Testing Hearts
Disclaimer: No, I don't own the Labyrinth. Happy?
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I grumbled darkly as I walked the halls, then stopped. 'Wait just one damn minute! There weren't any halls last I knew! Dammit! Goddamn mother fucking sonovabitch! This whole damn castle changes? AAAAAAARRRGGHHH!' After a few more mental shrieks I stalked off in some vague direction and started looking for the throne room.
There was no way in Hell I was gonna let those kids stay by themselves if the castle itself changes! I don't care if they were in the so-called care of the Goblin King! Damn make-up wearing freak! And what in Chaos's name did he do to his eyebrows! I knew goths and actresses that wouldn't dream of doing that to themselves! Hell and tarnation, I was bloody one of them! And dammit! I've slipped into an English accent again. See what being around people with accents do to me?
As I walked I flexed and stretched my wings, to get them used to flapping so I could fly better, and longer than two minutes. I could practically feel each and every individual muscle shred and mend in an effort to get stronger, thickening and lacing into tough cords. I finally rested them a bit and continued walking.
I met; Three talking doors on my journey, two flying fairies, who I managed to scare into hiding, a bunch of small furry things that were biting each other and a few goblins that were stealing each other's chickens. 'I wonder if I left my opium incense out again, this is waaaay to hyperish to be a dream, or real, maybe it's just fantasy. AIEE! Stop singing dammit!' I shook my head, I knew I shouldn't have read that Matrix parody of Bohemian Rhapsody. I wandered a bit more, to get used to the terrain, and stumbled upon the most peculiar bit of chaos in the throne room.
I blinked rapidly at the sight I was faced with. 'What. The hell.'
"What in the 10,000 Hells of Borayne is going on? Wait, nevermind, don't answer that I do NOT wanna know!" Twisting and sweeping my wing out I caught DJ just as he was about to fall, Ryu and Koichi had enough sense in them to stay away. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO DO! DO YOU WANT THESE KIDS TO HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE?"
I set DJ down and marched right up to the man that had just caught another falling baby. He looked rather amused as I started shouting at him. "WHAT IN HADES'S UNDERWORLD WERE YOU TRYING TO PROVE? YOU CAN SING! SO WHAT! BIG FUCKING DEAL! A HELLA LOT OF PEOPLE CAN SING! YOU DON'T SEE THEM PRANCING ABOUT IN RENTED FORMAL WEAR SEDU-" I smacked myself in the forehead, ooookay, next time we watch the Thing as a Halloween movie, not John Carpenter's VAMPIRES, thats a good movie and all but I've seen it so many times that it's seems I've memorized his monologue... Hmm... Father Adam was kinda cute though... Back to the subject here peoples! "Okay, forget, whatever I was about to say," I snapped quietly. Then slapped him.
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Michelle groaned, this had to be the third time Sarah stopped and stared at the castle in sight. "I HEAR TOBY CRYING!" She wailed, "Mom's gonna kill me if anything happens to him!" Sarah took off in the vaguest direction possible, straight for the castle.
"Why are we following her again?" Theresa snapped as they ran.
Shellee rolled her eyes, "Look, I'm getting sick, and tired, of your fucking 'Waianae' attitude, all right? Either shut up! Or go in your own fucking direction!"
Michelle winced, "Damn, who spit in her bean curd? Oooo! Now I remember where that came from! Mulan! Yay! I remembered!" Everyone, even Sarah, stopped and turnned to look at her weirdly. Michelle paused, "Did I say that out loud?"
"YES!" They all shouted in annoyance.
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Off in the distance, a scream could be heard.
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