This is my first fan fiction ever, so I beg that you not laugh. Or, if you have to laugh, disguise it with some screaming. Or something related. This fanfic may have lemon, and that includes Ed/Roy, and Ed/Envy. Be warned. This story includes many out of character scenes, and short chapters. Not to mention annoying comments and ramblings from me. Mwahahahaha- welcome to my world.
PSYCHO SOCIETY HIGHSCHOOL
Chapter
"So, he's hot, right?" one teen asked another as the students filed into class, fidgeting with their clothes, a few girls checking then rechecking their makeup. The teen beside him flipped back his sleek emerald shaded hair, his answer accompanied with the usual trademark psychotic smile,
" Yes, definitely", was the answer, though inside his head he added, 'Though nowhere near as hot as me'. The lithe student then strolled to his desk, sitting easily on the chair in front of it, then, after judging there was nothing else here that could captivate his interest, proceeded to fall into a deep slumber in which he could only be awakened by the next bell ringing. Or so he thought.
'Wow, she's cute' 'Look at her ass, its so shapely, and fine. Do you think she'll slap me if I just… ' 'Dude, you need to get a girlfriend' 'I want her to be my girlfriend!' The threat of being removed from the military was the only thing that stopped the gold eyed fifteen year old from screaming out that he was a boy. That, and the girls uniform that he had been so kindly forced into wearing. Oh, Roy was going to pay. He was going to pay, big time. If it wasn't enough that he had been forced into going to high school, he had now discovered that though while when being a boy girls tended to ignore him, he had the opposite affect on other boys when dressed as a girl. If one more teen asked him if he was 'That pretty blond stripper from the night before', he was going to—to—unfortunately, Edward could not think up anything violent enough for his satisfaction.
"Ah, Ed- I mean, Edwina, how healthy you look today" The young alchemist blinked as he felt a hand suddenly spoon his ass, then squeeze, and he turned around, the expression on his face the manifestation of rage. This was the last straw. He had endured flirting, winking, and certain requests for the whole ten minutes he had been in this hell hole entitled high school, and now, somebody dare grope him, the full metal alchemist! Someone had to die. As he turned, he lifted his arm, and-
Delivered a very girly slap onto the smirking face of Colonal Roy Mustang. Oh, Fuck. A voice in the back of his head remarked, Well, it seems like I've managed to destroy all chances of my ever returning to Central in one- no, five seconds flat. Oh well, at least I got to slap him. The platinum haired boy allowed himself a moment of satisfaction before turning back to the pyromaniac, his eyes unwittingly sparking with indignity and embarrassment. That, added to the fact his cheeks were flushed, made his feminine look all the more convincing. Roy suppressed a sigh. Ah, if only he were…
" Well, that's a fat lot of thanks I get for getting you into high school" The handsome- by a woman' standards, Ed reminded himself- man- How he got into high school, I will never know- remarked, using the silence as an opportunity to check his cheek in a nearby window to a classroom, admiring how his dark blue high school uniform flattered his fit body. Modest, he was not. After doing a thourough examination of his face, he turned to Ed, "You make a hot girl, I'll have you know. You are sure you're not a girl in disgui-"
Shut. The . Hell. Up." The chibi alchemist interrupted through gritted teeth, causing Colonal Shit to smirk as he rummaged through the what looked like his backpack. Sure, Mustang had been promoted… but Edward wasn't about to give him the satisfaction on acknowlaging it. "Ah, here it is," Roy continued, as if ignoring the fact Edward had even spoken- which he was- and thrust a package into the young prodigies arms. "You'll need this." He then added a paper to the already heavy burden Edward had suddenly found himself holding. "And this. Good luck." After that statement, he strolled off, yet Mustang looked as if to be in a hurry.
That was out of character. No teasing, no taunting, no cruse comments- except that one- no yelling for marring the Shit heads face, no running, no sudden bursts of fire- today he must have the luck of God, or whatever's up there, he mused to himself, then drifted off to another topic, still standing in the middle of the empty hallway- why had he been in such a rush to get to class. Wait a minute, there's something I'm forgetting here…. Ed thought, then his eyes flew open.
"AHH! SHIT I'M LATE FOR CLASS!"
Five weeks ago
A knock at the door of his Office was what had rudely awoken Roy Mustang on this dreary day- most work days were. The Colonal sat up, grabbing his pencil on the long journey it took and assumed an commanding aura, designed to lead the intruder into believing they had interrupted him doing important work. After quickly grabbing a random form and grumbling an "Who the hell is it" which led the one who dared disturb his doing nothing to believe they were welcome. It was a good thing he had assembled this look as quickly as he did, for as soon as he had finished speaking, an woman in an obviously uncared for business suit strided in. The man slowly began to smirk, a flirtatious look gathering, which vanished as soon as he heard what she said- and as soon as he noted she had no figure at all to speak of.
"My name is Bella Brollington, and I'm from Childrens Aid Society. It has been brought to our notice that Elric, Edward, has no guardian, thus, we have brought it unto ourselves to deliver him to a foster home immediately." Obviously under the misconception they would bring the lad right to her, she stared at the man proudly- he sure as hell should be intimidated by that speech,yes sir, it had taken her a whole five hours to write it!
"You- Childrens- No, I'm sorry, you are mistaken, you can not take away Edward, because he is valuable to the government, and is a State alchemist, thus, has the right of speech."
" The fact still remains that Edward is an minor, without an guardian to be taken note of. We would also take it apon ourselces to take case with Alphonse Elric, but, as it turns out, a suit of armor can not die of illness or starvation. " After revealing that rather obvious piece ofknowledge the woman settled back, looking quite pleased with herself.
"Well, Ed is- "
" Will you please stop talking as if I'm not here!" An irritated adoscelent voice butted in, as the two adult suddenly became aware that the subject of their conversation was leaning against the wall, pissed off vibes radiating from the platinum haired Chibi. The woman, however, looked pityingly down at Edward, her eyes softening as she gazed him in the eyes, and she leaned down to pat him on the shoulder.
" You poor dear.. your mother dead, no parents, no one to understand you , you look so alone…"
Ed stared at the woman as if she were, to put it lightly, insane. Well, looking of what we've seen of her, that does seem like a pretty apt expression, eh? Lucky for Ed, he was relieved of the responsibility of informing the woman she had mush for brains by Roy. Though it wouldn't have much of a better affect on her. "Oh, but I'm Ed-chans guardian " he interjected on the womans tirade of sympathy, really not wanting to do this, and at the same time, glad Ed had a nice ass as he stood up and reached for Edward, using his skills as a womanizer to pull Edward to his side, giving him an 'fatherly' hug. "And he loves me like a father" he continued, as Ed tried not to gag from the fact it was quite obvious the Colonal Shit had forgotten to wash his shirt last night. "Don't you Ed?"
" Of course- Si- I mean, Roy" pasting a cheesy smile on his face as he mentally promised to devise up something torturous to take revenge on the colonal with, since the raven haired man was holding Edward very tightly. The reason of this probably to stop him from doing physical harm to Roy.
"Ah, Er- I see, but-" the social worker faltered, but, determined she had not come here for no reason, "The fact still remains that Edward Elric has not received any education for the four years- according to you- he has been your responsibility. " She finished with a satisfied nod, causing the gold haired teen to grind his teeth in frustration. They were talking over him again. Meanwhile, Roy Mustang, who was entertaining himself with the notion of setting the woman on fire, and inserted what Edward would later curse him for,
"Then I'll send him to high school" he stated firmly, not noticing when the fifteen year old winced.
"He's too young" the woman quickly and hastily interjected, getting desperate. Childrens Aid needed Elric. The donations the sponsors would give them would cover the holiday fee she had used to go watch the pretty blond stripper girl.
"I'm fifteen" the subject of the conversation butted in, tired of being ignored- what an oxymoron. Whatever that was. He glared at the woman, drawing himself up to his 5'4 height proudly, as if daring her to challenge his claim.
"He's………small………. For…….. his age…." Bella falteringly stated…
"WHO'S SO SMALL HE MAKES LICE LOOK LIKE ELEPHANTS!" Ed exploded, looking like the devil incarnate as, oddly, he loomed over the tall woman – over at Riza's desk, she gazed in a perplexed way at where her desk had been a moment before.— Colonal Roy, however, staring at the woman after deciding that Full Metal looked good in black began to burn important paperwork in boredom. Eager to flee the madhouse, the woman garbled something out that sounded like 'Year-Paperwork-Highschool' drew a form out of her purse, flung it at Mustang, and turned- it was then when she ran into supposedly dead Hues, shrieked, and bolted, running screaming from Central. The military personnel, instead of looking fazed, instead exchanged glances, and come to the conclusion of "Pyromaniac and Shrimp."
Outside central, Envy mused to himself that no one had seemed to notice that Hues, who was dead, had been inside the office. Ah, well, it was to his advantage.
---
In the days that followed, Roy came up with Ed's name, School, and , yes, Gender. Evidently, Roy thought that if anyone that was army personnel knew that Full Metal was going to school because of his lack of care, the colonal would be ruined. Since the look on Edwards face after he had informed him of this made him nervous, he ran to the drug store to go shopping. So, Roy bought Edward the girls uniform, stockings, and, after a bit of struggle, managed to conceal his arm to appear like a normal persons- the only reason that had not been the case earlier, was that no one saw the use in it. And, feeling like Edward needed a protecter- or so he claimed- he had chosen himself, telling everyone in the office he was going on a break, admist grumbles of 'You never work anyways, whats the use of taking a break.'
End of flashback
One step from the door to his new class, the blond paused, hand already grasping the bronze knob. Shit. He was The Full Metal Alchemist. He had faced Homunculi, had his arm and leg ripped off by the gate of knowledge- he was not going to be defeated by the fear of opening one pathetic door! He faced this new adversary, Mr. Door, in full cold terror, a single drop of sweat lining the side of his face. The door was mocking him, he knew it- and would not accept it. Slowly, he turned the knob, and took one step in, paused to savor a silent victory, then walked inside the classroom, closing the now forgotten door behind him.
Mr. Door
Mr.Door felt proud. The author had written a whole paragraph about him! He proceeded to do what he did best- stand doing nothing.
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" That's a boy?" "That's the hottest guy I've ever seen." "No, you idiot! Look at that ass-" "Yeah, that's got to be a girl. Just gotta be a girl" "Cool!" "Do you think she got lost?" "Heck, I'm lost, in her eyes" "Dude, never become a poet." Cheeks burning with anxiousity and embarrassment 'Edwena' fidgeted with 'her' pleated mini skirt, on hand clutching the bundle Colonal Shit had pushed into 'her' arms. It was a good thing his hands were busy, or he may have given into some of his more violent impulses. Some of things the students around him weren't helping much, and he was very relieved when the teacher calmed the class down. 'Mr. Dullerton' Ed read from the chalkboard. Was it just him, or were the names here a –little- off.
"This is Edwena Erckle" the chibi had to prevent himself from wincing when he heard the last name the pyromaniac had bestowed apon him, and, he judged from the uprise of giggles and stares, his classmates agreed. Or at least the girls did. The boys… 'Edwena' took a step back as he noticed they were staring at him. Oookay… Had they guessed she was a he? Or- " She is new in our class, from-er…. Central."
This caused a few flinches as they heard the common place of the military dogs. "Well, then, Edwena, would you please take a seat behind the boy with the short brown hair. Yes, that's the place. You should sit.. yes, there." The gold eyed alchemist sat awkwardly in his seat, nervous for one main reason- he had never worn a skirt, while sitting down, in his life. Thankful for the black stockings he was wearing, his automail was unnoticeable, though, and his arm appeared, and felt, human.
He stared at his desk, trying to ignore the murmurs going around his new classroom. Luckily, since the teacher was reading the attendance list, the 'girl' didn't miss anything, and had only noticed the person behind 'her' briefly, thinking, 'Huh. Green hair.' He began to shift through the items in the bundle Roy gave him…
"Oy. Stop sleeping" the catlike boy behind Edwena was rudely awoken by a cruel finger in his side. The owner of the finger received a well placed punch in return as one of his violet eyes slowly opened, and he arched an brow at the offender who had awoken him from a perfectly good dream about himself, Ed, a pitcher of milk, and a cow.
"Why? It's not like I'll miss anything in this useless class" he drawled, not caring if anyone over heard or not. Now that he had awoken, he glared ahead of him, pouting. 'And I bet Chibi-chan's not even here yet..' he thought, then a psychotic smile crept apon his face as he recognized the baraid infront of him. Well, well… talk about desperate measures…
"Actually, you did. You know how you said there'd be a new boy? Well, that's no boy-" "I see", the lean teen smirked, brushing a pine coloured lock of hair away from his face as realization hit him. This was going to be so much fun. And it was all because of Ed, for he was sure this was him..
"Hey, shrimp" the sin murmered, leaning way over his desk, and prodded the boy with his pencil in the back. He grinned as the gold haired lads head shot up in shock. Ah, yes, this was definitely O'Chibi san. "What's your name?" he murmered.
Ed felt anger wash over him, missing the last part as he whipped around to face the other student, gold eyes flashing with anger. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THEY COULD USE FROGS AS HORSES!" anger was etched into the young boys- or, as the boys thought, the 'Hot Blond Girl'-'s face as he glared at- his eyes widened as he stumbled back, hitting a couple desks and literally scattering papers all around him, stepping on peoples feet as he tripped, landing on his back. Many boys tried to use this opportunity to gain points with 'her' as they scrambled to help 'her' up, but Ed sent them an angry glare that made them stop, and, if he could have, literally dead, in their tracks. .
"E- ENVY!" Eyes narrowed and he flipped to his feet, ready to slice the homunculi up as he glared angrily at –
"Edo-chan?" the homunculi was much better at acting then Ed, and quickly came up for a reason for such an act- he lept up, grinning in a psychotic way, then glomped the boy, hugging Edward tight to him. To everyone elses eyes, the Hot Blond Girl and the Freaky Green Bully had hugged. – Envy did not know about that nickname, and most probably have beaten the shit out of the first person that called him that in hearing distance of him.
"Oh, Edo-chan!" he shook the alchemist back and forth, the way some lovers do, until the struggling Ed began to feel sick. The was an malicious look in the sins eyes, though Edward was the only one that could see it. Envy then pushed him away, feeling a odd feeling of happiness at the confusion and panic in his, yes his, chibi's eyes. The green haired sin had a hard time not laughing. Well, really, if Edward had wanted to avoid me, he should have thought up a better disguise then that! It gave me such an opportunity! Edward, however, was trying not to scream, panic, or attack the Homunculi, cheeks flushing a dark red.
Envy had almost received a punch in the stomach, but the lithe teen was already back in his seat, smirking up at Ed-wena, and he propped his long , and in his opinion, hot legs on his desk and leaned back in his chair, glad he was in the back of his row.
Full Metal, however, unable to hide his animosity for the homunculi, was flushed yet again, for many different reasons. "What- Did- You – Think –You –Were – Doing!" the petite alchemist snapped. The sin grinned in an insane way at the young teenage prodigy, but didn't reply, instead just sat there, looking satisfied as he watched Ed-wena fume.
It was then the boy in girls clothing noticed his surroundings- one desk toppled over, a few chairs scattered, many students gaping at the two- Envy, though, didn't mind, if anyone complained about him, he'd just beat the fuck out of them. The Psychotic boy then leaned back to watch the show, and 'The Blond Hot Girl', as some of the bi's and lesbians, and most of the boys had dubbed him. Ed-wena began to pick up the few fallen chairs and other such victims of Envy's enthusiasm.
The males in the class room watched avidly as she bent over, trying to catch sight of her panties, but to no avail- though one student commented he could have sworn he had seen the edge of a pair of black short shorts against the girls tights. The rumor network, now back in session in the first period of school, spread rumors of rape, stripping, pregnancy, and the mysterious 'Blond stripper girl'.
Finnally he had finished cleaning, and, flicking his gold barraid behind his shoulder, sat wearily down at his desk like the rest of the class. Soon, he found out that there was a reason this class did not have a name, because he found himself jotting down notes about nothing. Flinching from time to time, namely every time he heard Envy move, the slightest rustle of cloth- Of course Edwards not paranoid. Wherever would you get that silly idea?- As the gold haired boy infront of him finished up his notes, the sins trademark smirk appeared. This was going to be interesting.
Next, was drama. Envy knew this- Edward did not. Oh, but he knew all of the chibi alchemists classes, thanks to how swift he was. And, thanks to how clever he was, and how hot.. oh, how the list could go on. But, anyways, after a bit of clever snooping- after all, they had wanted to know why that woman had entered Central. Another thing the catlike homunculi knew- Ed did not have a schedule. After ripping the paper in his hands to many different pieces he tossed them in the garbage on the way out of the classroom, then strided after the one he wanted.
Sorry for the extremely short update, that's all I can do for now! Gomen-sai, please forgive?
Thank you for reading my first chapter. Please review, I'll luv you forever- and So will Envy! Eeeeennnvvyyyyy!
Envy: What the heck? Who are you? Get off me!
