Title: UNKNOWN

Name: UNKNOWN

Creator of Naruto: WASN'T ME

And that's my slogan.

Chapter 1 The Momodo of The Red Book?

This calls for assistants… Awe screw it that's chapter 1's title for now.

It was a normal day for Naruto after being called a loser by Sasuke.

"Loser" said Sasuke.

"Hey where's Sakura?" asked Naruto at the movie theater.

"Umm lets just say last night me and her got intimate," said Sasuke doing that thing with his first two fingers.

"… Go on…" said Naruto confused.

"That's it," said Sasuke.

"How do you pass your ninja exams!" said Sasuke.

"Instinct" said Naruto.

"Lets go the movies about to start" said Naruto.

They were about to see the 4th Harry Potter movie… until Sakura came running to the meeting point.

"Sasuke you forgot these" said Sakura giving him his… I'm not telling what they are.

"Sakura and you brought them and right in front of Naruto" said Sasuke.

"Its okay he's a hollow head" she said knocking on Naruto's head.

Then Naruto fell to the ground in the same position acting like nothing was happening then.

-Shatter-

Naruto's body shattered and people gathered around. Tears slowly formed in their eyes then they immediately looked at Sakura mad.

"Someone should pick that up" said Naruto behind Sakura eating a churo or however you spell them.

"AH!" jumped sakura.

"Naruto help me out here" said Sakura.

"Uh um…" then he took one of his daggers and stabbed his hand "oops looks like I have to see a doctor" Naruto said stabbing it over and over because of his quick healing.

"I know, Sasuke" said Sakura.

But Sasuke was faking a heart attack and played dead.

"Uh oh" said Sakura then being attacked by the villagers who had pitchforks, guns, and torches.

Results were…

Angry Mob: 1 death.

Sakura: dead.

During the movie…

It was the scene with Harry Potter trying to get the golden egg from the dragon.

"This is so cool!" yelled Naruto.

Then the audience told him to Shut Up.

"Sorry!"

"SHUT UP!"

After the movie…

"Awe man that movie was awesome, ya know sometimes I wish we were actually wizards and attended Hogwarts school for witchcraft and wizardry" said Naruto.

Don't all of us wish that too?

Then an owl dropped a giant package hit Naruto on the head and Naruto fell unconscious.

Later…

Naruto was slowly waking up.

He saw Sasuke and Sakura dragging him to a dumpster.

"Uh guys where are you taking me?" said Naruto.

"Oh we thought you were dead," said Sasuke then whispering under his breath "Dammit".

"Oh ya the owl dropped you this letter" said Sakura.

Naruto opened it.

(Will Wonka jingle when he opens the candy bar and there's the golden ticket)

Naruto was so sleepy he read it like this.

Naruto,

If you don't deliver the goods to Warehouse 13 you and all your friends will get a one-way ticket to hell so bring the goods and you and your friends live and so does your girlfriend.

Signed, Boost Mobile.

What it actually said was that whole crappy letter letting you attend Hogwarts but there was a bonus it included Sasuke and Sakura.

"Quick! To the pope mobile!" said Naruto.

To Be Continued…