Ah, the strip club. It's pretty crazy, and I'm not totally happy with it. But once we're back at the loft, things will get funnier, promise!
And much love to everyone who reviews! I know it has no plot...but that's the fun part about it! Hah!
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, I just write.
When they actually got in the strip club, Collins was nice enough to calm everyone down and stop the singing. "Collins, have I told you how much I love you lately?" Roger said, batting his eyelashes.
"Well, I know when we get drunk you're gonna tell me about twelve times over," the teacher said, flashing him a smile.
Roger shrugged. "I like to love people when I'm drunk. What's wrong with that?"
"Well, when you start dancing around and giving people lap dances," Alison replied, "that's a little wrong. Especially when you have a girlfriend."
The musician stuck his tongue out at her. "You love it, Muffy. You love me giving you drunken lap dances because it's fucking HOT."
"Oh, I'll make sure he's tame," April reassured her, holding Roger's arm and giving him a little look as they walked further away from the entrance. "Where are we anyway, Collins?" she asked, and it was Benny who answered.
"Where Collins and I used to go a long time ago." He winked at April, and Roger made a face. "It's called Bar With No Name."
Mark rolled his eyes. "So when I asked them where they would go, they would always tell me, 'Oh, just a bar with no name', and wink at each other." He glared at both of them. "And they knew it drove me crazy."
"Have you been here before, Pookie?" Maureen asked, cocking her head at her boyfriend curiously.
"21st birthday," he replied, and glanced briefly at the now-empty stage. "Roger gave me play money to pay the strippers with." As Roger started to snicker, Mark gave an icy-blue glare to the rocker. "He thought it was pretty damn funny when the manager started to chase me around, demanding real money, and I kept shouting that it was real money."
"Mark didn't know Roger had bought as much play money as he possibly could from the Dollar Tree in the closest mall," Collins specified, "and then said he was going to let Mark have his savings to spend on the strippers."
"You put money in some stripper's thong!" Maureen said, giving the Jewish boy a punch on the shoulder. Mark shook his head, blushing.
"Roger took the liberty of doing that part," Collins mentioned, and April glared at Roger, who merely smirked. "We eventually got chased out of this place and by the time we came back, they had forgotten about the incident. Luckily."
"Hey, we all got out okay, didn't we?" Roger said, and Benny, Mark, and Collins all looked at him.
"I was forever scarred because that was my first strip club experience," Mark said.
"I got drenched in beer that day because the manager punched me in the face for being with you," Collins added.
"The best strip club back then, and I got kicked out of it because of YOU," Benny scowled.
"Well just EXCUSE ME for putting more excitement into your boring lives!" Roger said, throwing up his arms. "We're not getting kicked out right now, are we?" He looked at them all.
"Hold me back," Benny muttered, "before I punch Roger's lights out."
"Pfft. Who says that anymore, Benny? You lame ass." Roger grinned as Benny was restrained by Collins and Alison. "HAH! Punch my lights out?" he taunted, that smirk on his face. "You couldn't even touch me, Benjamin Coffin the Third. I'm unbeatable, anyway! Think you could take me on? PSH. I would kick your ass in a second." Collins and Alison both looked at Roger, then each other.
"Kick his ass, then, Roger," Collins said, smiling, as the two let go of Benny. Benny grinned, and Roger pouted.
"Guys, you're not supposed to actually let him go. You're supposed to hold him while I taunt."
"Come here, you fucking asshole," Benny growled, and leaped at Roger, who merely dodged out of the way, and laughed, smacking Benny's cheek.
"Bitch slap!"
"ROGER!" Roger ran, laughing, as the rest of the group watched them as they bounced into various people and waitresses.
"So, ladies and Mark," Collins said, grinning, "shall we take a seat?"
"He totally ish smexy," Mark slurred. They had more than a few drinks, and it was looking doubtful if they could walk home like this.
"Psssssssssh," Maureen said, waving her hand. "Yeash right. I don't think Brad Pitt could COMPARE to the smexy, smexy Denzel Washington." Maureen sighed, all of her motions exaggerated. "I would totally do him in a shecond."
"No, no," Mark replied, holding up a drooping finger to make his point. "Brad Pitt would totally rocksh anyone. Have you seen hish movies?" Mark sighed, leaning back in his chair with a loud thump. "Fight Club ish one of the best movies eva."
Maureen smacked him. "PLEASH! Denzel could kick his ASS. I means, you look at Much To Do 'Bout Nuffin? He wash HOOOOOOOT. Hotter than Brad Pitt ANY DAY."
"Meet Joe Black wash HOT," Mark argued, slamming his drink on the table.
As Maureen and Mark continued the pointless argument of the sexiest man between the two choices, April and Collins were having a contest on who could drink the most shots...and make the empty shot glasses into a pyramid. So far, Collins was winning. "I've got chu beat," he muttered, smiling.
April growled, "I-I'm gettin' there." She downed another shot, and placed it on the top. "Collinssss," she uttered, "I tink I'm almost done. It'sh...I dunno." It was then that Roger came up from behind her.
"Ooooh, hey, sexay girl," he said, clumsly knocking his head into hers. "What are you doing?"
"About to pass out," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Wanna dance?" he asked, smiling, and she shook her head slowly. "Awwww, why not? It'll be fun, I promise," he said, and April shook her head again.
"Roger," she said, patting his cheek, "look atsh me. I'm sooooo drunk right now." She pointed to the small pyramid of shot glasses. "I mean, c'mon. I'm druuunk."
It was then that Alison decided to get up on the bar and dance. "I can be a stripper too!" she slurred, wiggling around and lifting her shirt to expose her tummy.
Roger let out a loud whoop, and Collins said loudly, "Maybe you shouldn't do thats, Alison!"
"I'll do whateva I wanna!" she screamed back, and Benny smiled at her.
"That's my wife! That's my wife!"
Mark and Maureen looked up for a second, and then Mark looked back to his girlfriend, pushing her lightly on the shoulder and frowning. "Brad Pitt wins the smexy contest." Maureen screeched something loud and high, and Collins and April looked over to the two, blinking.
When men starting giving money to Alison for yelling to the whole club she was going to take her cra off under her shirt, that's when the manager decided that was enough. "I'm sorry, ma'am," he said sternly, "but that's the reason I have girls taking off their clothes, to make ME money. Now if you could please leave..."
Benny sneered. "But you only wish you had my hotness of a wife stripping for you." Alison wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Only for chu, baby. I only strip for you."
"AND ME!" Roger yelled, grinning. "She strips for me behind your BACK!" He stuck his tongue out at Benny, who blinked and paused for a moment, then ran at Roger again.
"You take that BACK, Roger Davish!"
"MAKE ME!" Roger said, and then proceeded another drunken chase.
Collins sighed. "Let'sh go. I mean, we betta go just 'cause." April nodded, and swayed as she got up, Collins helping her. "Mark? Maureen? Come on."
"BRAD PITT, DAMMIT!"
"DENZEL'S THE FUCKING SMEXIST MAN EVA!" They continued along these lines out the door, and Collins made sure to grab Alison right before they went out.
Roger ran out a few moments later, tripping and stumbling, while Benny followed shortly after. "YOU COME BACK HERE, BITCH!" Benny yelled, waving a fist.
"You're da bitch!" Roger lamely taunted back, running into Mark and Maureen as he backed up. "Whoop! Watch out for that first step!"
"What the HELL are you talking about, Roger?" Maureen slurred, slapping him out of the blue.
"OW!" Roger yelped, and sobered up a little. "You WHORE!"
Maureen let out a banshee-like scream. "You're the WHORE!"
"You are!"
"You are!"
"BITCH!"
"SLUT!"
"HUSSY!"
"STRUMPET!" Maureen screeched before pouncing on Roger, who promptly screeched himself. She started to punch him, but considering her alcohol consumption, she wasn't doing much damage. Collins and a very confused Mark helped tear them apart, and the group staggered home.
Roger leaned against the door as Collins tried to open it. "You won't open it."
"Fuck this key," Collins muttered. "Fuck this door."
"Fuck!" Mark cried out merrily, and Collins turned to glare at him a moment before going back to open the door.
"You won't open it," Roger said again, a smile on his face.
"Then you try opening it, you drunk bitch," Alison said, and Roger raised an eyebrow.
"Don't make me hurt chu in yo sleep, Muffy."
"You wouldn't dare."
"I'm like a snake I'm so sneaky," Roger replied, grinning, hissing.
"You're druuuunk," Alison said, sticking her tongue out at him. Roger kept hissing.
Collins opened the door. Roger fell on the floor, half-yelled, half-hissed, and said, "Fucking mother fucker," then passed out. A moment of silence fell on the crowd. Benny then walked in the loft and shrugged.
"It's Roger." Then they all murmured agreement, shrugged, and walked over Roger. They all attempted to get some water or eat something...and quickly passed out on or by the couches. Whatta night.
Had some fun? Reviews are love. Next is Mark's birthday, bweehee!
