Sorry I haven't updated, but I was a tad sick over the weekend, therefore I did nothing but sit on the couch and watch TV with my dog. But, it's here! Chapter Five, my god!

In this wonderful little section, you'll find Roger and Benny verbally duking it out (playfully, of course), and Collins loves spaghetti. Enjoy!

(And yes, Roger is a total asshole. But that's why I love him!)


Roger and April were at the loft talking when the three came in. The first thing to come out of Roger's mouth was, "Well look who it is, Mr. Big Business himself, dressed in a suit! Muffy's little lapdog, huh?" Benny grinned.

"And the asshole guitarist, somehow still managing to pick up girls despite all of his shortcomings." Roger scoffed.

"Shortcomings? Benny, I have no shortcomings." Benny laughed.

"That's what they all say." He winked at April. "Your girlfriend knows what I'm talking about, don't you?" April laughed and Roger glared.

"Don't make me kick your ass, Benny. I'll mess you and your suit up."

"Oh, please! Not the suit, Roger, anything but the suit!" Everyone laughed, and Benny leaned against a wall. "Besides, I need to keep this suit clean. I've got a meeting with Allison's dad."

"Satan's bitch?"

"The one and only." Roger laughed.

"Oh, man. That sucks worse than anything I could say. Muffy's dad is a monster." Benny pouted.

"Hey, you know, I am the son-in-law to this monster."

"You're the one who nicknamed him bitch of the underworld."

"True." Mark took off his jacket and smiled and April.

"How was brunch?" April shook her head.

"The boy wouldn't know the meal if it hit him on the head." Mark laughed and Roger looked up.

"I swear to God, one more mention of brunch and I'm jumping out the window."

"No need to jump out any windows, babe," April replied. "We ate hot dogs," she whispered, and when Mark made a face, she giggled.

"That's Roger for you," he said, taking Roger's empty seat.

"For your information, Roger," Benny was saying, "I look damn fine in this suit." Roger snorted.

"I look better in my outfit than you will ever look in a suit. I mean, I'm like fucking clothed sex right here."

"Please. You're all scruffy and probably haven't taken a shower in days. I, however, am spiffy-looking and squeaky-clean." Roger pouted.

"I took a shower last night, Mr. Clean!" He folded his arms over his chest. "You only wish you could be as sexy as I am." Collins chuckled, sitting next to April and Mark.

"This is too amusing to stop." Both nodded their heads, amused. Roger and Benny had always engaged in this playful banter from almost the first time they met. And it was always about who was more attractive.

"I don't have to wish, Roger, I already am," Benny countered, blowing on his chuckles and rubbing them against this chest.

"Sexier than me? I've got a girlfriend."

"My girlfriend married me." Roger raised an eyebrow.

"No shit!" Benny held up the ring. Roger snorted. "What did you promise her? Your soul? Or else Muffy's brainwashed." Benny laughed, holding his hands up.

"Alright, alright. I'll give you this round, Mr. Davis. But next time...next time, I'm gonna win." Roger grinned.

"Don't bet on it."

"Do you know Benny owns our building now?" Mark chirped, smiling. Roger looked at Benny.

"Two surprises in one day! You're kidding me."

"I kid you not, Roger. I'm two steps away from owning this building."

"Who did you have to fuck to get this piece of shit?" Benny winked.

"You don't want to know." Roger laughed.

"Why don't you stay over, Benny? We'll have a few drinks, get plastered. It'll be great." Benny smiled, but shook his head.

"Trust me, as much as I would love to engage in drunken activities with my former roomies, the call of the devil's whore is upon me, and Allison would kill me if I didn't meet her dad." Roger shrugged.

Collins spoke up, "Well, there will always be drunken activities waiting for you when you come back," and they all laughed. Maureen came in, smiling.

"What's up?" She looked around and her eyes landed on Benny. "Whoa. What's with the suit? Who did you blow to get that?" Benny laughed.

"Maureen. Have you been smoking the crack rock lately again? I told you that was bad for you." Maureen laughed, and held her arms out; plastic bags dangled from her arms.

"Come give me a hug, you bastard." They embraced, and she gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek.

"What's in the bags, Maureen?" Mark asked as she placed them on the table.

"Lunch!" she announced, and took her treats out of the bags. Collins smiled.

"Maureen, I might just have to marry you. My favorite meal! Spaghetti and meatballs." They all laughed, and she gave Collins the first plate.

"Well, I asked them if I could take any extras home from the cafeteria, and they gave me two plastic bags full." Maureen worked at a huge restaurant in a food court. Sometimes there would be enough left over that she could take some home, which the boys loved. It was a temporary job, however, and she was trying to leave it as soon as she could. But, until she could leave it, Maureen was happy with the free food perk, especially with two hungry guys.

"Maureen, have I told you how much I love you lately?" Roger said, smiling. Maureen rolled her eyes.

"Suck-up."

"I'll do anything for food." They all laughed. "Want some?" Roger asked Benny, holding up a plate.

"Sorry," Benny said as a small beeper went off, "but that's my cue to scoot on out and face the fires of hell. I'll try and come by tomorrow, okay? Maybe bring Allison."

"Muffy?" Maureen said, perking up at the name. "I haven't seen her in seven forevers! Tell her I say hi!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll see you later!" Benny said, and he was quickly out the door. Mark gave Maureen an affectionate kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you for the food," he said, and Maureen wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Anything for my Pookie," she said, giving him a huge smooch. Roger made a gagging noise.

"Not while I'm eating!" he said, and Collins and April laughed while Mark and Maureen gave Roger cold glares. "Please. I lose enough sleep as it is," he continued, "please don't deprive me of my lunchtime." Maureen walked over and whapped Roger on the back of the head. "Heeey! April! Did you see that? Boyfriend abuse!"

"It's because you're such a smart-ass," April replied with a smile, and Roger winced, as if she had punched him. Maureen laughed.

"Roger's denied the girlfriend back-up! What's he going to do now?" she taunted, and he just raised an eyebrow.

"Keep on being an asshole like I always am. But this might mean I'll have to reserve sex for a few nights from my girlfriend." The whole table laughed.

"That's one I haven't heard before, Roger," Collins said. "A boyfriend saying no to sex from his girlfriend."

"I know, it's desperate," said Roger, "but, sometimes you just gotta draw the line. I mean, enough is enough sometimes. All she thinks about is sex, I swear. I mean, I can't help it if I'm so fucking sexy girls can't keep their hands off of me, but, c'mon, my body is not an object. April can't just use me for sex anymore, she's got to learn to respect my mind." As Roger finished, everyone looked at each other in silence. And then they proceeded to laugh their asses off. "What? What is this!"

"Oh, please," Maureen gasped. "Respect your mind? Oh god, that's cracks me up!" He pouted.

"What! I can't help it if people can't look past my foxy exterior to the real Roger inside." Again, more laughter. "Assholes!" Roger shouted, pointing to them all as they were gasping for air, holding their stomachs. "It's a curse having looks as good as these!" April flung her arms around Roger, giggling.

"Oh, sweetie, it's a curse all right. Now why don't you shut that pretty little mouth of yours and keep eating like a good boy?" Roger pouted, and shrugged.

"Okay. Because I love you so much." And April kissed the top of his head as he stuffed a mouthful of spaghetti into his mouth.

"Did you do anything exciting today, Maureen?" Mark asked, and Maureen smiled.

"Nothing out of the ordinary, Pookie."

Out of the corner of their eyes, Roger and April gave each other a quick glance.


The last part was kind of an excuse for Roger to say 'foxy'. Because, you know, no one uses that word anymore! And it's such a good word too.

Next section I'll put reviews up again! You know I'm a total slave to reviews.