Last night we spent a long time in the living room, and despite my half-hearted protests that her legs must surely be asleep, she insisted that I stay on her lap. We talked, drank wine, and just enjoyed each other's company for a while. Eventually, the evening drew to an end, and we relocated to the bedroom, where we slipped under the covers and into each other's arms. We didn't make love, wordlessly reaching the agreement that we were both far too tired. We kissed so sweetly though, that my eyes had stung with unshed tears.

Waking up this morning feels like everything is sliding into place. My relationship with Andrea is no longer in question and there is no doubt remaining as to our wish to build a life together. I feel secure in her love for me and secure in our future. As I lay here in her arms while she sleeps, I feel utterly content for the first time in my life.

I can hear the padding of footsteps coming down the hallway towards our room, and I am relieved we have dressed appropriately for a visit from the girls. I am wearing my dark grey silk pyjama shorts with a camisole, which the girls have seen me wearing many times.

Andrea is dressed in a pair of flannel shorts, that are ridiculously short, and a plain navy blue tank top. I have seen her in many states of both being dressed and undressed since we came here, but this may well be my favourite. I have to confess that I never thought that such an outfit could make me simultaneously think someone is adorable, but undeniably sexy at the same time.

However, the outfit is perfectly acceptable for the girls to see her wearing, without embarrassing them or Andrea. I hear the door open quietly, and see two redheads peering curiously into the room. I raise a hand to put a finger to my lips, indicating that they should be quiet, but I beckon them over, nonetheless.

Cassidy has changed out of the dress we had left her sleeping in last night and is now wearing her favourite pyjamas, and Caroline has also changed into matching sleepwear. I remember a few years back when they would insist that I put pyjamas on and have breakfast, before watching cartoons with them, huddled under a blanket on the sofa.

I smile encouragingly as they pause near the bed. No doubt they have decided they wanted to come and cuddle like they used to do, but now faced with the reality of someone else in the bed, even though it is Andrea, they hesitate.

Without opening her eyes, Andrea lifts the covers back, and scoots backwards, making room for them in the middle.

"Get in, girls," she murmurs, still with her eyes closed, but a small smile is on her face.

"Thanks, Andy," comes the response from both of them, as they crawl up the middle of the bed, and then snuggle down under covers. Andrea pulls the covers back up, opening her eyes briefly to make sure that they are both tucked in, and then closes them again.

I can hear the moment she has gone back to sleep because her breathing changes, and I wonder how I didn't notice that she must have been awake before the girls came in. She had obviously just been enjoying the moment as much as I was, and that thought is so powerful, that I feel a rush of emotion. Here, in this bed, are all the people I love most in the world, and Runway is just a distant memory, even though it has been less than a week.

I wonder now why I held on so tight to my position as Editor-in-Chief, even going so far as to sacrifice Nigel's dream just to keep my own. If I had stepped down two years ago then I might have had everything I ever dreamed of. My girls would have had their mother around, and maybe I could have started on this journey with Andrea sooner.

'Maybe' and 'what if's' are pointless though, I know this. All I can do is to learn from my mistakes and try not to repeat them. No matter what happens next in both my own and Andrea's career, I will not make the mistake of sacrificing my relationships and family for the sake of power and recognition.

"I love you, girls, Andrea." I hear myself speak, as though making a vow to them, not that they know the thoughts going through my head at this moment.

Andrea mumbles sleepily, "we love you too," and is immediately back in the land of dreams again. My girls whisper back, "love you, Mom," in unison, as is their way sometimes.

My heart is so full that I feel like it will burst open, but I close my eyes and let myself bask in the happiness that I have found here. I want to stay awake, just to enjoy this quiet family time, but my eyes grow steadily heavier, and I know I am fighting a losing battle. I give up fighting sleep, and allow myself to drift off.

I am woken by the girls climbing out from under the covers, and then crawling down to the end of the bed, and jumping off. As I watch, they bounce happily out of the room, and I turn back to see Andrea grinning at me. The look is nothing but mischief and I wonder what she is about to tell me.

"It's time to load up on carbs," she tells me with a wicked grin, "we will need the energy for the day and it will help keep us warm."

"Carbs, Andrea? Again?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. I have eaten far too many carbs since we arrived.

"Carbs and sugar," she corrects me, before laughing out loud at what I assume she correctly identifies as the horror that must be showing on my face.

I shake my head, and can't stop myself smiling at her laughter. Andrea is beautiful, but when she laughs in such an unrestrained manner, she comes alive. Her features light-up, illuminating her face in a radiance that is not often seen.

"Where are we going today?" I ask, as I am not familiar with the area she has brought us to. I am confused when I see a brief look of awkwardness on her face.

"We have two options, but I will let you choose. Either way, it is ok with me, alright? I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Ok," I reply, wondering where this is heading, as she pulls me slightly closer and drapes a leg over my thighs.

"Gayle has a piece of land and the main hill behind her property is always used as a ski slope in winter. She rents it out to tourists and has all the equipment that we will need for the girls, plus she has a coffee shop at the bottom in case you want a break," she pauses then, seemingly looking for my reaction, "or we buy a couple of sledges and find somewhere ourselves. There are several places I know that we can try."

My immediate thought is to tell her that I don't want to spend the day at Gayle's, but her face is so hopeful, and I am reminded that this is not just an ex-lover. Gayle remains one of her closest friends, and as such I know I need to accommodate her presence in my life.

"I think visiting Gayle would be the better of the two options," I agree mildly, and I know that I have made her happy at that moment.

"Thank you." Andrea rolls on top of me then, kissing me so sensually, that I am suddenly confident once again that Gayle is not a threat to us. I make a small promise to myself that I will spend the day trying to get to know Gayle. I know how important it is for Andrea that we get along and I don't ever want to make her life difficult if I can help it.

"Let's go and eat these 'carbs' then," I roll my eyes as she offers me a happy grin.

She kisses me once again, and it's so full of love, the undercurrent of passion that is always ready to ignite between us, begins to pulse. I feel myself arching towards her, aching to be as close as possible, and for a moment I forget that the girls are waiting for us.

"We have to stop." She giggles at the protest that leaves my mouth.

Reluctantly I loosen my grip on her and allow her to roll off of me, but I immediately miss the warmth and the weight of her body. It's odd to me just how much I like having her above me since I hated being what I felt to be 'trapped' underneath either of my husbands. Yet the weight of her body on mine is strangely arousing, even without all the other delicious things that she does while in that position.

We get out of the bed, pull on our robes and then walk to the kitchen. They are both wearing aprons and looking at Andrea hopefully as she walks in. How has she managed to bring out this helpful side of my girls? I sit at the table and let Andrea take over the breakfast preparations.

"Do you want to help?" She asks redundantly, knowing the answer already, before both of my girls are nodding at her.

She takes command quickly then, and her efficiency in the kitchen has me slightly awed. In a matter of moments she has pulled out all of the ingredients for a multitude of breakfast things, and she is showing the girls how to make the pancake mix. Not a packet mix, as I have occasionally indulged in, but from scratch.

Cassidy's face is scrunched up as she contemplates the bag of flour in front of her and the scales. She is adorable as she carefully adds spoons of flour to the bowl perched on top to weigh it.

Andrea is helping Caroline to crack eggs into a separate bowl. She laughs gently when a piece of the eggshell breaks off of the fourth egg and lands in the bowl. I can see that Caroline is about to get angry. This has always been her way of dealing with a situation where she feels embarrassed, but of course, Andrea heads it off before it has a chance to begin.

"You know, I think I was about 15 before I stopped having to remove bits of shell from the bowl, Pickle, you're doing well." Caroline's face transforms with that knowledge and she is smiling again.

Andrea looks across at Cassidy, and sees her standing patiently, with the flour weighed out, "You've done a great job, Pumpkin, well done." I marvel at her instinct to make sure that both of them are included and she offers the same level of encouragement and praise. For all of their bluster and pranks, they are both very sensitive, and neither of them deals very well with feeling left out.

People all too often forget that they are not just one person and that they are individuals. Even their father makes the mistake of buying them identical gifts and clothes for presents, even though their tastes are varying even more as they get older.

"Cass, you're good at measuring, do you think you can measure the milk for me?" Andrea asks, and Cassidy's joy is plain to see at being recognised for her meticulous efforts.

She turns to Caroline, "I think you would be great at whisking. You've got strong arms from playing lacrosse, I know. Want to give it a go?"

"Yes, please," Caroline replies, reaching for the whisk that Andrea passes to her. She shows her how to hold the bowl and whisk and then gives her encouragement as she mixes the eggs.

"We'll whisk the eggs first, and then we'll mix in all of the other ingredients," she tells my daughter, using one hand to help her steady the bowl.

She gives them both other tasks to do, and a steaming hot cup of coffee is placed in front of me, with a chaste kiss on my cheek. The rest of breakfast doesn't take too long to prepare, but the girls are desperate to help cook the pancakes, and Andrea patiently helps them pour in the batter and then teaches them how to flip them. She looks up at me and sees me staring at her, and offers me a quick wink, and I find myself blushing, though I am unsure why.

I drink my coffee and go through the emails on my phone, quite content to listen to them chatter as they make breakfast. Andrea knows so much about them both, it amazes me. She knows what books they are reading, who their friends are in school, and even asks about Cassidy's last English essay, which I was unaware she had helped her with.

When she has found the time to help my girls and learn so much about them is a mystery to me. I know that when she delivers the book, they often wait for her, and her presence is requested by them at their recitals and school plays. This is more than that though.

She knows them as well as, if not better, than I do, and again my heart is aching when it hits me just how little I have been here for my children. The woman who was, until a few days ago, just my assistant, is closer to them than I am. Seeing them together today makes me understand just why she put them first in our talk last night. She is closer to them than I ever realised, and has been acting like a parental figure for them for a long time. No wonder she doesn't want to be separated from them, she is all they have had at times.

Runway was not worth the pain that I am feeling at this moment, and the pain that my children must have felt growing up without me around. Especially since their father doesn't give them any of his time either.

I feel incredibly guilty, and the ever-familiar lump that has appeared in my throat since Paris is back. I hold in a sigh and continue scanning my emails, determined not to ruin the mood with my melancholy.

A pair of arms appears around me, and Andrea is hugging me from behind, as a small kiss is pressed into my hair.

"They love you, and they understand that you have had to work hard to get to where you are, my love. They are happy to have time with you now, but they don't resent you for not being home more often, I promise." She has spoken quietly in my ear, and it sends a flash of desire through me.

Andrea has read my emotions perfectly, apparently, and knows exactly what to say.

"But what if they do?" I murmur back to her.

"They don't," she replies confidently, "we've spoken about it a lot and they understand, I promise."

I wasn't aware that this was something that came up in conversation with them, and although I am relieved to hear her words, a part of me is upset that there was ever a need for a discussion such as this.

"Thank you," I tell her, turning so that I can kiss her. We get lost in each other for a moment, but I pull back when I become aware of my daughters grinning at us, and making kissy faces.

Andrea leans towards my ear again, "we get to choose the life we want now, sweetie, and we're going to make sure that we all spend time together. Things are going to be different, and now is your chance to connect with them again."

She's right. This is an opportunity I didn't think that I would have and I plan on embracing it. She removes her arms and goes back to supervise the children, unwilling to leave them for too long without her assistance.

Breakfast is served, and my mood has improved hugely, as I listen to my girls telling me all the ways that they helped, even though they must know I have been witness to their efforts.

"I'm very proud of you both," I tell them honestly, "you are so grown up now, and you've done such a wonderful job with breakfast."

They both look so pleased with my comments, so I make an extra show of cutting off a piece of pancake, dipping it in the syrup and then closing my eyes as I eat it. To my surprise, it is genuinely delicious, and I hear the moan that comes out of my mouth.

"This is perfect, girls. Absolutely perfect."

They smile happily, and Andrea gives them both a high five, much to their amusement at an adult indulging them in this way.

We eat quietly, and I fuel myself with another cup of coffee before we start the day. The girls get up and begin to scrape our plates and then load them into the dishwasher, all without being prompted by either myself or Andrea, though she gets up to help them.

"Where are we going today, Andy?" Caroline asks once they have finished cleaning up the kitchen.

Andrea closes the door on the dishwasher and starts it running before answering.

"My friend lives near here, and she has a winter sports centre. She invited us to spend the day with her," she replies, as her eyes flicker towards mine uncertainly. I can read the expression, and I know that she is worried to reveal that she has been in touch with the woman since the girls arrived. I smile reassuringly at her and see her visibly relax some of the tension that had formed in her shoulders.

"I'm sure we will have a wonderful day," I tell them, "why don't you go and get dressed."

"The bags of clothes are in the hallway closet," Andrea informs them. Last night she had been reluctant to disturb them by taking them to their room, and I had all but pounced on her when she came in from the car. I can't help the small smile that comes to my face when I think of what we did next.

They excitedly scamper out of the kitchen and I can hear their excited chatter as they make their way to their room to do as I asked.

Andrea turns to me, "I'm sorry. I asked you to be honest with me, and I should have told you that she invited us all to her place."

I can see that she is uncomfortable, but she hasn't done anything wrong and I am quick to reassure her, "I trust you, and I know that you are friends. Close friends in fact. I wouldn't ask you to tell me every conversation that you have with anyone else, and Gayle is no different."

She looks relieved then and the tension leaves her body, "thank you. I just want to make sure you are comfortable with the situation, I know it's an unusual one."

"You don't have to worry, Andrea, I know she is and always will be a big part of your life," I try to reassure the slightly cautious woman in front of me. I stand up and cross the kitchen to pull her into my arms, resting my head on her shoulder as she hugs me back.

"Thank you. You don't know how much that means to me," she tells me with a small break in her voice.

"You've been through so much together, and I would never ask or even want you to give that up."

She loosens her hold, and brings up a hand to brush the forelock from my eyes, "I love you so much."

"I love you too, darling," I reply, "and I will show you just how much when we're alone later."

She smirks then, and the last of her tension leaves her body in a rush.

"I am going to tease you all day," she whispers wickedly in my ear, "by tonight you'll be begging for me to take you to bed."

A small tremor runs through me pleasantly, with the anticipation of what the day will hold in store for us, and suddenly I find that I don't mind at all where we will be, or who we will be with.

Tonight I am hers and she is mine.

Together we will light the world on fire.