In the Observation Lounge, Captain Picard had called a senior officer's meeting to check on Geordi's progress dealing with the shipwide malfunctions. He was somewhat surprised at the absence of Commander Riker and Counselor Troi.
Picard looked around the table, seeing everyone was patiently waiting on him to begin. Sighing, he called out, "Computer, what is the location of Commander Riker and Counselor Troi."
In a gravelly male voice, the computer answered, "The place is England, 747 BC. No, not BC. Nothing happened in 747 BC! In Holodeck 747, they are in… "
"Oh, never mind." The captain rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Can any of you give any light as to what has happened to my ship?"
Sheepishly, Data answered. "I believe I can sir." The android's eyes darted around the room, giving the impression of being nervous. "I bought a holovid chip at the last Starbase we visited which contained many interesting comedies…" he paused a moment. "There was an error, which seemed quite minor, but when I corrected it, the chip apparently sent the programs all over the ship."
"That's right," Geordi added. "Unfortunately, the Commander and Counselor were in the only occupied holodeck at the time. For some reason, most of the programming concentrated there."
Dr. Crusher addressed Data. "Have you watched everything on the chip, Data?"
The android smiled, "Yes. It is quite humorous."
"That isn't what I meant," the doctor gave a sympathetic smile. "I was wondering if you can tell us if Will and Deanna are in any danger."
"Oh," Data turned toward the captain. "It is very possible they are in danger, sir. Some of the humor is quite… violent… in nature."
"Violent?" Picard stared at him for a moment before speaking. "Is there any way to stop it?"
LaForge answered, "Not really, sir. I believe we'll have to wait on Commander Riker and Counselor Troi. The program has embedded itself so in the holodeck, we believe it must run its course in order for everything to return to normal."
"In the meantime, we will try to quicken the pace of the program, without it being harmful to either of them," Data added.
"Good. Carry on and keep me posted." He nodded with a bemused smirk to the officers, "We'll just have to hope no one decides to try to attack the ship. Dismissed."
Will, Galahad, and Deanna miraculously ran into Arthur and his group as they were walking through the woods.
Arthur waved at them. "Hail, Sir William, Sir Galahad, and milady. Did you find the Grail on your quest?"
"No, sire, I'm afraid we didn't," Will answered.
The king looked downtrodden. "We haven't found it, either. But, I feel we shall find it soon after we pass through this forest. Come along." He cantered forth, and they followed.
As they traveled onward, Deanna had the feeling she was being watched. She'd look out, but nothing could be seen. It wasn't long before she ignored the feeling and concentrated on keeping with the others.
"Ni!"
Troi stopped, looking for the source of the sound.
"Ni! Ni!"
It seemed to be coming from all around, but the main voice was up high. She shuffled through the other squires and sidled up to Will. To her surprise, there was a person standing before them that was about five meters tall wearing a helmet with antlers attached to the side!
In a high nasal voice, the person said, "We are the Knights Who Say Ni!"
"Oh no!" Arthur gasped, "Not the Knights Who Say Ni!"
"The same!" he answered. "We are the keepers of the words, Ni, Peng, and Nuu-wom!"
Whispering to Will, the king said, "Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
"Okay…" Riker turned to Deanna and shrugged.
The head knight spoke again. "The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!"
King Arthur began to plead with them. "Oh, Knights of Ni, we are only passing through…"
That started another barrage of the others yelling 'Ni,' while Arthur and the others cowered and covered their ears.
They stopped yelling, and the leader address the Round Table knights. "We shall say 'Ni' again to you, if you do not appease us!"
Arthur staggered to his feet to answer. "What do you want?" he asked.
He replied dramatically, "We want -- A SHRUBBERY! Yes! You must find us a shrubbery if you want to pass this wood alive!"
Will watched as the king all but fell on his face in submission. "Yes, oh Knights Who Say Ni, we shall find you a shrubbery!"
"One that looks nice," the head knight added, "and not too expensive!"
"Yes, of course!" Facing his fellow knights, Arthur said, "Let us be off to find a shrubbery!" At almost break-neck speed, he lead them away from the forest.
Once again, Deanna and Will followed the knights retreat through the forest. When they were clear of the trees, a small village appeared a short distance from them.
Arthur stopped and addressed Riker. "Sir William, you will accompany me to that settlement, where we will seek out a shrubbery." To the others, he said, "The lot of you will stay here until we return."
Muttering, the other knights nodded and appeared to make themselves comfortable. Lancelot jumped forward and spoke, "Your Highness, I should go with you! You may walk into danger while in that village!"
"You are a valiant man, Sir Lancelot," he answered, "but I believe Sir William and I will be fine. I will make it your responsibility to keep the other knights protected. Is that acceptable?"
Lancelot drew his sword, "Yes, Sire, that will do. That, I will do in my own particular… idiom! Yes, idiom! That's the word!"
The king waved him off, "Very well. We will return soon." Then, to Will, "Come along, Sir William."
Will noticed Patsy following the king, and motioned for Deanna to follow. The four skipped toward the small settlement.
Just outside the community, Arthur stopped and ordered Patsy to stay. Riker turned toward Deanna, "Do you mind staying here with Patsy?"
Smiling, she answered, "Don't worry about me; I'll be fine, Will."
"Okay," he nodded and ran to catch up with Arthur, who'd just about left him behind.
Riker followed the king around the village for some time in their search for a shrubbery. They rounded a corner and saw a building filled with different kinds of animals.
Arthur gestured toward that structure and Will followed. As they entered, the sounds of two men arguing could be heard.
"It's bleedin' demised, I tell ya!"
"No it's not, it's pining!"
"Now tell me, my lad, why did it fall on its back the minute I got him home?"
"Norwegian Blues like kickin' on their backs!"
Arthur raised his hand to interrupt, "Excuse me, sir…"
The man with the parrot spun toward him. "Hold on a moment! Your turn will come when I've got a replacement for this dead parrot!"
"E's not dead! 'E's resting!" The guy who apparently was the owner of the pet shop corrected.
The men resumed arguing, and Will, very frustrated with the two men, spoke using his command voice. "We're trying to find a shrubbery! Can either of you tell us where to find one?"
Silence followed Riker's question, and both men, clearly frightened about something, stared at him.
Will waited a moment, but neither one seemed to be eager to speak. "Hello?" he asked, "I'm trying to find a shrubbery?"
The owner of the pet shop finally tried to say something. "A-a-s sh-shrubbery?
"Yes!" he exclaimed, "What is your problem? I can't believe something like that could bring fear to anyone!"
A someone answered from behind. "It's not fear of the object, sir. It's fear of the ones who demand such things." Arthur and Will turned to see another man standing in the doorway.
"So, can you help us?" Riker asked.
"Yes," he answered. "I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies."
Will smiled, "Good! You're the man we're looking for!" Then facing the king, he said, "Your Majesty, let's order our shrubbery!"
As Arthur followed Will and Roger out of the shop, the other men resumed their heated discussion over the dead parrot.
TBC...
