Chapter TW: Parental abuse
Celina Cisco, 17
District 10
All her life, Celina Cisco had been told what she could do. Or, more specifically, what she couldn't do. Her very first memories were of her mother urging her to "be a lady," whatever the hell that meant.
"Celina, ladies don't run with their skirts hiked up."
"Celina, ladies don't sit with their legs open."
What did it really mean to be a lady? And what the fuck did it mean to be "ladylike"? Celina was already a girl. Surely that meant that everything she did should be considered ladylike, right?
She longed for what the other kids had. She would listen wistfully at school when the other kids in her class talked about their evenings the day before; running through fields, wading into creeks up to their chests, peeing in bushes and chasing birds. There were no other kids her age in her neighborhood, but she liked to stare out the window and pretend there were other kids playing outside, and that she was playing with them.
But her parents had other plans. While her peers got to suck fresh air into their lungs and pick wild berries off the bushes, Celina was stuck inside her small, muggy house, waiting by her father's side. Sometimes he needed his water glass refilled. Sometimes he needed his dishes taken and washed. Sometimes he needed the mail brought was Celina's favorite job. She got to go outside and walk all the way to the end of the walkway to the mailbox. She tried skipping once, but her parents made it clear that she was not to do it again. Her job, her purpose, was to help her father. Not to have fun.
"It's good practice," her mother would say. "For when you have a husband someday."
Celina learned quickly that if she ever wanted to have any fun, she would have to take matters into her own hands. By the time she was six, she had figured out the latch on her bedroom window, on the other side of the small house from where her parents slept. Once out the window, Celina would run as if her life depended on it (which, in a way, it did), her running start giving her the momentum she needed to leap over the neighbor's fence and into the cow pasture nearby. The first few times she did this, she spooked the cows. Her heart broke for them as she watched their ducked heads and baleful eyes, staring at her as if she might hurt them like her father did with his prod. But before long, the cows realized that the little girl wasn't there to hurt them. She was there to dance.
Celina was always the kind of girl who could dance without any music. Who needed instruments and vocalists to guide them when they had the wind rustling leaves in trees, tiny waterfalls splashing into creeks, and the low call of the owls and cows in the night? So every night, Celina would run to the cows and show them her best twirls, leaps, and skips. The cows never danced with her. Maybe they just didn't know how. She hoped they liked watching her.
She kept up the dancing for admittedly longer than she thought she would be able to. One night when she was eight her mother got up in the middle of the night and found her bed empty. Celina still remembered how it felt when she was dragged home by her ear that night, and watched the next morning as her father bolted her window shut, trying in vain not to cry.
Despite her best efforts to not let what her parents said get to her, Celina found herself forced to conform to their wishes for as long as she lived with them. What was the alternative? Sure, it was hard when she added the eggs to the water before it came to a rolling boil. "Does that feel like it's boiling?" her mother had asked as she shoved Celina's hand into the pot of water. It was certainly hot enough to leave her ten-year-old hand permanently burned.
For years, Celina felt trapped, not only in her house, but in her own head. Granted, she didn't really have anyone to tell her otherwise, but she couldn't shake the feeling that the life she was being forced to live was not normal. Were people supposed to just be sad? Was the sense of boredom and longing she felt so much just what everyone else felt all the time too?
When Celina was ten, she met Jarrell Bartlett, and the older she got, the more she came to realize that the tall boy with the curly hair might just have saved her life. How cliché. The two were introduced as children for purely political reasons; Celina's parents wanted her to end up with a wealthy, well educated man, and Jarrell's parents wanted him with a woman who would give them grandchildren and not think too much for herself. It made sense. What better way to plant the seeds of marriage than by making them friends first?
But without even meaning to, Jarrell opened Celina's sheltered mind to parts of the world she never would have otherwise found. In particular, Jarrell introduced Celina to science, specifically biology. He came from a long line of wealthy men who worked in District 10's livestock genetic engineering labs. The idea of using genetics to make cows, chickens, and pigs grow bigger, stronger, and healthier seemed like nothing short of magical to the child, and was enthralled. Within weeks, she would announce to anyone who would listen that she wanted to be a geneticist when she grew up. If her parents wanted her to grow up to be rich, why did she have to marry a scientist? Why couldn't she just be one herself?
But as she got older, the lessons from Celina's parents became less about what she was not allowed to do as their daughter, and more about what she was not capable of doing as a woman.
"What makes you think you can be a scientist, Celina?"
Despite her parents' best efforts, nothing could quench Celina's desire to learn, to create, to innovate. She worked her ass off to get accepted into her school's Biolab program. For years she studied, asked questions, and did independent study so that by the time she turned 16 and was able to take the entrance exam, she would be prepared for it. Still, had she not been leant textbooks and other materials from Jarrell, there would have been no way she would have passed the exam.
But she did pass, and she was not only the only only poor student to do so, but the only girl. Overcome with emotions ranging from ecstatic to terrified, she found herself in Jarrell's bed that night, finally together after years of wondering will we? won't we? And though she still resented the idea that she was expected to marry the boy, she found that she liked sex with him. Maybe she just liked sex. Was that an option?
She snuck out the next morning, wanting to avoid the inevitable awkward conversation, and found herself inside the lab in the early morning hours. It was technically closed on Saturdays, but the building's janitor must have sensed her hunger to be inside and covertly cracked the door for her, avoiding eye contact as if that would mean he hadn't just done that.
And she danced. Barely aware of how feral she must have looked with her rumpled clothes, tangled hair, and day-old smudged eye makeup, she threw herself around the hallways, her rubber soled shoes slapped against the hard linoleum, echoing through the empty building. And after years of feeling stranded on an island, she finally found her purpose.
Tohias Luminoso, 18
District 10
If there was one thing Tohias had learned in his 18 years of life, it was that most of the things people put off doing out of fear aren't as bad as they worried they would be. Some people struggled to motivate themselves to do a homework assignment that only took 20 minutes once they sat down and did it. For others, it was gathering the courage to admit their feelings for a crush who ended up having feelings for them as well. For Tohias, the big hurdle in his life that he couldn't seem to jump was coming out to his parents.
For a while, it seemed like the kind of thing that could just go unsaid. He didn't see why his parents had to be involved in his personal life in that way, and he figured that once he found the man he wanted to be with forever, he could simply introduce him to his parents as his boyfriend and the family could take it in stride. This was planned strategically, to say the least. Tohias wasn't sure how his father Talenso "Pick Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps" "Rub Some Dirt In It" "Take It Like A Man" Luminoso would respond to his only son coming out as gay.
But sooner rather than later, the conversation became unavoidable.
Tohias had always had friends growing up. He was outspoken, spunky, and stuck up for people who were being mistreated, making him a more than desirable friend. But through his entire childhood, his constant was his best friend, Tamarind Magala, a sweet boy who was everything Tohias wasn't. Tamarind was soft spoken, gentle, and caring; the perfect juxtaposition to Tohias, who knew that he himself was a bit of an acquired taste.
The day started like any other. The boys were 15 and 16 and hanging out in an old shed at the edge of Tohias's family's property after school. It was the second weekend in September, and it was just starting to cool down. The window was cracked, and they could hear the soft rustling of the leaves still clinging desperately to the branches.
"Do you ever…" Tamarind's voice trailed off, and he fixed his eyes on the ground. "Never mind."
"No, what's up?" Tohias asked, setting his homework aside.
"You've never had a girlfriend," Tamarind said. Tohias nodded slowly. "Why?"
"I guess I just… I've never really had feelings for a girl."
"Me neither."
Tohias didn't know what to say, so he went back to his homework. Rather, he pretended to go back to his homework. It was hard to focus. Tamarind spoke again.
"So do you ever think you might be-"
"Yeah," Tohias said. "Yeah, I do."
Sometime during their conversation, the boys had moved closer to each other. Tohias didn't remember moving, but he must have. He found himself looking deeply into his friend's eyes, reading him in a way that he never had before. He had never had any romantic feelings towards Tamarind, and he still didn't think he did. But for some reason, his breaths were coming in shallow, and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. His eyes flickered down to Tamarind's parted lips for a split second before returning up. Tohias leaned in just barely, and he prayed that Tamarind would close the gap.
He did.
Tohias had kissed people before. Sure, he had never been in a relationship, but he had friends. He'd played truth or dare and spin the bottle. But he had only ever kissed girls. He could tell immediately that this kiss was different. He cupped Tamarind's cheek with his hand, and Tamarind rested his hand on Tohias's chest.
When they were done, Tohias expected it to be awkward. He was glad it wasn't. They separated, looked each other in the eyes, and immediately started laughing.
"That was so weird!" Tamarind exclaimed. "Let's never do that again."
"What's wrong?" Tohias asked, his lips twisting into a smirk. "Afraid you'll fall in love with me or something?"
Tamarind went home after that, and Tohias stayed in the shed to be alone with his thoughts. He knew with absolute certainty that he didn't like Tamarind in any way other than as a friend. But he also knew that he couldn't act like their kiss meant nothing. If a kiss with a boy that he didn't even have feelings for could tie his stomach in knots and make his heart do backflips, how would he feel if he ever found a boy that he did like? And what if he kissed him?
His thoughts were interrupted by banging on the door of the shed. He peered out the still open window and found Tamarind, a blooming black eye visible even in the twilight. He had a backpack slung over his shoulder.
"I told my parents," he said, his voice thick with tears. "They said to get out. I didn't know where else to go, so I-"
"Let's go inside."
The boys walked in silence together to Tohias's main house. It only took a few minutes, but it was enough time for him to run through every possible negative outcome. What if his parents kicked him out too? What if they didn't believe him? What if they said they were sorry, but Tamarind couldn't stay?
Tohias made him stay outside while he talked to his parents. He explained things delicately to them; how Tamarind realized he was gay and didn't want to keep it a secret, so he told his parents immediately, and they kicked him out.
"That's horrible," Tohias's mother said. "What kind of parents would abandon their child just because of who they love?"
His father didn't say anything. If his mother noticed, she didn't say anything. She got up to set up the guest room for Tamarind, and once she was out of earshot, Tohias turned to his father.
"So?" he asked, treading lightly. "What do you think?"
"About what?"
"What Mom said. About abandoning your kid just because they're gay."
"It's their choice, I guess."
The next words flew out of Tohias's mouth before he got a chance to stop them.
"What if it was your kid? Like, what if Yaluna was a lesbian?"
"That would be wonderful," Talenso said. "She'd stay away from boys."
"Well… What if I was… you know." He paused. "Gay?"
The silence was deafening. Tohias felt tears spring to his eyes as his father seemed to stare into his soul. His dad raised his eyebrows, the corners of his eyes softening ever so slightly. Tohias nodded. In an instant, his father reached over and wrapped him in a bear hug, whispering the best thing he could have possibly said:
"I am so proud of you."
Rusty Falco, 48
Victor of the 68th Hunger Games: District 10
Rusty had a love/hate relationship with Reaping Day. On the one hand, seeing an entire District full of impoverished kids trying to dress nicely would make for a fantastic juxtaposing photoshoot. But he hated it because as District 10's only living male Victor, he always had to work and never got the chance to practice his art.
Rusty loved photography. He loved capturing real life, no matter how raw and real it got. Most of his pictures were children with their ribs showing, older ranch hands with wounds from being kicked by horses, and mutilated animals ruined by failed genetic engineering projects.
His dream was to show the photos to people in the Capitol. But Rusty didn't have a death wish. He knew that even his status as a Victor wouldn't save him if he ever tried to expose Panem as anything other than hard working Districts surrounding the Capitol. He'd be executed, and the pictures would be immediately destroyed. He'd die for nothing.
So he kept the pictures to himself. Although he was never able to share them with anyone outside of his family and friends in his District, he kept them as a reminder to himself that no matter what he had to do to win his Games, he would never be more evil than the Capitol.
The Reaping wasn't too exciting. Belinda always got the female tribute, and Rusty always got the male. The girl, Celina, was very tall and pretty enough, but didn't stand out much other than that. As for Tohias, Rusty got the feeling that he would prove to be a bit of a handful. Clad in a mesh top and a billowing cape, he didn't walk up to the stage as much as he strutted, his lips placed in a pout and his chin raised ever so slightly. When he took his place next to Celina, he stared straight ahead into the camera recording him and gave a flashy wink. At least he had a personality. He could work with that.
"Is there anything either of you would like to say?" asked Vernon Gravedigger, District 10's escort.
Celina gave a gentle shake of her head, but Tohias leaned in towards the microphone. "I can't believe it!" he exclaimed. "I mean, obviously I can because I'm up here, but a man had plans. I guess I'll have to take a raincheck!"
With that, the tributes were ushered into the Justice Building to say their goodbyes, and Rusty looked over to Belinda on his left.
"Trade?" he asked, his eyes pleading.
"Absolutely not."
Thanks to Ripple237 for Celina and DracarysWolf for Tohias!
1. Who did you like better, Celina or Tohias?
2. What did you like about them?
3. What didn't you like about them?
4. Thoughts on Rusty?
5. Any predictions?
