Toilet Time II

A/N: Not exactly a continuation, but let's say it occurs after the first one… but it's not a continuation, since there's no plot. I write these when I'm bored. Okay, so I also get the idea while I'm using the toilet. Hey, being a guy with a full bladder gives a guy time to think.

Did anyone ever notice that there were no toilets on that damn island?


"Leon, you don't look too good…" Ashley asked with worry. "Is it the virus?"

Leon winced, holding his stomach. "No… Don't worry, it's nothing important…" he said, his eyes squinting from pain.

Leon looked around, and saw a nearby restroom. He walked over to it, still clutching his stomach.

"Wait!" he ordered Ashley, just as he reached the door. He pushed it open carefully, and walked in.

The toilet was dank. Dank like every other building he'd seen on this island. He walked down, stall after stall, thoroughly checking for anything alive… or dead… or anything in between.

"Won't let that happen again…" he grumbled, reminiscing his previous toilet incident. When he was satisfied that he was alone, he finally let his stomach get the better of him. He quickly undid his belt, and as his pants fell down he began hopping into one of the stalls, slight traces of sweat trickling down his forehead. He literally launched himself, putting his special training into… special use, and landed, butt-first, onto the toilet. Without a second thought, he let the tap loose. That's right, he had the runs. The brown river. Cadbury Falls. Diarrhea.

"That's the last time I eat a chicken egg that came out of a dead snake…" he murmured, cursing his silly idea to recover health from an old egg that he found in a snake.

Unfortunately, in his haste, he hadn't realized that the toilet seat was still down. As an oozing, hot feeling crept around his behind, Leon swore quietly in a combination of frustration and disgust. He jumped up, threw the seat up, minding the brown stains, and finally returned to his business. Nothing could possibly bother him now.

"LEON!"

Okay, maybe something could bother him.

"Ashley?" Leon called out. "What's wrong?"

"Leon! Help!" her voice called again.

"Aw, man…" Leon looked up at the direction of her calling, then looked back down at himself. He did this in rapid succession, wondering what to do.

"Leon!"

"Don't worry Ashley! I'm coming to save you!" he called, while unrolling the toilet paper, even though he was actually still going. "Urgh, this is not going to look good…"

"Leon!" she called again. This time, she finally saw Leon come out of the toilet and run towards her. Actually, she looked again and realized that he was hopping. "OH MY GOD, LEON, YOUR PANTS ARE DOWN! I CAN SEE YOUR SMALL…"

"Not now, Ashley!" he yelled, pulling out his shotgun as he… hopped towards her. Little did Ashley know, that there was a bundle of toilet paper stuck onto his butt, slowly becoming browner and browner, as Leon's face showed that he could feel the heat on his behind.

After a lot of hopping, Ashley getting picked up over and over, and a few shells later, Ashley was finally safe. Leon hurriedly hopped back into the toilet, showing his brown, tissue-covered butt to Ashley, who shivered.

"Ashley! It's safer if you stay inside with me!" he yelled to her. She took one sniff inside and ran back out.

"I think my chances for survival are better out here…" she replied, coughing.

THE END