I must apologize for not updating like i promise. Forgive me! If you want to hurt me RPG style, the way i wantto die is at the end of the chapter. To make up for it, I posted up 3 NEW CHAPTERS!

Enjoy!

Chapter 3: A barbeque, a blonde, and something that made fire

Elena walked in the door, jingling the keys and closing her door to her house. She threw the keys on the kitchen counter and but her bag of food on the counter and took her jacket and tie off and threw them in a chair.

"Huh? Weird, where's—" Elena was interrupted as a black and white cat was purring and rubbing himself against her legs. "There you are Squeaker."

Squeaker meowed. Elena found the cat in an alley when it was a kitten. She gave it a home and named it Squeaker for no good reason whatsoever.

Elena walked over to the counter and took out the pork chops and the 'magical' barbeque sauce. She picked up the barbeque sauce tub and read the label.

"Add half of this tub with sugar, shake til blended, wet the chops, put it on and cook." Elena read out loud. "Hey! This is simple."

Elena went into her cupboard and grabbed the sugar container and poured it into the tub, closed the lid and shook, easy right?

Squeaker meowed, he was hungry. Elena looked down and noticed her cat was hungry. "Oh ok, I'll feed you so that I won't forget when I leave."

She went into the fridge with the pork chops and put them in the top self. She looked at the bottom self and grabbed a can of cat food.

To Reno, it looked like crap, but to Squeaker, it was heaven for some oddball reason. Elena put some contents of the can into a cute pink dish with a chibi kitty face on it. Then she put the can back in the fridge and continued to shake the contents of the mix. Singing… "Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow."

Elena finished and put the container down. "Now, for the chops." Elena went into the fridge and pulled them out. She peeled the plastic off and put it on the counter, filled a bowl with water and did what the instructions say.

Now for the hard part that Rude should be doing. The barbeque.

Elena walked out onto her balcony where her unused barbeque was. She looked at the directions on the barbeque and something clicked in her mind.

"Matches!" Elena said, she put the chops down and went inside and checked… everywhere.

She had no matches… or lighters to make fire… this was a problem.

Elena sat there. She looked at her watch as it read five p.m. She had to be there in an hour.

Then it clicked.

"Where's my fire materia!" Elena ran into the house and dug in her room. She found the orb and attached it onto an armlet she had found with it.

Elena let out a devilish laugh… this was worse than Cruella De Vil.

She ran outside and opened the barbeque. Then got herself ready as she turned on the gas.

Ok, use just Fire, not Fire2 or Fire3, just Fire. She thought and released.

It was a Fire3.

"DAMN!" Elena almost shot her barbeque off as it had Reflect and shot the Fire3 back at Elena. She screamed as parts of her uniform and hair was cinged.

Elena stomped inside, followed by a trail of smoke in her hair, and grabbed the phone and dialed a number.

After three rings, a dark voice was on the phone. "Hello?"

"Rude? Hi its Elena." Elena was swatted the smoke away. "I have a question." She started to cough.

"Lemme guess… you had no matches or a lighter and you used your fire materia didn't you?" Rude mentioned as a whirling noise was made in the background.

"Yes…" Elena wiped some black stuff off her face. "What are you—"

"All barbeques are equipped with a tiny chunk of counter materia made in it… so if you use any materia… it counters it and sends it back at you." Rude said on the phone as a sound of ding!; occurred. "This is how the Shin-Ra makes money…"

"What the hell!" Elena shouted then coughed. "Rude.. what are you making?"

Rude, for the first time, shuddered. "Uh… bad reception… phone's gonna die! Secret surprise! Bye!" He hung up.

Elena sat there in surprise… "hmm.." she shrugged and hung up the phone.. as she walked away… the phone rang.

"Elena!" Reno yelled in terror on the other end.

"What?" Elena said calmly on her end of the phone…

"It's coming to—AHHH!" static went over the phone. Elena just shrugged and hung up. "Reno, you're an idiot."

"Men." Elena huffed as she walked away, turned around and looked on what was next to her television.

The matches…

Elena smiled in glee and grabbed the matches. She then remembered that Reno was over and smoked… he forgot his lighter and ask Elena for the matches… the 'idiot' never put them back.

She walked out… still burned and fired up the grill. She put the chops on and poked them with the tongs and cooked them.

20 minutes later…

Elena walked in with the finally cooked pork chops. She put the plate on the table and put them in an already prepared dish with a lid. She put them in and closed the lid. She looked around, walked to the bathroom and grabbed a towel… and shut the door.

Finally… it was over.

Ok, to kill me, i want it just like Cloud vs Sephiroth. Get it? Got it? Great!

Here is the next chapter. and its a teaserso think."Whats blue and red and has a static cling to it?"