The Evolution of This Business (a WWE/TNA story)
by P. Dizzle tha Prime Legend Champion

Associative Disclaimer: This story is completely original and fictional.
Proprietary Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing but the story itself.
Rating: T
Summary: The former members of Evolution are in their prime, but facing major problems. After a little thinking, Triple H decides that enough is enough, not only for their problem sources, but the entire wrestling business as well!

Chapter 5
Title: I Care About Me Gets Nothing After All
Show: Monday Night Raw (1/2/2006)
Summary: Ric Flair has to stand through being disrespected by Edge again, only to clinically have his way with the Rated R Superstar.

"You think you know me."

As Edge's music rang all over the area and his FMV was showing on the Titantron, some fans cheered, others jeered, and still others stood silent, awaiting the arrival of Mr. Money in the Bank and his redhead girlfriend, who was once known as the Queen of Extreme. Then, out walked Edge and Lita, dressed in street clothes. The small assortment of "yayes" came again as the next challenger for the Intercontinental Title made his way not to the ring, but to the end of the stage, where the Raw announcers' table rested. They didn't exactly get to the table, however, before Edge began to speak.

"Yeah. Over the past few weeks, I've been cuttin' a lot of flack about how can I disrespect a great legend like Ric Flair who basically paved the way for Superstars like myself to be able to do what we do? How could I be so uncaring about what I say in regards to someone who is guaranteed to be in the Hall of Fame at the end of his career, whether he retires or dies?" he asked. This was mainly repetition of said questions the fans have given him of late. He listened to the somewhat silent mixed reaction, before going on to answer the questions.

"The answer to that question is real simple. One, I'd still be the Rated R Superstar even if there wasn't a Ric Flair. Two, because everything I've been saying about Ric Flair is true."

He received immediate jeers for that comment, but then went on to continue.

"Hey, you guys used to all cheer for me, back when I was Mr. Nice Guy. But now that I'm doing what I want, saying what I want, and (looks at Lita for one second) getting what I want, (boo!) more than half of you have turned against me," he stated. "Let me explain something. While being Mr. 'Stand-up Better than Christian' Edge, I was getting Evolution setups, Intercontinental Championship screw jobs courtesy of Ric Flair among others, and the ability to say that I was married to an unknown named Lisa Ortiz and that I was letting some whiner job idiot who called himself my best friend have the woman I'd actually been wanting practically ever since I saw her back in 2000! In contrast, over the past fourteen months, and even further beyond that in secret, I've been carrying around a brand new persona called 'I Care About Me'. And I've gotta say, it's been working really good. I became a major piece to the World Heavyweight Championship picture for the first time doing 'I Care About Me'. I competed in the Elimination Chamber for the first time ever because of 'I Care About Me'. And around this time, we should know all about it. It was at last year's (wink wink) New Year's Revolution! I became Mr. Money in the Bank (taps his briefcase three times) because of 'I Care About Me'. I beat the toughest wrestler alive, Chris Benoit, in a Last Man Standing match at Backlash last year because of 'I Care About Me'. I won the Gold Rush Tournament to face Batista for his World Title because of 'I Care About Me'. Hey, even Christian Cage, even Christian, benefited from 'I Care About Me', because he and I finally teamed up a couple of times, including a victory over Benjamin and Jericho two weeks before my Money in the Bank victory at WrestleMania. (small cheers) But more importantly, (looks at Lita) I finally got my woman. And I finally got her from both her demonic 'husband' Kane, and from that weak son of a bitch Matt Hardy! (boo!) And last I recall, I won more matches than I lost against both guys. I won my last matches against both guys. Why? For two reasons and two reasons only, and the former is the byproduct of the latter just like everything else. I've got Lita, and I care about me! Oh, but uh, I just realized something. That's where Ric Flair and I somehow have something in common. You don't believe me? Well, you will after this. Take a look at this authentic footage of Ric Flair's road rage incident."

A video on the Titantron which looked like a surveillance taping showed (Ric Flair) riding in his car, wearing one of his robes, singing an old country song that not many people care about these days. Then, he sees someone pass him at what seems to be street racing speed and begins to get angry.

"How dare that sonofabitch cut me off in my town!" (Ric) shouted from within his car. Then, the speeder abruptly stopped on the side of the road, and (Ric) caught up to him, stopped in font of him, and came out of his car talking about teaching the kid a lesson. He walked over to the other car and opened its door. The driver had short hair and wore a "Rated R Superstar" shirt.

"Hey, who are you?" he asked.

"You wanna know who I am? I'm the Nature Boy, Ric Flair!" (Ric) said, going on to "Whoo" in the other driver's face even through being asked what's the problem.

"My problem, is I care about me. I'm the Nature Boy. I care about me. And who the hell, do you think you are, cuttin' me off, in my town! In my town!" (Ric) said, going berserk.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Flair! What else can I say or do?" the driver asked in a pleading tone. Apparently he noticed the drunken tone to (Flair)'s voice and knew he was in some kind of trouble with the (Dirtiest Player in the Game).

"Step out of the car, right now," (Ric) commanded the man. "Step out of the car right now!"

"Okay, okay!" he finally succumbed, leaving the car as commanded. The (Nature Boy) then pinned the driver to the back left door of the car, where he chopped him a couple of times and even raked him in the eye. The man was screaming in agony and pain, begging (Flair) to stop, but when the (Nache) felt disrespected, he felt disrespected. During the whole thing, he kept on going "Whoo!" He even gave the kid a low blow and put him in the Figure Four leglock, "Whooing" through the victim's screams of pain even more. The kid screamed like hell, and (Flair) finally let go.

"Whoo! I'm the Nature Boy! All I care about is me. Just ask Tully. Just ask Arn. Just ask Ole." he said before finally leaving. There it ended.

Back to Raw, with Edge and Lita at the stage, the fans cheered at the entertaining piece of footage.

"That's the kind of production that you've seen since I started caring about me. And that's also the kind of crap Ric Flair has been doing ever since Evolution melted down last year," Edge pointed out. Lita took her opportunity to say something.

"You see, whether it's with the unfortunate divorce with his wife, getting betrayed by his students and his closest friend, or beating up someone on the streets in his hometown, which is apparently the only win he can get, Ric Flair is now transformed from the great 16-time World Heavyweight Champion to an easily destructible shell of the man he used to be," she said, earning jeers and "slut" chants. "Oh, yeah. Boo me. Call me a slut. I really want to know what kind of impact that's supposed to have on me, because I'm not feeling it. Even back when you were all cheering me on, I always considered myself a rebel. Remember back in 2004, after Matt Hardy beat Kane at Vengeance, then Kane and I ended up both being guests on the Highlight Reel? When Kane tried to scare me, and then I told him I'm gonna do what I want when I want, and there's nothing he can do about it? You all were loving that moment. But then, when it finally referred to me getting together with Edge, look what happened to the world. Everyone started turning against me. But I didn't care. After all, I'm a rebel at heart, and Mr. 'I Care About Me' is the epitome of rebellion. While the Nature Boy continues to kiss ass, as he's done throughout the past four years." She then handed the microphone to her boyfriend through more of the boos and "slut" chants.

"Lita! Thank you! Finally, somebody understands. First, it was Stone Cold. Then it was the nWo. Like I'm supposed to be afraid of a bunch of has-beens. (boo!) Then, it was Triple H and Evolution. And now, it's the fans. And never once has being everyone's lackey gotten him back to where he could ever be the World Heavyweight Champion ever again! Meanwhile, I'm one of the mot successful people in this business, and you all swipe at me and Lita every time we walk by, just because Matt Hardy isn't around us! What do you want me to do? Humiliate myself by trying to show up on Smackdown, getting everyone on my case, and finally reaching Matt Hardy, so I can apologize to him and give Lita back to the bumble head? (yeah!) Let me take a line from my past by saying that's how a man portrays stinktatude! (boo!) See, you can hate me. You can turn your back on all the Edge memorabilia you ever got. You can destroy me ten thousand times in video games. But just like Eleanor Roosevelt once said, 'Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent'. I don't feel inferior, because the way I see it, if you hate me and Lita now, you were never an Edgehead to begin with. (boo.) I'm not being Mr. Nice Guy just so you can like me. Remember: I care about me! And Ric Flair cares about himself, but not as much as he cares about everything else. That's why I'm going to beat him for the Intercontinental Title, so it can finally leave that pathetic idiot. He is the world's greatest lackey now, and his life is down the drain. Meanwhile, look at me and Lita. We're on top of the world. Ric, I'm ready to rescue the Intercontinental Championship from your pathetic, kiss-ass life!"

"Whoo!" a voice suddenly was heard. Edge and Lita looked over at the ring where it came from and there was Ric Flair smiling and laughing and in one of his trademark rich suits. He then took off the coat and strutted around a little bit. He was alive tonight, and so was this crowd. The couple were stunned almost instantly as the fans went into a frenzy.

"Hey, Edge! Lita! I hear you talking about how everybody hates you, and everyone's against you because you care about yourself, and you're the most superior Superstar in the WWE anyway," the real Nature Boy finally began. "So maybe you got in an Elimination Chamber, stole someone's girlfriend away from them, and screwed a man who called you his best friend out of his love life, and three months of his career. So what? If you really think you have the crown to this business, then you have got to be kidding me! I may have gone through some tough times lately, and I may not have made myself the center of attention, but I am a 16-time World Heavyweight Champion! And while I was, as you say, kissing Triple H's ass, I was this close (demonstrates by putting thumb and index finger barely apart) to become the Champion for the 17th time! Oh, and since you've made a couple references to your old friends Matt Hardy and Christian, I've got something for ya. A little poll for the people, if you will. Here's the way it works, Edge. I'm going to ask these people whether they think that you, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, or Christian Cage is the greatest wrestler to come out of the Hardy Boyz' tag team rivalry with Edge and Christian."

"Okay. I know for a fact I'm the best, so shoot," Edge said.

"If you think Matt Hardy is the greatest member, give me a 'V1-ahhh!'" Flair shouted out. Many of the fans shouted in accord to the statement.

"If you think Christian Cage is the greatest member, give me a 'Christian Rules!'" the Nature Boy continued. A high part of the crowd was once again in agreement with Ric Flair.

"Okay. So Matt Hardy and Christian Cage have their supporters. What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Edge asked.

"If you think Jeff Hardy is the greatest member, give me an 'Xtreme!'" Ric then beckoned to the crowd. This time, a lesser portion of the audience cheered their butts off with the reaction of 'Xtreme!'.

"And if you think Edge is not only the greatest member of the Attitude tag team rivalry, but also the awesomest wrestler in WWE history, then give me an 'Over the Edge!'" Edge immediately cut in. The 'Over the Edge' response was the one least given. 85 of the crowd was booing Mr. Money in the Bank. And Ric Flair was right there, standing in the middle of the squared circle, going ha-ha-ha. Edge was completely embarrassed, and he couldn't take much more of it. He immediately got to the ramp and ran down into the ring to confront Ric Flair. The two ended up in a fist fight, which Flair got the better advantage of, much to the people's joy. He eventually was able irishwhip Edge, who held on to the ropes and got out of the ring as his girlfriend hopped on Ric Flair in an attempt to choke him out. All the Nache really had to do was back up into the ropes to force her to let go, then attack Lita with the Figure Four in front of her embarrassed boyfriend. Coach was busy calling this a disrespectful assault which was completely uncalled for, while Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler were talking more about the fact that Edge was such a big man for not going in there and rescuing his woman. The fans were cheering and laughing at the so-called "Artist of Awesomeness", who, as if he couldn't do anything more, shouted and ordered Ric Flair to let go. Right when he was finally about to go in, Edge found himself dragged down and his throat gripped by none other than Kane! Apparently, the monster was upset that Edge would mention the way he and Lita tricked the world again. Kane took Edge to the guardrail between ringside and the fans, then threw him over, making sure to warn the people to back away before doing so. It's not like anyone was going to body surf Edge. Kane then took the Walking Kiss of Death out from the Figure Four and threw her over the rail on top of Edge.

"Somebody make the count! She's pinning him!" Kane instructed the people, laughing. Ric Flair came down and also enjoyed himself as about five fans came down and counted the 1-2-3 for Lita's 'pinning' Edge. Ric Flair then got his microphone in the ring again.

"Hey, Edge! How can you be the greatest member of the Awesome vs. Extreme rivalry when you can't even escape being pinned by your own girlfriend!" the Dirtiest Player in the Game asked Edge as the Big Red Monster left with a smile on his face. Payback at last. It was such a sweet thing. Anyway. "Last I recall, Lita never pinned Matt Hardy, she never pinned Jeff Hardy, and she never pinned Christian! And tonight, she just pinned you! You truly are the most pathetic failure alive today and the worst member of your dynasty! Which is why I, the Nature Boy, Ric Flair, who apparently is like you in the sense that he only cares about himself, will kick your ass and retain the Intercontinental Title. Whoo!"

Then, Ric Flair's Space Odyssey entrance music finally came on as he went stylin' and profiliin' in the middle of the ring. He even gave an elbow to the suit coat! He eventually made his tired flop from laughing so much, but even then, he rolled out of the ring, and continued on smiling as he shook hands with some of the fans. Edge and Lita finally got up, and went to the back through the stands.

Triple H was watching and grinning as this was happening. Looking at Ric's retaliation to Edge's embarrassment, he knew for a fact that now the Nature Boy truly was back. This takeover business was going to be easier than he thought. He then walked out of the room. He had business to take care of.