Title: Blackbird
Author: Oldach's Dream
Summary: Someone or Something is trying to trap Sam within his own mind. Alluring him with the promise of the normal life that he's always wanted. Will Dean be able to save his baby brother before he's gone forever?
Disclaimer: Supernatural defiantly isn't my creation.
Rating: M
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Previously:
His voice was tight as he rasped desperately, tears pooling shamelessly in his eyes.
"…mom?"
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Chapter Three:
"Sammy." She said again, and without warning, rushed over to his bedside and wrapped her arms around him tightly.
It was the most amazing feeling Sam could ever remember having. He felt comforted and secure, safe from everything in the world that would dare try to hurt him.
He was feeling the strength of a mother's love.
"Mom." He choked out again, and lifted his, suddenly very heavy, arms and wrapped them around her, holding on just as tightly as she was.
"Say you'll stay with us, Sammy." She sounded as if she were pleading with him.
She looked different than Sam had expected. Because somewhere, in some little back corner of his mind that he'd never admit to listening to, or even hearing, he had been expecting this.
Wanting it.
The only visions of Mary Winchester that Sam possessed were ones from old photographs and the brief memory of her spirit in their old house in Kansas. Another memory where someone he loved had burst into flames, before their time was truly up.
The person standing before him now resembled the woman that he held in his memories, but she was not the same. She looked older, her fine blonde hair, some of which was graying with age, like his father's was, pulled into a loose bun, not flowing around her.
She didn't look magically surreal. She was there, holding him. Touching him, comforting him.
She was real.
There were worry lines present on her face and Sam couldn't help but think that a lot of them might have been recently added. When she shivered slightly Sam had the urge to tell someone to go and get her a blanket, or turn up the heat. Before he realized that she probably wasn't shivering from the cold.
His mind snapped back to the words she had spoken.
"What?" He asked, shaking his head slightly, more than a little dazed.
"You've been blacking out Sam." She pulled away from him, falling into the waiting arms of her husband, and Sam wanted to scream and cry at the loss. "Going somewhere else."
"This isn't real." He said it out loud, remembering it for the first time since he'd seen his mother.
Which somehow felt as if it'd been light-years ago.
He was torn between two realms of thought. One where he knew that this wasn't actually happening. He didn't know what was causing this; but they dealt with paranormal phenomenon's everyday. Maybe this was a shift in dimensions, or the curse of a ghost, or something trying to make him go crazy.
Or perhaps, he thought, looking at the people surrounding him, he was going crazy. Maybe he had too many repressed desires and unasked questions. Too many regrets and losses that he never spoke of, ones he pushed to the deepest reaches of his mind and ignored day in and day out.
Maybe they had all finally manifested themselves, just like Doctor James Ellicott had told him they would. Before his dead father had messed with Sam's head and made him shoot his brother.
"Yes it is." This world's Dean spoke.
He too was different, although the changes were so slight; it wasn't at all shocking that Sam hadn't picked up on them before. Physically, this Dean looked identical to his Dean, the Dean he was used to, his other brother.
Good fucking God, even his internal dialogue was confusing.
Dean's appearance was not helping at all. They sported the same types of clothes, the same five o'clock shadow, the same perfectly kept, yet not at all preppy, hair.
The only notable differences between them, really, were in the way they talked. This Dean was much more soft spoken, gentle almost. Sam found himself at odds with that. He liked this sensitive brother, but he longed for the familiarity of his Dean's sarcasm and 'I don't give a flying fuck' attitude.
"Sam," the doctor was speaking this time. Which was good, as he didn't particularly feel like comparing anyone else with, anyone else.
The demon thing in his head was threatening to return.
"Yeah, that's me." He answered. "I hope anyway. That hasn't changed has it?"
He meant it as a joke, but the more he thought about it, the more legitimate of a worry it was.
Maybe this was another dimension, and he had somehow switched places with the Sam that was supposed to be here. Dimensions and alternate realities were not things Sam had ever given much thought to, or any thought to actually. But why not? Why couldn't it be possible? Something was making this happen.
"Of course you're still you Sam." It was Jessica this time. She looked exactly the same as he remembered her. Only not dead anymore.
"Mr. Winchester, I need you to tell me exactly what happens when you... Go away from us." The doctor spoke professionally, but Sam couldn't stop himself from blanching.
It was completely irrelevant and should have been ignored, but the doctor's words grated on something inside him, an annoyance that he thought he had long forgotten.
"Geez, don't say that." He couldn't stop the mild shiver that raced up his spine.
"Say what?" The doctor asked, utterly confused, and slightly worried.
"Gone away from us." Only it was Dean answering. Good to know some things weren't that different.
When the doctor looked at him, he explained with a slight smirk, possibly as grateful as Sam was for the bit of familiarity.
"When we were kids we saw this movie. I can't remember the name of it anymore, but it scared the crap out of Sammy..."
"It was called 'Brazil', and what did you expect? I was twelve and the thing was freaking creepy." It was almost relieving, to be having such a regular conversation with Dean.
Because as much as he hated to admit it, or couldn't explain it, he knew this guy was his brother. Whether they were in a different world, or just a manifestation of Sam's subconscious, this was Dean. At least, it wasn't something evil.
"The end was." Dean agreed. "But he hates that phrase, 'gone away from us.'"
The doctor looked at him, and Sam shrugged. "The main character had my name. It was a weird movie."
"I'm not familiar with it." She said, sounding almost amused. Sam noted absently that he preferred her voice to the congested one of the doctor at the other hospital. "But I think we've sidetracked enough." She cleared her throat and sounded, once again, professional and detached.
"Now Sam, I need you to tell me what happens, when you...when you black out. When you're not here."
"I'm in the real world." Sam didn't care how much these people sounded or acted like the real version of who they were supposed to be. He didn't care what emotions they made him feel or how much he trusted them. He didn't care that he knew this Dean was really his brother.
They couldn't be real.
Not real for him, anyway.
They couldn't.
Could they?
"Sam," she sighed patiently. "This is the real world."
"No it's not." He insisted. He would not go crazy. He would not go crazy.
"Okay," she agreed rather easily, obviously wanting to try a different tactic. "Then why don't you tell me why not. Why isn't this world real, Sam?"
He sighed out a heavy breath, but answered patiently; already knowing they wouldn't believe him. "Because in the real world, you," he pointed to his father. "Are in California and you won't let us come and find you. You," he gestured towards Dean. "Are a sarcastic pain in the ass with a hero complex. And you two." His voice cracked slightly as he looked at the only two women who had ever loved him. "Are dead."
A silence fell over the room and Sam had a feeling it would have lasted an eternity, if Dean hadn't snorted lightly a few moments into it. Asking sarcastically, "Why would you want to live in a place like that?"
All eyes in the room turned to his older brother, and Sam realized that this Dean possessed some of his Dean's tendencies towards inappropriate humor after all.
"What?" He asked innocently at the stares. "Seems like a crappy place to want to live. Other than, you know, the fact that I'm there."
"I don't really have a choice in the matter." Sam defended, and felt rather odd doing so.
He would not go crazy. He would not go crazy.
Whoops. He thought stupidly. Too late.
"Paranormal Activity." Jessica said quite suddenly. All eyes turned to her, and Sam thought vaguely that this hospital room had turned into something resembling an ongoing tennis match. With everyone's eyes constantly darting back and forth.
"Come again?" Dean asked after a few beats of silence.
"Paranormal Activity." She repeated, as if that should clarify everything.
"Yeah, I'm still not getting it." Dean said casually and shrugged. His voice was lighter than it had been the first time Sam had shown up here.
He seemed to be okay with his brother's apparent mental condition. As long as Sam was physically there with them, and not accusing him of being evil, Dean seemed quite content.
"Your life, Sam." Jessica turned to him. She had that look in her eyes, the one that she got when she was excited, and eager to share that excitement with everyone. "Your 'real' life." She used air quotes around 'real'. "Do you spend it hunting paranormal stuff, evil things?"
All eyes focused on him, and Sam's own eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Yeah..."
"With Dean right? You guys hunt evil, and your dad hunts the monster that killed your mom when you were kids, and your girlfriend... me, right? I..."
"I thought you said...you're trying to get me to believe..." Sam didn't know how to phrase what he was trying to say.
As disturbing as it was, he had started to think of this world as just that, a different world. The logical part of his brain told him that none of this could really exist, and if it did, he sure as hell wasn't meant to be here. Yet he was still here, feeling very much a part of this world.
Whether he liked it or not, all of this felt very real. Very normal. Until Jessica had started describing the real, real world to him. Like she knew all about it.
It couldn't work both ways, could it? How could they know about his world, when he knew nothing of there's? How could any of this work at all?
Sam was a part of two different realities, that much he had been dealing with. Not that he had a choice in the matter, but this, Jess's knowledge, it was too mind boggling to even contemplate at the moment. His breathing quickened, and he remembered suddenly that there was more pain in this world. Coughing fits and intense headaches.
"Breathe Sam." He had been starring at Jessica and couldn't tell if the order came from his father or his brother, they had always sounded remarkably similar when they were dispensing orders.
He obeyed on instinct either way, and the next words unmistakably came from Dean, his voice was more serious and defensive than it had been just moments before. The sight of Sam freaking out undoubtedly snapping him back into protective big brother mode. Another sure fire way to indicate that he was indeed Dean.
"What are you talking about Jessica?" He asked sternly
"That's what you were talking about before," Jess went on, ignoring him. "You said Dean was a demon. Or a shape shifter, right?"
"Jessica." Mary spoke the word harshly and the girl in question turned to look at her boyfriend's mother, who was sounding very on edge. "How do you know all this?"
"Sam, honey." She took a step closer to him and gripped his hand, as she had done before. Speaking to him softly, her eyes now held understanding. "That's not reality. It's the plot of the book you're writing."
End Chapter.
A/N:
Yeah, okay, I know, crazy right?
Don't worry, it does all fit together, or it will,you just have to keep reading.
In the mean time, I reall, really want to know what you think, so,
Review? Please?
