The corridors leading up to the royal wing had all been decorated, and dwarrows walking about were all laughing and talking very animatedly. It appeared everyone was in the mood for celebrating except Shobha. This was her last night with them, and she hadn't said a proper goodbye to anyone. She should have been happily anticipating her return really. These feelings didn't make sense.
Balin, and Dwalin had decided to walk her over to Thorin's study. They hadn't explained why she was being guided there, but fully expected it was to see Gandalf as promised. They had walked in silence for what felt like an eternity, and then stopped in front to the large study doors, turning to face her.
"Well lass, we'll let you go through," Balin finally said with a sad smile.
"Will you be alright lass…?" Dwalin asked placing a hand on her shoulder with the faintest glisten to his eyes suggesting tears.
She threw her arms around them both, hugging them. "Akminruk zu nadad… I don't know whether I am ready to go back just yet…" She could only manage to get a whisper out, as she stifled the tears.
"You are always our namadith, whatever you decide." They hugged her back, and then when she was ready released her to turn and walk through the large doors.
Inside the fire was starting to die down, the two of them were seated in solemn silence facing the fire in two large armchairs, puffing fragrant tobacco smoke from their pipes. Hearing her enter, they both rose from their seats turning to greet her.
Gandalf was indeed a very tall man, dressed in long grey robes, with a wispy grey bread and matching long grey hair. He smiled warmly with her, blue eyes twinkling, but there was a curiosity about him. Thorin suddenly seemed much smaller in comparison, but was still very regal, he gave her a tentative smile, trying to read her face better and gestured for her to sit in his chair.
"You must be Shobha," Gandalf said placing a hand on her shoulder. Shobha suddenly felt much calmer, was he casting a spell? She nodded and she took the seat Thorin offered. He stood next to her, and suddenly she was grateful for his strong presence. Gandalf was not intimidating, but there was so much to ask, she didn't know where to start.
"I can see you have many questions for me, my dear..?" He spoke, eyes twinkling as if he read her mind.
After describing how she arrived, which he listened to quietly without asking any questions, she explained about how their story was written.
"But quite a few things appear to be different to the legend that I have read…"
"Do not take your legend to be the absolute foresight – that would be most foolish child." He stiffened. "This is why our wisest Lady Galadriel only speaks of possibilities, as even the slightest event, such as a delay in time can result in a completely different future."
"But –"
"Your being here will already have changed many things, and will set about changing more of the future, from what you may have heard.."
"Why would I have been transported here Gandalf?"
"Well my dear, the Valar have in their wisdom decided to bring you here for a reason. It will be for us to see what that is in time."
"So am I not going home tonight?" She looked at him, she was overcome with a variety of feelings.
"I cannot send you back my dear, but I think it wise to remain a bit longer to see why you are meant to be here? What it is, that the Valar felt the need to bring you to Arda for… and specifically Erebor"
She paused for a second to clear her head and think.
"So do you think I am here to help Erebor and the Dwarves?" She asked.
"Hmmm… I'm not sure." He shrugged.
"Why did you work so hard to help reclaim Erebor in the first place Gandalf?" She asked softly, although she thought she knew the answer.
"It will be an important stronghold, with the dwarves united, for the future, as darkness tries to spread." He looked at her closely. "But then you knew that already, my dear."
"But the dwarves have not united…" she interjected.
"Perhaps they will in time."
"And what about Bilbo.. did he find the ring in the goblin tunnels?"
"That is not to be discussed any further!"
"But are you sure it is safe…?" She asked softly.
"It is safe where it is," he shot her a warning glance. "So long as no one speaks of it – do not think me so foolish that I do not notice!"
"But what about –"
"I think it best if we don't discuss your foreknowledge, and you should not disclose this to anyone else either… And now it is best that I leave." He stood and bowed. "I look forward to seeing you again soon. I will discuss your matter of returning home with others who may be more capable than I, and return with more news in time."
"But Gandalf… please I have so many questions…"
"And don't leave Erebor – our true friends grow few… In any case you have a most willing host and protector here." Winking at her, he patted her on the shoulder and stooped through the doorway of Thorin's study disappeared into the now dark corridor. She couldn't help feeling like he was avoiding talking to her.
Shobha sat there staring into the fireplace, while Thorin watched the golden light dance across her face. She wavered between being relieved that she would have a little more time with them, to feeling guilty that she could not reassure her family that she was safe and unhurt. Then finally she looked up at Thorin, once again glad for his strong and silent presence. He looked back at her questioning, and she nodded to reassure him that she was ok.
"We will miss Gandalf's famous fireworks if we do not hurry," Thorin extended his hand to her. "I have the perfect place to watch.." With that he led her to his terrace in the royal wing, that he had last found her crying on.
When they reached the terrace, the fireworks had already begun. And they were spectacular! Colourful flowers, shooting stars and whirls filled the dark night sky. Within a few moments, a large heavy coat with fur lining landed on her shoulders. She looked at him, and he gave her a soft smile.
"Its cold, and you will catch a chill… Besides, it will remove the temptation for anyone looking to place their hand on the exposed skin of your back."
She clutched the warm coat pulling the front together tightly, and inhaled the smell of fragrant tobacco and vetiver. It was comforting. He watched her as she clung to his coat, wrapping herself tightly, as though she wanted him wrapped around her.
"Thank you," she chuckled back. "But I suppose it depends on who exactly would be looking to place their hand in such a way.." His eyebrows shot up: Mahal! Was she actually suggesting that she liked his touch on her naked skin? She quickly looked away as another bunch of fireworks whizzed into the air.
"Thorin," she continued looking away. "You heard what I mentioned about the ring… Would you not wish to use it yourself?"
He gasped at the mention of it. "The One Ring?! No! It can only bring misery. It is best lost to the ages."
"What about your clan's ring of power?"
"It was lost with my father." He looked into the distance, his face turning unreadable again. "They only enhance our natural tendency to covet and hoard treasure.. I have enough to contend with the Arkenstone. I have no need for it."
So the books were correct. The dwarves were far less corruptible than men or elves. Perhaps Gandalf was correct in leaving the ring with the hobbits, who equally had little desire for anything more than good food, a comfortable home, the shire and song and dance.
"I am still uncertain what part I have to play in this..?" she said, despondent again. "And yet I am not sure how I could go back and carry on as I did before this…" She suddenly felt completely lost – going back did not seem like the correct option, but she wasn't sure how to go forward either.
He cupped her chin gently in his large calloused hand, hoping it would reassure her.
"Whatever it is, I will help you: You came to us that first day lost, and now I realise, how I must help you." He swam in her deep dark eyes. How he wished to hold her tight, and kiss away her worry. "Your burden will become mine to share.."
"It is difficult as things appear to have changed and may continue to do so… and certain battles that may be yet to come." She looked uncertain, how much could she tell him? How much of it would even be relevant and would it change things? The fellowship, that would set off to protect Frodo that would lead to Aaragorn taking his rightful place as King, Arwen remaining to become his queen, the bond formed between Gimli and Legolas. And then she remembered the tomb found in Moria of Balin, and the Balrog..
"There is time for some of the events that are described.. But you must promise me not to allow Balin to try and reclaim Khazad Dum…" she looked serious.
"Yes, but may I ask why?" He didn't want to force her to speak if she did not feel comfortable. But he couldn't help himself from staring at her full lips as she spoke Khuzdul words. She appeared to have learnt how sacred their language was to them, and gave it the respect and reverence it required. He was amazed at how rapidly she had become accustomed to their culture. "You need not tell me if you do not wish it. I will understand."
"The Goblins and the Balrog still dwell there.."
"Durin's bane!" He drew a sharp breath in.
"Gimli, goes on a quest to destroy the ring, and they pass through Khazad Dum, where they find a tomb marked Balin son of Fundin." She trailed off looking pained and Thorin took her hand in his to reassure her.
"Of course – But what of Gloin's son?" He asks still concerned. "Should he not be warned..?"
"No.. he escapes fine. They have Gandalf with them at the time." She grasps his hand tighter, as if to reassure herself. "Gimli must make the journey." He seemed to understand.
"And the dwarves must unite…" she didn't want to continue to describe the siege by the Easterlings, where Erebor is defended by Thorin Stonehelm. How could she bring herself to mention that Thorin and the Princes had fallen in battle according to the version of events she had read. She found him still holding her hand, his eyes piercing into hers, searching. Then he reached out and wrapped his arms around her as she cried once more.
"Its ok… you need not say anything more." He pressed his face into her hair as he held her, smelling the scent of summer flowers. "We can take things as they come…"
He planted a soft kiss on her head. He loved the feel of her hair, and wondered how it would be to braid it. Dis and Bifur alone had the honour so far. The fireworks had ended, and the dwarves that had gathered outside of the Great Gates were now trickling back in. The two of them stood in silence. Holding her tightly in the dark like this for such a long time was starting to have its effect on Thorin's body again, so he finally pulled away very slightly. He was troubled by these reactions – he had never felt such lust usually, and certainly not since he had been a developing dwarf!
"Let us get you back to your room, Shobha. You need some rest now…"
