We're still in Kara's subconscious. More clues are revealed, and I hope I'm not confusing anybody. Please review – it's my bread and butter.

Chapter 14

Upon stepping through the door, Kara found herself in a meadow, at night, with a warm breeze blowing. There were hundreds of fireflies flitting to and fro, up and down. She moved forward, and some of them started to approach her. Up close, she saw that they weren't actually fireflies but little balls of light, and as each of them floated up to her face to caress her cheek, she started to understand.

"Hi, everybody," she said, waving.

The lights represented everyone she had ever cared about – the first to approach her being the most recent. The "fireflies" parted way as she journeyed farther into the meadow. At the other side, was a small, protected glade shielded by close-growing trees. There was only enough room to enter for a single body to pass through. Curiously, she started forward to look, but someone popped up to block her way.

"No one's allowed to pass, pet."

"What's in there?" Kara tried to peek around him.

"That's the birthplace for all your future loves. They're all cozy in their little pods, waitin' for the right moment. Wouldn't want to disrupt the future, now, would you, luv?"

She smiled indulgently. "No, of course not. It figures, that my head would appoint you as my watchdog. Anything else you're guarding, Spike?"

His hand brushed a strand of hair off her face, and she felt the glow of love like from the other lights. "No, pet. This is a safe place, as you probably already know. The only other thing guarded here, is by her, and no one bothers it." He pointed at a free-standing door guarded by a figure currently in shadow.

Kara nodded in thanks, and set off to investigate what she was hiding in here. The figure standing in front of the door was in direct contrast to her current appearance. Kara was dressed in a floaty, white gown for this place (she had been in jeans and a t-shirt when she entered the hallway). The other girl was in all black, including a hood that partially shielded her face from the ambient light. It was her younger self, and Kara immediately understood what was behind the door. She reached for the knob.

"You don't want to go in there!" her younger self warned.

"But I think I need to." Kara twisted the knob and opened the door. She stepped across the threshold and found herself in a little room. A young girl was playing with a little tea set.

"Hello, Katie," she said, sitting down on one of the tiny chairs across from the girl.

"Have you come to let me out to play?" Katie asked.

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Spike blew out another puff of smoke. He was pacing back and forth in the garden, muttering to himself. He shouldn't have yelled at her, she was just cranky from the blood loss, and he had been crowding her.

He wasn't supposed to feel guilty. Soulless vampire, damnit. Of course, he wasn't supposed to love as deeply as he did, either. And that was the real crux of the matter. He hadn't lived so removed from humans to not know that hurting the one you love should make you feel badly – does make you feel bad. He'd even felt…remorse…on a couple occasions with Dru. So really, the guilt wasn't the problem. Losing control of his demon and enjoying Kara's blood was.

He still felt juiced from it, hyper, even. And not a good fight to be had for miles. Where was a careless demon to beat up when you needed one?

Torn between going upstairs to apologize and burning off the excess energy, Spike finally decided to take a run into the wilderness beyond the back fence. He vaulted over the fence and was just about to pass a copse of trees when he spotted a shadow that moved.

'Hello. What do we have here?' he thought. He ducked around the other side of the trees and pounced…on a very familiar shape.

"Argh, Clem! What are you doin' out here at soddin' midnight!" Spike growled.

The floppy-eared demon held up a box, grinning guilelessly at his best friend. "Birthday present, for Kara. I was just going to leave it on the back porch, since I couldn't come to the party. How'd it go, anyway?"

Spike extended a hand to help Clem up. "Fine. Good. She was happy, we had cake, everybody got along – it was just peachy."

"That's great. Is Kara still up?"

"Uh, no. All the excitement, you know, just plum wore 'er out. I'll let her know you came by, and you can call tomorrow. What's in the box?"

"Oh! Um, nothing bad, or demonic, you know. Just a-" The box wiggled, and mewed

Spike lifted the lid and immediately had an armful of scrambling kitten. It climbed onto his shoulder, pressing close to his neck and digging claws in, growling and hissing at Clem from its perch.

"Doesn't seem to like you, mate. Try to eat this one before you decided to bring it by? Ow! Ow! Watch the claws!" Spike tried removing the kitten from his shoulder without getting his t-shirt ripped.

It could be said that the wrinkly-skinned demon was blushing. He tried for his best "don't kill me" smile. "This one got loose in my apartment after I brought my winnings home. Bit me a few times trying to catch it. See?" He held up his bandaged fingers. "So, I figured it would be a good one for Kara, since it's a survivor, you know? Pretty sure it's a female, but you can't always be sure at that age. Please don't be mad, Spike. I can get her something else, if you really want me to."

Spike held the kitten up at eye level, possibly judging its character, before he announced his decision. "No, it's fine," he sighed. "You brought the little bugger all this way. The least we can do is let Kara decide, eh? She already has two."

Clem's shoulders sagged in relief. "Okay. Well, it is late, so I should be heading back. See you for poker this week?"

"Yeah, mate. Wouldn't miss it," Spike answered distractedly. He was fumbling with how best to carry the kitten back to the house.

Clem just shook his head in amusement and headed off into the night.

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"Katie, you know you can't go outside. You aren't strong enough," the younger Kara cut in.

"Sure I am. See?" Katie hopped up on the bed and started bouncing up and down. "I can do this for a long time. I don't understand why I have to play in here all the time!"

"It's for the best," Younger Kara snapped. She turned to Kara. "You, of all people, know! Tell her!"

"Could you give us a few moments alone, please?" Kara asked.

"I don't know…"

"Please. She's safe right now. Just give us some time to talk."

Younger Kara looked back and forth between the bouncing Katie and Kara for a few moments, before nodding in consent. "Okay. I'll be right outside."

Katie climbed down from the bed once she was gone, and resumed her seat at the tea table.

"She's no fun," Katie complained. "I never get to play with the others, never have anyone but her for tea, and she treats me like I'm sick. I've never been sick here." She gestured for Kara to come closer, for telling her a secret. "I think I make her sad."

"Oh, Katie, it's not you that makes her sad. You're perfect the way you are. You're almost 7, right?"

"Uh huh! In Au-gust. Can I have cupcakes?"

"Can I…?"

"May I…have cupcakes? A girl has cupcakes in my book, and they look yummy."

"We'll see what we can do. You're the perfect mix of your parents, you know that? You'll be a very pretty young woman some day."

Katie's little round cheeks blushed bright pink, and she ducked her head. She was on the small side for her age, with long brown curls, and golden hazel eyes. Her skin was naturally darker than either of the Kara's, slightly olive to hint at the heritage of her father. She wore a blue sundress with tiny teddy bears printed on it, and white sandals.

The room was painted pale yellow. There was a bed, a long, low bookshelf, the little table and chairs, a dresser, and a dollhouse in the corner. Katie had lots of stuffed animals, and the shelves were full of books. There was a stack of board games next to that. Everything was here a little girl would want, but what else would she imagine for a child, in her head?

"Thanks. You're pretty, too. I tell the other one she's pretty, too, but she doesn't smile much. Will you play Candyland with me?" she asked hopefully.

"I'd love to, Katie, but I don't have much time today. Besides, it's long been dark outside. Shouldn't you be going to bed?" Kara said gently.

The little girl looked at the window, then looked back at Kara. "I guess. Will you sing me to sleep?"

"Of course, sweetie. Which song would you like tonight?"

"'Hush, be still'?"

"Okay. 'Hush, be still, as any mouse. There's a baby in the house'," she tried, but her voice broke. "How about 'Once Upon A December'? Do you know that one?"

"Unh uh."

"I'll sing it for you, then. Let's get you ready for bed, okay?"

Kara helped Katie change into a Care Bears nightgown. The little girl brushed her teeth, had a sip of water, then used the bathroom. She walked out and climbed into bed, patting the space next to her. Kara sat down and wrapped her arms around Katie, nuzzling into her hair. She smelled like bubble gum shampoo. Kara marveled at how real the little girl felt in her arms, how warm and soft and solid she was. Katie got comfortable, then announced she was ready for her song.

"Impatient, aren't you?" Kara said, tickling her side.

She giggled. "The other one never sings to me. Please?"

"Okay, since you've been so good for me.

'Dancing bears,

Painted wings,

Things I almost remember,

And a song someone sings

Once upon a December.

Someone holds me safe and warm.

Horses prance through a silver storm.

Figures dancing gracefully

Across my memory

Far away, long ago,

Glowing dim as an ember,

Things my heart

Used to know,

Things it yearns to remember…

And a song

Someone sings

Once upon a December.'" Kara had rocked the girl back and forth with the rhythm of the song, and now Katie's eyes were drooping.

"That was pretty, but it sounded sad, too. Are you sad, like her?"

"Sometimes, but I've had longer to grow beyond being sad like she is. Katie, do you know why she's sad?" Kara asked directly.

"Uh huh. She said she lost something special to her."

"That's right. So, don't be mad that she's been protective of you. She just doesn't want to lose you, too. She loves you very much. Always will," Kara said, offering the girl a smile.

"I know. Will you ask her to let me play outside?"

"I think you're good to go. Goodnight, Katie." Kara bent over and kissed the little girl, receiving a slightly wet kiss and strong hug in return.

She tucked Katie in snugly, then walked to the door, turning out the light. As she was turning the knob, Kara heard a sweet, little voice say:

"Thank you, Mommy."

Tears started to well up as she replied, "You're welcome, baby. Sweet dreams."

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The door and room disappeared when Kara left, leaving a little glowing light that flitted off to join the others.

"What did you do! I need her!" Kara's younger self yelled in anguish. She flew at Kara, who quickly had her in a submission hold, unable to move.

"And she's right here! Look! She's playing with the others, just like she's meant to be. Look at me. The thought of who she could have been will always be here," Kara pointed at her counterpoint's chest. "And here," pointing at her head. "But it's time we let go. We have too much to face to keep living in the past."

The younger Kara dropped her head. "I know, but what if it happens again?" she asked, choking on the words. "I can't take that kind of pain again. It nearly destroyed me.

"It can't, you know that. It's impossible," Kara insisted.

"That's right, you don't remember our glimpse of what's to come." The other Kara tipped her head inquisitively. "Or, do you?" Kara turned away, starting to leave. "You remember now, what you had Tara disguise from you so you could choose of your own free will. Kara, stop!"

Tara lit the candles, then started adding the ingredients in to the bowl while saying the incantation. She filled in the appropriate names. The picture was the last thing to be added before dropping in a lit match. There was a 'poof' with a little puff of smoke, and the spell was completed. She would call Giles and Joyce in the morning to let them know not to bring up the matter in conversation.

Kara slept peacefully, nary the wiser, and free to choose.

Her younger self jogged up to her and stood in front of Kara. "That's why you're here! That's why you talked to Katie! You can't live in denial, any more than I can. Go, research, learn all you can, but accept that that future is on its way, right now."

"Yeah. Do you think I've unblocked my powers, yet?"

"Only one way to find out." Younger Kara touched her hand to Kara's head, and all went black.

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"What to do with you overnight?" Spike muttered to the kitten, as he re-entered the house. He had enough sense to know that it wouldn't be a good idea to just let the kitten roam free with the other adult cats. Those two stuck together, and would probably tear the new intruder to shreds for invading their territory. "How about we see if Kara is awake still, first, then go from there, huh?" The kitten just looked up at him and blinked. "Bloody hell, I'm basically talking to a snack. Such a state my unlife has become," he groused.

Spike took the stairs quietly so as to not wake Melissa and entered the bedroom.

"Kara?"

Lights still on, but no beautiful woman in sight. He stuck his head around the corner, and saw the closed door, so he knocked.

"Luv?"

Her heartbeat was slow, like she was asleep, breathing regular. Looking around for a good spot, he placed the kitten in the tub, then tried the knob. It was locked, but lucky for him, it was the type that had the tiny release flap that could unlock it from the outside. Spike fiddled with it until the door popped open. He pushed it slowly, not wanting to startle her, and saw Kara sitting on the floor, wrapped in a towel with her head drooped forward and her hands folded in her lap.

"Let's get you to bed, kitten."

Spike gently picked her up and carried her to the four-poster bed, brushing the linens aside before setting her down. She didn't twitch as he pulled the sheet up over her and kissed her forehead. A mew from the tub reminded him of his other charge. The kitten was too small to climb out of the slippery tub, so it was as good a place as any for it for the night. He found one of the older towels and dropped it in there, then filled a small bowl with water, too.

"Sleep well, squirt. I really hope you aren't going to cry all night, but if you do, I won't feel a single bit out of sorts for dropping you outside to fend with the pups. We clear?"

Spike shut off all the lights, shed his clothes again, and slid in next to Kara. He wrapped an arm tight around her waist, and was soon fast asleep.

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Kara found herself back in the hallway, and back in jeans and a plain tee.

"Okay, guess the lesson isn't done, yet. Which room next?"

The Spirit door opened for her.

"Well, that answers that."

Kara stepped through, and found herself in Kalari's bedroom, as it had looked when she lived there.

"You finally made it! I was beginning to think you'd never leave the other room."

A tall woman walked around the curtain hiding the bed. She had raven black hair, almost to the floor, almond-shaped eyes that flickered silver in the light, and her skin was tinted the slightest hint of lavender. She wore an ornately woven top that showed more cleavage than it concealed, and a long skirt slit up to her hip and riding low. A jeweled belt jingled as she walked to the settee and gracefully reclined upon it.

"So, you're who I carry in my head, now. Yavanna wasn't kidding when she said you were tall," Kara said. Kalari laughed, shaking her hair and giving Kara a view of her pointed ears.

"Yes, this is my original body, but I don't think we look that much different, do you?"

"Yes and no," Kara replied with a smile. "Why am I here now, with you?"

"Well, honey, your issues are my issues now, and vice versa. So, if our powers are fizzled out, then that affects our job, and that's not good. I don't know how you lived before without teleporting everywhere. Traditional travel is so…slow. Anyway, we need to get your worries out of the way so you can prepare for what's coming. Let's get all those fears out on the table."

"Everything? Oh, no, that'll take forever, and I'm already pretty tired-"

"Kara, you're not getting out of here until you face this stuff. Lorne knew what he was doing. Now, trust yourself, please? We're one and the same."

"Fine." Kara flopped back onto her chair. "Well, I've already figured out that I wasn't quick enough with revoking my claim to prevent an unforeseen side-effect…"

"Two."

"Two!" Kara's eyes were wide in surprise.

"Yep, two unforeseen side-effects. So, what are you gonna do about it?"

"I need to go back to the library."

"Right. Sorry the info isn't in my memories, but it wasn't a concern for me in my time, or at least, not for so many years that I didn't forget it," Kalari said apologetically.

"Yeah, I know. It's okay. So, since Lorne hinted at our powers being tied to my emotions, if I embrace what's going on and just deal with it as it comes, I shouldn't be blocking them anymore."

"That's the theory!" Kalari stated. "And stop pussy-footing around Spike already! If you want him to make a commitment to you, then tell him." She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Humans!"

"But what if he doesn't want-"

"Stop right there. One, the guy has claimed you. That's forever. Two, have you seen the way he looks at us? If he wanted to take it back, he would have done it after you told him what you did. If you really love him, trust him completely already. Otherwise, set him loose and go back to being single. Which can be pretty fun. Look at Yavanna."

"Okay, subject change! How long am I going to have to deal with this 'problem'?"

"11-12 months total," Kalari answered nonchalantly.

"11 to 12 months! Why!"

"Just the way things go in Ossiriand, kiddo. Hey, I sympathize. I know you didn't sign up for any of this. It's beyond the PTBs. The universe, itself, chose you, and it always has a good reason for picking the people it decides to grant great responsibility to. It's proof that you're special. Any more questions?"

"No, not really. Everything else falls under those, anyway. Do you think I'm cured?"

"Only one way to find out!"

Oh, not again…

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Kara found herself in a home office, facing another counterpart. The other Kara wore a conservative charcoal gray suit, smart-looking glasses, and her hair was slicked back into a tight bun. This could only be Logic.

"'Hello, me, it's me again. Nice talking to myself. We're a credit to dementia.'"

"Very funny. Have a seat, we haven't got all day. I'll cut to the chase and tell you why you're here. You've been neglecting me for a few months now, and it needs to stop. Face what you know for now, and be a big girl about what's coming. What would Mom say about you acting like a big baby? Seriously. So, focus on the facts and remember where you came from. Now, get out of my office. Physical Response is telling me you need to go to the bathroom." She clapped her hands and the room disappeared.

Kara felt a swirl into blackness, before her eyes popped open. At first, she didn't know where she was, until her eyes adjusted to the dark, and she recognized her bed. Spike was softly breathing next to her, lying on his back, which meant that he was fast asleep. She could just see the light starting to peak around the curtains, indicating dawn was approaching. Kara carefully rolled out of bed, placed the stone in the drawer of the nightstand, and walked to the bathroom.

She hung the towel on a rack and tried shifting. Kara breathed slow and deep, picturing exactly what she wanted to be, and opened her eyes to find she had paws and fur. Yes! She almost shrieked for joy, but caught herself just in time to not wake Spike. Shifting back to human form, she quietly grabbed some clothes from the closet and went to shower and change in one of the other bedrooms.

Kara had a quick breakfast, left a note on the counter, and went down to the portal in the basement. She wanted to get to the library as soon as possible while the questions were still fresh in her mind.

Travel to Ossiriand was now honed down to a 12-hour time difference between dimensions. It was early evening when she stepped onto the palace floor. They would all be at supper right now. That was more than fine with Kara, as she wasn't in the mood for idle chit-chat, anyway. She grabbed the central codex book for cross-referencing volumes, and brought up the journals she was looking for.

… approx. 11 months, depending on requirements. The mystical nature of Ossirian Immortals is a complex process of creation, given the nature of their inherent powers…

Temporary ability loss is common in the early stages until equilibrium has been restored. See Meditation for helpful hints…

Combination of genetic material hints to the coming nature to some extent, but results are still ultimately unique. Powers require a certain amount of maturation to start to show…

The Time of Blessing differs from both Homo Sapiens and Valaraukar. See Rituals and Traditions for further details…

Prophecies Concerning Those to Come, Chapter 1, paragraph 27:

"When all are gone but the most Beloved Daughter, she will sleep, until it is time to be reborn of mortal blood. Out of Protection will come a New Age for Ossiriand, and the land will thrive once more. Beware those who would form a star into their own image. The Morning and Evening Stars, like two halves of a coin, hold the future in their hands. Guard them well when they rise…"

This passage was connected to several others in the book. Kara made notes on them all, the original paragraph resonating with her, though she didn't know what it entirely meant. The first two sentences were talking about Kalari, but who or what were the stars? It was all too vague and required much more research.