A/N- Um. Sorry I don't update more. I'm sort of waiting to get to the real drama and romance of the story. I've switched points of view, because for the first three chapters, this was a completely Hermione based story. By the end of this chapter though, we will have another main character, and it's really difficult to write that in first person form. I also never intended this to be a Remus/Tonks story but it just happened. I swear it won't become one though. Oh, the mood sort of changes in the middle of this, so if your crazy and actually listening the music with it (I do that) then switch to 'Fade Together' by Franz Ferdinand after the italicized text.
How long how long will I slide
Separate my side I don't
I don't believe it's bad
Slit my throat
It's all I ever
Stranger things could never change my mind
I've got to take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Take it on
Take it on
-Otherside by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Remus, we need to go see her!"
Nymphadora Tonks was angry. More importantly, she was worried. How the hell can Remus have so much damned patience? He stays so bloody calm.
She was worried about Hermione. What had she found when she went home? Merlin, I hope she doesn't run away again. That girl had been through more than any of them. Tonks was also not the most patient of women, far from it.
"She needs her space. I have a feeling that she will come to us, when she is ready. Until then, we wait."
Remus spoke with a sigh from the stove of their small flat. Despite Tonk's protests, he was cooking breakfast, as always. She was the woman in the household, and as she told Remus repeatedly she would 'bloody well act like it, on occasion'. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Remus knew that Tonks could burn, overcook, undercook, or otherwise maul any type of food.
"Can we really let her disappear again?" Tonks cut into his musings with the present.
"She won't. She's stronger than that."
"But you know better than anyone what being alone does to people." She recalled how he was when she had first realized she loved him. He had been a recluse after Sirius's death, and being alone had only hurt him. And Fred…
"You're thinking about Fred aren't you?" He always had the uncanny sense of knowing exactly what she was thinking.
"Yes" Her voice cracked thinking of him. She had come to see Fred as a sort of younger brother during the years of the war. She usually tried not to think of what that war had done to him.
Remus turned off the stove and walked toward her. He brushed a lock of her raven black hair out of her eyes, and then wrapped his arms casually around her waist. His amber eyes looked into her grey ones for a long moment before speaking.
"She's not like us. She did more and lost more." He paused slightly. "Hermione also didn't have anyone after the war. She cut herself off from all the survivors and I think that was intentional. She has to find something in herself.
"But…"
She was cut of by Remus pulling her closer and leaning his face centimeters from hers. He wanted to show her how truly grateful he was that he had her. I want her to know that I will always love her.
Pausing slightly, he bit his lip, as if trying to collect his thoughts, and then he pressed his warm lips to hers. She gasped at the sheer intensity of it, as if Remus was trying to pour his whole life into hers. His lips moved in a slow but passionate rhythm against hers, sucking gently on her lower lip. He broke away slowly grinning profusely at her appearance. She was in her natural form looking flustered, lips swollen and all traces of anger gone. Thought that would shut her up. He grinned even more at himself. Remus then decided that now was the perfect time.
"Nymphadora" he said in a low husky tone, reaching into the pocket of his robes, for the ring he had retrieved from his parents vault months ago.
The loud crack of apparition broke the silence before Tonks realized what was going on, fortunately for Remus.
"We need to find Hermione. Now." Said the youngest Weasley, completely indifferent to the scene in front of her.
"Hmm… I do believe we were just talking about this." Tonks muttered sarcastically, smiling. However she stopped dead when she saw the look on Ginny's face.
"She's going to try to kill herself. We need to find her now."
"WHAT!" Both Remus and Tonks cried simultaneously, panic registering in both their faces.
"Listen, there isn't time to explain. I went to her flat and found this" She said, handing them the small piece of parchment in Hermione's neat hand.
"Lets go".
Hermione walkedpurposely into the entry room of the Department of Mysteries. It had the same eerie quality it did when she first came here, seven years ago. It was then that she had lost Sirius behind the veil. The guilt of his death was one thing that had weighed on her mind for all these years.
I was supposed to be the rational one! Harry could never leave people in danger- it wasn't in his nature. And Ron… Well, Ron always believed in Harry. What if I had just avoided that curse? What if I had just been there? I could have stopped Bellatrix sooner. I could have saved him.
The loss of Sirius had hit her in some strange way. It hadn't changed her like it changed Harry- it just hurt. She had risked her life to save him once, only to lose him again. It was the sense of failure that she couldn't deal with. For the first time, she had completely failed someone she cared about
Hermione approached the veil, staring at the tattered black cloth. Then the whispering began. Harry said he had heard whispers. But he wasn't crazy. She was entranced by the voice. Who's was it? Ron's? Harry's? She listened intently for another long moment. No, it's older than theirs. More… mature. She walked closer, trying to make out the voice. Suicide was now the last thing on her mind. Sirius? She was so close now she could almost feel the faint breeze ruffling the veil. She barely registered the three loud cracking noises in the background.
"HERMIONE!" Three loud, frantic voices called out to her in unison.
She was snapped out of the trance of the veil and turned around. She recalled why she was in the Death Chamber to begin with.
"Please Hermione, don't do this."
"No Remus, this is what's best, you'll all be better off, and so will I. If Harry ever wakes up, tell him that."
With these words, Hermione Granger walked calmly into the veil.
Pain racked through her body, the most severe, mind-boggling pain she had ever experienced. She watched her 15-year-old self, being hit by that unknown curse of the Deatheater. But the older Hermione didn't faint like before. She saw her own unconscious body, but felt the pain it had felt again and again. Hermione was trapped in time, reliving that second over and over again. She could see and hear everything, but like her younger counter-part, was powerless to help.
She knew that the battle was going on, just in the next room. She knew that Harry was fighting to save the prophecy. She knew that Bellatrix and Sirius were dueling, that Sirius was dying. Now both guilt and pain seared through her whole body but she never found the death she had been looking for. 'I should be dead by now. Is this hell?' Eternities passed. She had been inside this hell place forever. No thought remained, just the recounting that vicious moment and the pain. The same event happened countless times, and she watched.
In an instant, she was shocked back into thought and time. She felt a sharp crack as most of her bones were broken, and then was brutally shoved forward. She fell out into a place she vaguely recognized, with something clearly under her. 'A man?' As she puzzled, her body shut down, and the world spun into oblivion.
There was a soft voice, calling to her. She tried to sit up, but she couldn't. She started blinking her eyes slightly, trying to clear the fog from her mind. Who was that talking? It doesn't sound like Remus and it's definitely not a woman.
She tried to move her arms and reach out to this unknown man, but sharp pain shot through her. Cringing, she fell back into unconsciousness.
"Hermione" A voice was calling out to her again. This time it was easier to make out. She opened her eyes to see the clearly defined form of Remus Lupin sitting next to her.
"Oh thank Merlin. You scared us Hermione." He looked like he hadn't slept in days.
"What? What the hell is going on? I'm dead! It's supposed to be fucking over!" Hermione tried to sit up, but was pulled back by searing pains all over her body.
"Hermione, you need to relax. A lot has happened. First off, you're not dead."
"That much I've gathered from the shooting pains all over my body. How the hell did that happen?" She was pissed off now. She couldn't move and she was supposed to be dead! No more pain, physical or emotional.
"Just hold on a minute. You jumped into the veil, that itself was a far more dangerous decision then you anticipated, because you had no idea what it was."
"So what is it then?" Her academic curiosity was peaked, even if she was dead tired.
"Officially, the veils purpose is unknown. The ministry doesn't want to have anything to do with it. They just keep it locked up in the Department of Ministries, and try their best to forget about it. After Sirius 'died' I decided to set out to find out its true meaning. By studying texts of ancient magic, I learned that magic itself is about purity. Now don't take this the wrong way, it has absolutely nothing to do with blood, whatever some of us may say."
Remus continued, "But the fact the people of all magical blood are called purebloods is no mistake. Wizards of ancient times knew of the purity of magic, and since they themselves were magical, they were 'of pure blood'. But each witch or wizard is magical, so his or her own blood has nothing to do with it. You are as much of a 'pure blood' as Malfoy is. I'm even sure that most Black's don't realize that their family motto has nothing to do with being wizard born, but simply being magical."
"But a wizard is also a man." Remus sighed; this was not an easy thing to explain. "Man has 'grey areas', places between right and wrong for example. This is what differentiates a person from their magic. Magic is always pure. Magic can become pure pain with the crusatis curse. The Mirror of Erised shows pure desire. Dementors are beings that feed off of pure fear. The veil is another one of these pure objects. The veil is evil." He paused at the shocked look on Hermione's face.
"Yes, it is the purest form of evil. There is no coincidence that the two are anagrams either. The veil is a terrible force, which once hurt many people. That's why the ministry keeps it locked up. The 'death chamber' keeps the veil from hurting people. Mostly anyway… The ancient muggles even knew of its power. Ever seen a drawing of 'the grim reaper'? He is a man with a black veil completely covering his appearance. The reaper is the bringing of death and devastation."
"So are you saying I jumped into pure evil?"
"In a manner, yes. The veil will do anything for its prey. It feeds on people, even from great distances. The fact that you chose to go there for your own death is not coincidence either."
"But, I was suicidal, the veil didn't make me do it!"
Remus sighed and continued, "That is true but only partially. The veil overrode part of your mind when you returned to England. It was the proximity to it. You were suicidal, but without it's influence, you would have thought to come talk to Tonks or Ginny or myself. You would have done something to help yourself. We would have stopped you if needed. But you had come in close contact with the veil before. It in a sense, knew you."
"When you jumped into it, it showed you whatever would hurt you the most. The veil enjoys pain and suffering. But unlike Dementors, who simply show you your worst memory, the veil actually makes it happen, it causes tangible results. If you had say, lost all magical ability inside the veil, you would actually be a squib. So of course it didn't let you die because that's what you wanted."
"Alright, but how am I out? How do you know any of this for sure? I thought no one ever came out."
"You're right. All of this was simply speculation until just a few weeks ago. But your experience seems to have proved our theories. Is it alright for me to assume that Sirius was somehow involved in your stay in the veil?"
Hermione felt strangely embarrassed, "Well yes, he was." She really did not want to think about it. She was simply too tired for this.
"Can I also assume that whatever happened to you also happened over and over again?"
"Yes" She said this almost meekly- truly exhausted now.
"As expected. See, somehow, your 'visions' began to stack up. Every time Sirius appeared in your 'vision' a duplicate appeared. It was not the real Sirius, but it still had mass. Apparently, there were too many of them and the veil was unable to cope with inflicting pain on each one of them simultaneously. So, after what seemed like only minutes to us, hundreds of Sirius' began to appear in the death chamber, only to disappear moments later. They were the veils creations, and therefore blocked by the powerful magic that protects the chamber. Soon after both you and a young man fell out, both badly injured"
"Who?"
"We're going to save that for tomorrow. You need your rest."
Too exhausted to protest, Hermione fell back into nothingness.
She awoke to light streaming in through a window behind her. Wincing, she tilted her head to look around her, only to see a stranger with his head asleep at her feet. His black hair was long, cut slightly above his shoulders and currently falling in front of his face. He was strongly built, but not bulky and looked to be in his early twenties. The strangest thing about this man was his attire. Drab browns, his shirt seemed tight in the chest and loose in the shoulders, as if wearing another mans clothing.
Who is this man? But he seems dressed like… Remus? Well, it's definitely not Remus, far too young. Then why would he be wearing Remus' clothes? He seems vaguely familiar too.
As she was watching him, she had shifted a little and this movement apparently roused him. He shook his head slightly, and it was only then she saw that he had a sling on his right arm. Injured? Could this be the man who fell out of the veil with me?
He ran his fingers through his hair sleepily and looked up at her. His grey eyes looked at her with happiness and concern.
"Hermione! You're awake! Are you trying to kill an old man like me?"
"Um… Who are you? And why are you calling yourself an old man? If I'm not mistaken, you're not a day over 25."
"Oh god, I'm sorry Hermione. I keep forgetting about this." He gestured at his body. "I know you're going to think one of us is crazy but, Hermione, it's me, Sirius"
A/N- Finally! The Hottie has arrived! So yes, more romance, more drama, less suicide. I promise. If anyone sees anything wrong (canon-wise) with my explanation of the veil, please review or email me at i.am.mrs.sirius. that in, don't click). I know its complicated but I didn't want one of those "ancient magic brought us together" fics. Those are great, but I wanted something new. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK SO I CAN IMPROVE! That's the point of fanfiction for me, a sort of jumping off point for real (publishable) fiction. Also, if anyone is willing to be a dependable and fast beta, I would love it. My first one did the first chapter but it took her like a month, and then never returned the second one.
