The next two weeks had passed in a similar manner. Thorin had been cold and callous towards many in Erebor. Some nobles and workers had already left taking their families.
Shobha had visited him at times, but he had been very restrained, not giving her much time. And they were regularly interrupted by other members of the company. They all seemed to have vivid memories of Thorin attempting to throw Bilbo off the ramparts of Erebor. And although they knew he would never do that to her, they would not even leave room for it. They would die defending her if needed, even against their own King.
Dwalin had insisted on her training even more now, but she had also trained through sheer frustration. And surprisingly Shobha had mastered throwing daggers. Fíli would often joke with Dwalin that her aim matched that of Kili's arrows.
…
That morning Shobha had gathered with Dwalin, Fili and Kíli, as Dis' coaches arrived.
Dis had enthusiastically waved from the carriage for quite a distance as it arrived, and couldn't get out soon enough.
She came running over and gave her sons an enormous hug. Followed by Shobha and Dwalin, who turned completely red and stood back with an openly silly grin on his face, which made Shobha smile just as much.
"Oh you two… Kili, my sweet boy, you look older… and Fili, you look like you are becoming as serious as Thorin." She smiled at them. "Speaking of which, where is my dear grumpy, older brother?"
"Umm.." lost for words Shobha looked at Dwalin.
"In a meeting with Balin and Glóin, I think." Dwalin muttered, still grinning.
"Shobha, dear I am so excited. You two are perfect together! But my dear, you look terribly pale," and then she took a careful look at her. "Oh come now, no secrets between sisters – what are you hiding?"
Then she stood back and gasped. "Oh Mahal! Are you with child?" She whispered.
This of course made them all laugh.
"No Dis!" Shobha rolled her eyes giggling. It was good to laugh after all these last few weeks of worry.
"Well.. You wouldn't be the first Queen to be already carrying a Durin heir on their wedding day!" She chuckled and linked her arm in Shobha's. "Come on, I want to see my brother.. and what is holding him up."
They walked over to the throne room talking about various things. And as they entered, Dis immediately spotted Thorin in formal clothing and at first joked about it, but as she approached closer began to sense the change. He was bathed in the eerie glow of the Arkenstone, which now sat clearly above his throne.
"Thorin," Dis spoke cautiously as she approached.
"What is it now." Thorin halted her with his hand outstretched.
"Are you quite well brother?" She seemed like she had been winded.
"Aye, just tell me what you want from me now, and then we can be done with it quickly." He looked back down at his scroll.
"I ask for nothing from you, brother," Dis put her hands on her hips.
"I have provided enough, you have Thorin's Halls, you have enough to keep you comfortable, I have given your sons high titles, raised them as my own heirs," he stood up and spat out.
"He betrays me," Thorin pointed at Fili. "Manipulates my own Queen on state matters, to side with him over her own husband. And then she slaps me! There you have it: That is all the news in Erebor… Oh and your beardless son has taken an elf for a mistress."
They all gasped for a moment. His words stung like the lash of a whip.
"Thorin!" Dis was completely lost for words. And for the first time that Shobha had ever seen, Dis stood with her mouth agape, looking at her brother.
"If you are unhappy with the state of things here, dear Sister, then go back!"
Shobha spoke up. "We need Dis here, Thorin. And I want her at our wedding… And if we want to have a baby, having her here would help me..."
He walked down the steps from the throne and came to stand close to Shobha, placing a hand under her chin.
"Yes my beautiful Queen.. you are most suited to denying your King, and yet you have given yourself away to plenty of others. Well, woman, there will be no dwarflings if you don't spread your legs for me.. and therefore no need for my sister." He smiled coldly at Shobha.
Shobha, couldn't remain there another moment, tears welling, she turned and left, breaking into a run as she reached the doors.
"My lady!" She heard Zodar in the distance beginning to follow her, with the clang of his armour and his heavy footfall.
Fili, Dwalin, Kili and Dis had followed further behind. Eventually they all piled into Shobha's room. Zodar was sent to get some tea and biscuits for everyone, including himself.
Dis sat on the bed next to Shobha, arm around her, while she sobbed. And Fili, Kili and Dwalin sat around the tray, having biscuits and looking nervous, and taking turns to go for refills.
Apparently no one had told Dis about Thorin's dragon sickness, or any other goings on.
"I just don't know what to do." Shobha eventually said as her sobs began to die away. "In my land people are afflicted by various mental illnesses… not dissimilar to Thorin. And however bad they are, you don't abandon them… they need their loved ones to trust, and talk to. And I feel like I am abandoning him every time."
"Mahal! I think you have managed perfectly." Dis reassured her. "He behaved horrendously, and you are not weak for wanting to stay, nor for leaving him when it gets too much..."
"But there are times when he returns to himself. And it's always around Shobha, Amad." Fili spoke up.
"Aye. Thorin would never forgive himself if he hurt you. It seems that somehow you are part of what he sees as his treasure." Dis concluded. "I suppose it's understandable in some ways. You are probably more important to him than all the treasure of Erebor... He does seem obsessed with having a youngling with you…"
"What happened with his coat lass.." Dwalin was still trying to puzzle over it.
"Nothing…"
"Didn't look like it… he was very upset about it afterwards," Dwalin raised an eyebrow.
"He surprised me and Fili in the kitchen. I made camomile tea. Fíli left. He noticed I wore his tunic. We kissed. Things got a bit heated, I stopped it. He felt bad and covered me up and I ran…Ok?"
"Yeah he was angry at me.." Fíli didn't want to elaborate what Thorin had insinuated. There was no doubt he admired Shobha, and if asked would gladly admit that he hoped Mahal had a similar One planned for him. But he would never take her from Thorin. That WAS madness! "Why were you wearing Uncle's tunic?"
"Because it's the most comfortable of all my nightwear –"
"No. We want to know how you came by his tunic in the first instant?" Kili clarified raising an eyebrow.
"He dressed me in it on the first night I was brought here – I thought you knew.."
They all mouth "Oh" together in reply.
"Mahal's massive dong! He's fancied you for a while then!" Kili grinned.
"Pay up brother…" Fíli held his hand out as Kíli tossed him a small pouch of coins.
"What was that?" Shobha was shocked.
"They've had a wager on it. And I don't know what you're grinning about... What is this I hear about an elf maiden and you?" Dis warned him, as Dwalin clipped Kili around the head for her. "Thank you Dwalin."
"Amad, I know what you think…"
"It's Tauriel isn't it? Ugh one of Thranduil's lot… you kept mentioning her in your ravens..." then she looked at him again. "Oh… my darling! I'm sorry… you really like her then?"
Dis stood and walked to Kili giving him a big hug, tears welling up in her eyes. One of her sons would soon take a wife, and not a dam, but an elf!
"She's wonderful Amad, you'll see.." Kili smiled hugging her back tightly.
"And if she and Legolas hadn't accepted my request for aid…" Shobha shuddered. "And she stayed here until Thorin was recovered."
"Aye, but my eldest son said it was your timely thinking of putting Athelas on his wound that saved him.. and braving it to see that vile Elvenking." Dis smiled. "How did you convince him?"
"I gave him the Lasgalen necklace and gems." She looked down and winced.
"And Thorin didn't lose his breeches over that?!" Dis handed Shobha a mug of tea, and picked up her own.
"Problem was Thranduil healed Uncle before she paid him, and she kept her word anyway." Fili revealed.
"Aye, son but he won't know that."
"Actually, Thorin heard Thranduil speak in Sindarin before they healed him: oh don't worry, I came clean." Shobha looked at her mug.
"The fact that he didn't banish you, clearly is evidence that he is more than enamoured by you." Dis concurred taking a seat near her. "It was wrong how Thrór acquired the gems. But the contract is legal and binding according to our laws. And even though Thorin himself has disagreed with it, he did not return those jewels as it would allow our past laws and contracts to be challenged by others. And as we know Thranduil is not faultless, in all his years of wisdom."
"Well he did say he was unhappy about it…"
"Ooh aye!" She exaggerated mockingly. "If that's all, love, then perhaps you really should be in there warming his bed."
"They almost did Dis," Dwalin laughed thinking of happier times. "They spent all night half clothed on a couch, heavy petting, and then couldn't wake up in the morning! She was late for training, and he missed court! We sent search parties throughout Erebor."
Even Dis hooted laughing, while Shobha blushed, covering her face.
"Hang on, let's go back… what was this wager?"
"Kíli said he thought Uncle favoured you in the first couple of days. After you were cleaned up and resting, when we used to all spend the evening chatting in your room." Fili explained with a warm smile. "I knew the way he carried you back on his own pony it was probably the moment he set eyes on you. But he gifted you his own clothes… that is of great significance. Particularly since Oin could have put you in an infirmary robe like all other patients. Probably not as comfortable as Uncle's tunics though."
"Alright all of you. You've got things to do, so clear off." Dis shooed off the dwarrows. "We have some ladies talking to partake in.. and we haven't finished Kili."
After they had all left she turned to Shobha.
"Come now, we are alone. What are you worried about… what do you believe is going on.."
"Honestly Dis, I feel awful. I want to be there for him but he ends up calling me a whore each time. And becomes overly amorous with me." She looked at Dis. "Its as though the sickness stops him from accepting that I am more than willing to marry him, stand by him and bear his children."
"I believe that he suspects Fili wants you for himself. And we know Fili admires you, and holds you in great regard. But his suspicions and jealousy are all unfounded. Perhaps you just have to show him… but when you are comfortable with it."
"What you mean… have sex?" Shobha whispered, making Dis blush. "Even though he said he wanted to wait…"
"He is being old fashioned. Besides from the way you both danced together on Durin's Day, I would have thought you wanted to be in each other's arms all naked." She chuckled, this time making Shobha blush. "And I expect your desires have grown much more since.. Do you know he thanked me for making you wear that Sari, the day after!"
"And you don't think he would be upset later on…"
"My dear if it cures him… you would have done it for a good cause!" She chuckled, turning red again. "But do you want to Shobha…?"
Shobha blushed and bit her lip, nodding. And then covered her face. There she was confessing to Dis, like they had grown up together as best friends, and worst of all about potentially seducing her own brother!
"Don't be ashamed, my dear. My late husband was not the first dwarrow I experienced pleasures of the flesh with!" She winked. "You just need to do it on your terms… he probably wants to jump you any and every moment he gets.. " She giggled again like a naughty school girl.
"But what if I get pregnant before –"
"So what?! So long as you are happy with that…You will be married in four weeks.. no one will know. And you wont be the first."
"In that case.. there are a few other questions I had?"
They went through a whole raft of questions surrounding dwarven sex, contraception and pregnancy and birth with a dwarf baby. She had been unsurprised to discover that Dwarves were larger than human men in that department, and also had a greater stamina. Even the length of their pregnancies were longer! Unfortunately it also sounded as though, it would take many attempts before getting pregnant, and the chances of having a girl lower still, and hence their population was not very high. It made her wonder about how it would differ given she was a human woman.
...
Later that night, Shobha had fallen asleep, after some reassurance from Dis earlier that day. As she fell asleep, she realised what a huge difference reassurance would make, and intended to try the same with Thorin. She missed him, she needed him. She could only imagine how much he needed her. So what if she got pregnant before their wedding night, if it made him happy..? Perhaps that's what he needed?
…
She stirred to the sound and movement of someone on her bed.
"Shobha.." She heard his deep voice, and could smell the familiar scent of vetiver and tobacco. At first she thought she was dreaming.
He sat on the edge of her bed, brushing his knuckles across her cheek very lightly.
"Thorin?" She breathed him in, her eyes strained awake.
Before she could say anything more, he leant over and planted a soft kiss on her lips.
"I need you… You denied me before, my Queen, as we were not in private… will you deny me again? Now, in the confines of your own room?"
She leant her face into his hand, feeling the touch of his warm calloused skin that she had missed so much. Then leaning across to her side table, turned up the light and sat up to meet him and held his hands. He still looked worn out, with dark circles under his eyes.
"Oh Thorin, you look worn out" Shobha crawled over to be closer to him. She realised her fear of him hurting her was unfounded, he couldn't – she was his One.
"Answer me woman." He spoke sternly, his eyes were dark, and slightly cold.
She sat on her legs, closer to him and reaching out softly touched his face.
"Yes, my King. You can have me freely as you please. I love you." She knelt up and wrapping her hands around his neck kissed him gently. "I want you so badly too."
He responded by kissing her back, this time with more fervour. Then suddenly stopped and pulled back to carefully assess her face as though she were playing some sort of trick on him.
"Spreading you legs for me is not enough." He shrugged off his coat and boots fast sitting on the edge of the bed and began pushing her down into the bed and crawling on top of her. "Will you let me take you until you carry my heir?"
He seemed to be genuinely asking, even though he began to pull her nightgown up running his hands along her legs, making her breath hitch. He still seemed cold, but it appeared that he was listening.
She would meet his coldness with warmth and love. She took his face in her hands and gazing deep into his icy eyes, she kissed him, arching herself to meet his body that was hovering over her, ready to pin her down. And he responded with urgency wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her body to his, while supporting himself with his other arm. They both needed to feel each other desperately.
Then she broke off their kiss and still gazing into his eyes, she spoke softly.
"Thorin, please hear me. I love you. And I really want children with you. Whatever you ask from me, I will freely give you because I love you. I know you would do the same for me. Even if it hurts me, I don't mind, if it will help you become yourself again." She stroked his face gently, looking up at him as she spoke.
He seemed to register her words and froze immediately. His icy stare still holding her big brown eyes, taking them in fully. His expression began to shift from cold to concern. He carefully shifted himself off her.
"You would want me, and not a younger King? One to have children with later, who will remain strong even when I am older and weaker?" Thorin still looked at her uncertain, still questioning.
"I love you. Only you. I am staying here for you Thorin." She crawled over towards him, but he stepped away. "I don't need a King. I need you. I want to make YOU happy."
Thorin staggered back, and placed his hands over his ears as though he could hear loud sounds. He looked as though he were in excruciating pain. And then after staggering back a few more steps, he fell to his knees and uttered a low rumbling groan, as though he had been injured.
Shobha quickly climbed off the bed, and ran to him, holding him as he began to fall onto his hands, his crown tumbling off his head.
"Dwalin! Balin!" She screamed. "Help! Help!"
Thorin appeared to have lost consciousness, and he was leaning on her, almost as if in a limp embrace. She strained under the weight of his upper body as she slowly lowered him to the ground, quickly checking his pulse and breathing. And when she was satisfied he had fainted, she rolled him into recovery position, just as Dwalin and Balin burst into her room.
"Lass?! What is it –" Dwalin rushed over.
"I'll get Oin –" Balin quickly disappeared.
"What happened lass?" Dwalin knelt next to Thorin.
"He came in, talked to me… and he seemed to be affected by the sickness and screamed and fainted. I managed to stop him hitting the ground." She felt bashful about telling him that he had asked to bed her and she had wholeheartedly agreed. "I think he has had a vasovagal –"
"A Vaso-what-what?" Dwalin looked at her.
"Oh sorry, a faint…" she had been quite good to keep her medical jargon limited, but this one had slipped.
Fili had now come running into the room.
"Dwalin? Shobha? Is everything ok?" Fili looked at the scene before him. "What happened to Uncle?"
"Can you get me a pillow please?"
Fili quickly picked a pillow off her bed and handed it to her, and then lifted Thorin's legs, like he had done helped with Kallon when he fainted all those months ago, while Shobha placed the pillow underneath.
Dwalin continued to kneel next to Shobha and Thorin. And Thorin began to open his eyes, groaning slightly.
"Shobha… Shobha…?" He muttered as he began to come round.
"Thorin, I'm here..." She gently stroked his head. "I'm always here for you. Rest now."
"My beautiful one… My Shobha.." He opened his eyes and looked at her enough to reassure himself before closing them again and holding her hand.
"We'd better get him to his bed." She said looking up at Dwalin and Fili.
"No. Stay with me please, my beautiful one…" Thorin mumbled.
"My bed then..?" Shobha guided, as they all helped Thorin up and got him into bed. She sat on the bed stroking his head, while he held her hand and his eyes shut again and his breath steadied.
Meanwhile Oin, Balin and Dis had all piled into the room. Oin began to asses Thorin efficiently, while Fili got a fire stared and Dis made a pot of tea for everyone.
"Well, I agree it was just a faint," Oin confirmed after a quick examination.
"What was he doing in here?" Dwalin asked again.
"What do you think…?" Dis said rolling her eyes. "Goodness Dwalin, one would think we needed to explain that dwarflings are not made from stone…"
"No.. it's more than that." Shobha frowned, trying to put things together. "He thinks I will not want him, or that I want a younger King… he wants me to carry his child now for some reason."
"Like he doesn't trust you…?!" Dwalin looked shocked.
"It is not you he mistrusts." Fili spoke up, bashfully as though he were confessing a plot to steal the Arkenstone. "It is I…"
Shobha sighed but it was clear, even if they didn't want to admit to how preposterous the idea was.
"I guess in truth, by age even, you could be a suitable consort for Fili too…" Dis put her hand on Fili's shoulder in support.
"He told me, I was forbidden from discussing anything with you after the issue with the blacksmiths.. but later he said he knew what I was trying to do." Fili recalled. "At first it made no sense. But after that night when I found you making tea and Uncle joined us.. well I can see now …"
"It's the sickness… just manifesting in another way..." Balin brushed his beard thoughtfully.
"As jealousy." Shobha concluded. "Which is why he became so possessive… he thought the only way to be certain was for me to have his child."
"So what exactly happened tonight between you and Thorin then lass… how did he return to himself?" Dwalin queried suspiciously.
"Dwalin, do you really want her to elaborate?" Dis looked at him raising an eyebrow.
"We didn't quite… but I thought, if he needs me to prove that I am true to him.. then so be it." Shobha said. "He asked me and when I said that I did… he stepped away, like there was a fight going on in his own head… I knelt next to him and when he collapsed I just about managed to support him and stop him crashing to the floor…"
"Well I think he needs rest now," Oin looked at the group who had made themselves mugs of tea and sat around the room.
"Right. I'm going then," Fili said looking up from the fireplace, where he had just stoked the fire again.
"Aye. I am only next door if I am needed lass." Balin stood to leave with Fili.
"Shouldn't someone stay…?" Dwalin looked to everyone else.
"Nonsense Dwalin." Dis gently placed her hand on the gruff warriors arm reassuringly. "Shobha will be fine. In any case you are next door. She will call if there is any worry. But I think he is over his sickness and believe Shobha was the key all along. Let them both rest now… there is enough room on that bed for two." She winked at Shobha and ushered everyone out shutting the door behind her softly.
Shobha turned to Thorin, still sleeping as though dead. She covered him back with a blanket, and tenderly stroked his hair.
"Please get better. I love you.. I need you." She whispered, planting a kiss on his forehead, as she lay down next to him taking his large hand in hers.
