Title: Blackbird
Author: Oldach's Dream
Summary: Someone or Something is trying to trap Sam within his own mind. Alluring him with the promise of the normal life that he's always wanted. Will Dean be able to save his baby brother before he's gone forever?
Disclaimer: Supernatural defiantly isn't my creation.
Rating: M
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Chapter Eight:
It had been three days.
Three days since he'd woken up in Grandville's psychiatric hospital, and pleaded with whatever higher being may exist, to send him back here. It'd been three days in this reality anyway, he still hadn't figured out how time worked here in comparison to in the real world.
Nor did he care to. All that mattered to him, was that he was now with his family. He had his brother, his girlfriend, and his parents. And he had them all at the same time; he was, for the first time in a long while, truly happy.
He had figured that as long as he kept himself sane, as long as he stayed aware of the fact that this place didn't really exist, as long as he reminded himself constantly that he was swimming around the depths of his own disturbed mind, and that none of this was really happening. Well, then everything would be okay.
All he had to do was wait for his Dean, the real Dean, to go to Denver, find whoever was doing this, kill 'em painfully, and come back to rescue him from the evil clutches of Dr. Kabala.
He'd decided to use his entrapment in this place as vacation time, a priceless resort, an extended dream, a daydream, maybe. Anything really; as long as he didn't start to think of it as his primary world, then he would be safe.
As long as he could keep the two separated, and that shouldn't be too difficult.
Right?
"Good news!" Jessica practically bounded in the room and over to the bed where Sam and Dean had been playing a hand of poker. She grabbed Sam's neck and kissed him hard. "You're getting out today." She smiled widely when they broke apart.
"What's that?" Dean teased. "I couldn't hear you. Your lips were too fused with my brother's."
"Can it." Jess shot him an annoyed look and Sam thought absently that Dean and Jess got along quite well in this place. It was a cute added bonus.
"Today?" Sam asked, slightly taken aback. "Like, now today?"
"No, like tomorrow today." Dean said sarcastically and shook his head in mock sadness. "Dude, I thought you were the one going to college."
"Be quiet." Jess pleaded, even more exasperated. "Sam's going home today, can't you just be happy?"
"Depends," Dean said honestly. "Which home are you guys gonna be staying at?"
"We can't exactly go back to California." Jessica said as if that much should have been obvious. Honestly, Sam had been asking himself the same question. "We're going to be staying with your parents for a while." She directed it at both the brothers. "Until Dr. Malid says your well enough to travel or, you know, we could move back here."
"You could?"
"We could?"
The Winchester boys spoke in unison, ignoring the eye roll Jess shot their way.
"I don't know." She shrugged. "Sam, honey, your not gonna be able to go back to school for a while. Or do anything really, until you get your memory back. Wouldn't you rather stay with your family?"
Sam had realized that he had much stronger family ties here than he had in the other world. The real world, he admonished himself immediately.
This is not real. This is not real. This is not real.
He took a deep breath.
"Yeah, of course I want to stay here." He spoke easily, reaching over and smacking Dean's shoulder lightly. "This lug head owes me thirty bucks anyway."
Dean shook his head in embarrassment. "I used to be able to always beat your ass, what happened?"
Ah, in the real world, winning poker games is our only form of steady income?
In the real world I can't actually beat you, and my Dean's better at poker than you?
Sam just shrugged. He had, after all, promised not to speak of his reality while in the presence of his girlfriend.
"Good." Jess intercepted the conversation. "Sam, Dr. Malid is going to come in and check you out one last time. She said she'd be here soon. After that, we can go home."
She leaned over once again placed a fleeting kiss on his lips. God how he had missed that.
He had considered perhaps, that indulging in the pleasures of this mind game would prove to be disastrous later. But he had decided that if he was going to view this whole situation as a morbid vacation of some sort, then he was going to damn well enjoy it.
Her hand lingered on his chest when she spoke again. "I'm gonna go back and finish unpacking some more of our stuff in the guest room, I'll be back before they let you out."
"I say we ditch her and hit a strip club." Dean had obviously been feeling a bit left out.
"Do and die." Jess said easily and both men laughed.
Jessica had always possessed a certain grace around people. It was one of the first things Sam had noticed about her. She wasn't afraid to say what she wanted, but she was tactful and...Stunning. He remembered, stunning had been the first adjective his brain had come up with for her.
Oddly, he knew that was true, in both realities. But here, he recalled it much more clearly. He was a writer here, he remembered, maybe he was supposed to recall these things.
He marveled again at the curse's power.
Dean simply smirked at his brother's girlfriend, as she headed out the door once again. Jessica still possessed the same passion for life that Sam remembered too. The same drive and determination. The same care-free spirit.
"God I love her." Sam couldn't help but say it out loud. It was something he never got to discuss with his own brother.
"Oh yeah," Dean nodded knowingly. "That much is obvious. Been obvious for a long time. Since the first time I say you too together, actually. Then again," Dean smirked. "Sorry, I forgot you can't remember that, you usually would of punched me or something by now."
"Why's that?" Sam asked, almost afraid of the answer. Slowly but surely, Dean had been filling him in on his life here.
The rest of his family had been a little as well, but Dean was the only one who could tell the stories without sounding uncomfortable. The only one who could recall events, events that should of been common knowledge, and tell them to Sam without cringing and looking away.
So far, Sam had to admit, he could see no chinks in this curse's armor. He could detect no glitch; this world was seemingly flawless. That scared Sam a little.
"The first time I saw Jessica," Dean explained, "She was naked and you were on top of her." He smirked when Sam's eyes widened.
"You caught us having sex!"
"You learned how to lock your door after that night, that's for sure."
"You know, I really wish you just hadn't told me that one." Sam cringed at a few of his own recollections, staring his brother and some random girl caught in the act. Wrong place, wrong time, and Sam had been scarred for life, on several occasions.
Here he was, getting payback, and Dean would never even know.
Dean chucked a pillow at him, "Come on Sammy, that was one of the fun ones."
Sam snorted. "For you maybe."
Dean just laughed. Sam realized that in all the time he'd been here, he hadn't once stopped this Dean from calling him Sammy. Something he usually always did, with the real Dean, when the situation wasn't intense or life threatening in some way.
He wondered about the reasoning behind that, but doubted it was a question this Dean could really answer. It was probably more of a psychological thing tied to the events of late. That, or his own constant uncertainty about how to behave here.
Perhaps, if this world was real, he wouldn't mind Dean calling him Sammy as much as he did in actuality. It was impossible to tell, since this world didn't really exist.
"Mom stopped by yesterday while you were sleeping." Dean informed him casually, as they went back to their game.
"Oh, yeah?" Sam attempted the same casualness, but couldn't quite pull it off.
"Yeah. Actually," he chuckled and shook his head slightly. "She was saying how dad's been bragging to all the guy's at work, talking about how his son's a hero."
"I'm not." Sam insisted.
"Yeah, he was saying how modest you were too." Dean smirked and dealt the cards between them, ignoring the lumps caused by the bunched up hospital blankets.
"I just did what you would of done." Sam pointed out.
Dean worshiped their dad here, in much the same way his Dean did. He always listened to him, and followed his orders. Sam had been much closer to his mom growing up.
Mary had refereed many a fight between the Winchester men.
In this place, John Winchester owned a construction company. Winchester Construction. Other than the lack of an original title, it was one of the most successful construction companies in all of Kansas.
They did everything from common household chores, to actually building houses. John Winchester, it seemed, was an incredibly driven man in every world Sam had ever been a part of.
John had grown used to the idea that his two sons would someday take over the business, and would work for him up until that time.
Dean had followed the plan to a tee. He'd spent two years at a vocational college, getting a small business degree, and then promptly declared that he hated formalized education with a passion.
They had expected Sam to do the same, but Sam had wanted to go to a real college. He wanted to get away from his home town of Lawrence, Kansas. He wanted to do something more than his father and brother. When he'd gotten into Stanford, only Mary had supported his decision to go.
The lines between the two worlds were remarkably easy to follow. Winchester Construction was this curse's, or his mind's, way of interpreting his family's real business. The parallels were the same. Everything was the same. Except his mom.
Mary Winchester was the only reason this John didn't get as angry at his son, as he had in the real world. Her level head and rationality had saved them the drama of a family falling-out. Something for which Sam was forever grateful.
Only he didn't have to be. Because this isn't real.
"Good point." Dean smirked and traded a few of his cards, Sam had to shake his head to remind himself what he was talking about. "Only I woulda killed the bitches myself."
Yeah, this wasn't real.
"Are you scared of airplanes?" Sam's question was seemingly random, but he needed to know how similar the Dean's really were. It hadn't come up verbally before now. They had been focusing more on Sam and his life.
"Uh…yeah." He titled his head slightly, but answered without complaint. He seemed to understand what his brother was doing. "Ever since we were kids and went on that vacation to Disney World." Dean shivered slightly. "There was so much turbulence that those breathing mask things dropped. Scared the fuck outta me. Granted I was six."
"Right." Sam nodded. Of course there had to be a perfectly realistic, normal back-story.
"Favorite band?" He asked guardedly.
"Metallica, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath. Pick one." He chuckled, throwing a card down, and gesturing that it was Sam's turn.
"And let me guess, you drive a 1967 Impala." It didn't need to be in the form of a question.
"Wow." Dean said evenly. "I guess I have good taste in your book too."
"I thought you read it." Sam recalled his brother saying something to that extent.
"I skimmed it." He shrugged. "I read the parts about you and your world. The rest I just kinda…"
"Wanted cliff notes for?" Sam guessed. His brother had never been the reading type. Unless it was absolutely required, or an article accompanying some picture in a lewd magazine.
"A little." He looked sheepish. "In my defense, you haven't edited it yet. So, It was kinda like reading 300 pages of foot notes, with occasional dialogue."
Sam punched his brother lightly. "Like you could do better."
"No, I have a real job." He lifted up his arm and flexed his mussels, as if demonstrating. "Ya pussy."
"Bitch." Sam retaliated, shaking his head, smirking slightly.
"How long before I can kick your ass again?" Dean asked in mock seriousness. "You woke up way too cocky."
"I'm afraid it'll be a while." Dr. Malid announced from the doorway with an amused look on her face. She had obviously heard at least some of the brother's bickering.
"How longs a while?" Dean asked, sitting up slightly straighter.
She made her way fully into the room and stood at the foot of the bed. Both Winchester's, who had been sitting crossed legged, facing each other for their game, turned now to face her.
"Sam, I'm releasing you today. You haven't blacked out in approximately 65 hours. Very impressive, considering how often you were fading in and out when you first woke up."
"Yeah, well." Sam snorted. "There's not much to go back for at the moment."
"That's good." She said, looking honestly pleased. "That's your mind's way of telling you that you don't really belong there."
This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real.
Sam simply nodded. "Yeah, maybe." He humored her.
"Your physical wounds are progressing nicely as well. You're no longer suffering from any internal swelling. Your headaches are fading." She let out a deep breath. "For everything you suffered Sam, you're doing remarkable. It's a miracle if I've ever seen one, that's for sure."
"Hear that, Sammy?" Dean smiled genuinely. "You're a miracle."
"He is indeed." The doctor agreed and Sam felt his cheeks burning, he shrugged slightly.
This wasn't a miracle. It was curse.
He looked at Dean's shining eyes and the doctor's almost proud expression. He thought of kissing Jessica earlier and his mother's hug. The things he'd experienced here that he thought he never would in reality, or never would again.
It didn't feel so much like a curse anymore.
Hours later found Jessica and Sam standing in the center of the guest room, clinging to each other, although not desperately. She was wrapped up in his arms, her head resting comfortably right above his heart, and Sam had been torn between wanting to cry, clinging to her forever, and wanting to push her away, knowing eventually this would end.
Before he had made up his mind to stop thinking. This was Jessica. Secure in his arms, as he thought she never would be again.
"I love you." She mumbled against his chest. "Always and forever."
"I love you." Sam echoed.
They stayed like that for what seemed an eternity. Sam had initiated the hug, unable to resist himself when she had come out of the bathroom dressed for bed. She was clad in the same Smurfs T-shirt that she had been the last time Sam had seen her alive. Before he'd left her to go looking for his dad with his brother.
The reminder had been too brutal, almost knocking him over with it's force. Sam had felt the need to hold her, touch her, like he'd been afraid to do when this world first presented itself to him. So he held her tightly, as his mind drifted to the events of the earlier evening.
The hours pervious had been filled so much with his family that Sam had found it difficult to focus on one thing specifically. So he had stopped trying, and had simply enjoyed the gigantic meal they had eaten together. The feelings of security and love that washed over him
His entire family, everyone who had ever meant anything to him, every single person that Sam had ever loved, was sitting at the same table with him. Joking around, telling stories, asking him to pass the rolls and gravy. As if it was such a common occurrence.
No one else felt the surreal ness that Sam had. For them, this was normal. And it was all Sam had ever wanted.
Which is why he knew it wasn't really happening.
"Are you okay?" Jess's soft voice broke though his remembrances.
"Yeah," he assured. "Just thinking."
"About what?" She questioned. He felt her grab a fistful of the back of his T-shirt, something she had always done subconsciously, when she wanted to be protected.
Sam held her even tighter. "You." He spoke softly and placed a soft kiss in the top of her head. "Always you."
"I was so worried about you." She sounded close to tears. Up until tonight, Jessica had kept up an incredibly brave front, not letting any of her true emotions shine through.
"I know." Sam soothed. "It's okay. I'm here now; I'm always here for you."
"Promise?" And Sam could hear the tears in her voice.
"I'll love you forever." Sam couldn't bring himself to straight-out lie to her. He never had. He'd omitted a lot of things from his childhood, but he had never actually told her something that wasn't true.
It didn't make him feel any less guilty, but it was all he had.
"God Sam." She spoke at a slightly more level tine. "I missed you so much."
Sam spoke the next words without thinking. "It's good to be home."
Sam felt a fleeting surge of anger course through himself.
This isn't real. This...
Jessica let out a contented sigh, before pulling away from Sam slightly. "You ready to go to bed? It's been a long day."
"Yeah." He answered and smiled down at her. Before following her to the Queen Size bed. They got in on their respective sides. Sam on the right, Jessica on the left. Something else that transferred realities.
This isn't re...
Jessica scooted over immediately and curled herself around him, her body molding into his perfectly.
This is...
"Always and forever." She mumbled, already half asleep.
Sam closed his eyes as well.
He never bothered trying to finish the thought.
End chapter.
A/N:
Okay, I appreciate all the reviews I've been getting. And I love that you're all still following the story, even though it's slightly...odd. I encourage you to continue to tell me what you think.
On a different note, there seems to be a bit of confusion about the story itself, and the worlds Sam is a part of.
There are TWO worlds. To put it simply: the one with Dr. Kabala (Which was previously Dr. Arnold - or 'congested guy.' Meaning he switched hospitals - not worlds.)
And the one with Dr. Malid. Where Jessica and Mary are alive.
Two worlds, Two Deans, Two Johns; but only one Sam. Sam is still Sam. He's just in, part of,Two realities.
I wanted to sort out the confusion now, because, hang onto your hats, it's about to get worse. That is to say, more confusing.
If there's still something that's hard to understand, just tell me in a review, and I'll answer as best I can.
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