A/N: Sorry for the delay on this, one of us has been really sick and so we havent been able to work a lot on it. There is only one chapter left and we promise not a huge delay this time.
"I mean really Pavarti, why wouldn't someone have told me sooner? I am his girlfriend after all."
I am not in the mood for this today! Hermione thought as she awoke to hearing a whining Lavender Brown talking with their other roommate Pavarti. Moaning she rolled over in her bed; it had been late when she returned from the hospital wing and even longer before she feel asleep. Her mind kept going over the events of the day and it had strayed to what might have happened. When she finally did fall asleep her dreams ranged from Ron telling her that he loved her and ditching Lavender in front of the entire school to Ron disappearing before her eyes.
"I mean really why did Hermione get told and not me? I mean he doesn't even like her anymore. He tells me he loves me all the time."
If he loves you so much why did he call out MY name last night you stupid little twit? She wanted to scream out but instead she rolled over in bed again and clinging to her pillow she tried to block out Lavender's voice.
Try as she could Hermione found that it was not possible to block out her roommates; the harder she tired the shriller Lavender's voice became. "When I found out that my Ron was stuck in a hospital bed all day long without me, I just knew I had to get right down to see him."
"How is he then?" Pavarti asked, sounding as if she was bored.
"Oh, he wasn't awake yet." What? Had Hermione heard correctly, Ron wasn't up yet? This was bad this was very bad. Maybe something had happened during the night; why had no one told her. He should be up now the potion should have kicked in and Madame Pomfrey had assured her he would be awake first thing this morning. She had to find Ginny, Ginny would know.
Drawing open the curtains she threw her legs off the bed and felt the cold floor hit her feet. Lavender and Pavarti seemed to have stopped mid-conversation and were now staring at her. She had to say something. Honestly this shouldn't be that hard, she had lived with these girls for six years now. Looking out the window and seeing the rain hitting the panes she felt Lavender's eyes boring into her from across the room. I have to get out of here, she thought, I need to know if Ron is okay.
"Oh, good morning Hermione," Lavender said with a sneer on her face. Oh really, please tell me that she is not going to do this now. "And where were you off to so late last night?"
"Oh I was with Harry." Well technically I was.
"Funny, I was told you were sitting in the hospital wing next to MY boyfriend last night? And where was I during all this? I was here waiting to give him his birthday present, not by his side where I should have been."
Oh damn, why did she have to be like this? "Really Lav," Pavarti said "that wasn't her fault."
Hermione quickly decided that the truth was the best in this situation, "I was with Ginny when Colin came to tell her about Ron, Lavender. She needed me with her she was a wreck. We just left and I chased after her. There wasn't time to go and tell everyone." Well that's kind of true.
"That really is interesting Hermione. Because Neville told me that you ran into him while running through the hall like a mad woman yesterday and Ginny was the one that took the time to apologize for you." I'll show you a mad woman you little tart, if you don't let me get dressed so I can get out of here!
Hermione was just getting ready to come back with additional explanation when there was a knock on their door quickly followed by Ginny entering. "Hermione there you are. I thought you would be dressed by now." she said. Looking to Lavender then back to Hermione she said, "I thought we were going to go to the um...library this morning. You know to study for my O.W.L.S."
"Oh Ginny," Pavarti exclaimed, "You have already started studying for your exams?"
"Yes, I had some questions on potions and Hermione was going to help me with that."
"Well, I am sure you will do just fine. Come on Lav, it sounds like these two have a lot to do."
"Why can't they study downstairs?" Lavender asked her eyes never leaving Hermione.
"Come on." Pavarti said almost pulling the girl out of the room. Hermione noticed that Pavarti leaned back in to close the door and Hermione mouthed a thank you to her and then turned to Ginny.
"What happened? Is he alright?" Hermione said starting to throw clothes out of her drawer onto the floor trying to find a shirt and jumper, "Why didn't you tell me he wasn't awake yet? What's wrong?"
"Hermione, slow down." her friend said with a grin. "Ron is fine. I just came from visiting him. He is awake and joking around, really everything is fine."
Hermione let out a slow controlled breath and nodded her head, trying to regain some of her composure. "Good, I am glad."
"Are you going to go and see him?" Ginny asked looking at her shoes as if this wasn't a question she was comfortable with.
Was she? She had planned on seeing him, last night she had planned on rushing to his bedside first thing this morning and telling him how she felt and all the conclusions she had come to about them last night. But now, now she just wasn't sure. Could she really tell him everything? She didn't know if she was ready to tell him or if she ever would be.
"I don't know." She answered truthfully, turning from Ginny and taking a jumper out of the dresser.
"Hermione, don't you think this has gone on long enough? I know what Ron did was horrible but really don't you miss him?"
"More than you know." She thought and then gasped, realizing she had uttered the words aloud.
"Hermione," Ginny said coming towards her and taking the jumper out of her hands and then leading her to the bed. "You can't keep shutting him out. He is miserable without you. Surely you have seen it. He misses you."
"Misses me? He has Lavender now in case you didn't notice." Hermione said sarcastically.
"Yes, Hermione." Ginny said in a patronizing tone, sounding remarkably like Mrs. Weasley. "I did notice, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't miss you and wants to see you."
"Has he said something to you Ginny?" Hermione retorted "Did he tell you that he wanted to see me?"
Ginny looked away from Hermione and shook her head "Well no, but..."
"But nothing Ginny. He doesn't want to see me."
Hermione rose from the bed and begin to tidy up the clothes that were now scattered on the floor. Focus on something else, she kept telling herself. If she had a task she wouldn't think about how Ron didn't want or need her.
"I think Hermione the question should be do you want to see him."
Hermione froze, she did. She wanted to see him more than anything right now but she was worried. They hadn't talked since that day in November and then she didn't know that she was in love with him. What would she say? Did she tell him? What would he do if she did? These were questions she did not want answers to, because in her mind she already knew how he would respond.
"Hermione, do you want to see my brother?" Ginny questioned and her tone required a response. Closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath Hermione nodded.
"Then what's the problem?" Ginny asked exasperated.
Hermione shook her head. He didn't want her. That was the problem. She was in love with Ron and he wanted nothing to do with her.
"Come on you can tell me." Ginny pressed.
"He doesn't want me." She chocked out.
Ginny sat stunned on the bed for a moment then she reached out taking Hermione's hand, "If he doesn't want you, then why did he say your name?"
Hermione was shocked. So she hadn't imagined it. "You heard it too?" she asked dazed as Ginny seemed to lead her back to the bed.
"Hermione, I think everyone in the room heard it."
"Ginny what do I do?"
"You march right down to that hospital wing right now and tell my prat of a brother that you love him."
If Hermione was shocked before that was nothing compared to how she felt now. She did not just say that. I am imagining things. But the look on Ginny's face told her other wise. Hermione knew she couldn't deny it. Not anymore so resignedly she picked up a pillow from the bed and began to play with the case. "How did you know." She asked timidly.
"I've known for a while." She answered
"Gin, how is that possible? I just realized it yesterday. You couldn't have known before then."
"Oh Hermione," Ginny laughed, "trust me. I've known for a while. I am just glad that you realized it. Now maybe we can end this entire charade and Ron will drop the twit."
"Ginny, that's not nice." Hermione said throwing the pillow at Ginny.
"Oh come on Hermione, I am sure you think worse things about her."
"I may think them; Ginny," Hermione said conspiratorially "but I don't say them aloud."
Ginny flashed her knowing smile and handed Hermione her jumper. "Here put this on and then go down. He is waiting for you."
Hermione quickly put the jumper on and stood up. Standing in front of her mirror she pulled her hair back and took a deep breath. Ginny came and stood beside her putting her arm around her in a comforting hug. "You look fine. Now go."
Hermione smiled at Ginny in the mirror and with a new found confidence she left the room.
Hermione stood outside the large wooden doors of the hospital wing. Her hand holding firm to the handle, ok Hermione, you can do this. With a determination she opened the door and walked in, quickly stopped by Madame Pomfrey.
"Ah, Miss Granger, I was wondering when you would come by." she said in her typical whisper.
"Hello, Madame Pomfrey. I was wondering if I could visit with Ronald." Hermione said in a tone mimicking the nurses.
"Of course I'll just go and let him know you are here. I just finished examining him not too long ago and was getting ready to take the curtains down but I'll leave them up so you can have your privacy."
Hermione nodded her thanks and then watched as Madame Pomfrey walked away and went behind the curtains at the far end of the room. Hermione gathered herself once more; standing there she kept reminding herself to breath in and out her eyes were closed but opened the moment she heard Madame Pomfrey say, "Mr. Weasley, your young lady is here to see you."
She waited to hear what Ron would say but nothing came. It seemed like hours but she knew it was only a few minutes before Madame Pomfrey returned and told her that Ron had fallen asleep, but Hermione could go and sit with him, if she wanted to.
The walk down to Ron's bed was the longest she had ever taken. It was almost like a force was pulling her back to the door so she could leave.
Gathering her courage she looked around the curtains, there he is. He was lying with his back to her and his legs slightly curled. She watched his back rise and fall with each slow steady breath he took, it seemed to calm her as she did so. Walking around to the other side of the bed she looked at his face. It was calm and relaxed, his eyes closed, and his hair fell gently over them. In so many ways he looked like the eleven year old boy from that day so long ago when he became her hero. But he's not a little boy anymore, he's a man now.
Pulling the chair that was beside the bed closer she sat down. "Hi, Ron" she said her voice soft and small while she brushed the hair away from his eyes. She drew her hand quickly away when she saw him twitch a bit at her touch.
"How are you doing? Well obviously you doing as good as you could be, having been poisoned on your birthday." Her hands were now in her lap, her fingers interlaced. Her eyes were trained on his face.
"I was so scared yesterday, waiting outside here wondering if you were...well wondering how you were doing. Would you believe I stared at the door for hours and didn't say a word? I didn't even have a book with me. What a site you missed, Hermione Granger speechless and bookless." she chuckled a bit at this.
"But sitting out there, staring at the door, wondering what was going on in here made me see a few things Ron." Taking a deep breath she continued. "One thing I realized was how much I need you in my life. You mean so much to me; your friendship is something that has got me through so many days and nights. To be honest with you Ron I've been miserable with out you. Life has become only studying and eating and sleeping. I know you would say that's all I do anyway, but when you were there you made sure I took breaks. You made sure I stopped to laugh." He moved a bit in his sleep causing her too pause a bit.
"The distance I have put between us this year has broken my heart. You see, Ron, when you got with Lavender it broke my heart. I thought, well I guess it doesn't matter what I thought, but it really hurt, Ron. I thought nothing could hurt more but then not being around you was awful. And that is my fault. All of this is my fault. If I weren't so proud I would have been there with you when you went to eat that chocolate, I would have stopped you. Then you would never have drunk that wine and would not have almost . . . almost died." She braced herself not wanting to cry anymore. Calm down, he's fine. Everything is fine now.
Reaching down to take hold of his hand, she started stroking his knuckles and said, "I don't know if you will ever be able to forgive me Ron, for all the mess I've caused. I hope one day you can and we can be friends again. This is silly, you can't even hear me. Maybe it is easier this way, you probably wouldn't want to see me anyway."
It was only a moment after she said these last words that she felt him squeeze her hand.
