Heh heh heh heh heh… Rurouni Kenshin does not belong to me except in my deepest, darkest fantasies… heh heh heh heh heh…

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After accompanying Himura down to the dungeons in a slow, stately walk, Soujiro and Saitou and stepped just outside the doorway to give both consultant and client some privacy while still eavesdropping on them.

"Hello, Enishi," Himura was saying, "It has been a very long time."

"I wish it could have been longer… what… ok! Ok! Sorry about that."

"That is no problem. It is good to see Tomoe again too."

"Yeah, yeah. Do you need me to join the two dudes outside so you and nii-chan can have a talk?"

"It is ok, Enishi. There is nothing we wish to hide from you. Thank you for your kind suggestion."

"Yeah… whatever."

Saitou puffed maniacally on his cigarette as he stared into the distance and Soujiro smiled maniacally as he stared into the ceiling.

"So anyway," Enishi went on then paused. Soujiro imagined him consulting his sister again.

"Anyway," Himura said smoothly, "What happened to you after you escaped from the police ship? I never heard anything from you after that."

There was another long silence then Enishi muttered, "Well… I read the diary on the ship and got totally, totally depressed. So I grabbed a boat and rowed out… what? Do I have to tell him… ok… ok… alright. I rowed out, screaming and wailing and blabbering about how cruel the world was to me and ended up in some beggar dump."

"Beggar dump?"

"Yeah… then eventually I got tired of sitting around so I left and… ran right into a whole squad of policemen."

"I see."

"Great piece of luck, huh?"

"It is good you see it that way."

"Do you know how to spell 'sarcasm', Battousai?"

"This is a wonderful time for atonement. Once you are able to smile at the world, you will regain Tomoe's smile."

"Really?" Now Enishi sounded eager. "Is that why nii-san smiled at you the last time? Nii-san refuses to smile at me… and she has learnt a new trick with her eyebrows that is… is… is…"

"Traumatising?"

"Exactly."

"It's the trick where she does this then this then this, isn't it?"

"Yes! How did you know?"

"When I was in the beggar dump, she kept doing it to me."

"Oh… so…"

"Would you like to see her smile again?"

"Yes! God, what I would give to see her smile again!"

"You wouldn't need to give much to see her smile again. You just need to be happy and atone for your sins."

"Ok. Ok. So… what do I do now?"

"I think that you should help Saitou round up your mafia group, Enishi. Cut a deal with him and join the police…"

"No!" Saitou roared suddenly, "I refuse to cut any kind of deal that includes him joining the police force!"

Himura appeared at the doorway. "But Saitou…" he began.

"No! He is fundamentally evil."

"He is my brother-in-law."

"Ex brother-in-law."

"I have to take care of him now that his sister is gone."

"She doesn't sound gone."

"If he doesn't join the police force, where will he go? What can he do? Providing information is not enough to keep him from the death penalty and you know that, Saitou."

"Then execute him! There are many marvellous ways to die…"

"Death is not an option."

"You lived through the Revolution, Battousai! You know that death is an option, especially for the evil!"

"That is another statement that I protest. Enishi is not evil!"

"What the… don't you remember all the hell he put you through?"

"That was a misunderstanding."

"Stop acting like a saint, Battousai, it doesn't become of you."

"I am not a saint, Saitou, but that doesn't mean I should agree with you all the time."

Soujiro leaned against the door frame as Enishi hopped up eagerly to watch the verbal showdown between the two long standing enemies.

"What can you do anyway, Battousai, if I refuse to allow that evil within the cell to live?"

"You still call me Battousai, Saitou, that should be enough. That name alone could sway a dozen politicians."

"You would do such a degrading thing, Battousai? I thought better of you."

"If that is what it takes to save a human life, I would not mind dragging my name through mud and dirt."

"But that human life you would save is no more than mud and dirt. Why do you always try to stop me from carrying out my philosophy."

"That would be because it is against my philosophy."

"And why should I care about your philosophy?"

"I should be the one asking you that question."

Enishi quirked his eyebrow at Soujiro. "I heard Battousai's lost almost all his skills, but his aura is still strong." He grinned a happily delirious grin. "Nii-san is smiling… not at me, but I'm in the line of fire…"

Soujiro gave him a placating smile. "I'm sure, Yukishiro-san," he said cheerfully then changed the subject rapidly, "I never expected the final showdown between the Wolf of Mibu and Hitokiri Battousai to be an argument about the merits and demerits of the death penalty." Both of them shared a mildly friendly chuckle at that thought.

"My philosophy is superior!" Saitou was growling, his hand tightening around the hilt of his sword as his voice level raised slightly but still under control, "Aku Soku Zan is the one thing that kept me alive all this time. It is the truth!"

"That is not true, Saitou. Death should be avoided at all costs. With life, at least one can still make atonements for his or her sins."

"With death, all sins are forgiven, for death is one of the best ways to atone for a sin."

"Why do you insist on death when it will bring nothing more than sorrow and pain, Saitou? Has Enishi not been punished enough?"

"Battousai, I brought you here to convince that Evil to cooperate and spill his guts, not protest against me punishing him!"

"Enishi deserves a second chance."

Enishi nudged Soujiro with his shoulder, it being the only part of his body he could move with ease. "Who do you think is going to win?"

"Well… it is hard to say…" Soujiro smiled into the distance, "Himura-san sounds like the better negotiator…"

"Because slit-eyes always negotiates with the business end of his sword, I would say."

"I suppose… but Saitou-san believes fully in his philosophy so it is possible he wouldn't relent. And, of course, Saitou-san has proven himself to be remarkably resourceful, and may be able to turn the tables on Himura-san somehow."

"I've never heard slit-eyes argue so much before," Enishi observed, "Usually he just shrugs and walks away."

"Perhaps it is because this is the only way he can spar with Himura-san now."

"Probably. Doesn't want to lose to Battousai either way, I bet."

"Shut up!" Saitou growled, obviously inflamed now.

"Oh don't be angry," Soujiro protested cheerfully, rubbing the back of his head, "It makes your wrinkles more obvious," then gave his best blank smile, which seemed to throw Saitou off again. The policeman thus reacted by turning back to Himura to continue their previous argument.

"How did you do that?" Enishi whispered in a tone filled with awe.

"Smile, it confuses them." Soujiro held out a victory sign.

"Cool…" Both of them shared another friendly chuckle then stopped because it was becoming too awkward.

"Fine!" Saitou snapped suddenly, causing the both of them to jump. "Go look for the Minister then! If you can convince him then I will have nothing more to say."

"Excellent," Himura replied, smiling pleasantly, "Thank you very much for being so understanding, Saitou."

Saitou grunted and lit up another cigarette, obviously trying to regain his cool. "You are an idiot, Battousai," he finally muttered in his usual tone of voice, "One day you will end up dead because of your stupid philosophy." Then he turned and stormed away, gesturing for Soujiro to follow him.

Gulping, Soujiro did as ordered, and wondered if this was the one order that was going to get him killed.

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"That idiot," Saitou was muttering as he flopped down on the couch in his office, "fool, moron, jerk. Hasn't he ever considered the fact that the reason I refused to fight him years ago was because of this ridiculous philosophy of his?"

Soujiro sat at the furthest chair from the couch and smiled as blankly as possible, deciding for once that silence was not just golden – it was the best idea anyone had ever come up with since the dawn of humanity.

"Of all the bumbling idiots in the world," Saitou went on, his voice still quiet but brimming with rage, "It would have been impossible… impossible for me to have ever imagined that the Battousai… the Battousai could ever, ever come up with such a ridiculous, stupid, moronic, rooster-head philosophy. Okita would have turned in his grave a million times."

Soujiro twiddled his fingers as he felt his smile widened with tension.

"The world needs the hitokiri, even now in this time of seeming peace. It is essential. Evil never vanishes, and when one runs into evil, it is one's duty to destroy it immediately."

Now, Soujiro was forced to look out of the window, twiddle his fingers and smile so hard his cheek muscles hurt. In fact, he was so busy staring out of the window he didn't notice Saitou was glaring at him until said policeman blew a lungful of smoke into his face.

"What are you doing here?" Saitou snapped, in a tone that suggested it wasn't the first time he was asking this question.

"What? Well… you asked me to follow you just now…"

"I did?" Saitou gave him a suspicious look.

"Yeah…"

Grunting, Saitou returned to his desk and leaned back calmly, acting like nothing had happened. "We will deal with the syndicate based on how our… deal with Yukishiro Enishi and his moronic consultant turns out," he said, his voice blank and calm.

"Ok," Soujiro said cautiously, "If Yukishiro-san decides to cooperate, how will our course of action go?"

Saitou shot him a look. "It depends on whether his cooperation comes with the terms of working under me as a policeman or not."

"If it does?"

"I'll think about it."

"If it doesn't?"

"I'll still think about it."

"Ok. Then what if he doesn't cooperate?"

"Then we execute him."

"Ah…"

Saitou shot him a look. "I do not have the habit of letting people know my plans beforehand. Go entertain yourself. I have work to do."

"Don't I have work to do as well?" Soujiro tapped his toe nervously against the floor.

"Not until I tell you so."

"Ok…" Soujiro hesitated outside the door. "Does this mean I have to go back to my room."

"That or stay in headquarters and make yourself useful."

"Ok."

Soujiro closed the door behind him and thought about windows, lumpy futons, sixty-three weapons and police work then headed towards the inner office to locate someone who could give him something to do.

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"Here is your tea, Secretary-san!" Soujiro chirped, hurrying up to the secretary's desk with a teapot and a cup of tea.

"Thank you, Seta-san," the secretary said politely as he went through the tedious work of making reports based on notes written by Saitou.

"You're welcomed!" Soujiro twittered happily. "Is there anything else I can do?"

Before the secretary could react, there was a loud noise, much like the sound of a brick making another hole in Saitou's office door. "Secretary!" came said person's voice.

With a face as calm and blank as a very calm and blank object, the secretary made his way to the office doorway. "Yes sir?" he inquired politely.

There was a mumble of voices as Saitou conversed with his secretary. Then the secretary emerged, looking amazingly calm and collected.

"What is it, Secretary-san?"

"He wants me to draw up both the death warrant and recruitment form for a Yukishiro Enishi," the secretary said, "I expect he wants to recruit this young man then kill him."

"Or he wants to save time and kill him then recruit him."

A very faint smile broke the blank surface, but vanished almost immediately. "Possibly. I am convinced that he is convinced that Yukishiro Enishi is the spawn of evil."

"I see," Soujiro remarked dryly then hesitated. "What about me? How come he isn't trying that hard to kill me?"

"Actually, the moment we got news that you have been arrested, he told me to go hire an executioner and prepare the noose as well as the axe."

"Oh…" Soujiro thought about that as he poured a cup of tea for himself. "And I thought that it was because I am not evil…"

"Oh, I have discovered that Goro-san is quite stringent in his definition of evil."

"Really? What is it?"

"Anyone who once worked for anyone who was against him who is still a potential hazard to society."

"Ah… but that would be… almost everyone."

"Exactly. It explains the state of his face."

"The wrinkles?"

"The three different sets of expressions he has."

"Oh… the neutral, the smirk and the…"

"Pissed. Precisely those three."

"I see…" Soujiro leaned against the secretary's table and tapped his toes thoughtfully. "He sounds like a really twisted soul."

"Does he?" a deep voice growled from behind.

Soujiro froze, suddenly feeling like a foe trapped in the fierce glare of a wolf. Terror coursed through his veins, and his heart beat sped up dramatically. This was one of those events in life where one had to make a split-second decision that would decide whether one lives or dies. In such a situation, there was only one thing Soujiro could have done.

He turned around with his best blank smile and went into full Shukuchi mode – verbally.

"Why, Saitou-san! What a pleasant day it is! Have you finished your work? What are we going to do now? Is it true that you are married? How many kids do you have? Is it true that you once killed fifty Imperialists all by yourself without any help from anyone other than a kitten you were trying to save from drowning? Is it true that the kitten actually scratched out the eyes of the imperialists? Is it true that your hair isn't real, but a really badly made wig? Is it true that you once stabbed out a man's eye with your feelers? Is it true that you are afraid of your father-in-law? Is it true that you chose a high-speed piercing technique such as Gatotsu which reduces your peripheral vision because you have really tiny eyes? Is it true that your eyes are not yours but eyes you plucked off one of your greatest enemies of all times? Is it true that you once eloped with a member of royalty once? Is it true that you aren't human but the spawn of an ice-man and a koorine? Is it true that your blood is as cold as ice?"

Saitou stood frozen, his cigarette burning between his fingers, his mouth opened slightly, the rather abusive words he had been about to sprout forgotten as he tried to process what was being asked. Slowly, he tried to sort out the individual words and sentences.

Finally, he came up with the best answer he could. "Huh?"

Soujiro smile widened inhumanely. "What are we going to do now, Saitou-san?"

Saitou put the cigarette automatically into his mouth, eyes staring into the distance, still trying to sort out Soujiro's speech. "We're going to ask Battousai for his client's answer now. They have had more than enough time to reach the Minister and ask for permission."

"Oh ok. So are we heading for the dungeons?"

Saitou grunted again, his brows still furrowed in thought as he wandered in the direction Soujiro had gestured.

Behind his back, Soujiro flashed a tiny victory sign at the secretary. His technique of escaping abuse by figures of authority had never changed ever since he was a child.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.