I do not own Once Upon a Time
Chapter 19 …And Hope of the Future
Belle looked at her reflection in the mirror. Mary had finished all of her jumping from here to there, and had finally declared Belle 'perfection, Miss, pure perfection.'
The dress she had chosen fit nicely about her shoulders, allowing the display of her locket to be the focal point of her neck. There was a bit of tulle around the edge of the neckline, before the bodice went down in a v like shape towards her waist. There was boning creating the illusion that she was even smaller than her petite frame could already boast, and the skirt billowed down in a sort of sheer waterfall of fabric. The skirt was made of two layers, the top layer being shorter than the underlayer. She had desired no other frills but the shape of the dress itself. The beaded veil was enough to set Belle's sensibilities on edge and she felt the flowers in her hair surrounding the veil enough adornment to set off the look. She knew she was small, she knew was petite, and she was well aware of the effect too much fabric or frills would have on her. She loved the feminine touches of so many of the latest fashions on other people, but she would not overwhelm her frame, nor would she pretend she was some important lady of fashion, despite marrying the wealthiest man in the county. She felt the locket with her gloved hand and imagined she was gathering courage from it as if it were some sort of mystical trinket. She was not afraid to marry Rowland, not at all, but the unknown blank that the future always is to all of us was something that did cause butterflies to entertain themselves in her stomach.
She twitched a smile at Mary and then went to find her dear friend, so he could walk her down the aisle of a converted parlor. There inside, and on the banisters leading to it, were all the blooms that she and Bae had picked from gardens on the manor. Belle had clipped and trimmed the thorns from the roses, while Bae had very diligently gathered baby's breath. She had asked Rowland to read to them the day before, while she and Bae had sat on the floor and gathered them together to create clusters of beauty. Mary was then charged with bringing their bundles to the designated parlor and arranged them in the way they were now. Mr. Jeffrey was leaning on the door frame, eyes dancing and his face beaming. She had so much to be thankful for. Her father might not be walking her down the aisle, but Mr. Jeffrey had done so much for her-as much as a father would his daughter.
In fact, it had been the day after their trip to town, Belle still keeping to her normal routine, had let Bae run off to his father and Mr. Jeffrey had come to visit her in the school room while she set everything back to rights.
'What a sweet little room this is! Shall you keep it as your sitting room, after, you know…?'
She set the readers they were working through, back to their spots in the little bookshelf on the side near her desk.
'I think so-though I think some of the things will be put aside since Bae will no longer need it. I like that it's so near the library, and so full of light. I've grown so fond of it, I think I would be sad to leave it altogether.'
'Mmmm' he said a little absentmindedly, as if he was trying to find something in her words to bridge to what he actually had to say.
'Little Rabbit.' His shoulders had shrugged, as if he would merely march on, despite the lack of conversational transition. 'I've come to give you your wedding gift…'
'But you've done so much for me already!'
'Nonsense. What are godfather's for, eh? Here it is…Dark Manor will be Bae's, I'm sure, as the male heir, and any subsequent children you both may have, I'm sure will be provided for. England is a bit up in the air about what would happen to you, I think. So I would like to make such provisions.'
'Mr. Jeffrey!'
He continued as if she hadn't said anything. 'I'd like to give you a sort of a dowry. I'm sure Rowland will put it to good use-the man can put tuppence together and they turn to pounds before your very eyes. If something were to happen to him-God forbid, Belle, God forbid, you know, you'll have money that is yours no matter what-you would have something that is entirely yours.'
'This is too much, Mr. Jeffrey!' She shook her head. 'Too much!'
'None of that, little Rabbit! You just be as happy as you can be. I knew you would do Rowland good the moment Mrs. Lucas started the racket up about Bae needing a governess. I knew you were just the sort of person he needed. Glad to find out I was right, and as long as you're happy and he is happy and little Bae is happy, and perhaps you give me a god-grandchild or two, I'll consider it all a very good investment indeed.'
Belle could say little else, there were tears in her eyes and she wrapped her arms around the man, much like she did when she was a girl of ten.
Now here she was, taking his arm, about to walk to join the man she loved, in holy matrimony. Her Mr. Gold, her Rowland, was standing in front of the little arch, leaning on his cane. He attempted to stand as tall as he could, she could tell. He had stretched his arms out over the cane, she knew that his bad leg was basically hanging limp beside his good one, all his weight placed upon the cane and the good leg. He had done this for her, had wanted to be and to look as whole as he could for her sake and as much emotion as she was feeling the sight of him immediately brought a smile to her face. When he caught sight of her entering and taking up Mr. Jeffrey's arm, he suddenly changed from a frosty stoic-almost determined looking demeanor to utter softness and a small smile played on his own face. His clear eye took in no one else but her. There was no crowd. The staff stood on one side of the room, watching the entire thing take place and as soon as Mr. Jeffrey released Belle to Rowland, he merely stood to the other side. Rowland was still sporting a smile, publicly, no less. A tear had trickled down his face at some point, leaving a shiny trail down his scarred side. He put his face down for only a moment and then looked into Belle's eyes again, looking at her in such awe that her breath hitched at all the value he seemed to see in her.
Mr. Knox was the unfortunate addition to the wedding party, though she heard later that Mr. Dove had paid him a substantial amount to keep all thoughts and feelings both towards Mr. Gold's appearance, and his opinions towards their marriage in general to himself. If Mr. Knox spoke the vows through his teeth, neither bride or groom noticed, and if Mr. Dove gave him glaring looks from time to time, no one pointed it out.
All in all, it was a beautiful wedding, even Mrs. Lucas admitted she hadn't seen a prettier one. . A wedding breakfast was full of all sorts of wonderful things. Mrs. Lucas had a grandmother's recipe for the cake. It was a two tiered confection with Grecian pillars and floral accents. Rowland smiled almost shyly as he put his hand over Belle's as they cut the traditional bottom tier.
There was no honeymoon to jump off to, as they were waiting to leave until Bae went to school
Mr. Jeffrey very graciously coaxed Bae outside to let the couple retire to the library in unchaperoned peace, or wherever they wanted to retire, he assured them and he told them not to worry about the rest of the day and winked at them-causing one to turn pink and the other to groan. Belle was especially pink as she thought about the conversation they had the week before in the library.
Belle hadn't slept well, Mrs. Lucas had asked her a thousand questions on what she would like for this or that, in terms of the wedding, and the meal following it. Bae's energy seemed to only increase as the day drew nearer. They had almost completely dropped lessons for the week, his focus being on nothing but the excitement that the entire Manor seemed filled with.
In a week's time she would be Mrs. Gold, and it was with that nervous energy that she ventured, robed and slippered, to find a book to get lost in. She had no thought of seeing Rowland there, as she had stolen into the library multiple times since the disastrous stay of the Mills family and only silence met her there.
It was not to be, this time, however, she walked in to see a small fire in the grate, and Rowland staring into it, a book cast to the side at some point during his reflections.
'Can't sleep either?' She tried to speak softly, but he jumped at her approach.
'Belle! Are you alright? Nothing troubling you is there?'
'Oh no, I simply have finished The Vicar of Wakefield and need a new book to settle me.'
'But surely not at…' He took out his pocket watch out, he was still in his day clothes-it not being quite as late as all that. 'Eleven'
Belle shrugged. 'Couldn't sleep, sir.'
He smirked a little, even if he was visibly unnerved at her robe and braided hair.
'Rowland-though I feel compelled to address you a bit formally tonight. I have this dread of seeing Mrs. Lucas at the doorway to shoo me away at some point.'
Rowland chuckled. 'She does seem to have a tendency to put a damper on things.'
'She means very well, I think.'
'Oh I know she does, I just-well, I'll be glad to have some of your conversations to myself again.'
'It'll be only a week, sir.' She bit her lip when the sir slipped out again.
He didn't seem to notice this time and rubbed the back of his neck with his good hand.
'I still can't believe it's going to happen at all. Are you-are you still happy with your decision?' His eye looked as if he really didn't know.
'Of course!' She quickly replied, smiling.
'It's just-I know about the dowry Jeffrey gave you-you'd be independent, you wouldn't even need me.'
'You're very wrong about that sir.' She smirked. The sir was placed very purposely that time.
'But I'm an ugly cripple, fifteen years your senior!'
The anguish in his voice broke her. No matter what propriety demanded, she must make him understand.
She walked closer to him, and kneeled before where he sat near the fire. She wanted to caress him, to kiss every pain away, to assure him with whispers of devotion. She would not do that, would not broach that sort of line, but she took up his hands in her own and looked pleadingly at her fiance. Hoping her own eyes showed him all the things her words could not say-not yet. Instead she simply said,
'I count myself very blessed to have the prospect of being your wife.' His breath became deeper, looking at her earnestly.
'Truly, Belle?'
'Truly.' And she knew she must lighten this dark place he was in. 'And are you truly happy with me? This isn't some ploy and hint for me to go?'
He flung his hands back as if he had been burned.
'Of course, not-I mean-I mean, I am so happy, Belle. You've made me happier than I ever thought I could be.'
Belle smiled.
'Well then, if that's the case, then I suppose I shall leave you, before we really do find Mrs. Lucas about in her nightcap.'
That was what was needed, and the conversation was ended with Rowland less tense than when she had entered. She went over to the book she had wanted and held it lovingly in her hands.
'Goodnight, sir.'
'Rowland' he growled, and she only giggled and left him.
Now, here they were in the library again. Rowland had requested tea be sent up, as they had agreed to change out of their wedding attire and freshen up before meeting there. Bae had left to go with a servant to change and then join Mr. Jeffrey but not without first wrapping his arms around Belle's neck and saying 'I'll see you later,' and he paused a second before looking up with a smiling face, 'Mama.' Which warranted a peck on the forehead from his new mama and he went happily to spend the day with Mr. Jeffrey.
Belle had shed the most constricting portions of her wedding attire and put on the favorited blue dress, though she had shining new ones-she wanted something that was significant to them. She found her husband in the library and out of his navy blue vest and into what he would consider casual attire, but was almost as sharp as the wedding garb. He was always impeccably dressed. Belle wondered at that-for a man so worried about how his face, she wondered if his beautiful clothes were a distraction from what he did not like about himself.
Rowland was sitting in the chair, cane cast to the side and looking up in expectation of her. He smiled widely when she walked in and motioned her to sit on his good side.
'Hello Mrs. Gold.' and he wrapped his arms around her waist.
Author's Note:
A few notes on the wedding and other topics talked about in this chapter:
Belle's dress is a mix of decades, and all are not the actual decade Belle is in, I'm afraid (I've placed this somewhere between 1870-1890-I know, I know, I just can't decide when to place it, lol)
I am just not as big of a fan of the later decades wedding dress, but I found a combination of a 1850s and a 1860s dress that I really loved and morphed it into hers.
I did research on inheritance, dowries, etc. and in the late 1880s a new law came into effect that would help the spouse to keep control over her own property when the husband died. it would be even later when she would get to keep her husband's property. I sort of based this on the ideas of more regency era stuff, since things in England would have been up in the air at this particular time. For example, in Sense and Sensibility, Mrs. Dashwood is only able to keep what she had before marriage, even though she had been living in riches while married. Mr. Jeffrey is making sure that Belle is taken care of, no matter what. (Though Bae would be way nicer than John Dashwood-or Fanny Dashwood-was, of course).
I also found that so many of our wedding traditions (just like Christmas) were made popular by Queen Victoria herself. The couple cutting the bottom layer of the cake was one. There would have actually been more layers and separate cakes, but since their party is so small, I decided they wouldn't have wanted anything too extravagant. Mrs. Lucas would have had them keeping to the traditions though, so I tried to walk the line of that.
I hope the flashbacks weren't too confusing, and I know I put another night time library scene in there. I hope that didn't take away from originality. I tried to both play on past experiences and give them a chance to have a conversation before the wedding happened (that wasn't chaperoned).
I hope you enjoyed the chapter! It may take me a bit longer to post the next chapter, I don't know. I have ideas of what I want to happen, but I don't have it as well organized in my head as I've had some of the other things.
