6
Scene XXX: Wednesday morning, at the office of Dr. Lawrence Greenberg
Jen sat in the waiting room. As usual, Dr. Greenberg was running 10 minutes behind. But, she had nowhere else to go, so she didn't mind. She leafed through an old copy of Architectural Digest, glancing at the pictures of the mini Taj Mahals that Malibu had to offer. It must be nice to live like this, she thought to herself. Maybe one day she would be standing in the gourmet kitchen of one of these houses, preparing for a family holiday dinner. Maybe that would be the key to her happiness.
Dr. Greenberg opens the door and smiles.
Dr. Greenberg: Jen. Come on in. Sorry I'm running behind.
Jen: It's ok. You're the only plans I have today.
Dr. Greenberg: Well, glad that you understand. Have a seat.
He motions to the black leather couch against the olive green wall at the south end of his office. Behind the couch hung his many diplomas and credentials. This wall is known as the "Ego Wall" in the professional world. Where one can gaze at all the accomplishments he/she has amassed over the years and remind themselves how great they truly are. Jen has always wanted one of those. But her accomplishments couldn't be measured in how many diplomas she collected.
Jen: So…
Dr. Greenberg: So… how has this last week been for you?
Jen: Ok, I guess. Things seem to be getting back to normal at home.
Dr. Greenberg: And what is defined as normal?
Jen: Wow, you like to get right into it, don't you?
Dr. Greenberg: Would you rather spend this time chit chatting about nothing? I can do that too, if you want. But it's your dime.
Jen: No thank you. Huh… what is "normal"? That's a tough question.
Dr. Greenberg: Well, do your best.
Jen: Ok… Nothing out of the ordinary's been happening. Life in the house is going along as planned or as close to as planned as it can be. The kids are in school. Audrey and Walter are at work. We eat dinner together for the most part. The boys have their social lives. Megan has her sports and her music lessons. Audrey and Walter go play Canasta every Saturday night with their friends. I guess that's pretty normal.
Dr. Greenberg: Ok, I'll buy that. But there's a problem in what you just said.
Jen: How do you mean?
Dr. Greenberg: You mentioned Drake, Josh, Megan, Audrey and Walter. I heard nothing about you. Where are you in this equation?
Jen thought to herself. Where was she in this equation?
Jen: Well, I try to maintain myself as incognito as I can.
Dr. Greenberg: Why? Don't you participate in family activities?
Jen: Yes. I eat meals with them. I talk to them. Stuff like that.
Dr. Greenberg: But you said incognito. Why did you say that?
Jen: Well, their lives were just fine without me. Then I came along and wreaked havoc. They didn't deserve what I did to them.
Dr. Greenberg: What did you "do to them"?
Jen: You know. I flipped out. I invaded their home and made my problems the focus. If I hadn't done that, they would have never had to deal with me or my problems. It's not fair for them.
Dr. Greenberg: Not fair for them. So you say that if you would have been alone when you "flipped out" as you said, that they would have been fine?
Jen: That's what I'm saying.
Dr. Greenberg: Ok. You're saying that if you were at the beach with the pistol barrel in your mouth, and you did decide to pull the trigger, that they would have been just fine the whole time. Not affected at all?
Jen: Well…. Yes. I guess so.
Dr. Greenberg: I don't understand. Do you believe that you are truly alone in the world. If you're out of sight, you're out of mind.
Jen: Well, how can I think that I'm the center of everyone's universe?
Dr. Greenberg: That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that just because you're not in their lives at that immediate moment that they don't care about you? They don't worry about your wellbeing?
Jen: I don't get it.
Dr. Greenberg: Ok, here's a suggestion. Since you are living under their roof right now, and they are providing you with room and board, and they do seem to care about you, I'd like for them to come in this evening for a family session.
Jen: What? Are you fucking kidding me? No one needs to do that. Thank you for the offer, but I'll have to decline. Is our time up yet?
Dr. Greenberg: No it isn't. I'm merely suggesting that you sit down with the family and listen to what they have to say. I haven't asked them yet; I wanted to get your permission first, but I do recommend that we at least ask them.
Jen: What if they say no? I'll look like an ass.
Dr. Greenberg: Something tells me that they won't say no.
Jen begins to feel tears welling up in her eyes. She wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. The last thing she wanted to do right now was to rehash the recent past. She was doing her best to ignore what happened, and mend whatever rift she has caused in the family. If it weren't for her invading their lives, none of this would have happened.
Dr. Greenberg: What do you say, Jen? Should we give it a shot?
Jen: I don't know yet. May I think about it for a few days?
Dr. Greenberg: Sure. It's up to you. If you truly don't want to do this, I won't pursue it.
Jen and Dr. Greenberg continue the session without further mention of his offer. But during the session, although she was talking about her failed marriage, her mind was elsewhere. How could the family possibly want to sit through a session and talk about what happened? She was scared to death of the possibility of what they would say to her.
The session ended, and Dr. Greenberg confirmed with her her next appointment.
Dr. Greenberg: Ok, Jen. I'll see you next Wednesday at 10. Don't forget my offer. Take your time, but I would like you to think about it. Ok?
Jen: Sure. See you next week, doc.
