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火の思う出・二番目の物語
Memories of Fire・Second Tale

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第十話
Chapter Ten

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I wake up. Time for breakfast, walking downstairs my hair matted from a rough night's sleep, my skin feels grimy from caked on sweat from last night's activities. Maybe I'll skip breakfast today and head straight for the shower.

There's something about hundreds of tiny water droplets beating down on every inch of your skin that feels so refreshing. It washes away the filth, the scum, and yet, never the ever pressing emptiness that I feel inside of me. It's not like I'm not happy though. Living with Hiei now has been one of the most happiest times in my life, if not a bit difficult at times. It was never anything with Hiei that bothers me greatly. It's the fact that despite all that we have together there still feels like there's something missing inside of me, something that I lack because I am dysfunctional.

As I step out of the shower, I feel arms wrap around me from behind. "Hey, why didn't you wait for me?" I hear him ask. I smile slightly and step back in, pulling him in with me.

The shower now pours down on both of us, as I reach for the shampoo bottle, squirt some into my hands and gently begin to scrub his black hair which hangs limp in my hands. This is perhaps my favorite part of the morning, washing his hair, watching with a smile as his eyes close from just the sensation and he leans back against me.

Time wears on though, I can't stand there washing his hair forever, so I finish up and let my hands fall down to my sides. Slowly his eyes open and he turns to look at me, his smile is so soft that I almost think I'm looking at a different person.

Everything is so quiet, only the steady sound of the shower disturbs the air. I bit my lip and look away. For some reason it's hard to look into his eyes when his feelings are utterly exposed. I don't think he's ever been this relaxed in anyone's presence before.

Slowly he wraps his hands around my neck, standing on the tip of his toes to place a brief gentle kiss on my lips. He releases me, a little grin on his face and steps out of the shower without saying a word. I'm left there, my heart beating wildly, wondering how such a little thing could make me feel so alive inside.

I stepped out of the shower now, realizing that I better hurry up and finish getting ready. Today is my first day back at school since, well, the incident, and I'm going to need to get a good start to this day. Undoubtedly there will various rumors about why I was missing so long. This day wasn't going to be easy, especially while I still harbor these cloudy memories.

After getting dressed, I walk down into the kitchen, seeing Hiei has been digging through the cupboards again. He sat there, peacefully as ever, eating the hot chocolate mix straight from its can. With a smile, I walk over and take it from him.

"You're not supposed to eat it like that. It will make you sick." I scold before giving him a quick kiss, and licking the extra chocolate from his lips.

He mocks a pout before pouncing on me, and knocking me back against the counter, both of us laughing. The moment freezes in my mind and I'm staring deeply into those crimson depths. So red, a colour so deep, so thick, it's like…like blood. All the sudden I can feel it, smell, everywhere, drenched in blood, warm and enticing, horrible and nauseating. I can't help but let a shudder of horror run through my body.

"Kurama?" I hear him ask worriedly. He stands up straight and gently shakes me. "Kurama answer me!"

"I have to get to school now!" I say quickly as I rip my body away from his grasp and scramble out of the kitchen. Soon I'm on my way out the door with my bag in hand, and I'm walking down the street.

I feel myself shake slightly. Why? Why do his eyes have to remind me of that? Does this mean I won't ever be able to look into them again without those memories? This can't be happening. I don't want this to happen. It isn't fair. He's my happiness and yet, my happiness is tainted.

I'm startled from my thoughts by a high pitched squeal of "Shuichi-kun!". I turn and look to see that it was one of my female classmates bounding up behind me.

"Wow, Shuichi-kun! You're finally back! You've been gone for like, forever!" she says to me excitedly.

My memory searches for a name to connect with her face, but I'm not even sure if I had all my original memory that I would have bothered to have remembered it. She seems like all the other girls at my school. Nothing about her appearance especially stands out, but still I must be polite.

"I'm sorry, I think I've misplaced your name." I say, bowing my head slightly in apology.

She waves it away with her hand. "Don't worry about it. My name is Aimi." Then she turns and winks at me and laughs. What a strange girl she is.

Silence ensues as we continue to walk down the street, and I feel my mind drifting back to my original thoughts. Apparently Aimi has picked up on this mood change as well.

"Hey, Shuichi-kun, I know I really shouldn't mention this but…" she pauses for a moment to bit her lip, "…I heard what happened…and I just wanted to say…that I'm really sorry."

Pain flashes in my heart, but I give her a smile anyway. How does one respond to condolences when absolutely nothing can be done about what happened, when they're just a formality, words that must be passed from one to another?

"Ah, I see that that topic has gotten around." I say trying to keep my voice level and polite.

"Yeah. It was on the news. No one could really figure out what would have attacked like that and after you disappeared and weren't around for questioning.." she trailed off suddenly, feeling awkward. Maybe she was realizing that further discussion of this topic was making me upset again.

I told a long breath and let it out. I needed to get used to this pestering for a while. People are going to be curious, they'll be asking me all sorts of questions, regardless of my feelings. Some people just seem to lack either compassion or the general sense of decency of what should be said and what shouldn't.

Within another couple minutes Aimi and I had reached the train station. We both got on, and instantly I was surrounded in a sea of students. Aimi quickly disappeared from my side as she spotted some of her other friends. I was left with every else around me, staring curiously, and I knew just what was on their minds. I sighed to myself and steeled my expression to look pleasantly bored. I was going to have to stay strong if I wanted to get through this day.

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Author's Note: Well, it seems I've written another chapter of this. I'm not promising the next one any time soon. I'm sorry. bow I'm definitely going to work on it, but I'm bad on the whole promise thing. bow bow Gomen gomen gomen!