[Warning: I was seriously freakin' depressed when I wrote this so it's VERY
violent. If you can't stand blood then don't read it!]
I'm entranced by the memory that plays in front of my eyes like a movie. Bloods splatters on the dry, desiccated ground. It flows slickly down her cheeks like thick lethargic tears, her eyes spurting the crimson liquid from the sloppy incisions that have been scraped down her face. Three long deep marks of red glisten and shimmer, almost like someone has raked claws unfathomably deep down her shocked face. One of her arms is hanging loosely on sinew, twisted at a weird angle, while the other lies tossed away in a bloody mess.
My eyes trail unbelievingly down her convulsing body to her blood-spattered chest. Her heart is exposed and hanging out from the cavernous hole that has been blasted into her gashed body. To my horror I see it pump in vain once last time, squeezing its shreds of tattered muscle together, blood squirting from its ruptured surface in a horrid display of shattered scarlet drops.
Her legs are twisted inhumanly, pastel white bone peeking viciously through her knee and her thigh, splintered and covered in severed arteries. Her corpse is twitching, as the muscles still yet have to realize that they have given up and that no more life sustaining blood will flow through their hungered veins.
I must be dreaming because this horrific pain can not be real. I'm clutching her desperately to my chest. My body is racked with sob after sob, tearing me apart from the inside. There's a terrible emptiness in my heart devouring my soul as I sit here in my overpowering desolation. There's nothing I can do. There's nothing that any one can do.
The blood.....her blood..... is seeping into my clothes, into my skin.....into my heart. It's burning me, ripping me apart. It's like acid to my skin, eating away at the boundaries of my sanity to the desperation and obsessive convulsions of my inner being.
I fade away from the memory with an agonizing scream as I 'remember'. I know what happened. The gory scene is meticulously clear to me. Every single tormented second of her horrendous last minutes of this world resonates through my bones, reverberating on the comatose edges of my stability, shattering it into thousands of razor sharps shards cutting deeply into my heart.
It's hurting so much. Never such cataclysmic anguish have I ever felt before. I clutch at my hair, ripping it brutally, clawing at my eyes, tearing at the delicate skin of my face with my finger nails. Anything to keep away the inconceivable agony that is completely eradicating my soul.
Nostalgic tears burn channels down my battered cheeks, and I feel a pair of strong arms grip my hands and keep them firmly at my waist. I can't be held back anymore. The storm of pain is swirling so deep inside of me that I can't stand it anymore. It has to come out. My eyes roll back in their sockets as I thrash wildly about trying to toss the restraining arms from me. All I can smell is the fire and the blood and I hear the horrified screams of my mother's death. My throat throbs with my howls as I break from the arms and crash onto the ground in a fit of sobs and screams.
"MOTHER...NO......MOTHER!" I'm screaming out, so loudly that I can feel it rip at my vocal chords. I begin to claw painfully across the forest floor, unaware that my finger nails are breaking into bloody splinters.
Hiei now is putting his full weight on my back in an attempt to restrain my suicidal attempts of ridding myself of this memory. He can't stop me as I begin to bash my head ruthlessly against the dirt in my miasma of self- loathing and overwhelming emotions. I'm screaming for it to end. I'm begging. Please....just let it all end...... ...
.....
......
.....
... [Short chap, but don't complain. I think it's enough of that kind of stuff for now]
I'm entranced by the memory that plays in front of my eyes like a movie. Bloods splatters on the dry, desiccated ground. It flows slickly down her cheeks like thick lethargic tears, her eyes spurting the crimson liquid from the sloppy incisions that have been scraped down her face. Three long deep marks of red glisten and shimmer, almost like someone has raked claws unfathomably deep down her shocked face. One of her arms is hanging loosely on sinew, twisted at a weird angle, while the other lies tossed away in a bloody mess.
My eyes trail unbelievingly down her convulsing body to her blood-spattered chest. Her heart is exposed and hanging out from the cavernous hole that has been blasted into her gashed body. To my horror I see it pump in vain once last time, squeezing its shreds of tattered muscle together, blood squirting from its ruptured surface in a horrid display of shattered scarlet drops.
Her legs are twisted inhumanly, pastel white bone peeking viciously through her knee and her thigh, splintered and covered in severed arteries. Her corpse is twitching, as the muscles still yet have to realize that they have given up and that no more life sustaining blood will flow through their hungered veins.
I must be dreaming because this horrific pain can not be real. I'm clutching her desperately to my chest. My body is racked with sob after sob, tearing me apart from the inside. There's a terrible emptiness in my heart devouring my soul as I sit here in my overpowering desolation. There's nothing I can do. There's nothing that any one can do.
The blood.....her blood..... is seeping into my clothes, into my skin.....into my heart. It's burning me, ripping me apart. It's like acid to my skin, eating away at the boundaries of my sanity to the desperation and obsessive convulsions of my inner being.
I fade away from the memory with an agonizing scream as I 'remember'. I know what happened. The gory scene is meticulously clear to me. Every single tormented second of her horrendous last minutes of this world resonates through my bones, reverberating on the comatose edges of my stability, shattering it into thousands of razor sharps shards cutting deeply into my heart.
It's hurting so much. Never such cataclysmic anguish have I ever felt before. I clutch at my hair, ripping it brutally, clawing at my eyes, tearing at the delicate skin of my face with my finger nails. Anything to keep away the inconceivable agony that is completely eradicating my soul.
Nostalgic tears burn channels down my battered cheeks, and I feel a pair of strong arms grip my hands and keep them firmly at my waist. I can't be held back anymore. The storm of pain is swirling so deep inside of me that I can't stand it anymore. It has to come out. My eyes roll back in their sockets as I thrash wildly about trying to toss the restraining arms from me. All I can smell is the fire and the blood and I hear the horrified screams of my mother's death. My throat throbs with my howls as I break from the arms and crash onto the ground in a fit of sobs and screams.
"MOTHER...NO......MOTHER!" I'm screaming out, so loudly that I can feel it rip at my vocal chords. I begin to claw painfully across the forest floor, unaware that my finger nails are breaking into bloody splinters.
Hiei now is putting his full weight on my back in an attempt to restrain my suicidal attempts of ridding myself of this memory. He can't stop me as I begin to bash my head ruthlessly against the dirt in my miasma of self- loathing and overwhelming emotions. I'm screaming for it to end. I'm begging. Please....just let it all end...... ...
.....
......
.....
... [Short chap, but don't complain. I think it's enough of that kind of stuff for now]
