This chapter didn't get teh full name on the chapter thingy up there. Damn it. anyways. This chapter has a tidbit if Reno bashing and something for the fangirls. There will be a note when you read it fangirls.

I dedicated the new little fuzzy character to Lalelilolu, my best pal who acts like our little friend in this fic. He does all these things when we play Halo.

Chapter 4: What blue and red and has a static cling to it?

Another disclaimer: I do not own the song mentioned later in this fic. I will mention the song title when the chapter is done… so that I don't spoil the fun of reading it.

Reno walked into his messy apartment, kicked hit door a few times to shut because the door was broken, and trampled through his messy apartment into the unused kitchen.

Last time used… unknown.

Reno but his bag down in a chair and looked in the cupboard. "Booze… Booze… more booze… PAINKILLERS!"

Reno smiled over his prize. His headache was the size of the North Crater… times three. He took it down (it was one of those dissolvable painkillers) and rummaged though the bag. But first… he had to be prepared… there was one thing he needed.

The pot.

"Ok, cleaning the pot… easy." Reno walked over to his messy stove with a nervous chuckle. He saw the pot and put his hand on the lid. He had his other hand ready on his electro-mag rod.

He lifted the lid as a cute little blue fuzzy creature… twitched. He slammed the lid down. "OH SHIT!" The pot began to shake as Reno had his hand on the lid. He carried the now… heavy and growing more heavy pot across the kitchen and put it in the (thankfully cleaned) sink.

Reno placed his chest and bodyweight on the lid… one hand on the soap, the other, his electro-mag rod.

Suddenly, the pot stopped moving.

Reno looked down where the lid was on his chest and got up. He put the soap down next to him and turned on the water as hot as he can get it to. He grabbed the soap and the sponge, yellow rubber gloves Rude gave him for Christmas, and opened the lid.

The mold had grown as it expanded from the pot. It got to as high as over Reno's head… it had a mouth now… oozing blue icky stuff and cranked his head back… and roared in Reno's face, messing his hair up and pulling the glasses off his head.

Reno dropped the soap and sponge (which was spilling) behind him and grabbed his electro-mag rod.

He electrocuted the monster and it bit Reno's arm, swallowing his precious weapon… Reno shrieked and yanked his arm out. It was covered in blue ooze and…

"YOU ATE MAGGIE!" Reno yelled in anger. "YOU ATE MY PRECIOUS!" Reno yelled.

His gun… was left in Elena's car… his was unarmed.

Reno turned around as the mold monster…. He was screwed… big time!

The only weapon he had was a pistol under his pillow in his bed…

Reno turned around for a sprint and the mold monster grabbed a hold of Reno's ponytail and yanked it. With a little yelp from the redhead and slipping and the spilling soap; Reno slipped and flipped himself over, he landed on his back and was covered in 'BloodSet Bleach Alternative' soap.

The monster let out a high pitched laugh. It sounded like an evil jack-in-the-box. "Ah... ha ha ha!"

Reno cursed as he got up with his sore back. "Shut up!" He scrambled back up and sprinted into his room…

Reno ran into his room and jumped onto his messy (he never makes his bed… bad Reno!) bed and throws the pillow off.

There was no real gun… it was an itty bitty tiny water gun.

Reno frowned. "Ah fuck it all!" Reno then heard a growl; like off alien vs. predator with the little click, click, click noise. He didn't want to turn around, but he did as the mold monster was at his bedroom door, oozing blue ooze and fuzz on the floor. He screamed like a girl and ran straight for the other door on his left into the living room.

The mold took a quicker shortcut by just going into the living room with going in Reno's room. The mold slithered into the living room as Reno was hiding behind his couch.

Reno sat there… holding his breath with a paralyzed movement. Maybe if I don't breathe and hold still, it will crawl back away and I can get to the phone.

Reno waited as he sat there. The mold entered the room and sniffed around, and then it was so up close next to Reno, breathing blue smoke next to him. Reno was trying so hard not to scream or run. The mold didn't turn its ugly head but, turned around and left the room. Reno finally breathed. He got up and almost slipped on something as he got up. He quietly picked it up and looked.

Thunder materia…

Reno smiled. Hopefully this comes in handy cause I mastered this before losing it during me and Rude's movie pizza bash we had two years ago. Reno slipped it into his pocket.

He got up and tiptoed to his phone. He grabbed a hold of it and dialed in Elena's number. He had to tell her to get over here with his gun and give him backup.

The phone rang. Reno said a small silent celebration.

"Hello?" Elena had answered the phone. Reno then heard a 'click, click, click' growl. He turned around and noticed it was the mold monster.

"Elena!" He yelled in terror.

"What?" Elena coughed, she sounded like she had no interest whatsoever.

"It's coming to—AHHH!" The mold had bitten his leg and started to drag him away. The phone was dropped into the ground as Reno yelled. "Elena!"

The mold had a hold of his pant leg, not his leg, the pants. Reno was clawing the floor leaving scratch marks as he yelled, hoping that Elena could hear it. "I NEED MY GUN RIGHT NOW! GET OVER HERE!"

The other line… hung up.

Reno looked around as he was dragged into the kitchen. He grabbed both sides of the door framed and pulled away. The mold monster tried to yank him in as Reno kicked it in the fuzzy face.

"BACK! BACK I SAY!" Reno yelled in anger and something clicked in his mind. He got himself free after the next kick and got out his thunder materia. He looked the monster and the monster stared at him back. He smirked.

"Go to hell." Reno let out a Bolt3. It shrieked the monster as it let out its evil laugh again and was now a puddle of blue fuzzy ooze. "And don't ever… bug me again!"

20 minutes later…

Reno finally got the water boiling on the finally in the freshly cleaned pot. He was sitting there in his… boxers? (Yeah… love me now fangirls?)

Reno also had the washing machine going. He only used water for washing things, except dishes. After the battle, Reno's uniform was covered in blue fuzz that wouldn't come out when he tried to rip it off. So he threw it in the wash. He actually mopped up the mold puddle and he had 'nothing' else to wear so he decided to cook in his boxers.

Reno sat at the table while the water was boiling and got out the bottle of polish. He had his blue oozed up electro-mag rod to clean now. After cleaning 'Maggie' up and pouring in the mac' and cheese. Reno went into his room with his mega huge stereo and got out a CD known as 'Reno's Mix' and popped it into the stereo and turned it on full blast.

He grabbed the big plastic spoon he was cooking with… and sang into it like a microphone as the music played.

"Mali he… mali hoo… mali ha… mali ha ha"

Reno was doing the Numa Numa dance in his kitchen singing. "Numa numa ey. Numa Numa Numa ey. Kiportelchi lago saten dai…"

This was worse then Tom Cruise dancing in socks, briefs, and a shirt in Risky Business. Reno danced and sang as he stirred the mac and cheese then as he was finishing it up.

There was a knock on the door…

Reno walked over to the door and opened it. It was Elena in jeans and a purple long sleeved shirt; she was finally cleaned up after her scenario with the barbeque. She just stared at him.

"RENO! GO PUT SOME PANTS ON! THERE IS A VIRGIN HERE AT YOUR DOOR!" Elena yelled covering her eyes. "God sakes man, what were you thinking!"

Reno looked down at himself, he was wearing the blue chocobo boxers his mom got him for his birthday, and then looked at the blonde covering her eyes. "Might as well get changed then." He smiled.

"You better or I swear I hurt you even worse then this morning!" Elena still had her eyes covered. Reno walked away, scratching his hair. "Come on in."

Elena walked in with her eyes covered and Reno went into his room and then poked his head out from behind his door. "You can look now. Oy…" He went looking on his messy floor for at least some pants.

Elena opened her eyes and looked. Reno was out of sight. She threw a sigh of relief as Reno got into some jeans, brown boots, and a black t-shirt that said this:

You have the right to remain stupid... anything you say can and WILL be ignored…

"So, the meat done?" He walked into the kitchen as Elena looked around his messy apartment.

"Yeah, did you do ok with the Mac and Cheese?" Elena asked turning her head a bit.

"With a little friend that came out of my pot… no, the cooking, kind of." Reno responded from the other room. "I'm sticking to Easy Mac at work."

Elena lifted an eyebrow. "You ready yet, we only have 20 minutes before the president comes."

Reno was standing outside his kitchen door with a pot of Mac and cheese. "Can we go… now... please… before I drop this heavy pot!"

Disclaimer after fic: I do not own theNuma Numa song

There is Chapter 4! Next Chapter is 'Chaos at Tseng's House'