Scene XXVIII: Two weeks later, the Premiere on a Saturday afternoon.
Drake and Jen have decided to be movie buddies. Not all the time, but whenever the mood struck them. Jen liked hanging out with Drake now that they came to a mutual understanding. He enjoyed it too. It was like having an older sister for him; something he's never experienced before.
Walking out of theater 7, Jen heads for the ladies' room while Drake waits outside. The latest kids movie just let out, and he hears a familiar voice.
Neal: Drake! Hey! Which movie did you see? Are you on a date?
Drake: Oh, hey. I just saw the new Ashton Kutcher movie.
Neal: Cool! Did you actually watch the movie?
Drake: Neal, what are you trying to get out of me?
Neal: Come on, you know? You love taking girls to the movies because it's dark and it's a great place to make out.
Drake: Well, for your information, little man, I do enjoy seeing movies with friends too. I'm not all about making out with girls all the time.
Neal: So, you weren't on a date this afternoon?
Drake: I was hear with a girl. Actually a woman. But it was not a "date".
Neal: Whoa! A woman? You gotta teach me how to get one of those.
Drake: You know what? You and I need to have a talk.
Drake leads Neal by the back of his neck to one of the tables at the food court. Drake's going to settle this once and for all. This little shit who made advances on his little sister and made her upset was going to learn how the "real world" worked.
At that moment, Jen exits the rest room, and looks around for Drake. She sees him sitting and talking with a young boy. From the look on his face, Drake doesn't look happy. She decides not to interfere, and goes to check out the movie posters on the wall.
Drake: Neal, there's something you need to know about girls. About women, too.
Neal engages with him with eager anticipation. Another pearl of wisdom from the Casanova of Belleview himself!
Neal: Man, I should have brought a pen and some paper to write this down.
Drake: It's not like that. See, what I told you about girls a few months ago. Well, it wasn't a good thing to do.
Neal: Why not? I've gotten 3 girls to kiss me! I would have had 4, but….
Drake: Let me guess, she said no, right?
Neal: Well, yeah.
Drake: And I don't blame her in the least. She was my sister! My BABY SISTER!
Neal: Megan told you? Man, that girl can't keep her lips shut!
Drake gets face to face with Neal and looks at him as sternly as possible without scaring the piss out of him. He can feel his face turning red.
Drake: What I told you about girls was wrong. You don't charm them to get them to make out with you. It's the most selfish thing anyone can do. Girls want to talk to a guy. They want to get to know him. They don't need a two hour makeout session at the movies to enjoy his company. Sometimes sharing a soda and some pizza and laughing is just as good. Sometimes it's more fun than making out. Got it?
Neal: You're joking, right? You can't be serious.
Drake: I am serious. Listen to me. I'm only going to say this once. Your moves are going to get you in some serious trouble someday. I'm not going to say when or in what context, but it's going to happen. And you're gonna regret every second of it. Now, I want you to rethink what I've just told you. I'm not telling you to change, but I'm just suggesting that it is the best possible route for you now. You don't want to get a reputation before even getting into middle school. Understand?
Neal feels Drake's seriousness over this topic, and slowly nods his head. He doesn't know if he should trust Drake's opinion, or be completely terrified because he did this to his little sister. Neal gets up from the table and quickly exits the theater to find his mom.
Jen is standing with her back against the wall observing the entire exchange. She's not going to pounce on Drake right away. He sat there at the table for a couple of minutes digesting what he just said to young Neal. He gets up and walks towards her.
Jen: You ok? You look like you're mad.
Drake: I'm not mad. I ran into that kid Neal, the one that put the moves on Megan? The one that called her a lesbian because she wouldn't fall for him? Well, I set him straight. At least I hope I did. I didn't want him to think I was going to come down on him just for what he did to her. I think that he needed to hear that what I did was wrong, and there's a right way to charm the ladies.
Jen: "Charm the ladies"?
Drake: Sorry. Wrong choice of words. I don't know what I'm trying to say.
Jen: You don't have to. It's ok. You know what, Drake Parker?
Drake: Yeah?
Jen: You're pretty smart for a guy failing almost every subject.
Drake: Gee, thanks! Do I get a gold star for this?
Jen: No, not a gold star. But you get this!
Jen gets him in a headlock and immediately begins applying strong noogies. He tries to wrestle himself from her clutches, and eventually succeeds. They end up laughing until tears are streaming down their faces. It was a perfect light moment to end the afternoon.
