CHAPTER THREE- FREAK OUT TIME

This chapter contains scenes of Edward freaking out because this whole story makes no sense. I lost half my chapter, so please don't blame me for the size, I'll fix it up later, I swear. I'm sorry to those who are confused. If, in the reviews, andyone asks me what just happened in the last chapter, I will gladly explain.

Envy stuck his tongue out at the Colonel from behind the drama teachers shoulder, in one of his more childish gestures. He then turned back to the drama teacher, and began to spin a tale that would hold the teachers attention- and persuade him- and it did. Boy, were humans stupid. Even his Edo-kun. Glancing towards the very confused blonde, he grinned, reveling in how easy it was to get the blond off of track.

Mr. Slutconna and it had returned, and the freak of nature looked as if he were trying not to laugh its head off. Recognizing the evil look in the palm trees eyes, Roy flinched. Just once, but that was enough for the sin to know he had unnerved the great Flame alchemist. Who knew, the great 'Brigader General' was scared of a simple play. Oh, of course both Edward and Envy knew that Roy had been promoted, but neither would acknowledge it.

Mr. Slutconna opened his mouth to announce whatever he and the homunculi had agreed apon, but as soon as he had, the bell wrang. The hated bell. Bringer of Hell. The one item which made all scream in frustration. And in that moment, all Roy felt about that bell was relief. An intense, profound, relief. Which vanished, when he noticed Edward, of his own accord, Walk up to the freak.

He was not wanting to do this, Edward acknowledged to himself, fully aware of the possible physical damage that would insue if he went through with this, which he knew by prior experience- i.e last period. But he, had learnt ,from Colonel Shit the day before, that if you were late for three classes, you would have to stay after school, and would get a single black mark. Biting his bottom lip, he drew a breath in, then let it out. Ok. This was the last time he'd ever ask Envy for a favor, but since his schedule had gone mysteriously missing…

"Will you please help me get to my next subject?" the chibi questioned through gritted teeth. Thought he'd much rather just get lost, that wouldn't be an option if he wanted to get through this school year. The sin arched a brow at him, very, very tempted to say no. Edward had left him all alone all period, and had even dared ignore him! He had forced him to go through great lengths just so they could stay together! He was feeling very, very, annoyed. Suddenly, his trade mark grin twisted his lips as he leaned down, and whispered into his Edo's ear. Edward went white, and the sin whispered again. Whatever he had said to the blond chibi made him give a short nod.

This occurrence caused many of the people in the hall – they had walked outside of the classroom and were headed down the hallway when this occurred. Many girl giggled, coming up with their own explanations for the sudden exchange, as the girl suddenly smiled brightly up at the transversite, though it seemed a bit forced, and, after an inquisitive look at her, he slipped an arm around her shoulder, leading her in the opposite direction.

Roy gazed with shock at the wall infront of him. How- how – how had – what had just happened! One minute Full Metal was… yelling at the creature, and now he was- he was- flirting! Oh, Edward Elric would be getting hell over this. Suddenly he realized he had to get to class, and hurried off to music, in which he spent the entire period fantasizing about a certain gold haired teenagers ass.

The Humunculious was humming. Yes, humming. But what was currently bothered this alchemist wasn't exactly that he was humming- it was what this sin was humming. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or go into shock. Because what Envy was singing, was the hated song. Was the song that made some quiver in fear- oh, yes, it was the BARNEY SONG. If it hadn't been for their deal, Edward would have run from the class room, but that was not an option. So he settled for inching his desk away from the one beside him. There was one other reason he wouldn't run- He didn't want to risk his skirt flipping up, as well. Normally, he wouldn't have, either, but it wouldn't have been as traumatized if it had happened here. It wasn't exactly because of any reason, but more like a person.

YET ANOTHER FLASHBACK

Half an hour ago

Ed and Envy were hustled into class by some random man, whom they found out later was the art teacher. A second later, the man slammed the door shut behind him, and introduced himself as the art teacher. Then opened his mouth, about to scream his head off at them for being late.

"Lovely," a well known sin remarked, "So tell me, are all teachers in this school as mentally challenged as you are?" He was about to receive the brunt of the yelling, when the teacher noticed the boys figure. And how cute the girl beside the boy was.

" Yes, Yes, That's of no matter- Since you two are girls, I'll let you off the hook." They gaped. Did he just call Envy- a girl! Actually, Edward wasn't that surprised, but the emerald haired teen was. Not wanting to get a detention, the chibi was quick to drag the homunculi to a set of seats, and sit them down. They then learnt that all art class consisted of was how to draw women. So Envy went off to never never land, and Ed, being a good little student, actually listened.

The terms had been this-

Envy- I will help you catch up, and help you get to your different classes until you know them by heart, if you do this.

Ed- What.

Envy- You have to pose as my girlfriend.

Ed-HECK NO!

Envy- Want me to add lunch?

Ed- …..

Envy: Hmmm?

Ed: FINE!

END OF FLASHBACK.

Edward now realized that had been a completely useless agreement, since he could have just gotten a copy from Roy. After realizing this, the blonde then proceeded to smash his head against the desk, thinking like a mantra, stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid- but then was snapped out of his mantra-ing by Mr.Dreco's next statement-

"And now, we shall be drawing naked women." Glancing to the side, Edward noticed the amythist eyed sin now gazing avidly at the teacher. Ed felt his cheeks heat up, and many of the less sluttish girls in the class suddenly came up with an mysteriously contagious case of diahria, and had to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, Edward, who had no idea where the washrooms were, could not use this excuse, so was left staring at a piece of blank paper. Oh, he had been listening to the lesson, but there was no way in hell he would draw a naked woman.

Envy, however, slipped a pencil out from somewhere, most likely from thin air, since he's cool like that (L.o.l, sorry, couldn't resist) and began to scetch the shape of a body which oddly resembled the he-she beside him, who was quick to tear his gaze away from the picture. Shit.

ALLRIGHT, I ADMIT IT.This is one of the worst chapters so far. But hey, don't blame me! Blame Envy!

Envy: What! Why me

Ed: Dunno. Oooh, look at that mascara.

Roy: Smirk. Looks like you are a girl after all, Edward

Ed: It's the skirt! The skirt warps your mind!