Deanna and Patsy stood under the shade of a huge oak tree while Will and King Arthur checked the village for shrubberies. After several minutes, she noticed a line of four men, all dressed in white undershirts and boxer shorts marched out of one of the nearby houses.

Three of the men stopped as the leader stepped away, then they all turned to face him. He started barking orders and a few of the other men were talking back.

Patsy didn't seem very talkative, so Deanna walked a little closer to see what other craziness could possibly be going on. She noticed all the men in line looked a lot like some of the knights, even one was like Arthur! She watched and listened as the men continued on.

The man that looked like Sir Galahad was complaining, "Can't we do something else?"

Another spoke up, "Yeah, Like someone who attacks you with a pointed stick?"

Looking furious at the men in front of him, the leader, who appeared to be Lancelot, yelled, "Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh?"

Fresh fruit? What does that have to do with anything? She thought.

Leaning into 'Galahad's' face, the man continued, " Well I'll tell you something my lad. When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!" He looked around at the others, a look of almost maniacal enlightenment flashed across his face. "Now, the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion fruit…"

They're talking about defending themselves against fruit! Deanna stifled a laugh and took a few steps closer so it would be easier to listen in on them. As she did so, she noticed they each had name tags on.

Harrison, the 'Arthur' look-alike, took a small step toward the leader, "We done the passion fruit." He then started naming off a list of fruits, with help from the others.

'Lancelot' stopped him. "How about cherries?" His tag read 'Smith.'

"We did them," they answered.

"Red and black?" he questioned.

"YES!"

Smith thought for a moment, stroking his chin. "Bananas! We haven't done them!" He high-stepped to the side and a banana appeared in his hand. "How to defend yourself against a person armed with a banana!"

Deanna watched as he looked around. After a few moments his eyes stopped on her. Pointing at Troi, he said, "You! Come here, I need an assistant!"

"Me?" She stifled the giggle that tried to escape. Could this get any more crazy?

"Yes!"

Troi walked toward the tall man as he tossed the banana to her. "Here, catch!"

He turned back to address the others, "Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a person armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless."

Back to Deanna, Smith said, "Come at me with that banana. Now attack me with it. Come on, come on!"

"What?" She really had been listening to him, but she wasn't about to run at him holding a banana, much less any other sort of fruit!

"Come at me with the banana!" He walked over to her and adjusted the fruit in her hand like it was a knife. "Okay. I'm going to be over there, and you attack me!"

"No, I don't think I am," she replied.

"Oh, come on, please?" Smith pleaded, "These men really need to learn this!"

Deanna sighed and put the banana back in his hand. "I don't really think I'm cut out for this sort of thing."

His eyes widened as the banana was given back to him. "Careful! You could've lopped my hand off with that!"

She laughed, "No, I think not," she laughed, "And I agree with the guys. Pointed sticks would be a better weapon to defend against."

"Well!" he sneered, "We'll see how well you get on when some banana-wielding maniac comes out of the bushes and attacks you!"

Deanna heard Will calling her, so she turned and walked away from 'Lancelot.'

She gave Will a hug and asked, "How did it go?"

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you," he answered.

Laughing, Deanna replied, "You'd be surprised!"


Arthur and Will, along with all the other knights and squires, took the shrubbery to the Knights of Ni.

The Knights of the Round Table knelt as Arthur spoke. "Oh Knight Who Say Ni, we have brought you a shrubbery. May we pass through your forest now?"

The head knight answered in his high-pitched voice, "It is very nice. I like the laurel particularly. HOWEVER, we are no longer the Knights Who Say Ni!"

Looking somewhat bewildered, the king asked, "You're not?"

"No! We are now the Knights Who Say ikky ikky ikky ptang zoo-y poing!" The knight stood tall as one of his minions in the back yelled 'NI!'. He turned, shushing the other.

Back to Arthur, he said, "So, we must give you a test. You must find us ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!"

"Not another shrubbery!" Arthur exclaimed.

The knight nodded. "Yes! Another shrubbery! And when you are done with that, you must cut down the mightiest tree wiiiith -- A HERRING!" He held out a fish in his left hand.

Will couldn't take any more. "That's crazy! You can't cut down a tree with a herring, or any other kind of fish! It can't be done!"

All the former Knights of Ni howled as if they were in pain. "Don't say that word!"

Confused, Riker asked, "What word?

Holding his hands over his ears, the leader answered, "I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of Ni cannot hear!"

This is ridiculous, Will thought. "Then how do expect us not to say it, if we don't know what it is?"

The tall knight howled, "STOP! STOP SAYING THE WORD!"

"What? Is?" Riker prodded, hoping to find their weakness.

"No, of course not! You can't get far in life without saying 'is!'"

"What about 'it?'" The scream from the knights answered Will's inquiry, making him smile in amusement. "IT! IT! IT-IT-IT-IT-IT!" he yelled.

The head knight turned tail and ran off into the forest, followed by the others. All seeming to be in extreme pain over hearing the word 'it.'

King Arthur beamed at Riker. "Sir William, you are a valuable asset to the Round Table. Thank you for scaring them off!"

He bowed to the king. "You're welcome, Your Highness. I think we should continue on our way before they return."

"Once again, you are right." Arthur signaled to the others, "Let us be off!"

TBC...