Part 3 - The Things I Know
There wasn't enough time.
Paige pulled the bedroom door closed as silently as she had eased it open and scurried toward her own room. That single thought pursuing her more effectively than any demon had so far managed to do. She slipped into her room breathlessly, letting the door click shut behind her as though it could somehow shut out this new knowledge. There were some things that a person just didn't need to know, didn't want to know. There was something she had heard once that seemed to fit the situation perfectly. There are some things that happen in life that you can never unsee. This was one of those things.
Drawing a shaky breath, Paige sat quietly on the edge of her bed trying to sort through the turmoil she felt. Needing to bring order to the chaos before she had to face either of them. She wasn't even sure it would be possible to do so. Especially when she found herself having to suppress a ridiculous urge to giggle as the line of a Don Henley song found its way into her thoughts. 'This is the end of the innocence.'
"Get a grip Paige, this isn't funny," she admonished herself aloud. As though the sound of her own voice might somehow chase away the foreboding and disaster she felt looming on the horizon.
She hadn't been spying. Hadn't even realized there was anything to spy on. She had been wrapped up in her own life for several months now. She spent most of her time moving from one temp job to another and trying to have a social life in addition to dodging demons every other day. Adjusting to her life as a witch and the discovery that she was now one of three sisters had kept her busy enough when it came to family matters. And it was realizing that that had put her at Piper's door this morning.
The day after Christmas, Boxing Day as it was known in certain parts of the world. One of the best shopping sale days of the year. Paige had decided that is was the perfect time for a bit of sisterly bonding and had planned a shopping trip with Piper since Phoebe already had plans. Paige shook her head, obviously Phoebe's plans had their own little role to play in what was currently plaguing her. She'd decided to start the day early by waking Piper and just hanging out together over breakfast. Bad Idea, Paige.
It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. Padding silently down the hall, she had eased Piper's door open quietly to avoid startling her awake. After all, surprising someone could be a very bad idea in this house. To say she'd been surprised at the sight that greeted her was to understate matters considerably. In spite of her frequent absences from the house Paige wasn't completely oblivious to the household situation. The sight of her sister and brother-in-law curled up in bed together would have been enough of a shock. The image of her sister curled up with the wrong brother-in-law was almost more than Paige could take.
"How could they?" Paige spoke the question as though she actually expected an answer from her silent room. But even as she said it, she knew it lacked the vehemence it should have had. The sad reality was that she knew exactly how they could have. It was an uncomfortable understanding for her. And, she knew, probably the reason she had ignored what she now saw as a deafening clang of warning bells.
She'd watched it happen and had refused to admit, even to herself, that her senses weren't playing tricks on her. Perhaps it had been easier that way.
She'd seen Leo and Piper slowly fall apart. It was sad, but seeing both sides of it, had left her with little to say on the subject. Leo needed to follow his destiny, to be the force of good that he had been destined to be for so many years. And as much as he loved Piper, he had grown resentful and withdrawn at her lack of understanding of that need. Eventually, he had simply given up trying to serve two masters. Paige knew that Piper hadn't tried to drive him away though. Her destiny had cost her so many things she valued in life. Her friends, her sister, her chance for children. She'd desperately needed a husband. And a guardian angel just hadn't filled that need.
Paige exhaled noisily.
Phoebe and Cole were perhaps less dramatic, but no less sad. She knew about Phoebe's affair. It would have been impossible not to know. She didn't come home many nights, didn't bother to attempt any kind of excuses, and no one had bothered to ask.
Paige didn't believe that it was really that she wanted to hurt Cole. It was more that she wanted to feel she had a life, before she lost it to the danger that filled their lives. And Cole? Paige had initially been very uncomfortable when she learned what he was. Then she had felt a certain kinship with him. He had given up the only life he had ever known for an existence that was often foreign to him. She'd even felt a sort of sad admiration for him as she'd watched him swallow his pride to hold on to that new life.
Rising to pace the room restlessly, Paige recognized that she was right back where she had begun. Back to Piper and Cole. Searching herself for the anger she thought she should feel and finding only a melancholy sense of sympathy. She understood. In truth, she'd played her part in allowing it to happen. But the worst of it was that she was feeling guilty about not feeling guilty about that part.
Knowing what was happening to them all, she'd ignored a very natural possible consequence. She'd been aware of how much time the two of them spent together. Known that, of the four, those two were probably the most lost, the most emotionally needy. Paige was forced to acknowledge that the only reason she'd been unaware of how close Cole and Piper had become was because she hadn't wanted to know.
The sound of footsteps in the hallway broke her reverie. It was a sound that would now forever call to mind the picture of Cole slipping quietly back to his room in the early morning hours. Paige pasted a smile on her face as she prepared to join her sister.
There would be plenty of opportunity to deal with the fall out from this another day. There hadn't been enough time to stop them; it had been too late. And Paige's truth was that she wasn't sure she would have tried even if she had known.
