CHAPTER FIVE
Tokyo-3
The Arrival of the Fourth Angel
It was big, it was strangely colored, and it was easily the freakiest thing I've ever seen in my life.
It gave me a look, and I didn't like it.
It grunted.
It smelled like crap.
They told me it was called "Cruts."
I instantly didn't like it.
And I was stuck with him. After leaving the train station, I drank as much as I possibly could and made my way to the apartment they had told me to go to. As soon as I walked in, I met Cruts, and he didn't really seem to notice I was there.
Cruts looked around the apartment, and then walked straight through a wall of lemon gelatin.
So my house in Chicago hadn't been the cleanest place in the world always, but this was the foulest thing I'd ever seen. People were living in here. Not like St. Pierre and his followers, but, you know, people who had come in unbeknownst to the others and taken up residence in the perm-a-crud.
The house shook. I looked over towards what had presumably been the second floor before the monsoon of St. Pierre had arrived. He and His (I'll never get used to that) assistants were here, as has been noted, to "assist" the development of the Evangelions.
St. Pierre, though, being God and all, probably had a different plan.
Cruts moved towards me.
I was starting to be afraid I was going to have to live here.
Something scurried by.
Night was falling outside, and the Cruts thing was looking at me. Something, the same thing, flew by quickly.
Cruts smiled his broad, inhuman smile. Suddenly, the door opened, and in walked Chris and Colin. I didn't know who they were yet, but they introduced themselves to me and quickly told me the story thus far. They also picked up Cruts and removed him from my presence, telling him never to approach me again.
"Sorry about him," Colin said, "he can be like that sometimes."
"And how frequent is 'sometimes'?"
"As long as he's awake."
I wiped some mushrooms off an old sofa and sat on it.
"Don't worry about me," I said, "I know how to defend myself."
Colin smiled warily. He adjusted his glasses in a manner similar to how St. Pierre had done so earlier. Then he turned away and walked down a cave-like hallway. I briefly saw a very distant, dull light shine, then darkness again.
Chris moved silently to the kitchen. Well, he tried to be silent, but the moment he opened the fridge, there was a series of small squeaks and the sound of scurrying feet.
"What's that?" I called out. But before he could reply, my question was answered as a couple hundred small, red toads with a dozen too many legs literally flew out of the kitchen, past my head, and out an open window, where they all turned into a giant sausage and floated lazily away.
"Sorry about that," Chris said, "You may have noticed some strange things about this apartment, and I guess I should explain them."
"Oh, you don't know what my house was like. I had a skull that talked."
He waved towards where Cruts was sleeping.
"Alright," I conceded, "you win."
"Damn right. So here's the deal – St. Pierre has some kind of power, I'm not entirely sure what it is. But he's sort of bestowed it upon us somehow and when we're all together in a small room for a long period of time it makes everything all funky."
"A sort of power?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"And you don't
know what it is?"
"Not at all."
So. What was this? God's not telling his loyal servants what the heck is up? I thought back to our meeting. Only one person knows my true self. Well, that's not exactly what he said, but it sounds so much cooler.
"Alright," I said, "so throwing me into it might be a problem."
"Oh, no, not at all." Chris said brightly.
"You…you are aware that I'm a, you know, practitioner, right?"
"Of course! But, you know, St. Pierre and stuff just kind of, well…"
"Cancels me out?" I offered doubtfully.
"More like…ends you. Your magic, at least."
I stared at him, then picked up a stick that happened to be lying conveniently nearby. I focused all of my energy and held the stick to the wall.
"Forzare!" I shouted, and I released all of my energy.
And absolutely nothing happened.
Shinji Ikari woke up and stumbled out of his room. He went to the kitchen and started breakfast, then returned to his room and got dressed.
School, he thought. I wonder what it'll be like.
He finished tying his shoes and walked back into the little kitchen.
"Hmm…" he thought aloud, "something to drink would be nice."
But it was easier said than done.
"Okay," said Shinji, looking inside the refrigerator, "since I don't want any beer I guess I'll be thirsty. How can one person drink this much?" The fridge was filled with case upon case and stacks and stacks of cans of beer.
He closed the door in disgust and slumped back in his seat. Which was when he noticed the second refrigerator.
"Ah," he said wisely, "that must be where she keeps everything else."
He stood up and walked over to it, and, as he approached it, a penguin came out.
Shinji did what every good person would do and screamed.
"Misato!" he shouted, "Miss! Miss Misato! Quick!"
There was a loud thud. Shinji, not daring to take his eye of the flightless bird, called back, "Misato! Is that you?"
Misato groaned.
"That's just Pen-Pen," she slurred, "he's a perverted air spirit of…er…he's a warm water penguin."
Shinji just stared.
"Miss Misato," he said, backing slowly away from the penguin.
"Watch out," she replied, "I'm here on the floor."
Shinji spun around and saw Misato lying on the floor next to the door to her bedroom.
"I think I'll go to school now."
Misato groaned.
Shinji ran out the door and down the stairs of the apartment complex, bursting out the door and into the warm sun. He walked the few blocks to his school and precariously walked inside.
He made his way to his classroom quietly, hoping not to attract any attention. But he could hear whispers.
"We've got a new teacher you know."
"I know – so strange, isn't it? I wonder what happened to the old one."
"Did you hear about the attack last night?"
"Yeah – did you see any of it?"
"Of course not, stupid! There aren't any windows in those damned shelters, you know that."
A loud voice echoed.
"Alright, you insolent idiots, let's get to class before I smack you all."
Thud, step. Thud, step. Thud, step.
The class filed in and sat down. Shinji found himself in the back next to what he figured had to be the nerdiest kid in the school.
Thud, step. Thud, step. Thud, step.
In walked their new teacher. His left leg was slightly thinner than his right, and he walked with a cane. His face had sharp features, and his voice was more sour than a lemon.
"My name, for those who actually care, is Gregory House. I am a doctor, and therefore incredibly smarter than all of you. When I feel like it, I may teach you."
"Sir?"
It was the nerdy kid next to Shinji. House looked over at him.
"Yes?"
"Where are you from?"
House stared at him. "I come from a happy place where everything is beautiful and perfect."
"Really?" asked the nerdy kid.
"No, you idiot. If you knew anything about America you'd know there was nothing beautiful nor perfect about New Jersey. Name, kid?"
"Aida, sir. Kensuke Aida."
"And are you done?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. That's the first correct answer of the year." He pulled out medicine bottle and threw a pill into the air. It landed in his mouth.
"Sir,"
He rounded on Kensuke.
"Now what?" he asked.
"What are those?"
"Not yours."
I woke up.
I wasn't aware of going to sleep, but here I was, waking up. Life can do that to you sometimes.
I made my way towards the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Almost instantly the light inside went out and it shut off. Magic has that effect on things. That's why my old house only had an icebox.
If St. Pierre was really God, though, it seems like he'd have a crapload of magic. Of course, man had made it to the moon, so I figure if He was God, He could probably keep a damn light on.
I pulled out a Coke and drank it. Even in these post-impact days, it's good to know there are still Cokes. I would have killed myself if there was no Coke left.
My first item of business was to find Murphy. She had kind of volunteered to live with our newest find – a kid wizard by the name of Ikari. Shinji Ikari. I figured I'd try and find her apartment.
I walked to the front door and opened it. There stood St. Pierre.
"Whoa!" I said, "Oh, it's You."
"Yes. It is."
"How long have You been standing out there?"
"I suppose," said St. Pierre, "that's a matter of opinion. I am omnipresent, you know, so I've really been standing here a very, very long time. But in this physical shape, you mean?"
"Er…yeah."
"I was just about to knock."
"Oh." That was kind of a letdown.
"Dresden," He said, adjusting His glasses, "I need you to do something for me."
"Shoot."
"Eventually," He said, "but first, please track down Miss Katsuragi. Commander Ikari informed me that she is late for duty."
"Okay…"
"Also, there is a new teacher at Shinji's school. I believe he may have been sent there by the Commander to supervise the three children."
Now I was confused.
"Three children? I thought there were only two." I thought back to my conversation with Chris and Colin yesterday. Shinji Ikari, Rei Ayanami…had there been another?
"The third has not yet arrived, Dresden. I will be dispatching you to assist in her arrival. Do not make it known to anyone that you are here yet, and ensure that Miss Katsuragi hides her knowledge until your arrival on the boat."
He turned to go. "Wait," I said. He stopped and looked at me. "Murphy doesn't know I'm here yet?"
He smiled. "Miss Katsuragi is not aware, no."
He handed me a small card. On it was my picture and my assumed Japanese name. Then, from His coat He drew a small book. I look at it and read the title: "Welcome to NERV."
"What is this? The employee handbook? What kind of secret organization is this? When do we see the introductory movie," I said, looking up.
But He wasn't there anymore.
"Alright, so tell me what's wrong with the sentence."
Shinji eyed it. His English wasn't too good, though, and he didn't really have a clue what it said. The whole class was silent for a few minutes.
"The conjugation of the second verb is wrong," said a guy in the front row with a thick Australian accent.
"Ah! What makes you say that?"
"Well, I'm not really sure. I just took a guess."
"Good. I mean, that's completely and totally wrong, but at least you gave a damn enough to try."
There was another silence.
"Does no one see the problem?"
"No, sir." Kensuke said.
House closed his eyes and turned to the board, circling the subject. Of course, thought Shinji, "I" can't be the subject in third person. Even I know that.
"'I' can't be the subject in third person except in dialogue. You need to use a pronoun besides I, a proper noun, or a common noun of some kind."
The bell rang loudly as House popped a few pills.
"Class dismissed."
Everyone got up and grabbed their stuff. Over the scuffle, House called, "Ikari! My desk please!"
Shinji gathered his stuff quickly and walked to the desk. The whispers followed him.
"That's him! He's the one who saved us!"
"He piloted that monstrous machine!"
"He's so young! I don't believe it!"
Shinji reached House's desk as the last person left.
"Yes, Doctor House?" he said cautiously.
House was looking down at some papers. Without looking up, he said, "You are to report to NERV immediately after school."
"Is that all, sir?"
"Yeah. And take the back stairs."
"Why?"
"You know that tough-looking ass who sits next to Aida?"
"Yeah.
"You beat down his little sister last night and I don't think he's too happy about it."
"But – I barely did anything!"
"Does it surprise you that there are people dumb enough to get hit by a stationary object the size of a skyscraper?"
Shinji thought for a minute.
"Not really, sir, no."
