I'm back! School is done, so its now time to pick up where I left off. I am really sorry that I had to put this on hiatus, but I had NO time to write what-so-ever. But now that I'm back I have plenty of time, and plenty more stories to write. So enjoy! L

The flight from San Francisco to Vegas had taken its toll on Anna who was asleep in his arms. He placed her on his bed and covered her with a blanket. Silently closing the door, he made his way to the kitchen to put a kettle on for some tea. He sat down at the table to wait, putting a folder in front of him. For once he wasn't pouring over work or a new forensics journal, but something personal. It was Anna's personal information, and Sara's will. He opened the folder and sorted through the legal documents until he came upon an envelope, sealed and with his name on it in Sara's handwriting. Grissom opened it slowly and produced several sheets of paper, letters, handwritten to him. He glanced at the dates and began to read the first one.

Grissom,
Where do I begin? I don't even know. I wanted to leave you behind, to have you finally out of my life and start over. I guess that isn't going to be possible. I'm pregnant. I only found out last week, just after I left Vegas. It's yours Grissom, there is no one else. I should be happy, I do want children, but not this way. I don't know what to do now. I am going to start a new job, in a new city, and I'm not prepared to deal with a baby right now. I just want you to know that I don't want you to help, no child support, no charity. If I do this, its going to be on my own. I just thought you should know that one day, there maybe someone knocking on your door to find their father.
Sara

Grissom put down the letter, disturbed by what he read. She sounded so bitter. Had he really made her that angry? Had he hurt her that much? How could she have never sent him this letter, never told him about Anna? He would have helped, he would have found a way. He began reading the next letter.

Grissom,
I couldn't do it. I couldn't destroy the life inside of me, even if it means that my life will change drastically. I had an appointment today, but on the way I began to think about all those cases we've worked on where lives have been cut short to soon. Those people at least had a chance at life, why shouldn't this baby? I have to give it a chance.
Sara

Grissom didn't even want to consider that Sara had thought of an abortion. He realized that the letters were probably never meant to be sent, they were becoming more like journal entries addressed to him. He moved on.

Grissom,
It's been three months now, and I am beginning to show a little. My clothes don't fit the same way, and the morning sickness is brutal. What did you do to me? Sometimes I think of the way you would react if you found out I was pregnant. I know I didn't send the first letter, so you might not know for some time. I wanted to tell you, but think of the consequences. Your position has always been to important to you, would you risk it for this child? You couldn't change your life for me, so what makes me think that you would give it all up now? I'm sorry Griss, but you should be as well.
Sara

He felt his eyes well up with tears. He had really hurt her. She thought he would push away their child like he had her. Grissom felt like the worst man in the universe. He didn't deserve Sara and he certainly didn't deserve Anna.

Grissom,
I felt the baby kick for the first time today. It was the most surreal thing I've ever experienced. I've seen the ultrasound pictures, heard the heart beat, but to feel the kick, the movement, and know that there is a life inside of me is incredible. I dreamt the other night that we were a family. I was back in Vegas and you were holding our baby, sitting in a rocking chair. I guess that's why they call it a dream, a fantasy, cause it will never be reality. But there are times when I wish it could be.
Sara

Grissom noticed the tear stains where the ink had run. He ran his fingers over them, his own tears adding to the paper.

Grissom,
The whole world knows now. I can't hide it any longer. I'm getting bigger every day, and the baby moves and kicks more and more. I put in for maternity leave in two months. I don't know what I'll do while I'm off. You know I'll be back at the lab working on cold cases, something, anything to keep me busy. Greg called the other day. It was nice to hear from him, and to know that all are doing well. He said you were to. Have you moved on? Do you still think of me?
Sara

He nodded his head, of course he thought of her. He could never get her out of his head.

Griss,
I'm going to give birth any day now and it couldn't come any sooner. I feel like a whale. But I'm also scared. What if something goes wrong? What if I can't do this? What if this kid becomes as messed up as I am? My friends say I'll do fine, that I'll make a great mother, but I have doubts. I considered adoption Grissom. For a few weeks I thought the best thing would be to give this baby up. It would have a real home with two parents, and a better life. But I can't. You want to hear the funny part? Part of me can't give this baby up because it's half yours. I like that in a strange way. I always thought that if things were different, you would make a great father. Maybe you'll have your chance one day with someone else, maybe you've already found her.
Sara

He wanted to tell her that there would never be anyone else. She was his everything, and now Anna was. He took comfort in the fact that Sara had stopped writing like she hated him.

Dear Grissom,
She's beautiful. Last night, after thirteen hours of labour, Anna Emily Sidle came into the world. She weighs seven pounds, five ounces, and she's so tiny. I wish you could see her Griss, she has your eyes. I cried right along with her when she opened them because I saw you starring back at me. I called you early this morning, but I hung up on the last ring. I've come this far on my own, I can make it now. Besides, how would I explain this to you? She's awake now, I can hear her starting to fuss. The nurse will be in any second and then its time for her to feed. One day Grissom, I hope you get to meet your daughter.
Sara

Again, he swiped at his eyes, the tears rolling down his cheeks. Why had he missed such a special and important event? He knew he would give anything to go back, to take back all he had said and done to Sara, if only he could have experienced this time with her.

Dear Griss,
Despite all the sleepless nights, feedings and diaper changing's I don't think I would trade this experience for the world. I've always liked challenges, and this is the biggest one I've faced. Yet it's the most rewarding experience. Everyone says she looks like me, but they can't help but ask where she got such blue eyes. I give them the scientific answer, that blue is dominant, and they laugh, but don't ask any more questions about you. The hardest part is not telling Greg or any other of the guys. One day I'll tell them, and one day I'll tell you. I promise.
Sara

He wished she could have kept that promise. He wondered when she would have told him. He flipped through the rest of the letters, detailing everything from Anna's first tooth, her first steps, to her first birthday and on. There were pictures to, from ultrasounds to present. He poured over them, taking in the four and a half years he missed. He vowed never to miss a second from now on. He would have to buy a camera, a video camera too. He would document her milestones like her mother had. He began by grabbing a piece of paper and pen.

Dear Sara…He wrote.

To be continued?