Geordi already had the wall panel open and several tools lying about when Data joined him. "I think I've found your program, Data. It's in there pretty good, too."
"There is no way of stopping the program?" he queried.
The chief engineer looked away from the console he was working on. "Not as far as I can tell. Take a look and see if there's anything you can do with it."
"Okay." Data took LaForge's place and studied the information before him. Sighing, he truly felt guilty about what his study of comedy had caused. He punched a few commands into the keypad, and turned back to his friend. "It cannot be stopped; however, the program is progressing faster now."
Geordi studied him for a moment. "Data, are you okay?"
He looked down for a moment before answering. "I think so, Geordi. I am hopeful the Commander and Counselor are not injured because of me."
LaForge smiled and gave a friendly pat on Data's shoulder. "I'm sure they've gotten out of worse cases. I wouldn't worry too much." His gaze went back to the wall panel. "What's that?"
Data turned back and read the information scrolling on the small screen. "It appears all of the programs have melded together." He changed out a couple of the isolinear chips and keyed some more commands. "I believe we should keep watch on this panel until Commander Riker and Counselor Troi emerge. The program is continually changing and must be updated in order to keep it moving toward the end."
"Okay," Geordi stroked his beard. "How long do you think they'll be?"
"Unknown. They have been in there for 10.85 hours now. The movies were no longer than two and one half hours." Data glanced back at the display. "It appears they are near the ending of the movie, The Holy Grail. It would be a guess that they would finish it in the next 3-4 hours, possibly longer if it runs into the other movies."
Geordi whistled. "That's a long time in the holodeck."
"Indeed." A thought came to him, "Perhaps I can erase the other programs, possibly eliminating the odds of that happening." Data took one of the tools Geordi had and began his attempt at clearing some of the programs.
Blue and yellow sparks flew from the console and a male voice came from the console from which Data was working. When it started again, it was a male voice speaking. His brow furrowed as he listened.
"…leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! The Fir! The Larch! The Redwood! The mighty Scots Pine! With my best girl at my side, we'd sing, sing, sing!"
The song continued as Geordi asked, "What is that?"
Data laughed some, "It is The Lumberjack Song! Is it not funny?"
"Sure, but could you turn the volume down?"
"Oh, yes. One moment." He reached in and tried to turn the music off from the keypad. The song stopped, but was replaced by a loud squeal, followed by another song…
Spam, spam, spam, spam
"Oh dear." Data reached in again, and pulled out the wires connecting to the speakers. Thankfully, the noise stopped.
Slowly, he turned back toward LaForge, sporting an apologetic smile.
The chief engineer just shook his head.
Will came back into the cavern with an armful of wood. Using a torch that just happened to be on the cave wall, he made a campfire.
"This has been quite an adventure so far, hasn't it?" he asked, taking a seat close to the small blaze.
Deanna settled beside him. "It has. Part of me keeps waiting for Q to show up."
"I know!" Riker laid his arm across her shoulders. "At least we finally have some 'alone' time." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, and Deanna started to giggle. "What's so funny?"
"I was just thinking about what I saw earlier today while you and the others were looking for a shrubbery." She couldn't hold in her mirth as she told him the rest. "This guy was trying to show some other men how to defend themselves from people armed with fruit!"
Joining in her laughter, Will rubbed his hand over his face. "I bet that was something to see!"
"You have no idea!" Troi wiped away a few happy tears as she continued, "In fact, he tried to get me to assist him in demonstrating how to defend yourself from someone armed with a banana!"
"Now THAT'S something vital to know!" Riker smiled mischievously at her. "Especially if you're a beautiful woman." He pulled Deanna onto his lap.
Deanna didn't resist. In fact, she welcomed the action, saying as she leaned forward. "You can attack me with your banana any day!"
Will captured her mouth in a loving, sensuous kiss.
Then, the ground shook.
Both were frozen, unsure what they should do.
With a loud boom, another tremor ran through the ground.
Deanna got out of Riker's lap, allowing him to stand. "Wait here," he said, and snuck to the cavern entrance as the earth quaked again. She could feel his disbelief at the sight before him.
On the horizon, the sun and two clouds, all sporting a pair of legs, were jumping up and down, shaking the ground as they landed!
He watched them for a little while and jumped slightly when Deanna stepped up beside him. "What do you make of that?"
She shrugged and traced his jaw line with her finger. "They're so far off, I'm not worried."
"Well," he replied, "I guess I won't worry about it either. Where were we, anyway?"
Deanna woke with a start. Sitting bolt upright, she scanned the empty area around her. A wave of relief came over her when she saw Will appear from the far end of the cavern they'd slept in.
"Good morning," he said, smiling brightly at her. "Sleep well?"
"As best as possible, given the fact I slept on the ground," she sighed, feeling of her tangled hair. She couldn't wait to get out of this holodeck fantasy.
"I scouted around a bit, and there's an opening not too far from here." Will helped Deanna stand, "I have a feeling we're supposed to go out that way."
"Okay," she dusted off her skirt some and looked up to Riker. "Let's go, then. I'm ready for my own bed."
Will laid his arm across her shoulders. "Rabeem, Imzadi."
The two traveled through the cave without incident. It wasn't long before they approached the opening Will had found earlier.
Treading carefully, Riker stepped out and looked around. "It seems okay, Deanna. Come on."
Troi followed him out onto the high ledge that led from the cavern. She approached the edge and glanced down. The shelf they were on was several hundred meters high. Turning, she met Will's gaze.
He gave a bemused smirk. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to see where this ledge goes."
"Sounds good to me," she answered, watching the way his blue tunic played across his broad shoulders as he walked away.
It wasn't long before they caught the first glimpse of a bridge and a man in a suit standing nearby.
Will stopped to face Deanna. "There's another one. What do you think will happen next?" he questioned.
Laughing, she answered, "I have no idea. In fact, as crazy as things have been so far, I don't think I could imagine anything close to what will happen."
"Good point," he said and strode toward the bridge keeper.
He waved as Riker approached, then offered his hand. "Hello, friends. I am Sir George Head. I suppose you'd like to cross one of the Bridges of Death?"
Will ignored part of what the man said as he shook both of his hands. "Yes, we'd like to cross the bridge."
"Good, good," Sir George said as he reached to shake Deanna's hands. "There are four of you, right?"
Riker glanced back at Troi. "Um… no, there are only two of us."
The man stopped for a moment, then covering his right eye, he scanned Will up and down, then did the same to Deanna. "I see. Right, that changes things a bit." He paused again, clearly unsure of what to do next. "Right… well, would you still like to cross one of the Bridges of Death?"
Deanna spoke up this time, "I don't understand what you mean. There is only one bridge!"
Looking slightly to the left of Troi, he answered, "No there's not! There are TWO bridges! I've been here for years, and there has always been two bridges!"
Will stomped his foot slightly and looked down with a bemused look on his face. He faced the man again. "Take another look, Mr. Head. There is only one bridge, and Deanna and I would really appreciate it if you would allow us to cross it!"
"I could've sworn…" George turned toward the bridge and covered his right eye again. The bridgekeeper uncovered and covered his eye several times while looking at the flimsy structure. "I see… well, this changes things a bit." He smiled weakly at Will and Deanna. "So… you'd like to cross?"
"YES! Please!" Riker exclaimed.
He stepped to the side. "Okay, but first you must pay for an argument -- FOUR arguments."
"Pay for an argument? What do you mean?" Deanna asked.
"You must each pay for an argument before crossing the bridges of death." Head pulled out a notepad and a pen and scribbled onto the paper. "So, there are four of you… Right. I need to know how long of an argument you'd like, and which bridge you want to cross."
Riker was getting very frustrated with this man. "Where do you keep getting the number four? There are two of us!"
"I'm not playing your mind games, my lad," he answered, "There are four of you, and if you want to cross over, you'll do as you're told!"
Will regarded the man for a moment. "Aren't we having an argument now?"
"Why, yes, we are!" The bridge keeper's eyes widened. With a loud bang, Sir George Head was launched into the air and fell into chasm of rocks below.
Riker took Deanna's hand and led her onto the bridge, "That was almost too easy!" Carefully, they crossed the rickety old bridge.
As they stepped once again onto solid ground, Will turned to give her a hand. "Thanks," she said.
He smiled, glad it was just the two of them again. "No problem. I don't know about you, but I'm ready for this to be over."
"Me too." She brushed her hair off her shoulders. "We've been in here for some time. I would think the end would come very soon."
"Yeah." Will stopped, hearing some shuffling coming from the bushes. "I think we have company again."
He barely got the words out when a bunch of old ladies dressed in black and carrying huge purses jumped out of the surrounding foliage and attacked Riker.
"What the--?" he said as he went down.
The women really didn't harm him, but he couldn't quite defend himself again the barrage of purses hitting him on the head and where ever else they landed.
Will covered his face and tried to remain still through the onslaught continued. He hoped Deanna was okay.
He heard some kind of engine coming toward them, which seemed to trigger the ladies to stop beating him and run off.
"Are they gone?" he asked, his voice muffled from being face-down in the dirt.
Deanna walked over to help him up. "Yes, they're gone. Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he replied as he sat up, dusting the dirt out of his hair and clothes.
She laughed, "You have to admit, you probably had that one coming after your years of being 'Will the Thrill.'"
Riker gave her a smirk as he stood up.
An old ground car drove up to them, bringing up a cloud of dust in it's wake. Three men jumped, dressed as policemen, jumped out and began chasing the women, eventually catching them.
The men handcuffed the ladies, pushed them into the car, and drove off.
Riker and Troi watched the car as it disappeared into the distance.
"Do you think that's it?" she asked.
Will looked down at her. "I don't know," he said. "Computer! End program!"
The landscape dissolved, leaving the familiar black and yellow grid of the holodeck.
Will was the first to speak. "Well, after THAT adventure, I'm not sure if I want to go inside another holodeck again!"
"I agree," said Deanna, "Why don't we start having our romantic picnics and such in our quarters?"
"That's a good plan, if I ever heard one!" He smiled and placed his arm around her shoulders. "Let's get out of here."
The doors hissed open and they were surprised to see Captain Picard and the others outside waiting, and the circuitry exposed on one of the walls.
Will's brow furrowed, "Captain? Is there something wrong?"
The captain shook his head. "No, Number One, not anymore. You and the Counselor just fixed everything."
Deanna questioned, "We did? How?"
Data stood and answered her, "By finishing the program. The malfunctions you experienced were caused from the holochip I had. When I activated it, corrupted messages were sent throughout the ship, and most of it concentrated in the holodeck." The android looked a bit bewildered, "I am sorry."
"It's okay, Data." Riker gave a meaningful glance to Deanna. "Now that it's all over, I think we actually had a great time! Nothing we'd want to repeat, but a great time."
Deanna cuddled up next to Will as they watched Geordi and Data finished placing the covering on the panel. LaForge tapped in a few commands into the keypad then commanded, "Computer, run a level three diagnostic on holodeck ----"
They all fell into a fit off laughter when the computer answered, "Ni! Ni!"
Data's face actually turned a shade of dark gold. "I suppose not all the malfunctions were corrected. I shall start on that immediately… in Engineering." He turned and walked toward the nearest turbolift.
THE END
