When Love is Not Enough
By Kenne Morrison
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story nor the events that are referenced. Those characters and stories belong to their respective owners and Marvel Comics. This story is Not For Profit; entertainment purposes only.
Author's Notes: I wrote this yesterday when I was feeling depressed and a little bit frustrated. Some of the events listed are not 100 correct, and there's some stuff that I took creative liscense with. Also, while I tried to keep the grammar and spelling errors to a minimum, I haven't edited this all the way. Please be advised that it might have some run-ons. If you see something that I did wrong, and feel inclined to inform me, then you'll have my thanks.
Everything was perfect. From the magnolia blossoms that filled the church with it's sensual perfume, to the classically-trained quartet of violinists that played the typical pieces one would expect at a wedding, even down to the plush carpet that made her feel as if she was walking on clouds. No, there was nothing about this day that she could point to and say it was ruined. Everything was working together in harmony as if the very heavens themselves had declared that her special day be exactly perfect. Then why did she feel so miserable?
"Rogue, hon, are you all right in there?" came the voice of Ororo Munroe, one of her best friends ever, through the door that separated the bathroom from the rest of the bridal chamber.
Rogue sniffed and wiped her nose with a tissue as she sat on the toilet. She was spending more time in the bathroom, trying to hide her misery, than she was getting ready.
"Ah'll be out in a second, 'Ro," she said.
"All right, but don't take too long. We still have to put the train on your dress and your veil on your head. The ceremony's going to start in thirty minutes."
"Thanks, 'Ro. Ah don't know how ah'd manage without ya."
That little voice inside her head admonished her. She should have told Ororo that she was having doubts. But, how could she tell even her best friends that the man that she had loved for so long was no longer the man she wanted to marry. What would they think of her if she called the whole thing off and left him standing there waiting for her to return. No, she had promised herself to Remy LeBeau years ago, even before he'd gotten around to asking for her hand in marriage. No one ever told her that she'd stop loving the man, but over time, she'd come to realize that she had.
As she twisted the necklace that she wore, a necklace specially designed by her friend, Forge, to serve a special purpose, Rogue was caught in the reverie of the events that had brought her to this point in her life. The events that had started out so full of promise and joy but were now condemning her to a life of mediocrity with a man that she merely tolerated nothing more.
When Rogue had first met Remy LeBeau, he was serving as a champion and bodyguard for her fellow X-Man, Storm, who had been de-aged to a couple of years before her mutant powers had manifested. Remy was the sort of person that any southern gal like Rogue would swoon over. He was charming, handsome, and dangerous. He was the kind of guy that tore your heart out but made you quiver in ecstasy as he did it. Gambit, as Remy preferred to be called when in costume, took his role as protector very seriously. It would be a few weeks before Rogue would even learn that Gambit was interested in her. It would be even a few weeks more before either one of them would act on their feelings.
She hadn't expected a picnic when he said he wanted to take her out, but she should have known that the ride on his Harley was a given in order for them to get to where he had planned their picnic. She remembered laughing as the wind blew her hair, and even though she couldn't feel his skin on her hands, she felt tremors of desire as she held on to his waist to keep from falling off. She had even dared to lean in close to him, smelling his manly scent, and dreaming of the day when a cure could be found for her mutant curse and they'd be able to melt their bodies together in the heat of passion.
Even the life-or-death situation that arose in the park and interrupted their date didn't take Rogue by surprise nor did it diminish how wonderful she felt at that point in time. She had seen Gambit, Remy, at work charming the ladies and making them blush. It had been her distinct pleasure to be the focus and sole recipient of those charms, and she had felt like a school girl when she had discovered shortly after that those charms he used would never work on the other girls like it did on her. He had offered her his heart that day, and no one could have stopped her from reciprocating in kind.
Through the years, things would be filled with ups and downs, but there was always one constant for them. No matter how much got in their way, they'd always feel that love for each other that defied all else that could not be shaken. She knew that Remy LeBeau was hers heart and soul just like she was his.
Living the life of an X-Man, always being willing to give your life for the better of humanity, was not very forgiving for those who were in love. There was little time for romance when you might spend weeks in another galaxy trying to convince a maniacal king not to destroy your homeworld. There wasn't a floral delivery that would send you flowers as a way of apologizing for the many months that you'd spend apart while he was on the other side of the galaxy serving as Xavier's bodyguard in a hostile peace situation.
Yet, whenever it felt like either one of them might just snap and throw in the towel on their relationship, events would change, and the world would stop needing saving. They'd actually get a chance to spend time together. Alone.
Like the time that Remy had taken her to the opera. Personally, she wasn't that big on it, but Remy had insisted that this was something all couples did, and he thought she deserved the special treat. She knew that he'd rather be back at the mansion playing poker with the boys, but it made her love him all that much more because he didn't even let it show that that was how he felt. That night, she'd put on her special necklace that Forge had given her, the necklace she only wore on special occasions like today. That night, she had let the power negators in the necklace cut her off from her gifts in order to give her love what he deserved. A kiss. She had been willing to try to keep the necklace on long enough for them to sleep together, but Remy wouldn't allow it. The negator couldn't cut off her powers for long, and the risk to her of a power backlash was too strong. Forge had explained to them that while the negator cut off her power absorption abilities, there was too much feedback from her powers wanting to restart themself that if she cut them off for long, the danger would grow that she could fry her brain while her powers fought to kick in.
At this point in their romance, they were both just happy to have the brief moments together where they could touch skin to skin, even if it was a touch of just seconds to barely a minute. At one point in their love life, Rogue had been afraid that Remy would leave her because of her inability to touch him like she should. However, there would be other things that would involve themselves in their lives and drive a wedge between them. She wouldn't kid herself into thinking that there was one major thing that did it because the love they felt had been hemorrhaging from a thousand tiny deaths for almost as long as they'd been together.
She took the time to tick off the events in her head that helped to contribute to today. They had both had a hard time loving each other when Remy's wife, Belladonna, showed up alive when she should have been dead. At first, she had thrown Remy off guard by suddenly showing up and reminding him of his responsibilities to her. Then when Remy rejected those responsibilities because he couldn't abandon Rogue, Belladonna had taken out her anger by trying to kill Rogue. The result had been that Rogue almost killed her by absorbing her life essence. She had seen a part of Remy's love die when he realized that Rogue was capable of murder, even if it was in self-defense. Had Rogue killed Belladonna, she would have to live with the knowledge that Remy would blame her for the rest of their lives.
An even bigger danger came when Rogue discovered that Remy had betrayed the X-Men by leading a band of ruthless killers to a massacre where Rogue herself suffered great emotional damage. The day that Rogue learned it was Remy who handed the Morlocks over to the Marauders for slaughter would be devastating for her. And even though it was more her reaction to Remy's desire to punish himself, Rogue had gladly left Remy to fend for himself in the cold environment of the Antarctic. After all, had it not been for Remy, Rogue wouldn't have had to carry the guilt of knowing that she had almost cost another X-Men her life when Kitty had phased her to save her. Kitty had almost died that day, and it would be months before Kitty would recover. Rogue had KNOWN it was her fault, and even though Kitty had never blamed her, Rogue had blamed herself. And then to find out the truth, Rogue had discovered someone else to blame. It had broken her heart to discover that the person to whom she cast that blame was the one man she had ever truly loved.
Even when Remy had returned, the others had treated Rogue like she was evil for her part in leaving him to die in the Antartic. Even after Remy explained that Rogue had been receiving his emotions and his desire to be punished and that she was not to be blamed, everyone still looked at her with cautious eyes. It would take her months before she would feel like she had earned forgiveness.
There were many other times when their relationship had been strained, but the crucial moment when the solid bond that they shared started to crumble was the day that her foster mother, Mystique, decided to break them up. At first Remy had been strong and even denied that Mystique had a point about him having needs. But, it wasn't too long before Mystique had provided the way for him to give in to his desires without it looking like he had cheated. Mystique had come to him looking like Rogue and seduced him. But, Remy had known it wasn't Rogue even though Mystique had tried to convince him that a miracle had occurred that allowed Rogue to touch him without danger. Mystique had seduced her man, and though she had forgiven him, she'd never be able to forget it.
But, the last embers of her love for him had died the day that Remy had allowed Apocalypse to transform him into the horseman Death. Remy had said that he was doing it for the X-Men because he believed that he could keep Apocalypse from destroying mutants or humanity. Still, Rogue had seen through it. Remy had been weak and let Apocalypse seduce his mind like Mystique had once seduced his body. Remy had been forever transformed by that experience. Months had gone by while Gambit had served Apocalypse leaving Rogue to worry about him. When he'd finally returned, he had promised the X-Men that he had never betrayed them. He had even managed to convince her that he had defeated Apocalypse the only way anyone could have, by getting into his inner circle by lashing out at Apocalypse when he was vulnerable and alone.
Rogue clucked her tongue as she heard another knock at the door. Why had she said she'd marry Remy when he had finally proposed? Could it be that she still loved him enough that she couldn't imagine a life without him? No, the sad, hard truth of it all was this: Rogue was willing to marry this traitor, adulterous, swine because when all was said and done, would anyone else truly have her?
