AN: Thanks again for all the lovely reviews :D We luff them!
Psycho-WarBaby – love the idea about Jayne and McKay! Here's a link to the source of our Mandarin translations: fireflychinese.home.att (dot) net (we meant to link that earlier, thanks for the reminder!)
Porthos1013 – "Define interesting" ;)
Just another little note – at the time this chapter and previous chapters were written, we hadn't seen the movie (any similarities are purely coincidence :P ). Now that we have… once we've recovered, we'll keep writing this as if it were a prequel (for obvious reasons), so there won't be any movie spoilers.
(Don't kill us, we ARE big Simon/Kaylee shippers. They even melt Mer's cold, cold, anti-ship heart)
Firegate: The Big Damn Circle
By Hah and Mer
- 3. The Grand Tour -
Kaylee thanked Maj. Lorne after he'd escorted her to her room, and immediately skipped over to Inara's room next door and flopped herself down on the bed.
"Do you think all the men here are that pretty?" she sighed. "You know, you could do great business here" Kaylee grinned mischievously.
"I may have to consider it." Inara grinned back. "Come here, let me do your hair so you can impress that cute Colonel you were swooning over… although it's probably his hair I should be brushing…"
"Hey, I think it's cute! You just want to run your hands through it and…" she lost her capacity for speech as her mind listed all the other parts of Shep's body she wanted to run her hands over.
"Careful, mei mei, you're going to drool all over my bed."
"I am not!-" She was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Come in," Inara invited.
The door swished open, and there stood Col. Sheppard in his favorite tight black t-shirt. He too momentarily lost the capacity for speech when he saw the two women sitting so close together on the bed, but quickly recovered with a charming grin.
"Ladies."
"Uh..hi…uh" Kaylee stammered. "We were just doing…hair…wow…hair."
"What she means to say is hello," Inara offered.
"Would either of you be interested in a tour of the city?"
"That sounds delightful" said Inara.
"I'd love to!" replied Kaylee, as she undressed Shep in her mind.
The tour began as Simon and his sister stayed behind to attend to Book, and Zoe and Wash decided they'd rather have a private tour of their room. Shep thought he'd have the women to himself, when Mal crashed his party by agreeing to come along as well. Jayne tagged along in the hopes of seeing that mysterious golden-hair woman again.
They stopped briefly in the gateroom to watch a team depart, and then went on to the infirmary to check on Book. Kaylee and Inara enjoyed the sights, while Jayne ignored the sights and enjoyed the women. Mal followed watchfully, making sure that colonel who was a bit too charming didn't have his sight on Inara.
The cleanliness and technology of the city of Atlantis reminded Mal of the Alliance-controlled central planets, but it didn't give him that feeling of… uncomfortableness. He decided this place had a rightness to it, like the feeling he got when he first set foot aboard Serenity.
As they emerged onto a balcony with one of the best views of the city, there were gasps of awe.
"I haven't seen anything this beautiful since I left my home world, Sihnon," said Inara as the overlooked the city sparkling in the sunlight.
"Shiny…" said Kaylee.
"And your team are the only ones living here?" questioned Mal.
"That's right," replied Shep. "Most of the city we haven't even been able to explore yet."
Jayne, meanwhile, was more enamored with the large railgun that still remained from their last fight with the Wraith.
"Hey, Mal! I've gotta get me one of these. Vera would be jealous." Jayne pretended to fire the gun, complete with sound effects. Inara rolled her eyes.
Shep grinned. "One of those will tear right through a Wraith dart."
"Come again?"
"Oh…I, uh, forgot no one had mentioned them" …so you wouldn't be scared away, he thought to himself.
Shep gave them the brief course of Wraith 101, from their awakening to the last battle and feigned destruction of the city.
"They used to be humans, or near enough to humans, then they mutated…" Shep paused as he shuddered from the memories.
"We call 'em Reavers," said Mal. "Men who spent too long on the edge of space… and now, they ain't men anymore."
"They can suck the life out of you with their hand." Shep illustrated by holding his hand out.
"Woah… uh, ours don't do that."
"Don't worry, I'm sure they won't show up again here any time soon." Shep smiled and tried to lighten the mood.
He knew just what would cheer them up.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
(mess hall)
"…And this is where we have our meals."
Kaylee perked up. "Ooh, is there a buffet?"
"Well, I guess you could call it that… Anyways, you must all be hungry, shall we get something to eat?"
The group got their trays of food and grabbed a table.
"Sorry, it's probably not what you're used to" Shep apologized.
"Yeah," said Jayne with his mouth full, as he stuffed his face, "tastes like real food."
Kaylee giggled as she played with a strange blue substance, and brushed her leg against Shep's under the table.
"We call that jello." He grinned and offered her his cup.
"It's so…wiggly." …tzao gao, was this the best that she could do?
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
After they'd had their fill of jello, the next stop on the tour was the gym. Teyla and Ronon were sparring, and didn't pause as the visitors filed into the room.
"Mind if we hang around for a minute?" Shep asked.
"Not at all," replied Teyla, as she threw Ronon onto the floor.
Jayne was mesmerized by her graceful, fluid motions, her fighting skills, and her combat bikini (mostly the latter). He'd never seen fighting like this before.
He leaned over to Mal, "what's up with the sticks? Shouldn't they, uh, be practicin' guns or somethin'?"
Unfortunately for him, Teyla had overheard his comment. She poked a stick at his chest.
"These 'sticks' are Athosian bantos rods, and it is not just for the skill with the rods that we practice. It is an exercise in speed, strength and agility, and a way to channel our physical energy."
Jayne's brain, as it usually did, picked and chose the words it wanted to hear and ignored the rest.
"I can think of a better way to channel our physical energy," he smirked. "I'll show you my skill with the rod."
"As you wish," she replied, and thrust two spare fighting sticks into his hands.
"Whuh?"
(AN: Athosian bantos rods will henceforth be referred to as sticks, because the author cannot type about rods with a straight face.)
Kaylee and Inara giggled together. This was going to be…interesting.
Teyla toyed with him for a while, easily deflecting his crude swings. Then she went in for the kill, striking him a few times before pinning him to the ground. She straddled him and held a stick to his throat: He was at her mercy. And he liked it. A little too much.
"Looks like you've met your match," said Mal, laughing.
The tour group decided they'd better get moving before Jayne started getting poetical…
"You staying?" Mal asked the still-straddled Jayne.
"Yuh-huh."
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Shep decided they'd had enough wacky fun for one day, and walked the guests back to their quarters. After everyone else had settled in, Kaylee still tagged along with Shep, asking silly questions and finding any excuse to spend more time with her new favorite boytoy.
"Col. Sheppard, this is Dr. Weir," Shep tapped a finger on his earpiece. "Just thought you'd like to know the Daedalus is preparing to land on the East pier."
"Thanks, I'll be right there."
He turned to Kaylee. "I'm sorry, I have to-"
"What's the Daedalus?" she asked, not willing to let him go this easily.
"It's our ship… that's how we get back from Earth."
Kaylee's smile switched to hi-beams. "You have a ship? A spaceship? Can I see it?"
Shep decided saying no to that smile would be a crime, and began concocting ways to sneak her on board without that damned Col. Hardass…err…Caldwell noticing.
"I think I can arrange that," he said with a grin.
"D'ya think we could take a look at the engine room?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
