I'm sorry I didn't say so before, but this will be my last chapter (although I will have an epilogue).

Like I said before, Sesshoumaru will not only be delirious this chapter, but also under the influence of a powerful medicine. Just remember, he's not exactly himself. :D This chapter was a lot of fun to write so I really hope you enjoy it! Please review!


Feverish Confession

As Rin walked into the room her nose was assaulted with the scent of sickness. The dim lighting only served to further heighten her sense of gloom. It seemed that the whole room was covered with a film of dreariness.

Waiting a second for her eyes to adjust, Rin surveyed her surroundings. Few things had changed. Although Jaken no longer sat by the bed, his chair sat by Sesshoumaru's bed. The furniture was still in their places. The drapes were still drawn closed. Nevertheless, Sesshoumaru's presence seemed to have seeped out of the space.

No longer in a hurry, Rin walked slowly towards the bed. She knew Sesshoumaru laid in it, but almost could not bring herself to look. The pain of going to see Sesshoumaru in a weakened, fever-stricken state nearly caused her legs to buckle. Bleakly Rin set her jaw and gradually tilted her head downward.

What she saw still almost caused Rin to faint dead away. Sesshoumaru's skin was the ashy gray of clay from the earth. His skin hung loosely on him like too large of clothing. Bones that never should have been seen through the skin showed. His lips flapped slackly over yellowed teeth and his eyes moved listlessly beneath their lids. Manicured claws had seemed to grow at an unnatural rate and were twisted at odd angles. Even his hair had seemed to die; it hung lankly like a shroud draped across his near-corpse.

What has happened? Rin thought, true horror showing on her face.

The only sign of life Sesshoumaru showed her beads of sweat that covered his face and his perpetual shallow, rapid breathes. Rin reached down gently to wipe away the sweat. When her hand made contact with his molten skin, his eyes flew open. Rin leapt backwards, almost dropping the precious bowl of medicine she cradled in her arms. Looking into Sesshoumaru's eye she saw true madness.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, I'm here." Her voice sounded shaky even to herself.

Sesshoumaru's mouth parted slightly, and a ragged, rasping sound issued from it. Tears tugged at Rin's eyes. He can no longer even speak!

Instead of sitting in the nearby chair, Rin sat down at the edge of the bed, tenderly cradling Sesshoumaru's head. He could not even feebly resist Rin's touch. Gently parting his lips, she poured a bit of the medicine down his throat. Sesshoumaru sputtered as the medicine poured too quickly.

Cursing herself for being so careless, Rin tipped the bowl again. This time the medicine trickled slowly from the bowl down Sesshoumaru's throat. When he began to cough Rin would wait a few moments until he stopped. Then she would resume.

When she was finally done with the long process she began to talk soothingly. She started with the beginning of the journey. She even included Inuyasha's part in the story, presuming Sesshoumaru would be too tired to care. She talked of Jomei and her adventures on Mt. Hakurei. Then she mentioned how kind Setsuki had been; and how dangerous, but playful the water sprites were. She finished with meeting Sesshoumaru's cousin, Yukio.

"You know Sesshoumaru, Yukio is almost nothing like you. He seemed jealous of you too." Rin mused aloud.

Surprisingly, she received a response. "My cousin has always been jealous, first of my father and now of me. In fact Yukio's temper is very much like my half-breed brother's." Sesshoumaru laughed very dryly.

"Sesshoumaru! You're all right!" This time tears did brim over Rin's eyes and her voice felt choked, "I'm so glad you're okay. If you hadn't been…"

Sesshoumaru sat up slowly, but remained within Rin's embrace. "If I hadn't been all right then what Rin?" He asked more gently than she had expected, even if his voice was raspy from his long illness.

Rin hesitated, but decided to speak despite her misgivings. "If you had not been all right then I would have begged Inuyasha to kill me."

Sesshoumaru turned to face her. The corners of his mouth turned upward slightly and he traced her tear dampened face. "Rin, my dear, I am not worthy of your death."

Rin tensed slightly at the endearment she had never thought would leave Sesshoumaru's lips, but then buried herself in his emaciated chest. Instead of pulling away in disgust, Sesshoumaru tightened her arms around her.

He is so different. Is he still delirious? Rin wondered faintly.

"I knew you would save me Rin. I never doubted you." He murmured softly into her hair.

"I had to save you Lord Sesshoumaru." Rin replied.

Sesshoumaru nearly recoiled at her words. "You had to save me?" He asked sadly.

"No, Sesshoumaru, no. That's not what I meant. I meant that I would never again be happy if I had let you die." Rin shuddered at the thought of his death and put her head against his chest, closing her eyes.

She felt him breathe a sigh of relief, then he stilled. She could feel his breath tickle against the top of her head. His heart beat next to her ear like a metronome. It did not falter or hesitate, but continued its beat steadily. Eventually Rin opened her eyes and stared into Sesshoumaru's.

They flickered for a moment, but then he spoke with the utmost tenderness. "Rin, I love you. I do not know for how long now, but I live only for you."

Rin's throat tightened again, "I love you too Sesshoumaru."

Rin closed her eyes again briefly, and then opened them. Sesshoumaru's neck was bent and his face was inching closer. His lips fluttered against hers. She met his lips cautiously, but he responded by wrapping his arms tighter around her. Growing bolder, Rin ran her tongue gently across his fangs; Sesshoumaru returned the favor happily.

The kiss deepened until suddenly she felt Sesshoumaru tense. With no warning he pulled away completely, tearing himself away from her embrace. The emotional hurt that ran through her nearly caused her to gag. She looked at Sesshoumaru in tears.

"Sesshoumaru?" Rin's voice was cracked.

Not even bothering to look her in the eyes, Sesshoumaru uttered one word, "Leave."

Rin's emotions shattered. Snatching up the medicine bowl, Rin slid off the bed, and stumbled out of the room. It was good that she knew the estate inside and out because tears blurred her vision too bad for her even to see.

Staggering, Rin passed an extremely confused and sleepy Jaken; she shoved the medicine bowl into his arms as she went by. She made her way into the dark gardens, which had always been her sanctuary. Feeling completely numb inside, Rin collapsed in a bed of soft grass.

For a long time Rin simply sat there. Not bothering to think, she barely bothered to breathe. The sun rose, but she hardly noticed. To have her impossible love confessed, requited, and rejected was too much for her.

Finally, Rin detached herself from her feelings and her body. She began to drift. Floating through the estates she saw herself, exhausted and tear-stained. Gliding through the door she passed bustling servants. A visibly shaken Jaken sat in the dinning room, the medicine bowl still on the table next to him. She drifted towards Sesshoumaru's room, hesitated, and entered. Inside she found Sesshoumaru dressed to his waist; his head was buried in his hands.

Rin shook her head; she realized she was dreaming again. She wondered if her dream had been true, but then realized it didn't matter. Events came back to her quickly and her head spun.

Pushing her emotions aside, Rin tried to think logically. Well, at least I know what the bottom of Kaede's note probably said now. It must have been a warning that the side effect of the medicine is delirium.

Above her, the clear sky and shining sun mocked her desolate mood. Rin carefully got to her feet. Her legs wobbled under her as if she had forgotten to walk. At least it did not rain during the night, she thought with false cheerfulness.

Slowly Rin made her way through the gardens towards the house. Determined, Rin vowed to push her emotions and memories to the back of her mind. Perhaps if she buried them under all the meaningless tasks of everyday life, her hurt would go away. In her heart she knew that she would never forget the pain, but she promised to try anyways.


I know, that was a really depressing last chapter. However, I promise that the epilogue is more hopeful. Despite the sad ending, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Again, please review.