I decided that this was the only chance of loving somebody that I had. But how could I approach this situation calmly? I WAS THE FREAKING ICE QUEEN After moments of thinking, I finally decided that I was going to try and show my true feelings to him. It was the only thing I could do as to not break my OWN heart as well as his.
.:FLASHBACK:.
I was in the girls' bathroom, hyperventilating and staring at myself in the mirror.
"Breathe, Sharpay," I sucked in but quickly let the breath back out. "Well, it's now or never…" I walked out and headed to Troy's desk. He looked up at me but didn't look into my eyes. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked maybe a little too harshly. He nodded. "Follow me." I turned around and went to my secret area of the school. It was behind this tree WAY far away from anybody else's hangout areas. It was my own little alcove where I went if I needed to be alone to think.
My heart was pounding way too hard for my liking and I was sure Troy could hear it. So I began. "Troy…" I was struggling to keep a straight face and my voice in the usual stuck-up way.
"Yeah…?"
"About the gift you gave me, well…" He rolled his eyes.
"I knew you would hate it! I never should have gotten you anything! Whenever I try to do something my heart tells me to, it always turns out wrong!" He was yelling to himself. "I—"
"Troy, stop!" I cut into his rambling. "Here…sit down." I commanded. He did and I sat down across from him. "Listen…I think I…I think I…" I paused. I looked away at the building in the distance. "Like you too." Those last three words came out just above a whisper. God, I could just imagine how red my face was at that moment.
"You…you…you what?" He stuttered, not wanting to believe what he was hearing. I smiled a tiny bit. It was miniscule, but it WAS a smile.
"It's true…for years now…" My mind wandered off. "But it's hard! You don't know what it's like to---" I stopped myself before I spilled anything. Jesus, Sharpay, you idiot! Shut your mouth before you tell him anything he doesn't need to know!
"To what?" He asked suspiciously. Come on, Shar, think of something!
"To…admit my feelings to anyone because they all hate me." Okay, Sharpay. Nice save. Breathe in, breathe out.
"Oh…but that's not true!" He flushed. Not everybody hates you."
"Yeah, right."
"I don't," I stared at him. "I never did. I knew you could be a good person deep inside, under that…that…"
I smirked. "Attitude?"
"Yeah."
"But you always teased me and stuff! I was only defending myself whenever I snapped back at you."
"I'm sorry…really I am."
Come on, Sharpay, just say it. Say you're sorry, too! Because you are! Any day now. God, Sharpay, just say it already! "I-I'm really sorry too. It's just that…it's just that I'm SCARED, Troy!" I whined.
He looked at me weirdly. "Of what?"
"I don't think I can live like this! Whenever I feel like everything's going perfectly, someone—er SOMETHING always comes up and destroys the moment! That's why I lock everybody except Ryan out of my life! I'm scared of letting myself be happy!" Oh god, was I crying again? I hastily wiped away two tears that had made their way down my face. "I don't want to be hurt again…"
Troy looked pretty scared himself! But then the bell rang.
"I can…try and help you to be…happier, Sharpay." I looked at him. "I'll try and make sure, um, that you don't get hurt again…" He said cautiously, in case he was saying the wrong thing. He stood up and extended his hand out to me. I took it and we started to walk to the school.
"That would be great."
He grinned. "So does that mean we're…together?"
"I think it does."
.:END OF FLASHBACK:.
Troy and I were a couple throughout seventh grade and the beginning of eighth. Would you believe that my Ice Princess qualities disappeared for a while? Yeah, they did. In eighth grade, I even shared my first kiss with Troy! My first KISS. With Troy! I was opening up myself to more people than before. The darkness turned to light for a bit.
But yes, the darkness always returns, even darker than before.
Coming up next:
The ambulance arrived. But it was too late. She was already gone.
