Disclaimer: I'm not sure if I have to disclaim Tretin or not. Mercedes Lackey gave him a paragraph, I gave him a twenty eight (and counting) chapter story. For the more clear cut cases, some stuff is mine and some isn't. I guess you all probably have it figured out by now.
Heh, I'm working on a couple of angsty oneshots as well as this story, since those seem to be going around these days, and also I just felt like writing some. Chapter 28 of this takes precedence though. Look how good I am being about updating! Yay! Lol, we shall see how long it takes to sort out all the messes I'm shoving my characters in left and right.
The review stream appears to have dried up for this chapter, though. Is everyone too busy to read FanFiction all of a sudden?
Tenshi: Glad you thought that chapter came out ok, its good to have a second opinion. Sometimes when I start to over edit I can't tell anymore if I'm going where I should be.
In case anyone noticed and was wondering, Karissa has gotten rather worse over the span of the story. After Treet patched her up a little bit, she snarled herself right back up again and worse than before as well. The shields don't help it either and those are a fairly new development. All will become clear with Karissa soon, though.
Anyhow. Guys, if you're reading this, review! It makes me happy, and it makes me want to write faster! Update on the final chapter count – it looks as though we may hit forty chapters after all, I had to tweak my outline a bit. Anyway, without further ado, I give you chapter 28!
Chapter 28: Warnings
True to form, the first thing Karissa tried upon waking was a violent attempt to throw herself out of bed. For a moment she had no idea where she was, only that she was blessedly clear headed and had had some horrible nightmare about a fever, a bunch of Healers and a long trip to Haven. Sight blurred, she blinked. Almost instantly the smell of the room she was in and the soothing color of the walls told her that at least some of what had happened to her hadn't been a dream. She then attempted to throw herself out of her bed and deliver a pounding to whoever had put her there. Much to her surprise, she found that she could barely lift her head off of her pillow, much less pound anyone.
The second thing she attempted to do was eminently more sensible. Somewhat timidly, after she quickly wondered how the weather in mid-Karse was, she mentally reached for Veria, who she found in a surprisingly good temper. Well, if you discounted the blistering mental shout as merely formulaic.
:Have you any idea how you terrified me? You simply passed out almost directly on the Border. Of all the pig ignorant, stubborn,utterly Heraldic things to do: Veria blasted, having been planning this lecture for most of a moon.
:What did I do: Karissa asked confusedly, still trying to sort out dreams from fact. She had either abandoned Veria and ran miles through the forest pursued by green furred monsters, or she had fallen ill of some sort of fever and refused to be Healed.
Karissa could almost hear Veria's snort all the way from Companion's Field. She certainly felt it. :You rushed off into a fever-stricken village. You refused to allow the kind Healer you fetched to ascertain whether you had actually contracted anything. You then threatened to walk to Haven yourself in order to get away from her. You fell off of my back and passed out, burning with fever. I had to call another Companion to bring a Healer to you. You utterly refused to allow any of the Healers at the temple to Heal you, and your shields stopped them quite nicely from trying anything so foolhardy as assisting you. I then had to pour a constant stream of energy into you to keep you safe until we could get you to Haven, where you again refused to let anyone near you, forcing me to knock you unconscious, for which privilege I had to have a very nice conversation with the Groveborn, since that's not exactly something I'm supposed to do. Then, when a certain Trainee Healer of yours finally managed to Heal you, since you wouldn't have anyone else, you forced the aforementioned Trainee to channel energy through your own immune system since even he couldn't get fully past those fortress shields of yours. As a result, you should have plenty of time to think on the consequences of your actions, as you will probably be too weak to move for weeks yet.: Veria said, deeming it prudent not to mention the Healers' discoveries about the strength of Karissa's Gift. Veria, of course, had always known that Karissa should be a strong Mindspeaker, but had only recently discovered exactly how Karissa was blocking her own Gift.
:In fact: Veria continued meditatively, :Perhaps you should be glad you cannot move from that bed, because if I could get my hooves on you, you would find yourself in mid-Karse.:
:Oh.: Memories were coming back to Karissa, slowly but surely.
:Chosen, darling: Veria continued in a gentler tone. :Mostly, when people become Heralds, they leave their past behind them. Often their pasts are as painful as yours, some are more so. Don't you think it might be time to let go:
:If I thought so, I would have done it by now, wouldn't I: Karissa asked acerbically, definitively ending that line of questioning.
:Maybe you just need a little help. You know, Haven has a very good Mindhealer. She might like to visit with you. I'm sure you two would have a lot to talk about. You might even find it interesting.: Veria offered cautiously.
:Don't cozen me, Veria! I know fine well what you want me to do; you want me to let that woman muck around in my mind until there isn't anything left of what I am or used to be. The Terilee will turn to wine before I allow that, I swear it: Karissa said angrily.
Veria simply sighed. It wasn't a new argument between her and her Chosen.
:Veria, how long do I have to stay here for: Karissa asked in a frightened tone a few minutes later. :I want out.:
:You'll be too weak to move for the next moon, Chosen, you need to be where the Healers can keep an eye on you. You were sicker than you know, and moving you all the way to Haven didn't help.:
If Karissa had had the energy, she would probably have shrieked or thrown something. She could see a deliciously fragile looking glass beaker of water that would have made a satisfying crash as it hit those annoyingly green walls. Who would be laughing then? Unfortunately, the beaker lay just out of Karissa's reach and anyway, she knew that she shouldn't make trouble for the Healers.
:Veria, I don't want to be here: Karissa wailed silently, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. Karissa rarely cried, but in this situation she just couldn't help it. Just the thought of being constantly under the eye of a Healer made her feel like being violently sick. At any moment, they could come in, touch her, poke at her. Every instant she spent in this building made her feel as though the Shadow Lover himself was hanging over her. She knew, of course, that he was, that he would be every day of her life, but she wished his presence were a little less obvious.
:Chosen, you're shouting: Veria reminded Karissa gently.
This reply frustrated Karissa almost limitlessly. Even her Companion couldn't understand. Karissa closed out Veria as totally as she could and turned her face into the pillow, fighting a losing battle against the half-hysterical tears of fear and misery that threatened to overwhelm her façade of calmness.
She was lost to the world for some undefined amount of time after that until she heard someone open her door. Glad that she usually cried silently and that illness was a handy excuse for a face marked by tears, Karissa grasped her emotions with an iron will and ruthlessly suppressed them, stopping the tears and lying as if asleep.
Karissa's rigid posture gave her away instantly, and even if it hadn't, not even a marginal Empath could mistake the aura of the room for the gentle rhythms of sleep.
Treet pushed open the door with some trepidation. All day, he had eagerly awaited the dinner hour, having secured the privilege of bringing Karissa her evening tray. Now that the moment was upon him, however, he wondered if she would want to see him. And even if she did, how could he bear to see her? Knowing Karissa, she might deeply resent him for having Healed her, as if he didn't have enough doubts on his own.
Karissa couldn't hate Treet. When she slowly raised her head far enough to see him in his Trainee Greens, she even felt a touch of pride, although he had almost become that which she feared most. Any other impersonal, Green clad figure, she could have feared, but never Treet.
So, when he approached her cautiously, as though he thought she might bite, she gave him a weary smile. After all, he had food and she was starving! She couldn't remember the last time she had been so hungry.
"Treet," she greeted him.
"Yes, Herald," he replied, nervousness plain on his face.
"It hasn't been that long, you know," she told him conversationally. "Besides, this is supposed to go the other way around. You know, the way where I act all hostile and you uphold our friendship."
Treet looked blank. Was she still delirious?
Karissa sighed. "I'm not 'Herald' to you, Treet, never to you. I do have a name, you know, and I recall giving you permission to use it."
Treet offered her a shy smile and moved a little closer, taking a seat near Karissa's bed. "Yes, Karissa," he replied. "I even brought you food, you should certainly forgive me for everything. I imagine you're hungry."
Karissa didn't bother pretending to wonder what she should forgive him for, but neither did she want to bring up the subject of her Healing, it was still too raw.
She noticed a change in Treet. He had learned to banter, to some degree. She wondered if it was Lirain's influence. She nodded at him. "I think I could eat a pair of roast oxen."
Treet pushed the tray closer to Karissa. It was a simple vegetable soup and soft bread, invalid's fare. "I ought to help you sit up."
Karissa made a face. She knew she was too weak to sit up unassisted but above all else she despised being helpless. Some modicum of strength had returned to her since her awakening, but not nearly enough to do much more than move her arms.
Treet assisted her in silence, as impersonally as he could. He was just waiting for her to snap at him or throw him out of her room, dinner be damned. As soon as she was settled, however, she seemed ready to forget the entire affair.
"I can feed myself," she told him tartly, making sure to make this clear before he got any ideas about aiding the 'poor invalid Herald'. She was strong enough for that. And if her hands shook a little or the spoon slipped a few times and deposited soup in her lap or on the tray instead of in her mouth, well there was nobody to notice.
As she ate, Karissa tried to catch up a little bit with Treet. He filled her in on most of what had happened since he had arrived at the Collegium. Finally, when Karissa was almost finished, she asked him the question she hadn't really wanted to know the answer to. "How long have I been in here?"
"This is the fifth day," Treet replied. "I Healed you on the first and you slept for three, recovering from the rest of the fever. You woke a little to take potions, but you barely ate, which is why you're so hungry now. On the good side of the ledgers, however, you appear to have completely rid yourself of whatever you contracted, but you'll have to stay here until you're strong enough to leave."
Karissa was silent for a moment. "So Veria tells me," she said finally in a dry tone. "Right through Midwinter break?"
"Sera believes that would be best, and she is nominally in charge of your case at the moment," Treet said gently.
"Because of you." Karissa said. It was not a question.
Treet nodded but didn't make any move to discuss the subject further.
"Ah well," Karissa said, "it's not as though I had anyone to spend Midwinter with anyway." It could have been self-pitying, but it was simply a statement of a fact. "Will you come and visit me?"
Treet avoided her eyes. He knew he would have to go through all of his arguments again and he didn't feel quite up to it. "I'm going home."
"You're going where?" Karissa asked him, sure she had misheard.
"I'm going to see my family. They sent me a letter saying that they understood that I am different from them, but that they want to mend our bridges, so to speak. And I want to go. They're my family, still."
Karissa just looked at him for a long moment. She hadn't seen her own family since her first year as a Trainee, when they had come looking for her. After meeting with them she had sworn that she would never do so again. She couldn't bear to see the knowledge of loss in their eyes, to be reminded each time she looked at them of what they had all lost.
She remembered clearly Treet's joy at being told that he could leave his family. She knew, to some degree, what he must have endured, but he seemed to have forgotten.
"I need to have an end to this," Treet said. "I need to know how things stand. The worst they can do is throw a few insults my way and I've borne worse."
Karissa could almost understand his feeling. She and her family had had no such closure, no grand clap of thunder to clear the air. They had simply drifted apart. Karissa made quiet inquiries after them sometimes and she supposed they did the same. They were healthy, that was as much as she knew.
"Treet," she began quietly.
"I'm going!" Treet interrupted hotly. "I have to!"
"I know you do, Tretin," Karissa said, almost sadly. She didn't know what the Holderkin wanted with their lost sheep, but she knew it couldn't be good. Treet would have to learn that for himself, however. By the laws of Valdemar, she couldn't bar him from going, not even the Dean could do that.
"You do?" Treet asked. He had been preparing for a fight, but it hadn't come.
"Yes. Only remember, the Holderkin do not easily let go their death grip on what they see as theirs, no matter how hard they have to squeeze in order to fit that thing into the 'proper' mold."
Treet glanced down at the floor. He knew that Karissa was right, but what else could he do?
"I will see you when I return," he said defiantly. "I'll tell you all about it, and by then, perhaps, you will be well again."
Karissa certainly hoped so. Even more so, she hoped that Treet would be as well as she.
