Learning to Live

Part 1: Being Reborn

Chapter 3: Mistakes

"I… I'm a mistake."

Cold. Dark. Slimy. It felt as though something dirty and disgusting was creeping down his back at a slow and antagonizing rate. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this uncomfortable. Maybe he never had. But that unsettling feeling in his stomach didn't leave, and it grew as Rin continued.

"My mother was a famous model. My father a wealthy businessman. They didn't want children. My mother was always complaining about how much weight she gained while having me… my father just ignored me. He ignored everything but his work and the woman he went to see on Saturday nights.

"I had a maid who took care of me during the day till I was 5, then my mother fired her, and I was left alone. As my mother's career ended, she became very upset and started drinking. This made her crazy. Sometimes she would throw plates at the wall… sometimes she would beat me.

"I had to get out. So I ran away to where the maid lived. I knew I couldn't stay long, but she gave me enough money to get to Tokyo. I don't think my mother noticed I was gone for awhile. It wasn't until almost a month after I left that I heard that I was a "Missing Person". I've been living on the street for 5 months now and I don't want to live the rest of my life with her."

Sesshomaru stared at the road of him intently. He was about to ask her a question when she reflected out loud.

"I wonder if she beat me because I was a mistake or if it was because I wasn't born perfectly…"

Sesshomaru was confused. Wasn't born perfectly? What is that supposed to mean? He reflected quietly over what Rin had said. So her mother would break things and break her. Her father was never around and ignored her whenever he was. How could a child have grown up in such a place?

He was about to question Rin more when he saw that her face was flushed.

"Rin, you have a fever."

"I know… It's just stress. It'll go away like it always does."

"…like it always does?"

Rin looked away, but he had the distinct feeling that something might be wrong. He didn't want to pry more though. He had already pushed her far enough.

By this time, they had reached his home and as soon as they were inside Rin declared she was going to bed.

---

It had been almost two and a half months since the episode at the zoo, and three months since Rin came to him. He didn't understand his connection towards her. Maybe it was that their lives shared similarities. He had always thought that he came out stronger from his past, but now, looking at Rin's way of life, he wondered who was stronger. She let people in to her heart. He tried to keep people out.

A few other small things made him question his… daughter.

First, she always watched what she ate. He had assumed that a child who had been deprived of many things would enjoy the treat, but she avoided it like the plague. That was curious behavior for any child. Secondly, she usually went to bed quite early. When he first met her, she would stay up till her exact bedtime, 9:30, and then shuffle off to actually get ready for bed. Now, for it had slowly begun to increase in occurrence, she was ready for bed and asleep by 8:15. Sometimes earlier.

At first, he thought that maybe she had just played hard during the day. As time passed and it because a more regular schedule to follow he began to get worried. He hated being worried. And yet, for some strange reason, her words on that day played back in his mind.

Wasn't born perfectly?

What could that mean?

---

It had been only a week since his reflections. Nothing had changed drastically, or so he thought.

Sesshomaru's days were spent at work and his nights were dedicated to Rin. He was a bit behind, but whenever she asked him if he had work to do he told he it could wait. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. It was the least he could do.

As I said, it had only been a week since his reflections when one night he was playing card games with Rin. They were having a fun time. Rin was laughing and he let a small smirk play on his lips. She was so happy. In fact, she was laughing so hard she had a nice blush on her face… but she wasn't laughing…

"Rin, you have a fever."

"I know… I think I'll take some medicine and go to bed…"

She seemed a bit out of it. As she stood, she wobbled a bit. When she regained her footing, she made her way towards the bathroom, but never made it there. She fell. She lay prostrate on the floor. Her breathing shallow. Her body burning. Her eyes closed.

Sesshomaru felt something icy grip at his heart. He pushed it aside, however, and picked up his little girl and took her to the hospital.

---

He had been waiting for 4 hours. He knew that they performing tests on Rin, but that didn't make him feel any better. He had seen, before they closed the screen, all of the tubes and wires that were around her. He hoped she wasn't scared if she woke up.

Then, a doctor exited Rin's room with a grim frown on his face. It was Dr. Yamamashi, Sesshomaru's personal doctor.

Dr. Yamamashi attempted to make the situation lighter.

"Well, Sesshomaru, I haven't seen you in awhile."

It didn't work.

"How is my… daughter."

Dr. Yamamashi frowned again. There wasn't exactly a class in medical school on "Condolence 101". In fact, nothing a doctor can do can prepare them for the first time they have to say these words. Actually, nothing can prepare you to say them at all, no matter if it's the first or thirty first time you have to say them.

"I'm sorry, Sesshomaru, but… your daughter is dying."

A/N

Well I hope you like this chapter and hopefully I can the next one out to you this weekend. Later.