Love, Lust, and Lolicons

Authorship: vry Lkltl

Author Notes: OMFRIDGE. WTFRIDGE. FRIDGEFRIDGEFRIDGE. OVER 100 REVIEWS! YOU'RE KIDDING ME RIGHT? HOLY FRIDGE! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE CAREER ON MR. XING'S SITE THAT I'VE GOTTEN SO MANY REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU ALL! YOU ROCK! AND RULE! AND STUFF! PEACE TO THE WHOLE FRIDGING GODDAMNED UNIVERSE RIGHT DOWN TO THE LAST FRIDGING DYING QUASAR AT THE EDGES OF THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY!

Oh god, I made so many stupid little typos in the last chapter and I swear Mr. Xing's site deleted some stuff too. Oh well, what the hell. :doesn't edit anything...too lazy:

I dedicate this chapter to Ladyvella42 for writing reviews (and stories) that make me laugh. And for being such a frood on the 4Kretins forums! Here's to you my lady!

Caution: ZanexChazz, dub names, OOCness...JadenxChazz? Apologies to the person who said they hated this pairing, I do too! We're in the same boat, man:blows kisses:


9. Jaden Kisses Chazz

Jaden Yuki was not in the best of moods.

Oh, he acted like it, sure--he couldn't bear to angst in front of his friends. But behind all of the laughing, the jokes about Chumley's excessive weight, and the preachy chatter about Duel Monsters, Jaden was experiencing severe internal turmoil.

Syrus, perhaps out of fear for Jaden's well-being, or perhaps he was too stunned from seeing Jaden cry, said nothing about the said incident where Jaden cried. It was too unnerving for him. He'd never seen Jaden get that upset over something that didn't involve the words "Duel", or "Monsters".

He remained silent until, while inside Jaden's room, where Jaden was, with false cheer, trying to prod Chumley into a duel, he spoke up.

"Uh...Jaden?" Syrus said. "Shouldn't we...uh...look for Chazz?"

"Yeah, where is Chazz?" asked Chumley suddenly, his first line of dialogue for nine chapters and nearly eighteen thousand words.

"Er...," Jaden said, his grin stretching slightly, and disturbingly, wider. "Yeah, I guess we should look for Chazz. I'm worried about him, after all!"

"Dude, where is Chazz?" Chumley, not enjoying being left in the dark, persisted.

"Snogging Zane on the beach."

All heads in the room turned toward the door--where, lo! and behold, the Queen of Obelisk Blue stood, leaning heavily against the doorframe on an arm with a bruised fist, fury in her face and her hair damp with sweat.

"Alexis!" Jaden, Syrus, and Chumley cried in unison.

"You guys wanna know where your darling fairy Chazz is?" Alexis's voice was rising with anger, to the point where it was becoming screechy. "Oh, I'll tell you. He's probably giving 'CPR' to Zane as we speak, and loving every freaking moment of it."

"Alexis, explain all of this to me!" Syrus, finally snapping, rose to his feet, promptly bashing his head on the bed above him. He fell face forward onto his sheets, but persisted, "I don't understand any of this! All right, first Zane says he loves Chazz, then he says he loves you! Then Misawa says Zane and Chazz are a couple, then Atticus says he and Chazz are a couple, and now you come here and say Zane and Chazz are kissing! Seriously, Alexis, what's going on?"

Alexis looked hurt, and her eyes widened. "What?"

"What!" Syrus screamed.

"Accepting everything you said in chronological order," Alexis mumbled, softly, so that the three Slifer Red students had to struggle to hear her, "then..." Suddenly, her voice rose up in a dramatic crescendo, loud and screechy. "Then Zane was dating Chazz even before me, wasn't he?"

"Uh..." Syrus paused. Then, in a small, timid voice, "...yeah."

The transformation that seized Alexis was nothing short of incredible. Her face tightened, her eyes narrowed, her cheeks reddened until they had the color and intensity of traffic lights. Her hair was even sticking up a little. Basically, she looked ready to begin a mass murder spree.

"You knew?" When her voice came out, it was quiet and controlled--but also scary. "You knew, and you didn't tell me?"

"Uh..." Syrus shrank back, evidently deciding that any further words might get him killed.

"You guys, you're just as bad! Just as bad as Zane and Chazz!" Alexis screamed. "If you knew, you should have told me! You shouldn't have made me look like such a fool! Why, Zane? Why?"

She fell, sobbing, to the floor, and Syrus peered out from beneath the covers, unnerved. Chumley mumbled something under his breath that sounded slightly like, "I have no idea what's going on." But Jaden rose to his feet and walked by to Alexis's side, patting her comfortingly on the back; Syrus suddenly remembered that Jaden was another person whose love had been shattered by Zane.

"It's all right, Alexis," Jaden said. "I don't like Zane either."

Alexis looked up. "Hah?"

"What, Alexis?" Jaden said, sounding innocent as ever.

"What do you mean, you don't like Zane?" Alexis said. Her voice had taken on a hint of urgency. "You're Jaden Yuki--you don't not like anyone--unless they're evil--and even then--" She broke off, staring at Jaden.

"Well, I don't like Zane," and Jaden stuck out his bottom lip slightly as he was saying this, in a rather childish gesture.

"Why?" Alexis said.

"Same reason you don't like him," Jaden said.

"Oh, but Jaden!" Alexis suddenly leaned forward, clinging to Jaden's arm. Her voice was desperate as she went on. "I don't not like Zane--I mean, I don't blame him! It's Chazz's fault, that fairy! Chazz probably seduced Zane! Zane has nothing to do with it!"

"I think it's the other way around," Jaden replied.

"Why?"

Suddenly, Jaden stood up, rising to his feet. "I'm going," he announced, as he headed toward the door.

Alexis was up in an instant, seizing the back of Jaden's coat. "Where?" she demanded. "Are you going to get revenge on Zane? Don't do it, Jaden--"

"Don't worry, Alexis," Jaden said, flashing a brief smile--and for an instant, he was the old, carefree Jaden again. "I just want to get to the bottom of this, that's all. Syrus's right--it's all too confusing."

"Oh, all right," Alexis calmed down noticeably, and relaxed, her tensed shoulders dropping. "In that case, I'll come with you."

"All right, Alexis."

With that, Jaden and Alexis were out the door, while Chumley and Syrus stayed in the room, both still under their bedsheets and staring at the door.

"Uh, Syrus...," Chumley finally said.

"Yeah?" Syrus said.

"Never mind." Chumley rolled over on his bed, pulling his sheets over his head and tucking himself into a snug bundle. "It's too much to think about."

Soap operas were never Chumley's favorite kind of television show.


At the meantime, Zane and Chazz were on the beach together, Zane still laying in the sand while Chazz leaned over him. Zane was a nearly pathetic sight--sprawled on the beach, not even twitching, and sending out no indication that he was even still alive. He was practically a living corpse, but for the murderous glare that lingered in his eyes.

"Hey," Chazz said. "Are you awake? Are you alive? Can you hear me?"

Zane's eyes flicked up to Chazz briefly, moving no other part of his body, not even the tiniest muscle in, say, his left thigh. "Yes, I am awake. Yes, I am alive. Yes, I can hear you."

"Then get up!" Chazz practically screamed, grabbing Zane by the arm and attempting to haul him up. Zane was heavy, however--he wouldn't budge. Then, suddenly, Zane's hand flickered out and hit Chazz heavily across the face, and Chazz fell onto the sand, spluttering indignantly.

Without any trace of emotion, Zane rose, then, seemingly on second thought, flipped around and grabbed Chazz by the chin, roughly.

"Oops, I didn't mean to hit your face," he said. "It's one of the few things you've got going for you."

Then he slammed Chazz back down onto the sand again, and stood up. Without looking back, he began walking at a leisurely pace toward what seemed to be a premeditated destination.

"Hey!" Chazz jerked upwards, his expression--and his voice--furious. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Obviously, I'm going to find Alexis and kill her," Zane said. He sounded perfectly calm--and perfectly serious.

"Are you being serious?"

"That girl pissed me off," Zane replied. "This is payback."

"Are you kidding?" Chazz suddenly darted in front of Zane, holding his hands out in an uncharacteristically heroic gesture. "You can't kill someone just because they punched you or whatever! Besides, you deserved that!"

Zane sighed dramatically. "For God's sake, why does everyone defend Alexis? What, is it because she's a girl? I see no reason why that means she deserves special treatment."

"That's not it!" Chazz said, and a slight blush spread across his face. "She's a..." He faltered. "She's a really...pretty...girl..."

"So what?" Zane snapped in reply, and it was obvious that he was becoming angered. "That just means she's a slutty bitch. I don't care if you and the rest of this freaking island thinks she's pretty. To me, she's just another girl."

"What are you talking about?"

Zane seized Chazz by the arm, suddenly, and leaned in until his face and Chazz's were barely an inch apart. In an almost chilling voice, Zane said, "Girls are disgusting."

Chazz stared blankly at Zane. "What--"

But Zane cut Chazz off with a swift kiss, a ravaging kiss that sealed off Chazz's mouth, allowing not even the slightest gap for air to escape. Chazz's moan died in his throat as, instinctively, his hands went up to Zane's face.

Zane tore away from the kiss roughly and pushed Chazz away, however, before any real making out could begin. Then, with a completely unreadable expression, he gave Chazz one last glance before departing.

For several minutes, Chazz stood by himself on the beach, his hands up to his mouth. That last kiss--it had been brutal and disturbing, yet at the same time--

Then he was jolted back to his senses when he remembered Zane's threat. "I'm going to find Alexis and kill her..."

He turned.

Alexis was in grave danger.


At the same time Zane and Chazz were having their little spat, Jaden and Alexis were walking from the Osiris Red dorm to the beach, looking for Chazz and Zane--who, Alexis swore, they would find together.

"They're practically attached by the hip," she raved, gesturing wildly. "Honestly--you'd think there was superglue on their lips or something, or that they're made out of velcro--I mean, they keep getting stuck to each other, get what I mean?" This ranting was quite ridiculous as Alexis had only seen one fleeting instance of Chazz and Zane together behaving romantically--one instance that hadn't even lasted half a minute. Still, in this case, the jumping to conclusions was not entirely incorrect.

"Uh, yeah...," Jaden said, a touch more awkwardly than what was considered "normal" for Jaden. Alexis's descriptions of Chazz and Zane's loverlyness weren't helping Jaden's broken heart.

"Honestly, I hope Zane's boyfriend just goes ahead and dies!" Alexis snapped. "And I'd like to help with the process myself."

"Hey, Chazz is my boyfriend!"

Alexis and Jaden both jumped as Atticus came swinging down from a tree, upside down, his legs wrapped around the branch. He swept back and forth, his arms dangling and his hands brushing the undergrowth as he wore a large pumpkin smile.

"Atticus!" Alexis leaped out of the way as Atticus swung by again, straight in her direction. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, sister dear," Atticus said. He flipped off of the tree and landed on his feet, but when he stood up, he wobbled, and careened into the nearest tree trunk. "Oops, kinda dizzy." --and he giggled like a drunkard.

"Hi Atticus," Jaden said. He looked slightly confused. "Why is Chazz your boyfriend now?"

"Oh, me and Zane decided to share him," Atticus said, brushing bits of leaves off his pants.

"That's ridiculous!" Alexis exploded. "You can't 'share' a person--people aren't toys! What kind of way is that to treat a person--even someone as awful as Chazz?"

"Why's Chazz awful, Lexy?" Atticus said, grinning--a grin that vanished instantly as he suddenly said, "Oh, wait--I forgot. Alexis, run! Leave the island! Leave the country! Get a fake identity! Live underground in a bomb shelter for the rest of your life! Seriously, Alexis! You're in danger!"

"I'm not in the mood for this, Atticus," Alexis said, brushing right past Atticus. "Come on, Jaden, let's go," and she gestured for him with her hand.

"No, Alexis, you don't get it!" Atticus's voice had become progressively more desperate. "I'm being serious! Zane wants to kill you!"

Alexis snorted. "Not if I kill him first."

"I thought you wanted to kill Chazz," Jaden interjected.

"Oh, yeah. Well, I'll kill Chazz, and after that, Zane will see the folly of his ways and fall in love with me!" Alexis's eyes misted over as she stared up at the canopy of the forest above them. A ray of sunlight slipped between the trees and struck her, illuminating her outline and making her seem even more day-dreamy.

"Fantasize all you want, Lex," Atticus said. "We've got to find Zane and convince him not to kill you!"

"Atticus, this is perfectly ridiculous."

"Hey, I see Chazz!" Jaden said suddenly, and this was true--they were right at the edge where the forest cleared and merged into the beach, and, sure enough, Chazz stood on the beach. He had turned toward the direction of the Obelisk Blue dorms, and looked as if he was about to take off running in that direction, when Jaden called out.

"Chazz!"

Without a second thought, Jaden went sprinting down the edge of the beach, waving his arms wildly. Before Chazz had time to react, Jaden had knocked him over, pinning him to the sand. Chazz let out a yell and tried twisting away as Jaden yanked at his hair.

"Chazz, we've been looking for you! We haven't seen you for a long, long time!" Jaden sang.

"Not that long of a time," Chazz shot back. "Get off of me," he added, angrily, but Jaden seemed not to hear nor care.

Meanwhile, Alexis and Atticus, still hidden by the forest, exchanged glances.

"Let's wait here," Atticus suggested. "I want to see what happens."

"What do you mean?" Alexis said, clearly puzzled. "Chazz and Jaden are just going to get into another fight. Big deal."

"No, Alexis," Atticus smiled, and then, posing dramatically, pointed to himself with a fluorish. "When you're a Love God like me, you see these things."

"What things?" Alexis said. She sounded annoyed.

"Well, I've long suspected there was romantic tension between Jaden and Chazz."

Alexis gagged and stumbled backwards. "What?"

Atticus raised a finger to his lips and pressed. "Shh. Watch. And see."


At the meantime, Zane had stopped on his walk toward the Obelisk Blue girl's dorm, and had turned around, back where the smell of sea salt drifted from the beach. Slowly, he headed back, at an ambling, but purposeful, pace, until he could see the silhouettes of two figures standing on the shore. He knew who they were--Jaden and Chazz.

With slitted eyes, and thinly controlled anger, Zane positioned himself behind a large rock, a good distance from the beach--where he could get a good view of Jaden and Chazz, without them noticing him--and waited.


"Get off of me!"

Chazz's cry exploded through the air as the black-haired student shoved at Jaden, struggling to detach him, but it was hopeless: he might as well have been trying to remove a bloodsucking leech.

"Chazz, I missed you!" Jaden sang, before letting out a noise of pain as Chazz kneed him in the crotch.

"Off! Now!" Chazz screamed.

"All right, all right, Chazz," Jaden said, obeying. He stood up sheepishly and put a hand behind his head. "Jeez, I just wanted to say hi to my friend."

"Some way of saying hi." Chazz sat up angrily, brushing sand from the sleeve of his trenchcoat, and looking quite pissed. Jaden broke into a large grin.

"So...uh...how are things going with Zane?" Jaden's smile was starting to look rather strained. Chazz scowled.

"Horrible," he said.

"Huh? Why's that?" Jaden dropped down by Chazz's side.

"He's a nasty, evil, controlling, homicidal bastard," Chazz spat. He began picking at the threads on the hem of his coat, as if he was pretending that each thread was one of Zane's limbs, and he was ripping them off.

"I thought you two were in love," Jaden, obviously confused, said.

"Who told you that?" Chazz whipped around so quickly that there was the audible sound of his neck cracking. He glared at Jaden, seething with murderous intent.

Jaden seemed to notice, for he backed off a little. "Uh...Misawa said..."

"Go tell that yellow nerd to choke himself!" And to demonstrate this, Chazz's hands went out and grabbed Jaden by the neck, quite brutally. Jaden let out a yelp and twisted away, falling down backwards onto the sand.

"Why does everyone think Zane and I are in love?" Chazz ranted, completely oblivious to the fact that his hands were closed around midair, not Jaden. "We're not! He's sexually harrassing me!"

"What's that mean?" Jaden asked, turning slightly.

"It means he's a mofo!" Chazz supplied unhelpfully.

Jaden's arm reached out and took Chazz by the leg, and flipped him over playfully. Then he climbed on top of Chazz, practically straddling the poor boy. He was wearing a large smile--which, to Chazz's eyes, appeared lecherous.

"Get off!" Chazz shouted.

"Chazz, you're silly," Jaden said, poking Chazz in the stomach. Chazz made a noise that sounded almost like a squeak.

Jaden was much too close for comfort. His large brown eyes and lecherous smile filled the entire field of Chazz's vision. Hell, Chazz could even feel Jaden's breath against his neck.

"Chazz...," Jaden said. He was coming closer. How could he possibly be coming closer?

And then Chazz felt that strange emotion within him again, in the pit of his stomach. The same emotion that had gripped him when he made eye contact with Jaden back in the forest. It wasn't hate. It wasn't even lust. It was--

"...I've always wanted to kiss you..." Jaden's voice was inaudible to anyone except for Chazz.

Chazz closed his eyes. "Kiss the hell away."

So Jaden did.


Author's Notes: The most dramatic kiss in the story! DUN DUN DUN. EVERYONE'S WATCHING. AHARHAR.

Wow...this chapter is fecking long (at least, I think it is...) and it doesn't even have Misawa in it! A miracle! I must re-do all of my equations.. ..and if I made typos, I was working on this really fast, so...D;

Anyway, I'll be going to an anime convention for the next three days, so I won't be able to work on this at all. Hope this chapter pleases you. Peace to the universe!


PS: No PS. :D