Scene IV: The diningroom

The family is dishing out the spaghetti and salad without too much out of the ordinary conversation. Drake looks like he's ready to explode. Megan knows what the big news, and apparently it's bothering Drake. God, how she loves to see him squirm. Josh is happily eating his dinner. Walter doesn't know that the boys have found out the exciting news.

Walter: Gang, I have an announcement to make.

Drake: If we're having another baby pig, I'm moving out.

Audrey: What? What pig?

Josh: You mean little sibling.

Audrey: You think I'm pregnant? Drake, be realistic. We haven't…(she wanted to say that they haven't had sex in months, so it was impossible for that to happen)

Walter: Audrey!

Audrey: Well, what do you expect?

Drake: Whatever. I'm not having another person in this house. Its bad enough I have to share a room with Dandruff-Boy over there.

Josh: Hey!

Drake: Ok, so if it's not a baby pig, what's the "big announcement"?

Walter: Well, you remember my niece, Jennifer, from Long Island, right?

Drake: Vaguely. I was too busy hitting on the bridesmaids, remember?

Walter: Yes I do, and we'll talk about that later… (he glares at Drake)

Drake: Ok so what about her?
Walter: Well, she's going to be moving to San Diego, and I've offered to have her stay here with you guys while we're on vacation.

Josh: That's so awesome! I miss her so much! My cousin's going to be here and not there! I'll get to see her all the time now.

Megan: If she's anything like you, I'll…

Walter: Megan, Drake. Don't worry. She's nothing like…

Josh: I already explained it, Dad.

Walter: Oh, thanks. Well, anyway, since the divorce, she's been struggling. She was feeling lost and out of touch. So, she's decided to move here to be closer to family. I think it's a wise decision. She only moved to New York because Charlie's from there. She's got no one. Now, she'll have us anytime she needs.

Drake: So why have her stay here? You don't trust us, is that it?

Audrey: Drake, it's not that we don't trust you… Not that you didn't give us any reason to the last time, right?

Drake (hangs head and rolls his eyes): Yes, yes… I remember. Can we please move on from that?

Audrey: Well, why have her stay at a hotel and waste money when she can just stay here? Besides, I thought it would be nice for her to get to know you and Megan better.

Megan: Well, if she's cool, it will be neat to have a "big sister". I won't have to deal with these two boobs all the time anymore.

Drake and Josh in unison: Hey!

Megan: Well, it won't.

Drake: So, when does she arrive?

Walter: Saturday afternoon. Josh and I will pick her up at the airport. We leave on Sunday, so we'll get to spend some time with her before we leave. Now, Drake. I do expect you to be a gentleman and respect her. I'm not asking her to "babysit" you, but I do want you to treat her as a guest and be respectful of her space. No having the guys over for an all night jam session. No girls spending the night. And no fighting with Josh and Megan. Got it? (He points a finger at Drake and locks eyes with him)

Drake: Sure. You can trust me…

Walter (not confident): Josh, can you promise me that?

Josh: Dad, don't worry. If I could get Drake and Grammy to get along, this should be a piece of cake. And you know how I love cake.

Walter: So, it's settled. Jennifer will be pretty busy during the day apartment hunting and job hunting, so all I ask is that you help her out if she needs it, ok?

Josh and Drake nod their heads. Back to dinner.