Love, Lust, and Lolicons

Authorship: Averyway Ikelytalelay

Author Notes: Yeah, when I said new fic, you didn't think it would be a FOUNDATION fic did you? HAR HAR HAR. Please read it. Actually, please read Foundation's Edge by Isaac Asimov first, then read it. :D

Sorry it takes so long to update. I get distracted. / But I'm very happy and glad that all of you faithful reviewers still stick with this fic even with my snail-like pace of updating. And I need plot bunnies! SEND 'EM THIS WAY BITCHES!

Jander, my darling robot, ARGH I MADE A MISTAKE WHAT SHALL I DOOO:self destructs, implodes, dies: (...I should finish my Second Foundy picture). WHAT SEX? QUIT TALKING ABOUT SEX! And...I will build up as many complex relationships as I like! Yip yip!

Caution: Look! I deleted the Disclaimer section! Anyway, as for warnings, same old same old: ZanexChazz, dub names, OOCness, etc. etc. et. al.


8. Alexis Punches Zane

"A-HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

Atticus was quite amazed at the volume that Chazz could scream at, and so did nothing for a full five minutes, standing still and listening for a full five minutes--out of amusement, and not shock.

Then the trees beside Atticus rustled, and Misawa came barging in, tailed closely by Jaden and Syrus. All of them looked scared mindless.

"Chazz!" Misawa shouted, in a panicky voice. Before Atticus could do anything, Misawa had bounded by Chazz's side, and had now seized the boy and was shaking him wildly.

Chazz ceased screaming, and turned to stare at Misawa, blinking owlishly.

"What?" he said.

"Oh, God, Chazz," Misawa gasped. "Oh, holy hell. Don't tell me--did Zane do anything to you--you know, like do anyth--oh, holy hell!"

Misawa sucked in his breath, staring at the mass of hickeys on Chazz's still-exposed neck. It took Chazz a moment to realize what Misawa was gawking at, and when he did, he grabbed his collar and yanked it back up to his chin, glaring at Misawa, as if daring him to say more.

"Er...," was all Misawa said.

"Hi, kids!" Atticus said, stepping in front of Chazz--perhaps he had gotten tired of being ignored. "What are you all doing here?"

"We heard Chazz scream," Misawa said simply.

Atticus grinned. "Yeah, Chazz sure can scream!" He took Chazz affectionately by the shoulder and shook, a touch more violently than he had intended. Chazz jerked out of his grip.

"Let go of me," Chazz hissed.

"Aw, come on!" Atticus grabbed Chazz by the shoulder once more, and pulled him close. "Aren't we boyfriends?"

"Come again?" Misawa said. His face, along with Jaden's and Syrus's, was completely confused.

"That's right, guys," Atticus said, making the peace sign with his right hand while holding Chazz with the left. "I'm Chazz's new boyfriend!"

"What about Zane?" Syrus spluttered. "I thought--he--Chazz--wait--Alexis--"

Syrus broke off incoherently. Obviously, the soup-opera-esque net of relationships was too much for him to handle.

Atticus, however, wasted no time in thinking about such things, and merely grinned. "Hey, I don't know about Zane or anyone else, but I do know this is my boyfriend and I love him very much! Even more than ice-cream sundaes! Isn't that right, Chazz?"

"No," Chazz said. He was still struggling to escape from Atticus--and he actually did, twisting free from Atticus and staggering backwards several steps. Atticus, apparently, was not half as strong as Zane--either that, or he didn't bother putting too much effort into keeping his "boyfriend" near.

"Chazz is silly," Atticus said. He ruffled Chazz's hair and smiled. "Come on, Chazz, let's hit the mall or something."

"There's no mall here, genius," Chazz replied. He sounded deeply annoyed, and possibly affronted at being treated so affectionately by Atticus.

"Ha, ha, you're right!" What the hell. Didn't Atticus ever stop smiling? "Then let's go to the beaches and watch the sunset! That's romantic!"

"Shut up," Chazz snapped in response.

"Chazz--" Misawa began.

"You shut up too."

"Well, seeya, kids!" Atticus gave a friendly wave, and his other hand reached out and took Chazz's. Chazz blinked with surprise--this was the first time someone had ever held his hand, as Zane preferred to cut to the quick and dirty and skip all of the fluffy mumbo-jumbo.

Somehow, Chazz was reminded of his long-ago fantasies (it seemed so long ago...had it only been three days? Two days?) of holding Alexis's hand, and guiding her through a happy meadow full of flowers and butterflies, the likes of which were never to be found on Duel Academy, while Alexis giggled and showered him with proclamations of love, and he did likewise.

And now he was holding Alexis's brother's hand, in the middle of the ugly woods, in front of three other idiots, while Alexis's brother laughed and acted stupid.

Ah, how dreams unravel.

Atticus jerked Chazz forward, slipping past the peanut gallery consisting of Misawa, Jaden, and Syrus. Chazz's free hand accidentally brushed Jaden's arm, and for a moment, there was a brief pause--not lasting any perceptible measure of time--where Chazz looked up, met Jaden's eye, and felt an inexplicable emotion rise within himself. An emotion that was definitely not hate.

But the moment was merely that--a moment--and then Chazz found himself being jostled by Atticus, out of the woods.

They walked down the path out of the forest and toward the beach. Chazz maintained an icy silence while Atticus prattled about small-talk subjects such as the weather, the Beatles, and yoga.

Then, suddenly, he said, grinning, "How'd you come to fall in love with Zane?"

"What?" Chazz said. He tripped over a rock jutting out of the ground and catapulted onto Atticus's arm.

Atticus steadied Chazz and smiled, while Chazz looked embarrassed. "You heard me--why the sudden change of heart? You were nuts about Alexis just a few days ago."

"Shut up! I don't love Zane!" Chazz shouted.

Atticus went on, acting as if he hadn't even heard Chazz. "Hey, was that what that late-night meeting was about? When Zane asked me to deliver that note to you? What'd you guys do by the lighthouse? Shack up?"

"No way, you pervert!" Chazz wrenched away from Atticus, glaring. He had the sudden temptation to turn around and run back into the forest--for no discernible purpose whatsoever--and he was nearly about to do it when Atticus, who seemed to have noticed, reached out an arm and stopped him.

"All right, Chazz, I won't press you if it makes you uncomfortable," he said, nearly gently, stooping down so that he and Chazz were eye to eye. "I don't want to embarrass you or pry to deep--you're my boyfriend, after all." His hand was resting against Chazz's cheek, and Chazz wondered vaguely why Atticus's eyes weren't the same as Alexis's--he'd look good if he had those eyes-- "Capische?"

And then Atticus's lips met with Chazz's, briefly, for a fluttering second, in a light butterfly kiss. Atticus straightened up and smiled, as if nothing had happened at all, and went on walking down the path, pulling Chazz with him.

Chazz was surprised. And...well, he wasn't pleased, yet he wasn't disgusted, either. After enduring so much of Zane's devouring, ravaging kisses, something like that was a welcome break.

Of course, he would much prefer to not be kissed at all.

Zane was standing alone by the beach, looking rather bored as he stared at the surf. Chazz was suddenly aware of how Zane's hair blew back in the wind--it was quite entrancing watching those blue strands flying wildly like that... Chazz shook his head vigorously. The day Zane becomes hot, he decided, is the day Jaden gets laid.

Although, unknown to Chazz's constant mind as of yet, the way events were currently proceeding, that day might come very soon.

"Hey, Zaney!" Atticus sang, waving as he bounded down toward Zane. In his haste, he dragged Chazz down with him, and Chazz, unprepared for this, fell onto his face in the sand.

"Oops," Atticus said. Chazz sat up, wiping sand from his eyes, and glared.

"Hi, Atticus. Chazz," Zane said, not moving an inch from his position. He looked vaguely amused, however.

"Whatcha doing here all by your lonesome?" Atticus said, cheerful.

"Waiting for Alexis. I told her I'd meet with her here, so we could go on a date."

Was it just Chazz, or did Zane seem to enunciate that last word, as if making a point of the fact that he and Alexis were dating? Well, whatever it was, it wasn't needed; just the mere mention of Zane and Alexis in the same sentence was enough to irritate Chazz.

"Hey, I was just thinking of going on a date with Chazzy!" Atticus said. "Maybe we could make it a double date!"

"Perhaps," Zane said, sounding rather uninterested.

"Don't call me Chazzy," Chazz hissed at Atticus.

"Why not? It's a cute name." Atticus's smile expanded, and he played with the hair on Chazz's forehead. "Chazzy dazzy razzy."

"What?"

"How do you like Atticus, Chazz?" Zane said, interrupting what might have become a long and possibly bloody argument. "Is he treating you well?"

Chazz scowled heavily. Then, suddenly, before he realized what was happening, he was kissing Zane. No--Zane was kissing him. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Chazz leaned forward, accepting the kiss, almost imploring for more, as Zane's hands--why were Zane's hands so warm?--held the sides of his face, embracing him.

"Zane!"

"Hi Alexis!" Atticus said loudly.

Zane and Chazz instantly broke apart. Sure enough, Atticus was correct. Alexis stood at the edge of the beach, fury in her expression--fury and confusion all at once.

She came storming over, and Chazz quickly disentached himself from Zane, stunned with fear. Never--not once--had he dreamed what would happen if Alexis discovered his relationship with Zane. Now it had happened.

And he knew one thing for sure: she would hate him for the rest of his life.

Or would she?

"Zane, explain yourself!" Alexis was practically screaming as she stormed to Zane's side. "Explain yourself!"

"Well, Alexis--" Zane began, the expression behind his eyes completely unreadable.

"Zane and Chazz are going out," Atticus said succintly.

"Is this true?" Alexis cried, whirling from Atticus back to Zane. Zane, somehow, managed to create a reassuring smile.

"Of course not, Alex--"

"Of course it's true, Alexis!" Atticus cut in loudly, and a confused expression crossed his face. "Jeez, I thought you already knew. Didn't Zane tell you?"

Zane looked as if he wanted nothing better than to take a noose and strangle Atticus until he turned purple and was coughing up blood from his crushed windpipe.

"Zane...why were you...kissing Chazz...?" Alexis said. She sounded completely wounded, and when she looked up at Zane, it was with tears in her eyes. Chazz noticed this, and felt horrible--he was lower than dirt, lower than a dying protozoan in the bottom of the sea, lower than the meanest molecule in a worm's excretions in a sewer dump. So low, because he had made the girl he loved cry just because he decided to have a fling with her evil boyfriend.

"Well--" Zane said, but he never got to finish.

Alexis made a fist and punched Zane in the face--hard. There was the audible sound of bone hitting bone, and Zane teetered, before falling onto the sand. Then she whirled around, her face hidden by a mask of hair, and sprinted off, up the beach and toward the main dorms.

"Whoa!" Atticus cried in disbelief. "Alexis!"

Chazz began to run after Alexis, but Atticus grabbed him by the arm and shook his head, very slightly. "I'll try to talk to her--jeez, I never knew--she sure can punch, can't she?"

Then Atticus had vanished, following Alexis up the slope of the beach. That left just Zane and Chazz alone. Zane was laying on his side, motionless, and for a brief second Chazz wondered if Alexis had killed Zane.

This fear was completely groundless, however, for as Chazz walked over to Zane's side, he saw Zane roll over and groan, his hand to the side of his face where Alexis had socked him. Slowly, Chazz dropped by Zane's side, noticing a large, grotesque purple-and-green bruise forming on Zane's cheek.

"Hey--" he said.

Zane glared at Chazz--an unbelievable glare. This one was not merely angry or hateful--it was evil. With that evil glare on his stoic face, Zane said a few words, softly, but spitefully.

"That girl...is going to...die."


Author's Notes: DEATH THREATS. OMGZ.

Har har. This is turning into a Zane x Atticus x Chazz x Alexis x Jaden love...pentagon. With Chazz in the middle of everyone's affections. Poor Chazz! Who will he choose? IT'S SUSPENSE, MAN!

Wow, I've worked out the converse of the Misawa-makes-chapters-longer equation: it's the Alexis-makes-chapters-shorter equation! Aww god dernit. Sorry to all my faithful reviewers who were expecting something a little more (...and this turns out to be one of those instances when I think the chapter's really short and it turns out to be a million jillion words...)

Review mah hobos!


PS: Movie Rambling Space! Da Vinci Code is being made into a movie, eh? Comes out in May, eh? I'm SO going to see it. Even though I think Tom Hanks or whoeveritis will make a really horrible Robert Langdon. They should have made Dan Brown play Langdon. Lol. He looks like what I imagine Langdon to look like.