"You're angry."
Manjyome didn't reply and merely looked at him, his slanted eyes showing disbelief at the entire situation. After a few moments, he shook his head and looked away, as if trying to convince himself that this wasn't actually happening.
"Manjyome, please don't be angry," Juudai tried again, his lower lip quivering slightly. "It was an accident…"
Upon hearing these words, he shot Juudai a cold, harsh look. The brown-eyed boy flinched.
"You think?" he snapped.
Juudai's gaze trailed down to his feet. "Why? Why are you—"
Manjyome silenced him with a hand. "I should be asking you that. Why? Just…why did you have to do that?" He sighed heavily and then slammed his fist against the wall, making Juudai jump up.
His uniform, his old blue Obelisk uniform was now gone due to the brunette's foolhardy mistake. Manjyome was unable to fully process how somebody even as stupid as Juudai was could have thrown such an important article away like that.
"I thought it was garbage!"
What kind of goddamned idiot thought garbage would be hanging in mint condition from the wall, carefully lined in plastic where he could see it every single day to remind himself how forbiddingly low he had fallen?
That Obelisk uniform…it was the only thing Manjyome had left to remind himself of the good old days. Though he could no longer legally wear it around in the academy, it still comforted him to see a little piece of his past, of his glory days as one of the best duelists on campus.
Despite what most people thought, he didn't want to be in Osiris Red. Everybody else had that demented misconception that he was actually happy being in the lowest dorm, especially Juudai.
"It was an accident…really. I didn't mean any of it!" Juudai's voice suddenly grew softer and there was a hint of plea in his voice. "Why do you care so much? You're not an Obelisk anymore. You're an Osiris like me…why does your old uniform mean so much to you anyway?"
"Because it does!" Manjyome shouted, trying his hardest to repress his anger. "It just does!"
He couldn't tell Juudai what that uniform truly meant to him, so Manjyome wasn't exactly surprise when Juudai merely smiled off his outburst. Juudai didn't understand. He didn't understand the full situation—he didn't understand anything at all, whatsoever!
"I don't get you, Manjyome. Most people would be glad to throw away their old stuff, but you just keep holding onto it…" Juudai grinned lightly. "You're so strange."
Manjyome growled and narrowed his eyes. He was not in the mood for this right now, didn't Juudai understand?
"Don't give me that crap. If anybody's strange, it's you, drop-out boy," he snarled.
But Juudai continued to smile widely as if smiling would rid the world of all its troubles. The stupid fool. "I'm not strange at all," he teased in a light tone that made Manjyome want to slap him. "I love my dorm, the people in my dorm, my teachers…"
"Well, that teacher of yours better get me a new roommate sometime soon…" he muttered darkly underneath his breath.
However, Juudai heard him.
"…why do you still say that?" he asked abruptly.
Manjyome shot him an irritated glare. "Say what?"
"That you don't want to bunk with me." Juudai's eyes became uneasy, losing its innocent glee. His smile was gone. "I mean… it's funny and all the first time, but now the joke's getting old. You're going to hurt my feelings."
The spiky-haired boy stared at him, disgust written all over his face.
"What do you mean, 'joke'?" he snapped. "Do I look like the type of person who makes jokes?"
Despite his harsh words, Juudai shook his head, as if refusing to believe that Manjyome was telling the truth.
"Will you drop the tough guy act already?" he pleaded, a hint of desperation in his voice. "You don't always need to put up your defenses around everybody." Juudai leaned over to touch his arm. "Especially your friends…"
Manjyome immediately jerked back from him, despite the fact Juudai hadn't gotten anywhere near his arm yet.
"I don't have friends! I never had friends! You're not my friend! You never were my friend!"
Juudai clamped his hands over his ears and shut his eyes. "Manjyome, stop that!" he shouted, his voice slowly rising, as if trying to drown the truth with the volume. "I know you don't mean it, so stop lying!"
"I'm not lying!"
"Yes, you are—"
Manjyome seized him by the wrist and wrenched his hands away from his ears, forcing Juudai to look at him. He spat out his next words like venom.
"If you hadn't beaten me in a duel, then I wouldn't even be in this wretched slug house in the first place! I'd be back in the Obelisk dorms, reliving some of my old glory, sleeping in clean sheets, and dining on real food rather than being stuck in this cockroach-ridden room with an idiot who doesn't even know whether he's being INSULTED OR NOT!"
With a quick pull of the arm, Manjyome flung Juudai to the other side of the room.
"Does that sound like I'm lying to you? Does it?"
Juudai crashed into the wastebasket. It toppled over, strewing garbage all over his lap and the floor. He sat there, unmoving, stunned. The brown-eyed boy's expression was not one that suited him at all. His pupils had dilated and his mouth was slightly agape, no trace of his usual smile or happiness showing on any part of his face.
Silence.
Slowly, then, ever so slowly, Juudai rose from the floor. His countenance was detached and he stiffly brushed some of the debris off his jacket. He strode over to where Manjyome was still standing numbly.
Manjyome's entire frame was silently shaking, his breathing heavy and uneven, his fists clenched so tightly together that the knuckles were white.
"…is that why you still call me 'Dropout boy' after all this time?" Juudai finally asked, his voice unusually eerie.
He avoided Juudai's piercing gaze, a pang of regret stinging his side. Manjyome hadn't meant to burst out like that, nor had he had he been planning to physically harm the brunette. It just came out so abruptly and when anger got the best of his sense…
"You don't think I put enough effort into dueling, do you?" Juudai glanced away and stared longingly at the window. The outside scenery was so beautiful. "I always thought you were just saying that…as friends teasing friends…" he trailed off. "But I guess I was wrong, huh?"
He swerved around and glared at him with such cold intensity that the black-haired boy almost flinched. Manjyome had never seen his roommate so angry before. Juudai stepped forward with his hand gripped over his chest, his eyes flashing with silent fury.
"Well then, Manjyome Jun, I'd like to remind you what the outcome of both our duels was," he said sharply.
He took another step forward and closed the gap between the two until their faces were barely inches apart.
"In case you haven't forgotten, I creamed you in both matches so you have no—"
Juudai was cut off suddenly as Manjyome leaned forward and shut his mouth with a kiss. It was clumsy and showed obvious hints it was his first attempt, but the kiss was gentle andunerring at the same time. Surprisingly enough to the both of them, he didn't resist nor did Manjyome endeavor to gain further access into his mouth.
That would have been going too far.
"Why…why did you do that?" Juudai gasped as the two finally pulled apart. All other words failed him.
Manjyome gazed back at Juudai, his lips visibly trembling. He scanned Juudai's face for any signs of displeasure or revulsion at his actions.
He found none. Juudai only looked confused, breathless, and… desiring to know of his answer.
His features darkened as he cast his gaze down and his spiky, onyx hair covered the remainder of his eyes, giving him an air of bitterness.
Manjyome had never fully forgiven Juudai for winning that duel against him, for publicly humiliating him on a worldwide level and—despite all his efforts to pin the blame on his own weakness—for forcing his older brothers to disown him.
But the brunette had never said anything before, no mocking sneers or anything of the sort to bring back the sting of those memories. Juudai had never gloated in his face about those duels or acted like a jerk every time he prevailed in another one. So Manjyome had grown accustomed to believing that his loss against him was a fluke and made himself believe that was why Juudai had never boasted about his wins.
But the way he talked about it now…it struck him, and Manjyome suddenly appreciated Juudai's sensitivity to his own emotions for the first time. All those occasions before…Juudai had never said anything because he didn't wanted to make him feel bad.
"In case you haven't forgotten, I creamed you in both matches…"
Those words had genuinely hurt. They were true in every way and sense, and it had blasted him back to the arena where he was kneeling on the ground as the numbness of defeat rushed over him.
It was so much easier to run away from the reality of the situation. He could ignore the unwanted guilt during the day and pretend in his dreams.
Manjyome finally understood. He would always be a level below Juudai. He had prided himself on being above everybody else when in reality, he was the weak one.
"…because I don't want to face the truth," Manjyome finally replied quietly as he came to this final conclusion. "Because maybe if you wouldn't talk so much next time, I wouldn't have to resort to such drastic measures, Juudai."
Brown eyes flashed with realization. "That's the first time you called me by my name…"
Juudai trailed off as Manjyome's gaze landed on him.
"Shut up."
And he captured his lips once more.
The ocean scenery was stunning during the nighttime. They were sitting contently on the highest cliff of the island with nothing but the dark waves crashing into the hollows of the overhang and the endless sky suspended above their heads. Juudai had brought Manjyome here on the first night he had returned to the academia, when he was still resentful and sulky from being demoted to the Osiris dorm. The stars had taken away his breath away back then, just as it did now when Manjyome gazed at them with the brunette sitting by his side.
"…I had wanted it…"
Manjyome bit his lip, stopping himself before the wrong words came out of his mouth. He felt the cool ocean breeze sweep over his face and brush some strands of ebony hair into his eyes. He shook them away. What had he wanted from the beginning?
"…from Asuka." He breathed at the sound of her name and was awed over how unfamiliar it still tasted to say it. "My first kiss. I had wanted it from her."
Juudai shifted next to him. Though most people would recognize that as an act of insecurity, Manjyome could tell the other boy was far from uncomfortable with their relationship. Within a matter of hours, the two of them developed an unbreakable bond.
"Do you regret kissing me now?" Juudai asked, his tone light, secure. There was no hesitation or jealousy in his voice.
Only a second passed before Manjyome softly replied, "Maybe."
The moonlight that reflected off his face only made him more beautiful.
"She's in good hands…" Juudai whispered, smiling.
Almost unconsciously, he leaned his head on the brunette's shoulder. Words meant nothing, but actions spoke for themselves in volumes unheard. Manjyome felt this adage come to life as Juudai's soft hands rose and began caressing the black spikes of his hair.
"Dropout boy…" he finally said.
"Yeah?"
There was a pause.
"…I hate you."
And Juudai continued to stroke his hair.
