Shobha had slept almost continuously for several days. She was simply not ready to face anyone. Eventually, even when her mind was ready, her body was not. Thorin had remained with her throughout. He patiently held her when she needed it, saved her from her nightmares that kept her from sleeping for more than several hours continuously.
Then when she was finally ready to leave the safety of their room, she threw herself fully into preparing Aro's funeral and helping Oin treat the wounded.
It transpired that Aro's parents lived in Ered Luin, and he had another brother there with a young family, for whom his parents had remained to help. So Shobha herself had sent them an escort of Dain's guards who were to deliver the news in person, and bring them back to Erebor for when Aro was to be entombed.
Over the next two weeks the dwarves of Erebor had all slowly returned to their lives, and then their routines.
Shobha had taken time away from her more visible duties as Thorin's consort to spend all her time helping in the infirmary. She felt comfortable there, and at home. The thought of sitting next to Thorin at the formal meals, excepting the one celebrating the dead, was more than she could bear. She would instead sneak in to the kitchen and eat with Bombur, Elin and Lena, who had kept her whereabouts secret, even from Zodar and Barr. And so the Queen's seat had often remained empty, and Thorin had only stayed at meals as long as he was needed. But when he returned to their apartment, he would find it empty. Initially his first instincts were to search the whole Mountain to find her, and bring her back. But when he had learned that she continued to tend to the injured, he felt like a jealous husband, opting to let her continue her work. After all he too had much to get on with.
She had only truly appeared to look happy, when little Lena, Bombur and Elin's daughter, or young Gael, who was now called himself 'Gaelin, Son of Dwalin', would hold her hand or give her a hug. Something that had not escaped Thorin's watchful eye, and with each passing day, he began to despair that he did not love her as she deserved.
Unfortunately she would not return until late from her work at the infirmary, almost everyday, by which time Thorin had often fallen asleep alone. And coming to hate their cold, empty marriage bed, he had also begun to work until late, when he would fall sleep in his study.
In truth, she hated their bed, after what had happened, in particular after being tied to it. But she felt pathetic about it, given how many had been killed or injured, and so remained silent about her feelings. If Thorin fell asleep in his study, because he was busy at work, there was no reason for her to sleep in their bed either. So she too would kip on the couch in their parlour.
Apart from meeting Fili on a few formal occasions, she had not spoken to him either, and he too having felt helpless to save her that day, had not forced a conversation. He was also usually the one to nag Shobha to train harder, but he had left her to decide when she was ready to return. And she had not.
Shobha did however escape every now and again to spend time in the small temple of Aulë and Yavanna. It was the only part of Erebor that was quiet. There she would remain tending to the living wall of plants that blossomed under her care, while either Zodar or Barr stood guard at the door.
And slowly the days had turned into weeks in this manner.
Thranduil had sent messages everyday to Thorin, much to his annoyance, asking after Shobha, and offering to send his own personal healer. But Thorin would reply stating that his new bride was recovering well, even though he was wracked with worry over her changed demeanour.
….
"So she does not take any supper in the infirmary?" Thorin glanced at Gloin.
"No, I have asked my brother, but also Mara had invited her to dine with us, several times, but she has not taken up an invitation." Gloin shook his head sadly.
They sat in Thorin's study, and Dwalin had brought two bottles of his strong whisky. They had forced information from the prisoners that day, and while Dwalin and Nori had been experts at this, Thorin found he never had the stomach for it. A stiff drink was certainly needed at the end of such a day, and more so with his One distancing herself from them all.
Also Shobha had not returned yet from work, and Thorin needed to know what everyone knew. While forcing a conversation seemed too much at the moment, he didn't know how to approach her. He felt as though he had been tip toeing around her, for everything that had happened to her, and she still grieved for all the fallen, particularly Aro.
"What she suffered that day, Uncle… I think she was…" Fili looked down at his glass. He normally enjoyed good whisky, even if it was too strong for more than a glass or two.
"Aye lad, as though she were ready to die." Balin thought back to when she wanted to speak with him on the ramparts just before the orcs attacked.
"Neither she nor I believed anyone would arrive in time." Fili toyed with his glass, and then looked at Thorin, who seemed to understand. Mol was planning to have her raped and force the prince to watch. He could not imagine such torture, and what it would do to a dwarrow, particularly since he was aware of how fond of his bride Fili was. Thorin wanted to reach out to his nephew and reassure him. But all the same, there was a part of him that still resented Fili's rash decision to mount a rescue for the captive Blacklocks instead of giving them the provisions and a few of their soldiers to undertake the rescue themselves. And so Thorin had decided that Fili would not receive any sympathy at the moment, not when his wife suffered so much.
They all remained silent for a moment. Gloin worrying about his own wife, and what fate may have befallen her if Shobha had not insisted on evacuating the mountain. And the Fundin brothers thinking of the young woman they had come to regard as their own sister.
"I was hoping she would have returned to some training…" Dwalin commented quietly. They were meant to be relaxing and blowing off some steam.
"I cannot bring myself to force her. Do not place that burden on me!" Fili spoke harshly. "She does not even wish to go riding – I have tried offering her that much. And in truth, she has not even spoken much with Amad. Does she even sleep well? She looks tired, pale and thinner!"
"Aye… she frequently has nightmares." Thorin didn't wish to discuss their sleeping arrangements. Nor did he want to reveal that they had not made love since he left Erebor. In fact she had barely let him hold her.
"Well you must speak with her, Uncle! I know we all tip toe around her – giving her time to heal. But all she is doing is shutting herself away even more. You are her husband – you have more of her than we could ever dream of –" Fili stopped his angry tirade before he said something that he would regret. He was angry, because he could not cry. He had saved Vara, but in doing so he had condemned Shobha, whom he also loved so much, to such torment. And the look in her eyes that day, when she had believed that she was about to be brutally raped by the orcs had been burned into his memory. He saw her face whenever he shut his eyes at night. It was a frequent source of his own night terrors. Throwing back his whisky, Fili stood up and grunting a quick goodnight, left Thorin's study as fast as he could.
"I too had better get back to Mara." Gloin made his excuses before standing up himself. The evening had taken a bitter turn, even though they were only half way through Dwalin's second bottle. "Thorin, lads…"
Balin tapped his pipe out onto a tray before casting a glance at his own brother, when they were alone. They had noticed Shobha's changed behaviour for some time, but had all the same wanted to stay out of their marriage. But even they could not remain silent any longer. And now they had a rare private moment together, with enough of Dwalin's stiff drink in them, it was the moment to speak.
"Zodar mentioned that he had been worried when she had not found him this morning, so had entered the parlour after knocking, to find her asleep on the couch, still in yesterday's dress…" Balin began tentatively.
He stretched his back subtly, feeling the stiffness of having slept overnight in his chair. All this time he had believed she had not come to collect him from his study, like she had initially when she had arrived late to find their room empty.
"Nori was not entirely comfortable spying on the Queen at your behest either, laddie." Balin felt more comfortable at revealing that much. "But he suspects that she takes supper quietly in the kitchen with Elin, Bombur and their youngling."
"Why would Bombur not tell me?"
"Perhaps she did not want it known lad. Women have their ways sometimes, particularly when they crave their solitude." Balin shook his head.
"Even from me? Her own husband?"
"She has kept it from Zodar and Barr also. For they swore to me that she informs them she is to take several hours to rest before returning to her work. They stand guard outside the apartment, but perhaps she takes the passageways."
Thorin stretched again. He wanted to rub his back but didn't want to make it obvious.
"Not sleeping well eh baheluh?" Dwalin raised a busy eyebrow at his friend.
"I fell asleep in here." Thorin grumbled. He was not going to discuss his sex life – not even with Dwalin! And he would not coerce her, no matter how much he craved her touch. He still had recollections of how he had been more forceful with his affections during his dragon sickness and felt ashamed. It was true that now they were married he could ask her for her body, and in accordance of their laws, she could not refuse, it was a wife's duty. But he wanted her not in submission, but in willingness. He drained his glass again, wondering why she had slept in the parlour, and for how long she had been doing so. And then he grew more resolved – he would address this tonight itself, even if it meant an argument!
"I have something important to attend to…" Thorin stood up.
"What are ya planning on doing at this hour?" Dwalin scowled.
"Finding my wife."
….
Zodar interrupted his Queen as she stood tending to the foliage in the temple of Aulë and Yavanna.
"My Queen, I have received word from the guards at the great gates. The Grey Wizard and the Elven King have arrived."
"Does Thorin – I mean does our King know?"
"The Wizard asked for you as a matter of urgency my lady." Zodar added. "But I imagine a guard has been sent to find the King."
"Let's go then." She spoke wondering what this was all about. And setting her small watering can aside she set off with Zodar close behind, following the guard from the gate that had brought the message to them.
….
The large torches burned brightly at the gates as she rushed outside. More guards had instinctively stepped in front of her to protect her as she walked across the stone bridge towards Gandalf and Thranduil who still remained mounted on their white horse and stag calmly.
Spring had finally arrived, not that Shobha had noticed, since this was the first time she had ventured outside since she last stood on the ramparts. But it was clear that the chilly bite that had previously hung in the air at this time of day was no longer present.
"Gandalf…?" She began as she looked up to make out their faces in the dim lighting.
"My dear, there is something important we must discuss with you." Gandalf began. He noticed her cautious, broken spirit immediately. "It will explain much of what you have suffered. But I expect Thorin will piece the rest together, given he has a few prisoners…"
Shobha shuddered at the recollection of Mol. She had only just had her first night of full sleep, without seeing the horrid dwarf's face in her nightmares.
Thranduil then dismounted smoothly and offered her his hand.
"My lady, we have little time in this matter, we have already sent my son accompanying the hobbit to see Lord Elrond." He left his hand out and open to her patiently, as though he were certain she would take it. "Surely you do not believe we would mislead you?"
"What about Thorin?"
"It is more important that you hear what we have to say, my dear," Gandalf smiled sympathetically. "Time is of the essence, and I received word from Allon – "
"Is he ok?" She looked around expecting her former guard to have returned some time ago.
"He has gone to find Thorin." The wizard reassured stroking his beard.
"How will I – "
"I am here to take you myself," Thranduil offered his hand again.
"Your Majesty, I will take her…" Zodar stepped in, only to be halted by Thranduil.
"I cannot allow those who are armed to the teeth to be admitted to my halls."
"It is fine, young guard. I am here to protect your Queen." Gandalf reassured Zodar, who strangely seemed to back away nodding.
Shobha looked around at the guards who appeared to be awaiting her command. And she wasn't certain what this was about, but if they had a reason for why she was about to be brutalised that day and for all the death she saw, and Aro's sacrifice, then she owed it to herself to find out. Thorin was probably too drunk to do anything other than order her to remain here tonight and for a formal visit to be set. She couldn't wait for that!
While her husband had been patient and reassuring to the best of his abilities, he hadn't spoken to her about anything that had happened to her. She imagined Fili had already informed him, but it made her wonder whether it made him want her less, or whether he felt ashamed.
Besides he was busy after all the destruction and clearing. Even Dale needed rebuilding! And she felt silly to raise her unwillingness to sleep in their bed any longer.
No I cant wait for Thorin. I have to know.
So she tentatively reached out to take Thranduil's hand, as he carefully lifted her onto his stag and then climbed on behind her. Finally wrapping his cloak around her and keeping her safe with one arm, he set off.
…..
He had not found her in the infirmary, and the temple of Aulë was empty. So after sending out several of his own guards to find her, Zodar, Allon and Dwalin had found him, informing Thorin of her departure with the wizard and the king from Mirkwood.
Needless to say he was awash with rage and disappointment. He struggled to fathom why she would have left without even informing him. Clenching and unclenching his fists at his side, he made his way fast to the great gates, maintaining his calm façade.
"Baheluh, she probably didn't expect our evening to end early." Dwalin could see past his stony mask.
"It matters not – she is the Queen! She cannot just take off into the night with whomever she pleases! And this she knows."
"So what do ya intend on doing? We've had a few whiskies Thorin, don't think riding out is recommended –"
"She is my wife Dwalin! She should have at least had me accompany her. What escort does she have?"
"Allon said the Grey Wizard would be her guardian."
Thorin stopped and looked at his dearest friend openly showing his irritation now.
"So you think I would sit back and let her spend the night in the halls of that elf?!" Thorin snapped.
"Point well made. Let's go get our Queen back."
"In all honesty, I still don't know what in Durin's name possessed her to do that!" He grumbled angrily again as he mounted his pony.
Dwalin cursed in Khuzdul under his breath. It was his task to keep their king safe. A task he had gladly taken up for his best friend. But tonight he anticipated he would be caught up in their lover's quarrel if things went Thorin's way. Or else if she had her way, Shobha would likely freeze him out, as she had been doing for the last few weeks! He sighed heavily as they galloped out of the stables fast. This would be a very long night for him, indeed.
…
Shobha fell to her knees again, heaving. She was certain there was nothing left in her stomach to throw up after the last time, as Thranduil came to stand behind her again. This time at least he didn't have to hold her hair back after he pinned it using his own hair adornments on the last occasion. He didn't recall her being motion sick at all when he had taken her back to Erebor on his stag the last time.
He looked over at Gandalf, watching the wizard as he curiously observed the young woman retching on her hands and knees again.
A moment later she stood back up satisfied that her nausea had passed, washing her hands and face with the water from Thranduil's skein. She too was surprised at her new found motion sickness. But then she had lacked an appetite recently. There had been so much on her mind.
"This is not due to the journey." Thranduil stood nearer the Grey One thoughtfully now. "My stag is smoother than a pony, and I have seen her riding a pony…"
"Hmmmmm…." Gandalf continued to watch her, a little amused now.
"Gandalf." Thranduil became more irked at his expression. He had seen the symptoms in his own wife many moons ago, and the gravity of the situation was now dawning on him. It made him care for the woman a little more. If he had his way he would keep her in Greenwood, his healers were far superior to the dwarves ones and he could protect her better than the dwarf. But he wondered whether the wizard had known all along. "I do not need more trouble with the dwarf! Did you know about this?"
"How would I know about this, Thranduil?" Gandalf looked at him with obvious innocence of the matter. "I set off on my search the day after they were wed."
"Do not take me for a fool Gandalf." Thranduil snapped back. "Does she know?"
"Not yet…" Gandalf quietly mumbled. "At least it appears not.."
They looked at each other with a slight concern fully expecting a visit from Thorin any moment.
"Come now, my dear. We are not far off." Thranduil patted his stag, who instinctively knew what it's master required from it and began walking ahead. He then turned to Shobha and before she could protest scooped her into his arms. "It will be quicker, and gentler, if I should carry you the rest of the way. It is not far –"
"I can walk –"
"Not as fast as I can." And with a firm look he carried on feeling her finally give in and relax in his arms as he strode on.
...
By the time they reached the bridge to his Halls, she had fallen asleep against him. He shook his head attempting to dismiss his softening towards her, feeling the wizard watching him closely.
Thranduil lowered her gently onto a couch in one of his drawing rooms and Gandalf sat down in a grand armchair opposite. His old bones ached from the many days of journeying he had undertaken.
"I expect Thorin will arrive soon," he reached into a pocket and pulled out his pipe, only to receive a stern shake of the head from Thranduil. He would be damned if he allowed the Grey Pilgrim to smoke in his Palace.
"I have informed the guards at the gate." He continued to watch the wizard coldly until he put the pipe away once more.
"You cannot keep her here." Gandalf looked at him suspiciously.
"... Keep who here?" Shobha stretched herself. "Sorry I fell asleep that was a... tough journey..."
"Yes, it was." Gandalf smiled softly. "Are you feeling better my dear?"
"I guess." She sat up trying to assess what had been the topic of conversation between them based on their awkward glances at one another. "So what's up... What have you found out about me? Why has this all happened?"
"My dear, it is not as straightforward as that.. we have found two parts of a hidden prophesy. One which was hidden in an ancient library, the other half kept here for safekeeping."
"It would make sense that it might be in reference to you. But not certain, as no names ever are mentioned in prophesies." Thranduil added.
"So I have left in a hurry. Thorin is probably on his way here, seething with anger, ready to start another war. All because of some vague reason." She stood up and put her hands on her hips. That journey here and the nausea left her exhausted and irritated.
"Are you afraid -" Thranduil smirked, but she cut him off.
"No, I can handle him. But I would rather not have to. I feel a bit tired really..."
"Hmmmm..." Gandalf smiled knowingly.
"Oh God, well just tell me what it is then..." this was the first lengthy conversation she had with anyone excepting the injured and Aro's parents.
"This was a prophesy sought to be destroyed by Morgoth, for he thought it was about him. But actually it is about a more insidious darkness that can pervade and corrupt all our hearts good and bad alike. And only one being offered such corruption dressed in a beautiful skin..." Gandalf began.
"Sauron." Shobha nodded in understanding.
"And so Sauron realising it was about him, sought to divide all the races and the leaders within each race by offering power to some and not others in the form of the Rings. If the elders did not stand together, and each race was divided, then there would be no chance that they would band together. But the dwarves, they hail the King under the Mountain as their one true King, as he holds the Arkenstone. The orcs were set upon the heirs of Durin in hopes that the quest to retake Erebor would fail."
"But what has that got to do with me...?"
"Thorin did not rule under the Arkenstone at first. He feared it after his dragon sickness," Thranduil corrected her. "It was evident for anyone to see that."
"But something changed when he met you, my dear. You gave him strength to become the King he was always meant to be." Gandalf's pale blue eyes twinkled as he smiled again. "But there is more and in truth I didn't think about it until Lady Galadriel reminded me of that prophesy after she met you. She has no doubt it is about you. So I have travelled to Imladris to find some of the scrolls recorded by Pengolodh of Gondolin. An old prophesy made by one unnamed from Noldor… about a woman, who would wed a King to rule many Kingdoms, and bear him a child, half-man, half-dwarf. That child, grown, would stand in the way of darkness and carry his Kingdom to victory, bringing peace to Arda."
"But this is not the end of the prophesy. It was divided in two parts, the second hidden here, in my library." Thranduil lazily poured a glass of water without looking at them, before then offering it to her, which she gratefully accepted. Before he returned to pouring a second and third glass of wine. "The second part is signed with the same unrecognised seal. That is how we came to agree it is the second part. Also on its own it makes little sense, but now together, it is clear."
She watched him pause for a moment as he turned to hand Gandalf a glass of wine before taking his own and coming to stand unhurriedly by a window looking out before continuing.
"It states that the child's mother would be key, arriving from another distant land. Releasing his father from savagery and isolation, giving strength to both father and son. She will not be a warrior, but rather her softness, love and compassion will be their guiding force. And 'they, these Kings of many Kingdoms, will kneel only before her.' That is the prophesy complete." He carried on looking away. His heart still recalling his lost wife. "I always believed that prophesy spoke about my wife. But I do not rule over several Kingdoms, and my wife is not from a distant land."
"I had heard the prophesy before too, but I thought it referred to Thror and Raena, although she was a half dwarf herself, and not of the race of men. Unfortunately, while she eased his gold sickness, she could not save him." Gandalf took a sip of his wine and carried on. "It was Lady Galadriel, who said she had met you, and confirmed that you had saved Thorin from the sickness, believing that all future generations of Durin Sons would now rule under the Kings Jewel without succumbing. And so we believe this prophesy might be referring to you, my dear…"
Shobha took a big gulp of her water and then suddenly noticed she had not been invited to Thranduil and Gandalf's wine party! She could have used a stiff drink right about now!
"This may sound weird, but I had a strange dream about Aulë and Yavanna…"
"Yes, the reason you sent Allon to find me." Gandalf took another sip, while Shobha watched before speaking.
"They warned me of impending danger. And at first I thought they meant Thorin, but Yavanna insisted it was me." She looked at Thranduil who languidly took a seat followed by another sip of his glass of ruby coloured wine. She didn't like wine, but suddenly felt very left out for not even being offered a glass. "And what is up with your wine?! Jeez! Just forget it!"
Gandalf looked at Thranduil sidelong, and the elvenking only smirked again, crossing his longs legs.
"My Dorwinion would be far too strong for you, my dear."
"The point is, my dear Shobha, that you were targeted by the orc army, but they were merely carrying out an order. It is the ones who control the orcs that we must identify, for the orcs have been bought for their services.." Gandalf spoke seriously.
"And you think Thorin will figure that out from the Blacklocks who turned against everyone?"
"I suspect they too were used for their hatred against your King, and they themselves work for a darker Master." Gandalf finally concluded.
"But why me? Because I might have a baby.." She spoke incredulous. Surely she had only arrived in Arda not long ago, how could anyone have even heard of her? She had never even left Erebor!
"The Lady of Lothlorien has seen more in her mirror. But that is why we all believe perhaps that you should travel there yourself, for the mirror will reveal what might come to pass for the one, who themselves, glance into its still waters." Thranduil explained. "I could escort you myself –"
But they were interrupted by an urgent knock on the door, and as Thranduil answered a guard in Sindarin, there was clear angry shouting emanating from further along the corridor.
Turning to face her, with an irked look he spoke coldly.
"It appears your husband has arrived, is demanding to see you," he stood aside from the door. "And is somewhat intoxicated…"
"Said the Wino." She muttered setting her glass back on the side table. "Let me see him please."
"Are you sure? Perhaps you would be safer in your state if he has a night to sleep it off?"
"My state…?! What the… Uh.. Seriously, I just need to see him." She suddenly felt guilty about having upped and left without letting him know. If he had done the same to her, she would have felt terrible, and the least she owed him was an explanation. So long as he was not too angry or stubborn to listen!
"Very well, this way my Queen."
...
Dear All,
Thank you for following so far. Please please leave a review to let me know what you think so far xx
special thank yous to my lovely reviewers - thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Your reviews totally made my day :)
VeraViv - thank you so much - welcome to my crazy story. hope you are enjoying it so far :)
UnaLouise - thank you so much. I would never do that and leave it unfinished on such a cliffhanger lol :)
dragonegyptianblue - thank you so much. I felt bad for Aro too. She will be ok once they have that talk... but there are a few more surprises to come ;)
