Her dream had finally faded away as dawn had closed in. She had not dreamt any vivid dreams since the battle, and had taken it as a sign that she had finally rested well after confessing to Thorin that she couldn't sleep in their bed again where she had been tied to the posts. And they had slept in her old bedroom once more.
Thorin had left before dawn had broken, claiming he had many things to prepare before they left, and would be back to collect her for breakfast. In truth he had an important matter to deal with before the sun rose, concerning the prisoners but didn't want to traumatise her by mentioning it.
She didn't know exactly when he would return, but knew there was little time, and yet there were a few things that had to be done before she left.
Her packing was extremely rapid. Mostly underwear, socks, a few clean tunics, and breeches. But chances were she would need to get more clothes along the way given that her stomach was going to expand.
Her first visit was to Princess Vara's apartment. It was still very early, and after initially hesitating, she accepted that what she needed to say could not wait. So she knocked again, louder.
At first there was quiet, followed by some muttering and then movement.
The heavy wooden door opened slightly and a small round face, framed with dark curls peered out, sleepy emerald eyes suddenly widening as they caught sight of their visitor.
"My.. my Queen…" Vara opened the door wider. "Please come in."
She stepped aside inviting Shobha in, who quickly followed.
"My Queen, are you well?" Concern and guilt filled Vara's beautiful green eyes. She was aware that something terrible had happened which the young prince had witnessed. It was clear from the way she had avoided public engagements on the whole. But nothing further had been discussed, and any Ereborians who were privy to further details fiercely guarded this secret.
"Yes, Princess Vara." Shobha smiled at her. She too had been dressed in those giant billowing white night gowns. "Forgive me for being so quick with my visit and for not having visited before –"
"Not at all my lady, it is most understandable." Vara clutched at Shobha's hands. She had wanted to visit and speak to their queen, but the royal Durins formed a protective barrier around her, such that no one was permitted to see her unless she herself allowed it. "I want to thank you for supporting our rescue and for agreeing to accept me as a citizen of Erebor. It is a debt I cannot repay."
Vara suddenly dropped into a curtsy.
"Please Vara," Shobha pulled her up. "You don't need to do all that with me. Consider me a friend…"
The dam nodded vigorously.
"Of course my Queen…"
"Are you finding your stay comfortable?"
"Aye my lady."
"Have you spoken with Fili since he rescued you?"
She blushed but shook her head.
"And Dis?"
"Lady Dis and Lady Mara have been most kind, in helping me settle in." Vara nodded, picking up a blanket and covering her shoulders, offering Shobha a seat. She was glad to hear this, for she had wanted to help the young dam, only she had been too depressed. And so Shobha had asked her sister in law and the royal treasurer's wife to help on her behalf.
"Vara, I can't stay for long… but I am here to ask you whether you could do a few things for me while I am away. Do you think you could?" Shobha politely declined her offer to sit. She would not take long, as there were several more she had to visit.
Vara nodded anyway, even though she was uncertain what the Queen would ask of her. In truth she was surprised that they were even planning on travelling, for surely the Queen would be with child soon. There had even been some rumours suggesting the Kings wife was taken ill with the sickness of gestation, explaining her absence at meals, and other social events.
"I would like you to talk to Fili every day. Don't tell him you are doing it on my behalf. He needs someone to talk to, and Prince Kili is otherwise busy himself. Fili will also be more occupied with official duties, so he will be grateful for someone checking on him, rather than asking him to solve problems…" Shobha smiled. She couldn't be certain, but now she had some understanding of what it meant to be connected to a dwarf. It was a strange bond of dependence. And she was almost certain that Fili's need to save Vara was because she was the other half of him, that called to his very being. It was the same thing that drove Thorin to search for her each time they slept in these oddly vivid dreams that she had.
"But what if he doesn't want to talk to me…?"
"He won't tell you to go away... even if it's for a few minutes, just check on him to make sure he is doing ok. I am sure you will find a way."
"Of course my lady –"
"Please just Shobha is fine." She reassured before adding her final request. "There are two and a half other people I want you to check on for me. Balin is one. Please would you sit with him of dinner at least once a week. He likes the odd break from state discussions, and I used to do that, by sitting with him a few times at supper each week. It also stopped other manipulative lords ruining his meal – you know the sort who will sit with him to ask for favours or discuss some problem."
Vara giggled sweetly, it made her nose wrinkle. Shobha wished that she had gotten to know her a bit more over the last few weeks, for she too had been through so much, having lost her father, escaped a cruel sorceress, and then survived captivity under orcs.
"And, check on Dis and Gael. Dis does a lot of official things as the Kings sister. But she also looks after Gael herself. I used to give her a break by taking him to dinner some evenings, and reading to him on other evenings. I think she will appreciate it if you could do the same…" placing Vara closer to Dis would only bring her closer to Fili still. And if Shobha was right, Dis would undertake any remaining meddling that was needed to bring those two together.
"Aye my lady – I mean, Shobha." Vara followed the woman towards her door, disappointed that she was not staying for longer, her own sleepiness long forgotten. "Please may I ask, why you have entrusted me with these tasks?"
"I once arrived in Erebor like you with nothing but the clothes I wore. Thorin took me in as his guest, but I wanted to earn my keep… you see I worked for a living where I came from so I wanted to be of some use." Shobha opened the door and turned to the young dam again. "I thought you would like the same, if you are to be a princess of Erebor. Oh yes, speaking of which, I have arranged for an allowance for you. If you see Lord Gloin, he will let you know the details. That way you can buy what you need."
"But how have you… I thought Lord Gloin was using the money for housing my people?"
"I have earned some money from working in the infirmary. It's more than I have ever needed or used." Shobha turned to Vara once more before stepping in the doorway and winked. "I am merely paying it forward. And maybe one day you will do the same for someone you believe needs your help."
And with that she gave Vara a hug and set off down the corridor.
"Please my lady, I will not ever be able to repay you for this kindness!" She called out after Shobha.
"I'm not being kind." She called back over her shoulder at the young dam with a wave of her hand as she carried on. And then finished quietly with a chuckle. "I'm being meddlesome."
…
Thorin stood flanked by the Fundin brothers, as Fili and Kili stood behind them. They had not returned to the ruins of Raven Hill for many years now. Even still it felt a most foul place. It was where they had dismembered and burned the bodies of Azog, Bolg and all the dead orcs. They had since been back twice where they had tried and executed two assassins sent to kill the Durin Sons over the last few years. But today felt like a dark day. Here before them were six dwarves, they were bound and knelt before the King. They were held down by Ereborian guards. Behind them all stood a group of Lords from Erebor, the Iron Hills and Orocarni, the elders from each clan.
"You are here, charged of treason, against your own people, punishable by death. Explain the reasons for your actions." Thorin commanded sternly. "And you will be offered the chance of an honourable death before your elders."
None of the dwarves moved. Most had given up, and were near death anyway.
"Do you repent your crimes and betrayal against your people?" Thorin called out.
"No! They are not my people." Came a rasping voice from the dwarf in the centre.
It was Mol. His bruised face was swollen beyond recognition, his eyes so swollen they were merely slits.
Fili shifted behind Thorin, struggling to keep his silence. Kili, placed his hand on his brother's shoulder in solidarity, shaking his head silently. However much it pained him for what he witnessed that day, this was not their moment for revenge.
"In that case have you any final words?" Thorin called at him.
In his grandfathers day, this would have been held as a public trial and execution. Thror believed it to serve as an example for others wishing to defy their laws and proper governance. Thorin had only ever witnessed one such as a young adolescent dwarf, and that day vowed he would never allow such exhibitions to take place again under his rule. Certainly his people and his One had suffered enough at the hands of these dwarves. A public trial would only traumatise those hurt even more. Those who were willing and suited to witness and pass judgement were present.
"My aged mother and father were slaughtered like animals by the Stiffbeards. My sister was taken captive as prisoner. I heard later that she was taken as a servant, and died giving birth to a child – I imagine a conception from rape. I see no punishment here for the Stiffbeards?" Mol rasped. "I have no remorse for what I have done. I only hope that your bride suffers the same, so that you might feel my pain and agony."
Thorin could not account for the sad tale Mol confessed. He understood his anger, but all the same his actions towards his wife and their people were unjustified.
"But the many you have killed or hurt were innocent of any crimes against your clan. You were exacting a vengeance against those who had not committed any crime. For that there can be no mercy, for you showed them none." Thorin looked at the lords stood behind. "Are there any witnesses here who would plead for the mercy of any of the prisoners? Speak now or cast your judgement."
After a period of eerie silence there was a loud cry in unison from all the dwarves that stood behind.
"Amrad."
"Do any object to this?" Thorin called out once more.
And they all stood in the near darkness, silent once more. It was decided then.
Thorin stepped forward to the first prisoner and unsheathed Orchrist, raising it.
"May you receive final judgement by our great father for your crimes," and with that he swung his blade with complete precision. The whooshing sound made by the long blade slicing through the air shattered the deafening silence.
…
Dawn had broken and Shobha had piled her things next to Thorin's in the parlour ready to load onto their ponies. He still hadn't arrived back from where ever it was that he had gone to. She stepped into the corridor of the royal wing once more, but this time Barr saluted her.
"Good morning Barr, do you know whether the King has returned?"
"No my Lady." He was under instructions not to inform her of any further details.
"Do you think he will take much longer?"
"No my Lady."
"Or where on Earth he is?" She grew impatient.
"No my Lady."
"Ok. Then I have two more places to go. To the infirmary first."
"My Queen, the King asks that you rest, and do not strain yourself. I will run any errands you require, or fetch anything you need."
"Nonsense Barr." She set off as the large guard began to follow fast. "I would rather pack my own medical kit. It is hardly a strain."
…
Thorin walked back along the stone bridge to the great gates. He was covered in the blood that had sprayed and spattered from the executions he had carried out by his own hand on Raven Hill.
Dwalin, Balin and the Princes had walked back with him, while the remaining Lords and Draeg were to deal with their remains.
He had been silent during the walk back, wanting to be rid of his filthy blood soaked clothes immediately.
"Are ya alright laddie?" Balin queried gently as they neared the great gates.
"Justice was served today. But it does not feel like a victory."
"Aye. But it needed to be done." Balin attempted to reassure his King. But he too felt the bitterness of how these dwarves had been encouraged to exact their revenge on the Longbeards. "Leaving the prisoners to rot, facing a slow agonising death in the dungeons if not an honourable course for a King to take."
"I could have executed them." Fili offered.
"It is not your place. Nor should your hands be bloodied by such a foul task. If I believed they would not be a threat to our people in future I would have simply banished them. But I take no pleasure in killing them, nor should you, however much you may think they deserve it." Thorin chastised his eldest nephew, even though he understood his sentiments. "They were dwarves driven to despair by their own tragic losses. And those with power took advantage of this vulnerability to have them carry out their bidding."
They stepped into the still empty entrance only to run into Shobha.
Taking one look at Thorin covered in blood, she froze. Her initial happiness to see him rapidly shifting to shock followed by horror at the extent of blood that covered him. She had only ever seen him like that when he had arrived in the nick of time to cut her down from where Mol and his cronies had tied her up. And now seeing him, it brought all the horror back.
He watched her take a step back into Barr, who caught her safely, as Thorin rushed over.
"Thorin?" She stepped towards him cautiously. "Are you…"
"Amralime. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to see this." He moved to touch her and then softly held her hand so as not to get blood on her.
"What's going on –" she hovered closer realising it was not his blood and touched his face. He turned to kiss her hand softly.
"Lets get your pony ready, lass." Dwalin intervened attempting to guide her away but she clutched onto Thorin's hand.
"What happened?" She was focused again, carefully observing all of him. "This is what you were doing this morning?!"
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, my lady. I thought it would upset you… it had to be done." Thorin explained. "Let me wash up and I will explain."
She looked at the rest of them. Dwalin, Balin and the princes were dressed formally wearing some armour, and their boots covered with mud. They had not been to Dale, the path there was not muddy. They had not been hunting, they were dressed too formally for that. It could only be Raven Hill. She had heard of prisoners being executed there before, and shuddered at the thought. And they did still have prisoners. While Mol had been the cause of much suffering and death to many, the thought of their execution was still horrid. It was particularly so when her husband and the father of your unborn baby, who made passionate love to her just last night, was also the executioner, standing there covered in blood.
"The prisoners." She shuddered again. "If I'm correct, then I don't think I want to know."
Fili and Dwalin looked down unable to answer, and Thorin himself appeared to struggle.
"Better get washed and ready laddie, everyone will be coming down for breakfast soon, and it won't do to see their King looking like so." Balin broke the awkward silence. "We need to get the ponies loaded up as well…"
"And I have a couple more things to do." Shobha looked at Barr again, who nodded. He stood behind his Queen proudly, even though he was aware that he would not be permitted to accompany her on their journey. And with that they were soon on their way towards the guest apartments.
They finally stood before one of the further doors, where she knocked gently. Within moments a silver haired dwarf had opened the door.
"My Queen." He croaked. "Ara, our Queen has arrived!"
"Please, Master Varo. I just wanted to enquire how you both were… I don't want to make a fuss really."
"Oh my lady, your visit is greatly honoured. It is no fuss at all." The dwarf's wife rushed forward, curtsying. She had rosy cheeks and warm hazel eyes.
Shobha bowed her head in return, to stop herself from breaking down again. Aro had clearly inherited his mother's beautiful eyes, and his father's build and features.
"I'm sorry I haven't been to see you sooner since Aro's last rites."
"Oh no please do not apologise, my lady. We see you mourning." Ara gently stepped forward and led her through to a couch in their parlour. "You carry the pain of so many in your heart. But you are not at fault, my Queen."
They appeared to have already packed and were ready to leave.
"We are grateful for everything you have done for our lad. He was truly proud to be your guard. And what an honour, to be the youngest royal guard." Varo wiped his eyes proudly. "And the final rites, you carried out as though you were our own."
"In fact his Majesty, visited this morning before before day break to let us know that the traitors were to be sentenced today before dawn. So now we can return knowing all that could be done for for our dear boy, has been carried out."
Shobha nodded understanding this. Thorin had taken on the horrible task of carrying out the sentence himself for the sake of all the dead, and all who mourned.
"There is one more thing I wanted to arrange. I have set a sum of gold aside…"
"We cannot ask for any more, my lady."
"Please, honour me by accepting it." Shobha urged. It was her own money, and she had little need for it all. She didn't really lead a very lavish life despite being Thorin's consort. There were no designer shops, hairdressers, make up, BMWs, phones or computers to spend her money on here. There were ample books in the library for a lifetime, most of her daily clothes were made of softer materials instead of velvet but still not very costly. And Thorin bought her most things that she needed, often getting annoyed and feeling emasculated when she spent her own money! The only extra items she spent money on were jewellery and the odd scented oil, perfume or stick of kohl from the marketplace when a merchant had brought back some items from the eastern lands. So even after giving some to Princess Vara and Aro's parents, she would still have ample left.
Varo and Ara looked at each other hesitantly.
"Please. There is nothing else I can do to ease my own anguish…"
"In that case, my Queen, you must at least let us look after you when you visit the Blue Mountains, although I suspect you would stay at the Kings halls."
"I would like that greatly, thank you." Shobha stood up from the couch to leave. And suddenly she felt lightheaded. Barr and Ara rushed to her side, guiding her back to a seat. "Sorry, I have been very busy over the last day –"
"Don't worry, my lady, your secret is safe with us. We will not tell a soul." Ara looked at her smiling softly. "Varo, fetch our Queen a glass of water please. Just lie back here for a moment, my lady. You can't go around rushing in your condition…"
Shobha looked shocked at the old dam, blushing slightly.
"Should I fetch Master Oin, my Queen?" Surprisingly, it didn't seem like news to Barr either.
"No, lad, our Queen is perfectly fine. She simply needs something to drink. Don't be so surprised, my lady. I am a midwife back in the blue Mountains. I delivered all five of me grandchildren safe and sound among quite a few other babes. Even helped to deliver, Lady Dis' younger Prince! Was much younger back then, mind." Ara handed the glass of water her husband brought, to Shobha, carefully. "Have you had much sickness recently, my lady?"
Shobha nodded as she drank the water.
"That will make ya more prone to the dizziness." Ara smiled. Her smile spread from her dimpled cheeks to reach her warm hazel eyes, exactly like Aro. "Here, Varo, bring us another will ya. I can still recognise the changes in a lass, soon as she is with child. Ya must be almost two months along, my lady."
Shobha looked shocked again at the old midwife.
"Of course, I needn't worry ya, but the Kings heir will no doubt be a large babe. It is good that the elves live so near, and I hear the King of the woodland realm had pledged his allegiance to our King. Ye will be in good hands…"
Shobha could only nod, but wondered how much Thorin was willing to put aside to allow Thranduil's healers to help. The thought of travelling at this point also creating a minor worry in her mind. But if she recalled correctly, the sickness should only last another month, assuming dwarf pregnancies were not dissimilar to humans.
"How long is a dwarf pregnancy Ara?" She asked realising she knew nothing about it.
"Well between eighteen and twenty four months my Queen." Ara smiled understanding her concern behind the query. "But I imagine it will be shorter because of your race lass. But I have never delivered any half-man children. Although there are some amongst us. Ye will see the taller, narrower dwarves, it can be quite easy to spot once you know."
It made her wonder how well accepted their child would be amongst the dwarves. They were very mistrusting of other races – even with her.
"He admired you greatly, my lady – our lad." Varo brought another glass of water for her. "We feared the worst when he sent a raven just before the battle. Said they were honoured to be led by their Queen. Do not grieve much longer, it will not be good for your health when you have a new life to grow within you. Our lad would have wanted to know you were safe and well."
Varo looked at her with his pale blue eyes, now slightly shiny with the threat of a few unshed tears. Taking the glass of water he offered her, she nodded solemnly, unable to find any words for that moment.
After a second glass of water, and a short rest she stood and finally thanking the couple for their kindness left with Barr.
…..
Breakfast was set out in the royal dining room, where the company and their families had all joined Thorin and Shobha. Then he accompanied her to the great gates, where their ponies were all saddled up and loaded with their bags.
Gandalf and Bilbo stood there chatting with Dwalin, Balin and Gloin. They all stopped and smiled at the two of them as they approached followed by the rest of his company, Dis, Gael, Mara, Gimli, Elin and Lena.
"Are you ready my dear?" Gandalf smiled at her.
"Yes… but I didn't expect so many of us…"
"Ya didn't expect to travel in such a small party did ya?" Dwalin smiled. "We have precious cargo to guard now."
"Me too my lady." Bilbo waved awkwardly. "I have a couple more adventures left in me still!"
"Aye, and all this nonsense of packing a medical kit…" Oin grumbled as he got to his pony first and began to climb on. "Who d'ya think is going to look after you lass? This lot will panic every time ya sneeze."
"You will need a scribe to record your journey and all that you discover, my Queen." Ori stepped forward shyly with a bag that was clearly filled with books and parchment.
"And you need someone who can keep an eye on things." Nori stepped beside another pony. "My shadows are trained well enough to operate here without me. I will be more useful amongst the elves."
"And I am used to dealing with the elves. But I also can cook," Dori spoke confidently, already on his pony, smiling. He had indeed been there for her when she had gone to see Thranduil, after Thorin had been injured.
"So now we have our company." Thorin smiled at Shobha. "If you still wish to do this?"
She placed her hand on her stomach gently as if confirming to herself that she was indeed still pregnant, and uttered a quiet prayer. Then looking at each of the dwarves, committed to accompanying them, to helping her, she smiled and turning to face Thorin's intense gaze she nodded.
…
Translations
Amrad – death (Khuzdul)
Dear All,
Thank you for following so far – the new adventure begins to find out more
Please please let me know your thoughts comments xx
Special thank yous to you lovely reviewers - you always make my day :) xx
UnaLouise – thank you so much. I get worried about writing the more emotional bits I don't think I am as able to get it down on paper the way it plays out in my head, so I worry when I publish a chapter like that. Even the steamy bits I am fairly new to writing ;) lol
Dragonegyptianblue – thank you so much. I know, I think she almost hesitated to tell Thorin about the pregnancy, in case he would stop her from going to Rivendell. But I think it would have been hard to hide it lol anyway he had fun figuring it out ;) lol
