The Witch King of Angmar

So we left off with the Witch King leaving his home to find Frodo Baggins of the Shire and attain mango ice cream for Sauron before 4 o'clock.

Now, he was to take his horse. The horse's name was Bonzo, named after John Bonham of Led Zeppelin. The Witch King loved to rock out to their music.

Anyways, Bonzo was a very special horse. He could talk! And he was smart. Smarter than anyone in Middle Earth. Unfortunetly, no one believed that he was, so it resulted in the Witch King ignoring Bonzo's advice and always getting into bad situations. Much like the one that you will see today.

PS The Witch King loves his horse a little too much...

"Alright Bonzo, looks like today we're on a journey to find ma-"

"I know already, the stable is right next to the phone."

"Bonzo, you know the rules about interrupting Mummy! Now, we are going to find a nice boy named Frodo who will give us some mango ice cream for Dadd- I mean, Sauron..."

"It's ok, I know about your affair with Sauron."

"My silly baby, you've been watching too much Maury! Knowing what an affair is, my goodness, horses these days!"

Bonzo rolled his eyes.

"Whatever."

After that little conversation, the Witch King and Bonzo set out for the Shire. Already lost, Bonzo convinced the Witch King to stop and ask for directions in Osgiliath. First he asked an old man.

"Sorry to bother you sir, but Im looki-"

"AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

The old man ran away.

"How rude!"

The Witch King then recognized someone familiar. Why, it was Faramir! Oh, how he longed for the day that he could speak to Faramir! The Witch King fancied him.

"Faramir! He-"

"NAZGUL! NAZGUL! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Everyone in Osgiliath left and ran back to Minas Tirith. All but Faramir.

"Today is the day that I destroy you! Be gone once and for all, you evil demon thing, you!"

The Witch King's feelings were hurt! He was in love with Faramir and now...now he...he hated the Witch King!

"You evil demon thing, you! Evil! Evil! Evil! Evil demon! Demon! Demon! Demon evil! Evil!"

Faramir's rambling carried on like this for a few minutes. The Witch King fell asleep. But Bonzo kept his lookout, and to his horror...

"Witch King, Witch King! Wake up! It's her! IT'S HER!"

"It's who?"

"HER! The one they always talk about! You-know-who!"

"...Susanne?"

"No, not Susanne!"

"Sweetie Bonzy Bo, I dont know what you're talking about. But it's best we ask someone else for advice, Faramir seems to be skipping."

They left Osgiliath and Faramir behind. The words "Evil" and "Demon" quickly faded away. But someone followed.

"Witchy, we're being followed."

"No, we aren't, pookie bear! You're just silly!"

"Whatever."

The Witch King rode Bonzo into an orchird of apple trees. The air became rather thick with, not fog, but makeup powder?"

The Witch King jumped off of Bonzo.

"What is this new devilry?"

There was silence. Then, all of a sudden, about 43989875369234587620346329587610876495872436758340651837465 lights turned on!

Someone started to snap their fingers in a profound ghetto way.

"Muhahahaha to YOU, GIRL!"