He stood beside her bed, staring intently into the face of the young girl with vibrant red hair that reminded him guiltily of Addison. Her eyes were closed in sleep, darting slightly back in forth, following whatever she was seeing in her dream. A large, deep gash ran from the middle of her forehead to her ear, carefully stitched up and bandaided over.
The sound of shoes echoing off the hospital walls greeted his ears but he refused to turn around, refused to let his eyes leave the startlingly beautiful woman who was now his patient. He hoped it was Meredith. When they ran into each other in Amber's room hours earlier, she swiftly turned back to the patient and said she would be back to check on her later. Derek hadn't seen her since.
A warm, blonde body walked up beside him, stopping next to him and watching Amber asleep in the bed. No words were said, her presence was enough.
"Izzie," Derek said, running his fingers through his hair. "Long time no see," he said, his voice holding a smile. He didn't know just how hostile everyone was going to be to him now that he was back; four years after he had left. "When Christina called me, I wasn't going to come. I didn't know if I could face everyone," Derek said. Izzie still had not spoken.
"But you did," Izzie said quietly. Derek was silent.
"Hey, who was that little girl that was with you earlier?" he asked, finally turning towards her and noticing Izzie's face pale a little.
She was silent for a minute, debating on how to answer his question. Her, George, Christine and Meredith had gone over what they would say if this question ever came up. "Taylor," she answered simply, wondering if he would get the hint that she didn't want to talk about it.
"Whose kid?" Derek pried again. He couldn't, for the life of him, get the image of the little girl's pretty face and familiar eyes out of his head.
Izzie was silent again, confirming Derek's suspicions that she was Meredith's, or at least related to her. Taylor's eyes were too identical to Meredith's to not be somewhat a part of her.
"Meredith's I'm guessing … judging by your silence," he said with a slight smirk. She smiled guiltily back.
"It's ok Izzie. Really, it is," he told her unconvincingly. "I'm glad that she's moved on with her life, that she didn't just … give up … for lack of a better term, after I left," he continued, smiling at her again.
"How's Addison?" she asked, changing the subject abruptly.
Derek smiled, aware of the quick subject change. "She's good," Derek said, returning his eyes to Amber's sleeping face. "Or not. Depending on how you look at it," he said with another smile. Izzie couldn't tell if he was joking with her or not. So she settled for a simple smile back. "She lost a baby the other day, one of her patients. Poor little kid held on for so long … Addy waited for him to get stronger so she could operate. He did … and then he died during surgery. She was pretty broken up, still is."
This time Izzie didn't smile. She hung her head long, a pang of guilt for her own daughter weighing heavily in her chest.
"Can I meet her?" Derek asked suddenly, tearing his eyes off of Amber's face and turning to fully face Izzie.
"Who?" she asked, confused.
Derek took a deep breath, wondering what the repercussions of his question were going to be. "Taylor. I want to meet her. And I highly doubt that Meredith is going to be all 'hey there how's it going 'ol buddy' to me. But I want to see her. I want to see what she's done for herself. I want proof that she's moved on," he pleaded, wondering if what he was saying made any sense to Izzie.
Every part of Izzie's brain screamed to not let Derek anywhere near the little girl. But her heart said otherwise. Something about the spark in his eyes that was begging to see Taylor was ripping her apart and she knew she would want someone to do the same for her if she ever decided to try and find her daughter. Eventually, her heart won out and she nodded reluctantly, motioning for Derek to follow her to the daycare centre.
He stood at the window to the room, watching as the little girl sat at one of the plastic tables, wrapping one of her fingers around a dark curl at the tip of her hair. She sat quietly, not playing with the other kids, just sitting with a small smile on her face and watching a tiny baby on a mat across the room.
Izzie stood beside him, a grin plastered to her face. She loved watching Taylor. For her, it was as though she got another chance at raising a kid, at experiencing all the things she missed out on with her own daughter.
"She's a cutie, huh?" Izzie asked, still not taking her eyes off of Taylor.
"She's adorable," Derek answered. "Can we go in?" he asked, his voice somewhat of a plea.
Izzie motioned to the door before saying, "After you."
He walked into the room, slowly making his way over to Taylor who continued to twirl her hair. When he got there, he knelt down beside her and gave her a smile. Izzie came up beside them and sat down, placing a warm hand on Taylor's leg.
"Sweetie this is Dr Shepherd. He used to work with your mommy," Izzie cooed, making a funny face at the little girl. She giggled and Derek's smile couldn't help but grow. She had the most adorable laugh.
"Hi Taylor," Derek said, extending his hand towards her. She looked at it a second, wondering what he wanted her to do with it, before reaching out her own tiny hand and shaking his.
"Hi she said quietly," staring at the man that was a stranger to her.
Derek couldn't help but notice the resemblance that Meredith and Taylor held, especially their eyes. He also couldn't help but notice the fact that she had his hair, colour and curls. His heart started beating a little faster and he could feel his pulse in his throat.
"How old did you say she was?" Derek asked.
"She'll be four in six months," Izzie said nonchalantly.
Three years and six months , he repeated in his head. Almost four. He had left four years ago. Their relationship had ended almost six months before he left. She had taken a lot of time off the last couple months before he left. He looked just like her.
