Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Happy late April Fools! Woo-hoo! Okay, I know you know I'm lying, so it was worth a try.

Author's Note: Hey everybody! First off, thanks or all your reviews! Really, I had only expected to get one or two. Keep up the great work!

Secondly, I want to talk a little about last chapter that I didn't put in the author's note before. All the Phantom of the Opera characters have a little bit from everything in them. So you might see some Leroux, and then a dash of Kay, and then you may see something from the 2005 movie. So yeah.

Also, I got a few comments about when Erik said, "Wow. Nice use of consonance." There is some debate over whether or not it's consonance or alliteration. I put consonance because alliteration is the repeating of BEGINNING SOUNDS in several words. Consonance is the repeating of CONSONANTS all throughout several words. Alliteration is a form of consonance, and assonance. In this case, if you look closely, V does have a few words in there such as "however," and "of," when he pronounces it correctly, that indicate that V is everywhere in the words, not just at the beginning. Therefore, it is consonance.

THIRD AND MOST IMPORTANT: In this chapter, I poke fun at not only the characters, but fanfiction authors, including myself. Understand that this is only a caricature of SOME fanfiction authors, and I'm not stereotyping. I sincerely hope none of you will be offended by this. That would be… not cool, to say in the least. Anyway, tell me what you think about this brave new venture of mine. Thanks.


Author glanced at her watch. They were late. She had booked this parallel universe space-time-continuum arena a little later than she had expected due to procrastination. Schoolwork- as it always did and will continue to do- had taken up most of her free time, and this little escapade had been on her mind for quite a while now. However, this was the off-season for authors and readers alike, with exams and whatnot, which affected the arena's performance. Pretty much, when nobody bothered to read, the arena was to say in the least sluggish, and gave half-baked work. Author had heard of one anonymous fanfiction author who booked an arena for some Lord of the Rings characters against Harry Potter characters, and wound up with only the lower half of Gimli the Dwarf, a Lord Voldemort with only half the evil powers he was supposed to come with, and a Hermione that unfortunately due to a bad dial-up connection service came out as a Mary-Sue. Legolas Greenleaf didn't turn up at all, and the author never really found out where he went. Anyway, Author's reserved characters were taking an annoying amount of time being transported to their designated reservation, and the crowd in the bleachers was getting skittish.

"I really hope the server didn't lose them somewhere," she muttered, wondering if she could do a good show with only half of Raoul. It would probably be funnier, if not a little gruesome.

But sure enough, a black hole opened up in the middle of the arena, and a bunch of people were spat out of it.

V stood up and dusted himself off. "Where are we?"

"Welcome to the Arena de Nike!" Author shouted from her throne floating above them, "I am Anonymous Author, pleased to write you."

"Arena de Nike?" Erik snickered.

"Nike… it's… no, it's not the athletic brand, it means victory," Author fumbled, "Don't ask me, okay? I didn't make it up, I just rented it!"

"Why are we here?" Carlotta roared, and burst into melodramatic tears.

"I don't understand," sang Christine. From the looks of the soubrette, Evey noticed, this was nothing new.

"Why do you want us here?"

"To entertain," Author grinned maliciously, "Entertain me and my readers." She gestured to a small crowd of girls gathering in the seats.

"I still don't understand why-"

"OMG! I totallyluv you, Erik!" One girl jumped up and squealed. Erik grimaced, and took a frightened step backward.

"Pretty much, you guys interact with each other, I publish it, and my readers enjoy it." Author turned to the small crowd, "By the way, this story doesn't come cheap, ya know. All readers who do not give a review will be blackbagged!" Some of the crowd whimpered and slunk back into the shadows meekly.

"This is both torture and dictatorship," V stepped forward bravely, "We can take you, all of us together. Behind your anonymousness, there is nothing but a fan. You couldn't stand up to me for a second. I'm a rebel terrorist who believes in fighting violence with violence, believes in the power of an idea, what are you?"

"You… you can't do that." Author was taken aback for a moment.

"And why not?"

"Because it's against the rules."

"Well, I am not one who takes-"

"SILENCE, KNAVE!" Author roared, before sending a lightning bolt from the simulated sky, which shot down with a great thundering noise and a CRACK sound, and hit V square in the noggin. The blow sent the caped man flying. Evey ran to him. The readers bounced up and down in their seats with excitement. Author was jubilant. "Whoa! I didn't know I could do that!"

"Do you see what happens when you run your big mouth?" Erik snapped at V.

"Silence is the greatest sin," V returned weakly.

"V! I… I don't want you to die," Evey said tearfully. Every female in the Arena de Nike sniffled and sighed, "Awwww! That's so romantic!"

Erik dabbed at his eyes with a tissue, and turned on Christine. "Why didn't you do that for me?"

Christine looked at him for a moment, before going into a dream-like trance. Erik gave her some Renalin™, and she snapped out of it. "Huh? Oh. I guess it's because I'm a cooler character than her."

Evey sprung erect from her crouching position beside V and slowly turned around. "What did you just say?"

"I'm a cooler character than you. I can sing and dance ballet and go into frequent trances and be disturbed by a stalker pedophile."

"I am not a pedophile! You look practically 21 from this distance, and you certainly looked older in the movie and in various Broadway productions!" Erik protested.

"Just because you have A.D.D. and can sing doesn't make you cool," Evey put her fists on her hips. "You have to possess brains. You have to have more of an internal conflict that is resolved in the end, even though a new disturbation still remains."

"I do have an internal conflict! My daddy died of sickness!"

"Oh please," Evey rolled her eyes. "My parents were both protestors of teir oppressive government; my father went first and my mother was blackbagged and dragged off to who-knows-where before my very own 10-year-old eyes. How do you like them apples?"

Christine's pale, round face turned red in anger. "Are you challenging me?"

"Maybe I am."

Erik, into the moment, began the slow, rhythmic chanting: "Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight…"

"Uh oh, rhythmic chanting," one girl whispered in the bleachers, "That isn't a good sign."

"Have you reviewed yet?" Author snapped. The girl tried to hide herself by burying her head in a book.

"Fight, fight, fight, fight…."

"I could whoop your hind in under a minute; you wouldn't be a challenge at all." Evey looked at her fingernails.

"Your brain is challenged!"

"Your face is challenged!"

"Your Mom is challenged!"

"Oooooooooh…" the audience gasped.

"You need some ice for that burrrnnnn!" Author cried in glee.

"Let's go, right here, right now!" Christine put up her fists.

"I'm ready when you are, princess." Evey readied herself in that one position that I can't spell that you see in all those Jackie Chan and Charlie's Angels movies. You know, the "hiyyyyy-YAH!" one.

A ring slowly rose around them, the rest of the characters chanting outside of it.

The bell rung with a dinnnnng, and round one began.