Raventhedarkgoddess: I think I messaged most of you, but I need to thank you all (possibly again) for your support on my story and all your dedication! Seriously, you guys are amazing; reviewers I didn't even had showed up to support me, and it means a lot.

I'm going to continue this fic- Who cares about flamers anyway? Besides, you guys are a pretty good reason to continue this fic.

I behaved rather badly, at any rate, so I'm very sorry... I know, I'll write a new chapter to make up for it! (This continues off the part I wrote last time...)

Chapter Six: The Urge To Smile

That Friday night felt like it would never come, but when it did, he stood, forehead pressed to the glass, lips jagged around the edges from too much nervous licking, hair slicked back against his head and his mask firmly in place, looking out the window. There was no sight of Raven, or of anything but the waves, and for a moment, he wondered if he shouldn't have insisted on picking her up. The worry was there…

"Friend Robin, are you sure that you are 'okay'?" Starfire asked him. "Friend Raven is not to be here for another twenty minutes or so…" She placed a hand on his shoulder, which made him jump and spin to look at her. She was dressed nicely- They all were- and wore a nervous smile similar to the one he gave her in return.

Cyborg came over to stand behind them. "I'm nervous, man. You say she hasn't changed much, and I know I'm over her, but… This is going to bring back so many memories…"

"I understand, Cyborg." Actually, Robin thought to himself rather bitterly, I don't understand. I don't understand why you think you have anything to be depressed or scared about… You're not the one who had, has, and will have feelings for her for the rest of time, now are you?

"Why wasn't I invited to this group huddle?" Beast Boy was leaning on Cyborg's shoulder, earning him a disgusted look from Cyborg. His hair was slicked back and his smile looked stupid- Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg all burst out laughing at once.

Beast Boy cocked his head to one side in confusion. "It's not nice to laugh at people who don't deserve it. I look awesome!"

Starfire continued to giggle, although by this time Robin had sobered up and was back to staring out the window. "Where are you?" He whispered under his breath, feeling alone and betrayed. "Where are you now, Raven?


She stopped like an animal caught in the headlights, when in all of reality she was caught in the lights from the T-shaped tower that had once been her home before her. The embazed windows reflected in her large violet eyes as she stared, and stared, and then turned away, blinking quickly.

Suddenly her eyes were clouded over, lost to a memory that she had been trying to shut away since the day it occured so that she would never, ever completely lose control again...

She sat among the boxes that were the contents of her room. She could have packed easily but instead was trying to get used to what her new life would be without the use of her powers, and so she sat, lifting each heavy book into the bottom of the cardboard cartons. The room was slowly baring- It looked more generic than anything anymore, and so she looked around at what remained of her life.

She hardly heard the boy sneaking up on her until a green-gloved hand took the book from hers. "Raven, you have to hear me out."

"I think I already heard you out last night."

"I didn't mean any of that and you know it!" He moved to grab at her arm again but pulled his hand back as it came close to the area of her stomach where the blood had coursed from last night, starting the entire fight in the first place.

"You could have fooled me, if you want me to be very honest with you." She wretched the book back out of his hand and set it on top of the box, which a black ball of energy then closed before she had the chance to reach for it.

"You need to consider staying here for m... For the team!" His face was blushing slightly, and he tried to catch her eyes, but they were darting around the room, making sure that she had everything.

"I would never consider staying," she hissed softly, "Where I'm just some unwanted demon."

"But you're not just a..." He paused. "Fine, you know what? Get lost, you stupid demon! I hope..." He stopped and clamped a hand over his mouth, trying to keep the words from coming out again.

"I know," she said in a deathly whisper as she stood, glaring at him. "You already told me you hope I die."

"I didn't..."

The large bird seemed to be sweeping up the boxes, and moments later Raven was gone, her black mass of energy unable to take anymore of the insults.

Or of the pain she felt at those words.


Blinking hard, Raven reached out her hand to touch the door, wondering if the door would accept or reject her. However, before she could find out, the door flung itself open and the red hair whirled before Raven's eyes for only a second before she found herself laying flat-out on the ground.

"FriendRavenIamsohappytoseeyouandsogladyouareokayand...!" Starfire had, as usual, the same breathless speech, and so Raven lay there with her eyes closed, struggling to get a breath, until finally the laughter around themceased.

"Come on, Starfire, don't kill her," Raven heard Beast Boy say, and she slowly opened her eyes to find herself looking directly up at Starfire and, around her, at Beast Boy, Cyborg, and of course, Robin.

Slowly (after squeezing Raven again, so hard that Raven felt as though her ribs were broken) Starfire got up, and Raven was free to gasp for a little bit of air.

Two hands shot out at once to help her up. One was gloved and green, the other cybernetic, and they hung in the air above her. "Need a hand?"

Another memory washed over her, perhaps a result of hitting her head, perhaps a memory of another time back before she had left...

Raven was laying face-down on the cement. Slade had dealt his blow, done his damage... And was leaving her there.

She had gone over this millions of times in her mind, and she assumed this was before Robin had become angry that Slade was getting away, because in a flash he was at her side, Cyborg next to him, and both looking down at her eagerly.

"Are you okay?" Both had asked at once. She knew she must have looked a sight- Her blood was coming down and beading over her body very fast, and she was weak, tired, almost not there at all. "Take my hand," they had said again in unison, and Raven had found herself looking up at them right before it all fell apart...

And she had smiled.


This time she did not allow herself to smile, but did take both of their hands and permit them to help her up off the ground, lifting her between the pair of them. The urge was there but she fought it, and permitted them to lead her inside, still chattering away.

The room was largely unchanged, and she sat down on her corner of the couch almost by instinct, and then wanted to smack herself for doing that. Stop sending the messages that you want to be here, she snapped at herself.

But I do want to be here...

The next hour (or was it an hour and a half, it felt so long for the shattered teammates) was painful. The talk floated in and out, the topics not really relevent, and Raven struggled to focus on her friends even though it was so tempting to let her eyes wander the room where she had once lived. Everything held a memory just out of her reach, and she fought against it, although not to much avail.

The topic had switched to recent crime. Raven tried to smile and nod, but it wasn't working; she felt like asking the real questions she needed answers to. She felt like standing and addressing old times and whether everything had to stay the way it was.

She dug her nails into the couch arm and said nothing for several long minutes, until finally she caught the heat of Robin's stare. He was watching her without his cocky nature- But was it sympathy, pity, or regreat she saw in his slump?

She wanted no part of any of them. Pretending to check a non-existent watch under her sleeve, (she'd forgotten hers in her hurry) she stood up, pretending to have to hurry. "I... have to go."

"Will we see you again?" Starfire asked. "We have all missed you, and it has been enjoyable to be almost teammates again."

"Please, Raven?" Beast Boy's arm was gripping her sleeve, and she tried her hardest to keep her stone-cold face, but could not do so without turning away to allow herself to get a grip.

"I'll be back some other time," she said, trying to keep her voice hard so that it didn't scream 'Can I stay here with you guys now instead?' "Thank you for having me over." Cold and formal though the words were, they did little but mask how she really felt.

"Rae, take care."

She blinked back hard at hearing Cyborg's voice. "I will." And she prepared to leave, walking out the door and staring up into the night sky, which was luminated only by the moon out here, away from the city that was still so very close to her.

Someone grabbed her arm, and she wheeled around to smack them, her hand making a nasty sound as it whacked off her attacker's face. "Did you have to hit me?" It asked in a joking voice.

"Sorry!" Raven found herself face to face with Robin, who was holding the side of his face but still laughing slightly. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's my fault." Before she knew what he was doing, the hand not holding his face had snaked around her shoulders, and the pair of them were standing there under the moonlight. "I just wanted you to know, it's okay if you don't feel like coming back..."

I want to come back... 'I liked seeing you guys, though," she blurted out, and Robin smiled slightly. "I mean, it is really nice to..."

"Shhhh." He hugged her before suddenly letting go and turning his back. "I'll see you again, then." And with that, he disappered, the silver light leaving him as he traded it for the shadows.

For whatever reason, under those silver clouds, watching him leave, the emotion slipped up and she could control it no longer.

Raven smiled.

Raventhedarkgoddess: Goddes is BACK! Please R+R if you'd like, I like hearing from you guys. Thank you again for all your support.