She stared at him, world spinning madly around her. Things started to twirl, started to whirl madly until everything around her was nothing but streaks of multiple colours, rotating at mind-blowing speeds around her. She could slightly make out Derek standing in front of her, arms out as though ready to catch her if she fell. And she would. She could feel it. Her limbs had started to go numb and she had lost all feeling, emotional and physical. Meredith could feel her body starting to sway and an image of her tiny daughter on the opposite end of the country with a man she hardly knew was the last thought that crossed her head as her mind went blank.
Derek shot out his arms as she started to crumple and gathered her into his chest, pulling her close and hoisting her back to her feet. Carefully, he carried her back into her house, taking note of Taylor who had perched herself delicately on the bottom step of the stairs, watching the absurd seen of her father carrying her unconscious mother into the living room.
Derek brought her to the couch and gently placed her down, giving Izzie, who was staring at the scene with Taylor now in her arms, an apologetic look.
"Dr Stevens, a cold cloth if you wouldn't mind," he said with a coy grin, placing himself cautiously on the end of the cushion. Raising his head, he brought his eyes to the doorframe where Taylor was standing, leaning nonchalantly against the frame.
He stared at her for a minute before flashing her a smile, wondering to himself why he never realized that she was his daughter right off the bat. She looked so much like him. From her dark, curly hair, bangs pulled to the side with a butterfly clip, to the way she stood and the pouty look that was gracing her face. Except for her eyes. That she got from her mother. Piercing green eyes that made it seem like she was looking right through you. Derek couldn't get over how much she had that same look that Meredith got when she was confused or hurt.
"Come here sweetie," Derek said, extending out his arms to his daughter who was looking on rather distraught.
Taylor looked hesitantly towards him, debating on whether to go to him. She was just so damn confused. Only days earlier, her mother was telling her as she extracted her from Derek's arms that her father lived far away and that Derek wasn't her daddy. But then, two days ago, she sat her down and told her that she lied, that everything she had ever told her about her father was fictional. That Derek was, in fact, her father. And for anyone, let alone a little girl who hadn't even seen her fourth birthday, confusion was inevitable.
Giving in on her desire for comfort, Taylor walked towards Derek, stepping into his embrace and resting her head on his shoulder, eyes glued to her mother who seemed to be sleeping.
Stepping into the room, Izzie took sight of Taylor, wrapped tight in her fathers' embrace, and Meredith, still out cold on the couch beside them. Wet cloth held tight in her grasp, the tall blonde stepped into the room and cleared her throat, gaining the attention of the occupants.
Derek smiled gratefully and extracted Taylor from his arms, placing her gently down on the ground. Izzie walked over and handed Derek the washcloth, stepping back and watching as he pressed the cloth to her forehead and waited as she came too.
Groggily, she opened her eyes and groaned, pushing herself into a sitting position and looking around the room. Eyes falling upon her daughter, she held open her arms and was immediately greeted with the three-year old in her lap.
With tears in her eyes for remembrance of her conversation with Derek only a couple minutes ago, Meredith buried her head deep within Taylor's hair and fought back tears. She wouldn't let him take her from her. She wouldn't. She couldn't. Taylor was her life and without her … it just wasn't worth living.
"Meredith …" Derek said softly, knowing what was on her mind.
"You can't take her Derek," Meredith said, voice barely above a whisper. "You can't."
"Umm …" Izzie said, standing above them awkwardly. "I'll just …" She jabbed her thumb in the general direction behind her and turned on her heel, walking hesitantly away from the scene.
"Meredith," Derek attempted again. He knew that she would never just hand Taylor over without a fight.
She didn't respond, just buried her head farther into Taylor's neck, pulling the little girl tighter to her chest. She would be damned if after almost four years, Derek just walked into their lives and took Taylor away. She promised herself when her daughter was born that she would never let this happen; that Taylor would never be taken away from her.
"Meredith," Derek said again, a hint of a warning tone in his voice.
She raised her head reluctantly, eyes locking with his.
"Meredith you need to hear me through," he said, his voice calm and quiet, trying his best to keep her demeanour the same.
"What so you can tell me all about how I'm an unfit mother and how it's all my fault that you never got to know Taylor and how your taking her back to New York with you so you can be the perfect little family with Addison," Meredith said, voice dripping with venom and distain.
Derek looked at her, eyes pooling with hurt yet understanding. He knew he should have been clearer when he said he was taking Taylor back to New York with him. He should have known that Meredith would have taken it like he was taking away her daughter forever.
"Look at me," he said softly, reaching out with his hand and tilting her chin upwards so their eyes locked again. "You need to hear this through."
He tried to ignore the tears pooling at the brim of her eyes and the quavering of her lips as she tried to fight them. It was making his heart break to see her so broken.
"I'm not taking Taylor away from you," he said softly but with meaning. "Nor will I ever. And what in the name of hell would make you believe that I would think that you were an unfit mother?" he asked, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her lips.
But her face remained deadly serious.
"Meredith look at her," he said, gesturing to the tiny ball that had curled herself up in her mothers lap. "She's polite and she's sweet and she's stubborn. And she's the most adorable thing that I have ever seen in my life." He paused, looking to Taylor's porcelain face who was staring expectantly up at him.
"And I look at the way you hold her, the way you look at her. And I know that there's no place that she belongs other than right here; in your arms."
Meredith refused to remove her eyes from his, knowing that everything he was saying was true.
"Then why did you say you were going to New York and taking her with you?" Meredith asked, her voice filled with curiosity.
Derek smiled. "I want her to see the city. I'm going back to get my stuff. I talked to Burke a couple days ago and since he's chief now he signed my contract. I'm moving back to Seattle. And I'm only going to New York to get my stuff." He paused a second before adding to the statement. "And sign the divorce papers I had Addison draw up."
Meredith stared at him, eyes booring disbelievingly into his.
"When I found out that Taylor was my daughter, I phoned Addison and told her. And I also told her that I needed to move back here to be with her. There was no way in hell that I was going to let her grow up without me." He paused. "And I also told her that I wanted a divorce. She promised to draw up the papers if only I brought Taylor back with me. She just wants to meet her. She also said that you were welcome to come as well."
Derek took note of the fact that it was a completely one-sided conversation. He watched as Meredith's entire demeanour changed; from sad and depressed, her whole world crumbling before her eyes, to happy, eyes shining.
She looked down to her lap, to Taylor who was now looking at her instead of her father, and smiled. Taylor pushed herself into more of a sitting position and looked between her parents, head darting back and forth between them as though watching a tennis match.
"What'd'ya say babe?" Meredith asked her daughter, taking out Taylor's butterfly clip which was falling out and repositioning it. "Want to go on a trip to New York with daddy?"
"What's You Nork?" she asked, eyes puzzled.
Meredith and Derek laughed.
"It's a place that you have to go on a plane to get there," Derek said, wrapping one of his fingers around Taylor's soft curls.
"Ok," Taylor replied perkily. "Mommy are you coming too?"
Meredith looked to Derek before dropping her eyes to her child. "No sweetie. This is a special trip for you and Daddy only. It'll help you get to know each other better," Meredith said, raising her eyes back up to Derek and smiling.
Derek grinned and couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, things were going to work out after all.
