Hey everyone. Well here is the update I had promised last week. I should learn by now that as soon as I promise an update it seems to take me longer to finish it. I tried to make it up to you by making the chapter longer, so I hope you can appreciate that and leave me some really cool, cherished reviews. The style of writing came out funny on my computer so I hope its okay, it looks a little funny, but I don't know how to fix it. Thanks for reading.
Disclaimer: I have not connections to Gilmore Girls; I barely have a connection to the world.
Previously:
'Ouch' Lorelai said rather submissively
'I'm sorry' Luke tried
'Its ok. Well if you won't phone her, then I guess I am going to sleep.'
'Lorelai?' Luke pleaded, hoping he hadn't hurt her too much.
'Its fine Luke, night'
'Night' Luke answered quietly.
Lorelai turned off the lamp and laid back down, she silently watched as Luke tried in vain to get comfortable. She felt bad, but it was the right thing for everyone…right?
After 40 minutes had passed, neither Luke nor Lorelai had fallen asleep. For Luke it was a matter of physical discomfort but for Lorelai it was emotionally uncomfortable in the room. Guilt of hurting a man she loved and that loved her in return haunted her mind. She lay there in the dark watching him; the light from outside the window caught him in a way that allowed her to see him sitting there awake. He looked so sad.
'Luke?' Lorelai started, unsure of exactly what she wanted to say.
'Yeah' Luke answered, unsure whether to keep the pretence of sleep up or not.
'You're uncomfortable.'
'I'm fine' Luke stated coldly.
'You're not fine. This is a big king size bed, why don't you come lay down.'
'I'm fine' Luke said just as cold as before. Though the idea of sharing a bed with Lorelai was very enticing.
'Luke……you can have your own blanket and I won't use you as a pillow, I promise'
'Well if you promise' Luke said after giving it a little thought, he was tired, he needed to sleep.
Luke quickly got up and made his way over to the vacant side of the bed. He wrapped the spare blanket from the bottom of the bed over him and tried to sleep. He felt Lorelai shifting uneasily next to him. He turned on his back and stared up at the ceiling, not realising he had moved into the same position Lorelai had. After a few minutes of stillness and silence Luke spoke.
'Do you want me to move back over to the chair?'
'No' Lorelai answered a little to quickly for her own liking.
'Are you sure?' Luke questioned
'Why wouldn't I be'?
'You're lying on your back'
'So?'
'You never lay on your back. You say you will only lay like that when you're dead in your coffin'
'Luke I am fine, I am comfortable laying on my back' she snapped
'Okay, good night'
'Night'
The tension was growing between Luke and Lorelai with every moment of silence. Neither could will themselves to sleep and neither one could will themselves to talk. After another 20 minutes of silence, Luke eventually broke.
'I'm sorry' Luke told her, barely above a whisper
'Luke don't do this' Lorelai pleaded
'I need too'
'No you don't, you did nothing wrong. You didn't cheat on me and get someone pregnant, this happened before we met'
'I'm not apologizing for April'
'You're not?' Lorelai asked confused, turning her head slightly to look over at him.
'I'm sorry for not keeping things great between us. I have been lying her thinking about when the last time we spent a whole day together, just us, no interruptions'
'It was a while ago, before we postponed the wedding'
'Yeah… I'm sorry about that too'
'It's okay Luke, you did what you thought was best'
'But it wasn't the best thing, cause if I hadn't done that then I wouldn't have lost you.' Luke told her while starting to get frustrated with himself.
'You don't know that'
'So even if we were still getting married tomorrow you would have called the wedding off'
'No… Yes,…I don't know anymore Luke. All I know is that I loved you more than I have ever loved any man before'
'Loved?' Luke said in a pained voice
'This is difficult for me Luke; I don't know how to go back to being Lorelai without Luke. I though the first step should be to stop loving you, then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.'
'Why cant you just love me and marry me?'
Luke's question was only met by silence. He could swear he heard her crying, but Luke knew not to turn the lights on and check. So, he lay there, listening to the soft sniffles next to him. Out of nowhere, Luke grabbed Lorelai's hand and without saying anything, he just held it tight. He felt that was all he could do to comfort her in that moment and he was right, cause she held his hand tight and after a few moments the crying stopped.
When he felt it safe to talk again, Luke began to speak
'How are Rory and your parents?'
'I don't know' Lorelai answered quietly, appreciating that Luke changed his question
'You haven't spoken to them?'
'No. I tried to speak to Rory on Monday but she hung up the phone when I told her that I hadn't reconciled with you. As for my parents, I don't need to hear them talk about how I have screwed things up again, so I have avoided Friday Night Dinners'
'Oh'
'Have you seen Rory?' Lorelai asked curiously.
'She came to the diner on Wednesday, trying to help plot some scheme with Sookie to get us back together.'
'Do you think this is their plan…locking us in here together…. do you think they thought this would get us together again?'
'I don't know, all I know is that they wouldn't leave me alone for days. I wanted nothing to do with any crazy plot they had up their sleeve.'
'You didn't want to be part of anything to get me back!' Lorelai stated a little hurt.
'That's not what I meant. I just didn't want to deal with them'
'Oh'
'Did they try get you in on any plot?' Luke asked
'No, they wouldn't have dared to try. I have been in a bit of a sour mood so everyone has kinda avoided me'
'Yeah?' Luke questioned
'Yeah'
'Wow'
'What?' Lorelai asked confused.
'I didn't know I had such an effect on you.' Luke said smugly
'What! You have no effect on me' Lorelai said, shocked at the tone of Luke's voice
'Of course I do, I made you, the eternally happy person, miserable for a week'
'I wasn't miserable, my mood just didn't mix well with others'
'Lorelai?'
'Fine, what do you want me to say. I'm miserable without you. I will get better though'
'I have a quick solution for you' Luke stated confidently
'What?' Lorelai asked intrigued though she had an idea of what Luke was referring too
'You could just let me love you and let me spend the rest of my life making this up to you.'
'Luke?' Lorelai spoke uneasily at the return of the dreaded topic of marriage
'I don't want to live without you' Luke told her
Luke shifted his body to his side, facing Lorelai. She could swear she saw tears in Luke's eyes. She hated having put that hurt there, but she was doing what felt right. Lorelai shifted her body but faced away from Luke. Their hands slipped from the grip on each other. Lorelai curled her body up into a ball and buried her face in the pillow. Not caring whether she wanted to be comforted or held, Luke moved over, wrapped his arm over Lorelai, and pulled her body into his. Lorelai didn't put up a fight so Luke settled into that position and held her tightly.
It didn't take long for either of them to fall asleep; there was something about being in each other's arms that was still so soothing to one another.
A few hours passed and Lorelai began to stir. It took her a few short moments to remember where she was and what situation she found herself in. She tried to close her eyes again and sleep but the feeling of Luke's body pressed against hers and the feeling of his arms snaked around her body were too much of a distraction. So, Lorelai lay there and tried to sort through her feelings.
When Lorelai felt Luke start to wake up, she closed her eyes. She wasn't ready to talk to Luke again. Lorelai was unsure if it had actually worked, as Luke started to talk to her. Lorelai stayed silent and listened.
'I missed this…. I miss holding you and I miss waking up to see you sleeping. And on the rare occasion when you would wake up before me, I loved seeing your smile first thing in the morning. I don't know how I am going to do it, but I will get you back….. I have to get you back.'
Luke hadn't realised Lorelai was awake until he saw the tear on her cheek glisten in the moonlight. He pulled her body as tight as he could to his own and placed a soft kiss on the back of her neck. With his free hand, Luke gently brushed Lorelai's hair away from her face. He took his time and every now and then, he would place the smallest kisses on her neck.
Lorelai began to shift and turned onto her back again. Luke made no effort to move, and kept his arms around her. It felt like Luke was towering over her, but Lorelai didn't care. She just sunk into the bed a bit more and lent her forehead against Luke's chest. The room was so quiet that Lorelai could swear all she heard was his heartbeat. She closed her eyes, listening intently for the thud thud of his heart.
Unwilling to move or sleep, Luke tried his hand at small talk.
'So what are you doing today?' Luke asked as casually as possible
'What?' Lorelai asked confused. She had no idea where this was coming from.
'I wanted to know what your plans were for today.'
'Oh….well I was supposed to be working this morning, but that will all depend if Sookie agrees to let us out. What about you?'
Lorelai shifted her body, just enough so that she could look into Luke's eyes while they spoke.
'Same as you. I hope Sookie called Caesar or Lane to open the diner.'
'Yeah, otherwise we might have an angry mob of crazy townsfolk on our hands.'
'And I don't deal well with this town as it is.'
'Why is that?'
'Why is what?' Luke asked confused
'Why is it that you cant deal with this town. I mean you have known almost all of them your whole life.'
'I used to get on with everyone just fine, but after my father passed away, I became a bit of a rebel. I ended up getting on Taylor's bad side and by extension, the bad side of most senior members of Stars Hollow. It took me years to get most of the town to respect me as an adult, but things would never be like they used to be. I'm too bitter and grumpy for that.' Luke said the end part with a smile.
'You cant just say grumpy, that is an understatement.' Lorelai returned his smile.
'Then what am I supposed to say?' Luke asked, enjoying the slight return of their banter.
'How about mondo-grumpy?'
'No' Luke tried to say in a serious tone, but it came out in almost a laugh
'How about super-grumpy?' Lorelai said in one of her funny voices
'Lorelai?' Luke questioned.
'What! It's early. I mean it 3 am.'
'Since when has that ever stopped you?'
'Good point. I must just be losing my touch'
'Good ridden' Luke said, still smiling
'What? Excuse me mister!' Lorelai said in fake shock, she was enjoying the banter just as much as Luke was.
'What….10 years of your constant talking was enough.'
'You would miss it' Lorelai said, still joking around
'I do' Luke said, taking the conversation a little serious again.
'I miss having someone to mock and joke with' Lorelai continued.
'Good' Luke said before placing a soft kiss on her forehead
Their banter was gone, but the room didn't fill with uneasiness or tension again. They just lay there together staring into each other's eyes. A passer-by might have said they looked like they were have a conversation in their thoughts.
After a little time had passed Lorelai excused herself to the bathroom. When she returned, Luke had sat up in the bed and stripped off some of his layers.
'Are you tired?' Lorelai asked, walking slowly back to the bed.
'Not so much anymore. You?'
'Nope. Can I put some music on?' Lorelai asked, hoping he would say yes and they wouldn't have to stay in silence anymore.
'You will wake the other guests'
'There are no other guests' Lorelai told him slowly
'Its summer.……its tourist season' Luke stated confused.
'I know, the rooms were booked out for the wedding guests, but I held onto them for too long and couldn't get guests in to fill them.'
'Oh, sorry'
'Its okay, it actually gave the staff a little time off and helped the rest relax a bit'
'Good'
'Yeah good'
'Okay then, you were going to put on music.'
'We have tons of CD's in each room' Lorelai said walking over to the cabinet. 'but apparently this room only has one' Lorelai continued a little confused as she had expected to see a variety.
'Which one is that?'
'I don't know, it's a mix CD. Not one that we normally have up here'
'Well pop it in'
'Hold your horses, I'm getting there'
Lorelai put the CD on and hit play. Grabbing the stereo remote, she made her way back to the bed. Before she could even sit, she was shocked to hear Sookie's voice.
'thanks Lane, oh are we recording….. oh so hey Lorelai and Luke. As you are aware I have locked you in the room hoping you can figure stuff out between you, cause I know this is not how things are supposed to end. With the help of Lane, I bring you this very cool message and a bunch of songs I hope you will take time to listen too. I have a feeling they might help and so do Lane and Rory. Please just give it a go for me. Oh and can I have this CD when you are done cause I always wanted to know what I would sound like on radio. Now get going'
'Crazy people' Luke mumbled in his usual grumpy style.
'Its sweet' Lorelai defended Sookie's actions
'They are butting into our lives'
'I know, and I can't say I am happy about it, but you must see now how much this town loves us.'
'I was never the one that didn't want there to be an us. I am with the town on the whole we belong together thing'
'Except when you broke up with me'
'Except when I was stupid enough to break up with you.'
It was then that Luke and Lorelai both realised what song was playing.
Now that I've worn out, I've worn out the world
I'm on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moons never seen me before
But I'm reflecting light
'Do you remember this song?' Luke asked Lorelai
'Of course I do, it was the song we danced too at Liz's wedding' Lorelai answered in a Duh tone
'Reflecting Light by Sam Phillips'
'It quickly became one of my favourite songs' Lorelai stated nonchalantly
'Yeah?'
'Yeah'
They sat there listening to the rest of the song, while remembering all the good times
I wrote the pain down
Got off and looked up
Looked into your eyes
The lost open windows
All around
My dark heart lit up the skies
And now that I've worn, I've worn out the world
I'm on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moons never seen me before
But I'm reflecting light
Give up the ground
Under your feet
Hold on to nothing for good
Turn and run at the mean times
Chasing you
Stand alone and misunderstood
And now that I've worn, I've worn out the world
I'm on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moons never seen me before
But I'm reflecting light
'How did she even know about that song?' Luke wondered
'Rory probably told her. I bought the CD the week after the wedding'
'Before or after we had our first kiss?'
'What does that matter?'
'I was just wondering…'
'Before'
'Oh' Luke said all knowingly
'What is that supposed to mean'
'I just think it is interesting that you had been pining for me' Luke stated smugly. A smile was appearing on his face as he watched her take in what he said.
'I had not been pining, I just liked the song' Lorelai said defensively
'Its okay to admit it, it wont make you weak.'
'Luke I was not pining for you' Lorelai told him with a smile on her face
Just then they both realised another song had started to play. While they listened they both realised they could easily be the one saying most of the words. So, that fell back into silence listening to it.
I'm not the sort of person
Who falls
In and quickly out of love
But to you I gave my affection
Right from the start
If I have a lover
Who loves me
How could I break such a heart
Yet you still get my attention
Right from the start
Why do you come here
When you know I've got troubles enough
Why do you call me
When you know I can't answer the phone
Make me lie
When I don't want to
And make someone else
Some kind of an unknowing fool
You make me stay
When I should not
Are you so strong
Or is the weakness in me
Why do you come here
And pretend to be just passing by
But I need to see you
And I need to hold you
Tightly
Feeling guilty
Worried
Waking from tormented sleep
This old love has me bound
But the new love cuts deep
If I choose now
I'll lose out
Cuz one of us has to fall
I need you
And you
Before the song could finish, Luke spoke up.
'I don't remember this song from anything'
'Neither do I, it must be one of the girls choices for song that is supposed to make us think'
'Does it make you think?' Luke asked unsure of where his questioning would take him
'I guess.'
'About what?'
'It makes me think about how right this could actually be if I am hurting myself and the person I love.'
'It doesn't have to be this way'
'But I can't go back to how it was'
'Then we will go somewhere new and better with this relationship, we will make this work'
'Luke….'
Lorelai was cut off by Luke's quick movement as he placed his lips tightly against hers. After a few moments, Luke felt Lorelai relax and he pulled her body close to his. He lifted his lips off of hers and let her head fall onto his chest. They lay back together, neither saying anything and listened to the next few songs on the CD.
Disclaimer2: I didn't want to put the disclaimer for the music at the top, cause it would have spoilt the story a bit. So here it goes. I have no connection to Sam Phillips or Keisha White. I just have a huge respect for the great music they make. Keisha White has such a powerful voice, if any of you have heard this song, feel free to let me know what you think..
Thank you all for reading this story and reviewing. I am not going to promise an update like I usually do, but I am going to tell you it might be a little while as I am going through a really tough time right now. Writing makes me feel better, but I want the story to end happy so I might stay away from writing and read your amazing stories instead. If you have any recommendations for funny stories or stories full of fluff please send them my way in a review or PM.
The same will go for 'A question worth asking.' I am trying really hard to finish it, but the timing just sucks at the moment. Please stick with me and I will be your fan forever.
Thanks again
