AN: We are so sorry this has taken so long to finish, there are a lot of things that I doubt you all care about but here it is the last chapter of M&R. We have more outtakes planned for this little universe so keep your eyes open. Thanks for reading.
She was stunned. Had he really just squeezed her hand? Hermione wasn't sure what she should do now. Did she leave, did she stay. Was he awake or had he just reacted to what was going on around him. Not knowing for sure what action to take tentatively she asked, "Ron."
There was no response and his breath seemed to deepen. He doesn't seem to be awake. He can't be awake; he wouldn't have let me ramble on if he was awake. These thoughts flooded Hermione's mind as she sat stunned her hand still in Ron's grasp. Deciding to herself that he was asleep, she began to pull her hand away only to have Ron hold on tighter.
"Don't go." came Ron's weak voice as he held tighter still to her hand.
Embarrassment flooded Hermione's body as she realized Ron had heard some, if not all of what she said. Desperately she tried to pull her hand away only to have Ron hold on tighter and open his eyes. Looking at her he repeated, "Don't go."
"Let go of me Ron." She said struggling with him. She was amazed at the strength that he seemed to have. Logically she knew 24 hours in bed should have rendered him slightly weaker and given her the advantage over him; but the harder she struggled the more forceful his grip became. "I mean it Ron, let me go."
His eyes seemed to soften and she knew she had won. He lighten his grip but not enough for her to slip out of his grasp and said "Only if you promise not to leave."
She was torn. He had listened to her pour out her soul and her feelings about him and hadn't said a word, and no indication that he had been awake. She was angry, no livid with him. But at the same time he looked desperate to have her stay, it was as if she left him there would be no way to recover their friendship.
A sharp, raspy cough brought her out of her musings. Her eyes shot up to meet his again and she knew the concern she had for him was written on her face. She squeezed Ron's hand and after the coughing had subsided she questioned, "Ron are you alright?"
His answer came in another violent coughing attack. The fear she thought had been back at the door came creeping back into her as she watched Ron cough, "Madam Pomfrey?" there was no answer. Hermione looked frantically around for some water or medicine only to find nothing. Ron's coughing seemed to intensify and Hermione's anxiety for him increased as well. Bolting from her place at Ron's side she began calling for the nurse again.
"Miss Granger. This is a hospital ward not a Quidditch pitch.
"Madame Pomfrey," she said trying to compose herself, "please come look on Ron."
The matron came around the curtain and immediately taking in the situation went to work. After shoving a tablespoon full of a dark liquid down his throat, Ron's coughing subsided, but he looked weak.
"Miss Granger, if you will kindly step outside for a moment so I can check over Mr. Weasley." Madam Pomfrey asked while busying herself preparing more potions for Ron.
Hermione nodded and stood to leave; but felt Ron's grasp tighten again on her hand.
"Promise me you won't leave." he was sitting up a bit now and his voice was raspy, but his eyes seemed to be pleading with her not to leave him now.
"I promise." she whispered as she slipped out of his sight behind the curtain.
Once she was out of his sight though, she was amazed at how different she felt. With Ron's gaze on her she would have promised him the world but now that she was removed from the situation she felt her mortification at being caught. Caught pouring her heart out to him, letting him know how sorry she was, letting him know how much he had hurt her this year.
I can't stay, she thought feeling the blush rise in her cheeks. I'll come back. Yes. I will come back later this afternoon with Harry and Ginny. I am sure Ron will understand. I really just can't be here right now. Gathering her bag, that had fallen to her feet; she started to make her way towards the door.
She had only taken a few steps when she heard Ron start into another round of coughing. She froze wanting to make sure he was alright before she left. Yes she had seen him and talked to him now but part of her still didn't believe everything was going to be okay. His coughing finally subsided and Hermione heard Madam Pomfrey start in on Ron. "Now, Mr. Weasley what is it?"
"It's really nothing. I just had a bit of a pain when I was coughing."
Hermione wished she had been able to see how Madam Pomfrey had responded to that. There seemed to be a long pause and then Madam Pomfrey continued, "Well at any rate you still need to take your next round of potions. That was a nasty poison you swallowed yesterday. Now, open up."
Hermione had to smile at this as she took a few more steps away from where Ron was. Serves him right, she thought. I mean how can he think I would stay? I just poured my heart out to. . . her thoughts were suddenly interrupted when she heard Ron mention her name.
"Madam Pomfrey, why didn't you tell me it was Hermione coming to see me? I would have kept my eyes open then."
Would have kept your eyes open, would you? Of all the low down, dirty tricks. Lavender had said he was asleep when she had visited earlier, Hermione remembered, had he done the same thing to her? Prat. Hermione thought but at the same time she was fighting the grin that was slowly spreading across her face. He had wanted to see her, if he had known it was her he would have been awake. Hermione edged closer to the curtains trying to catch the rest of the conversation.
"Well I thought telling you your young lady was here would be enough. Now open up, next one."
His young lady? What did Madam Pomfrey mean by that? Hermione had never been Ron's but did it appear that way to other people? His family had been so kind yesterday, they all seemed to act as if she was the girlfriend and not Lavender. And Harry, Harry had treated her like, well like Ron treated Ginny.
Ron's voice seemed to jolt her out of her thoughts. She could tell he was starting to protest before his voice was muffled, probably trying to talk around the spoon. "Buh, Mamam Pomfry. . ." Hermione couldn't make out the rest and she desperately wanted to know the rest.
"I have to say I was a bit ashamed of you when Miss Brown was here. Pretending to be asleep. I can't say that it is the first time I have seen it though. I must say, Mr. Weasley, the drool on the pillow was a new one and quite effective."
Hermione stepped closer to the curtain, her interest peaked now. Had Lavender known he was faking? Hermione felt an unbidden swell of pity for her roommate. No matter what Lavender had done, or hadn't done she didn't deserve this.
"Mr. Weasley, there is no reason to act like that." The nurse continued. "You need these potions. We got most of the poison out of your system but you still are quite sick. Now open up, only one more after this one."
"I wanna sthee Erminee."
Hermione tried to stifle her giggle but was unsuccessful. He wanted to see her. Ron, who she hadn't talked to in months wanted to see her. Not Lavender, her- Hermione Granger.
"Oh she is still here. I can assure you of that. That young lady is quite fond of you. She's not going anywhere anytime soon. Did you know she sat outside the doors for hours yesterday waiting to get in here? She's not going to leave just because you needed a few potions and faked being asleep."
Hermione felt the heat rise to her face. She knew she was blushing. It was one thing for her to reveal her feelings to him, but to hear Madam Pomfrey say it was another matter entirely. Hermione was embarrassed that everyone seemed to see her feelings towards Ron before she did. Is that why Lavender clung so tightly to him? Trying to convince herself that their relationship could work.
Hermione made a decision. She had let Ron go. She was the one that hadn't stayed to fight for him. Well that ended now. She set her bag back on the floor, she wasn't going anywhere now.
"Ok, Mr. Weasley I saved the best for last. Now open wide."
"Oh, Madam Pomfrey not that. . ."
"Ah, very good. Next, time Mr. Weasley I'll be sure to tell you its Miss Granger instead of Miss Brown. I'll send your young lady back in now. And you might want to chase that down with a bit of water."
Hermione straighten herself and tried to look like she had been standing there the whole time yet hadn't heard a snippet of the conversation that had just finished. When Madam Pomfrey came around the curtain she nodded her head letting Hermione know it was ok to go back in and she slowly she eased herself around the curtains and stood silently at the end of his bed. At first sight of him she had to choke back the laughter welling up inside of her.
"Ron, really you look like you just smelled something foul."
"You didn't have to swallow that potion, did you?" Ron came back and then added a bit shocked, "You stayed."
"Well I did promise I would didn't I?" Hermione said as she moved back to the chair she had occupied before.
"You promised, but that doesn't mean I thought you would." Ron said after taking a big gulp of water, and setting his glass on the bedside table amongst the many bottles of potions.
"When have I ever not kept a promise to you Ronald Weasley?" she said the new found sympathy she had for him quickly melting away.
"No, Hermione." He said, rising up his hands in an attempt to make her hear him out. "I just mean had it been me, I don't know if I would have kept that promise." His eyes wandered down to the bed and Hermione noticed that he looked rather upset. "Look if you want to leave I would understand, I mean I haven't been…"
Hermione had listened to this long enough she deftly cut Ron off taking a seat in the chair she had occupied last night and said, "If I wanted to leave I would have when you were getting your potions. I came to see you and now that you are finally "awake" we can visit."
Ron nodded his agreement and they both sat in what could be called an uncomfortable silence. They hadn't talked for months and here they were finally together in the same room, no Lavender, no Harry it was just her and Ron. She had waited for this moment since last night. But now that it was here she had no idea what to say to him.
The silence seemed to stretch out longer and longer. Hermione had taken to examining her fingernails. She couldn't bring herself to look at him let alone say anything. It had been so much easier when he had been 'asleep' she had talked to him then. But now facing a wide awake Ron she had no idea what to say. She was about to make her excuses and flee when Ron's voice startled her, "So how's your year been?"
How's my year been? How's my year been! Hermione was dumbfounded. He didn't really just ask her that did he? Her year had been awful. Horrible. How could he think it had been any different? She battled the fine line between laughter and tears when laughter finally seemed to win out. She couldn't help it. The question was so ridiculous. Her laughter was quickly becoming hysterical but she couldn't help herself. Ron was staring at her as if she had lost her mind and maybe she finally had. Maybe the stress of the last day had finally caught up with her, she didn't know but before she could say anything her laughter quickly turned to tears and she buried her head on the bed next to Ron's hand, her tears soaking the thin blanket.
She couldn't seem to stop crying no matter how hard she tried. After what seemed to be ages she knew she needed to calm herself and tell Ron everything. But before she could even think about what she was doing she felt Ron's hand stroking her hair and heard him making soothing comments.
She didn't start paying attention until she heard him say words she never thought he would say. "Shh, Hermione. I'm sorry. That was stupid of me, I should have known better."
Known better? She tried to keep the chuckle from escaping into another sob. One of the many things that she loved about Ron, yet infuriated her at the same time, was that he always spoke before thinking. She stopped crying and just lay there for a moment before sitting up and wiping her eyes. She had a strange feeling he was talking about much more than asking her that insipid question.
"No, Ron it's okay. It's just been a hard few days, I'm fine really." She said wiping the tears out of her eyes. She wasn't sure if she wanted to talk about what had happened over the last few months. Not yet. She hadn't taken the time to realize her hand was in his again, his thumb stroking her knuckles or that she was now sitting on the bed.
"It's been more than a few days for me."
Hermione didn't know what to think but she began to panic again. They weren't ready for this. They hadn't talked in months and there was no way there were ready for any talk about their relationship they needed to rebuild their friendship first and work on establishing that. "Ron, I really am not ready to talk about any of this. Not now, not today."
"Hermione, its time." he said moving up on the bed and putting his hand on her cheek. "We can't keep putting this off. It's always not now and not today. But it really needs to be now. I need it to be now."
Now she was stunned. What had happened to her stumbling, insecure Ron? She wasn't sure what to do with him but as his face began to move closer to hers she knew that she had to make a decision and fast.
"Ron, I can't kiss you right now. I want to, you have no idea how much I want to but I can't." she said the tears welling up in her eyes again.
The look on his face broke her heart. It was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life. She wanted so badly to kiss him right now and tell him that everything was fine that he didn't have to worry about anything but she knew she would never be able to live with herself if she did that. She couldn't be the other girl, no matter how much she disliked Lavender she couldn't put anyone through the pain that she had gone through these past months.
He dropped his hand from her face like he had just be burned and sat back against his pillow again. "Oh I guess I'm not good enough to kiss? Is that it?"
Hermione felt her anger start to rise. "Did you not listen to a word I said Ron? Did you not hear me say I wanted to but I couldn't? Not today? Didn't you hear that?"
"Then tell me why Hermione. I know how you feel and I feel the same way. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kiss you right now."
"Because I refuse to be the other girl Ron!" Hermione said trying to hold back her tears. "I refuse to let anyone feel the way I did this year. Do you know how lonely I was without you? Do you know what it was like to see you kiss my roommate day after day? It hurt. I can't even explain how much. I won't do that to anyone else Ron. I can't."
She couldn't hold the tears back anymore. She never knew it would feel that good to get all that out, but it felt freeing. "Hermione, please don't cry again. I hate it when I make you cry. Every time I saw you I wanted to make it better but I didn't know how. I screwed everything up Hermione and I didn't know how to fix it."
"Then why didn't you do anything about it Ron?" she
"Because I didn't know how and I wasn't good enough for you then."
Now it was her hand resting on his cheek. She was stunned by this how could he think that? "Ron, what do you mean you weren't good enough for me? You've always been the only one for me. You've always been good enough for me, maybe too good for me."
Ron's hand moved up and took hers in his and pulled it down in front of them. "Hermione, I'm going to make this right for you. I promise you we will be together as soon as I can end this thing with Lavender. You are the only one for me. But, if you don't want to be the other girl, you had better go before I can't stop myself from kissing you any longer." She looked down at her small hand in his, and watched as he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it lightly.
She smiled sweetly at him and then moved off the bed gathering her things to leave. She reached for the sweater on the back of the chair trying to why she had brought a sweater with her. Picking it up she looked at it closely and she realized it wasn't hers. She tried to figure out whose it was when it hit her. Dropping the sweater as if it had been on fire she swung around to look at Ron. Dreading the confirmation she knew she would see in his eyes.
"Hermione, I really hate to ask you this." He started "But when Lavender was here she left her sweater, would you mind, I mean could you, if it wouldn't bother you to much, take it to her for me?"
He did not just ask me to take his girlfriends sweater back to her did he? She looked at him hoping he would contradict what he had just said but he looked at her sheepishly and she felt her anger start to rise. How dare he. Honestly after everything that they just talked about he had to bring up his girlfriend and ask her to do a favor for that, that twit?
"Hermione, please just hear me out about this." Ron said trying to pull himself up.
"Go ahead, Ron." She said crossing her arms in front of her waiting for his explanation.
"I mean you don't have to give it to her just kind of lay it about your dorm. Please, I really don't want to see her. Forget it Hermione. I am sorry." She looked at him and her anger melted.
"No Ron its fine." She said picking up the sweater again. "But you will have to talk to her eventually, I won't wait forever."
"I know." He said "I will make this right, Hermione. I will."
She couldn't help but smile. Ron had his head on his pillow again his eyes were starting to get heavy from the potions Madam Pomfrey had given him. "Ron, I'm going to go now. You need your rest." Hermione said standing up. She leaned down and kissed him quickly on the cheek, those kisses mean so much more now, she thought to herself as she moved to the opening in the curtain. "I'll be back to see you again later."
"I know." he said. I'm not going anywhere, anyway."
Hermione slipped out from behind the curtain and tried not giggle as she exited the hospital wing. Everything was going to be fine now. Just fine.
